When Levi returned to the same spot, a few days later, to see if his letter was taken, he was surprised to see that it wasn't. It was weighed down with the same kidney-shaped stone he had used. He felt his heart drop down along with his deepening frown and snatched it away almost angrily. He was just about to tear it to shreds when he spotted some scribbles he had no memories ever writing. It was a little damp and ripped in some corners, but he opened it without having to damage it any further. He read the answer left for him, and then again and again and again until he stopped sweating from walking to the spot.

The one part he especially liked was "still madly in love with you." Although it was a simple, six lettered sentence, he thought of it as poetry and art. He wanted to bring the wrecked letter home, cut those words out and photocopy it and then proceed to glue it onto every nook and cranny of his apartment until the chipped paint was no longer visible. He wanted it tattooed on himself, wanted it permanently stuck in his mind. He clutched the letter to his chest as if it was the only thing keeping him down on earth as if it was Eren he was really hugging.

It was as if every force above was causing him to melt his self-control, and he was losing it at a rapid pace. The more he thought about him, the more he wanted him to be his. Levi, for an odd reason, kind of believed that alternative universes exist. He thought perhaps there is a universe out there where he and Eren met naturally, not in a forceful manner. Maybe in that same universe, they were together. He often liked to picture it in his mind, how he would skim Eren's fingers with his. A soft and light touch was enough to provoke deep feelings of admiration and affection.

He went home and pinned the letter above his bed on the ceiling so that it was the last thing he'd see when he fell asleep and the first thing he'd say when he woke up.

Eren woke up with a start. His heartbeat pounded into his ears like merciless thunder and he bolted straight up as if he were possessed. It was raining outside, and he had just woke up from a horrible dream, the same dream about the red string falling apart over and over again. It was not a horrifying dream, nor was it disturbing but whenever Eren dreamt about it, dread washed over him and the anxiety that followed was almost unbearable. It made him want to grab the nearest phone and contact Levi immediately just so he could retell the dream. He once read in an online article that dreams always had meaning. He just didn't figure out what his meant yet.

The dreams occurred more often, and he hadn't returned to the park ever since he sent a reply to Levi in hopes that he will read it. There was no need, Levi said he wasn't able to see him too much. A few weeks had already passed, and he was starting to wonder how he was going to find him. He met him two times from pure coincidence and he hoped it would happen again. They lived in the same small city after all. It shouldn't be too hard. He craved Levi's presence. If they were to meet up again, he would be glad to just be looking at him. It would be enough to send him over the moon. Just thinking about the image of them together made his aching heart pound even harder than it already was. It was odd how he once wanted to be as far as he could from the man, now he wanted to with him all the time. Was this love or infatuation?

Eren couldn't tell. He had never been seriously in love, or at least never felt this before. He was nothing more than a kid trying to ride a bike without the training wheels, or a baby taking their first few steps. He was a newborn fawn, wobbling but sure of everything.

Eren sat up with slow and robotic movements, in no rush to get it on with his morning. He rubbed the heavy sleep out of his eye before sliding his cold feet into some house slippers Armin had given him not so long ago. He was going to see his counselor again but wasn't really looking forward to it even though he had plenty to say. The thing about counselors was that they couldn't really cure people, that wasn't the job. Their job is it help broken people cure themselves somehow. Although Eren was still having trouble doing the most simple tasks like getting out of bed, he wanted to help himself. In this case, he had to save himself this time. Healing was not bubble baths and easy counseling sessions like a lot of shows portrayed it to be, it was going to be ugly and hard. Perhaps Levi was just a lovely distraction from all of it.

"How have you been feeling recently?" was the first question Petra asked him the moment their bottoms hit their seats. She appeared serious, her hands clasped together in her lap and her eyebrows strung up.

"God. I don't know. All sorts of things," Eren mumbled as he brushed his hand through his unkempt hair. He signed as he kept readjusting his sitting position.

"You're in love," Petra stated frankly.

"What?" Eren exclaimed and suddenly straightened his posture. He was now on edge as he eyed Petra with disbelief. "How would you know that?"

"We girls know things. I've been in love, and I know what a guy looks like when he's completely captivated. It's not too hard to tell either. When you walked in, you smiled at me. Now that's just a dead giveaway. Something about you seems... lighter."

"I did lose weight after all," Eren joked, but it was true. Whenever he was having a bad day, he hated having to eat and only would if someone brought it up to his room.

"Very funny. Is this person the reason for your good mood today?"

"Maybe. I'm not too sure what this is, though. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way," Eren told her with a shake of his head.

"And why is that? If you're speaking of same-sex attraction, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with that. People should fall in love with the soul, not what's in their pants. I don't ever want you to feel that you're not supposed to be feeling a certain way, because every emotion of yours is valid and real-"

"It's not like that. I mean, you guessed correctly, but that's not what I'm worried about. This person's past isn't very good. They've done horrible things because they were connected to the wrong kind of people. He's a good person now. He's getting the help he needs and he's accepting whatever is thrown at him as a punishment. He saved me once," Eren explained. He was grateful that Petra was only briefly told about Eren's kidnapping, sparing the deep details. She knew that Eren was taken by two men, but didn't know that Levi was the one who helped him get home.

"Like I said, you fall in love with their soul. I think as long as they accept their punishment and take it gracefully, it should be good. Unless they've done something horrid like commit murder, which I highly doubt. Eren, I know this will sound like what a common Tumblr girl would write on their poetry blog, but if truly feel that they're right in your heart, don't let anything stop you. They say it's wiser to follow the brain, but  would you rather regret doing something than regret doing something you haven't done?"

"Are you telling me to go after him?"

"Yes. Perhaps I am."

"Already have."

"Oh?"

"I didn't know you would encourage me."

"Well, I don't want to tell you what you can't do, because that isn't my job. I can tell you what you can do, but that's all up to you to decide if you want to," Petra told him. "But listen, romantic love can't heal what you're going through. It can help speed the process, so that's why I'm encouraging you."

"I love him," Eren mumbled under his breath as he rested his elbows on the sore skin above his knee. He didn't seem to notice he was speaking his thoughts aloud.

"That's great! I'm sure he's a wonderful person, Eren. Do you find that he's been improving your mood?" she questioned, pen poised to attack the clipboard.

"Yes, actually. Obviously, I'm still a bit down and I think I will be for a while, but I'm able to do the smallest things I couldn't bring myself to do before. I like to go outside for often, and I'm making a little more effort to take care of myself," he stated, proud of himself. It was little steps towards victory.

"Amazing. I'm very pleased to know you're doing better, Eren, because you're worth it and you have every right to be happy again," she said with a sweet smile, but then frowned right after. "Do be careful please. Love is both hurtful and wonderful, though it can be quite rewarding if you play your cards right. Trust me. I know from experience." At the last sentence, her voice went soft and the shine in her eyes was bittersweet. "What you must understand is that love is a game of trust. You're essentially letting that person hold your heart in their hands, and then it's up to them to decide what they want to do with it. Surely you know this, but sometimes they, unfortunately, choose to abuse it. They close their fists over it. Crush it. Suffocate it. All sorts of bad things. When this happen, it's obviously going to feel like it's the end of the world, because you trusted that person and they did you wrong. In your state of mind right now, this can be very dangerous. It's like piling more negativity on top of another existent pile and therefore worsen your mental health. When you let him hold your heart, you must keep a watchful eye upon it" 

Eren nodded. Even though he had never been in love like this, he understood perfectly well from the way she described it. What he liked so much about Petra was that she was enthusiast but she knew how to be realistic when she had to. He hoped Levi wouldn't do what she warned her about. 

Eren had forgotten Levi was going to the same counseling office as he was, and found it pleasant that he conveniently bumped into Levi once more. It was like whatever god in the sky was really rooting for him now. Levi was just exiting the building as well, hands stuffed in his pockets and his nose buried in a heavy scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. He noticed the younger man almost right away, his eyes widened and his hands freed themselves from his pockets to loosen his scarf even more. 

"Eren," he said as if they were meeting for the very first time again. 

"It's been a while, Levi." 

"I'm sorry," Levi apologized quickly. "You got my letter though, didn't you? I couldn't do anything-" 

"I'm not mad," Eren cut I'm off. "I'm glad to see you again. I've been terribly lonely. Not even my puppy Bean could lift my spirits. I couldn't stop thinking about you." 

"What a coincidence. I've been doing the same." Levi was being sarcastic, but there was some sincerity in his voice. 

"How have you been?" 

To answer his question, Levi bent down to roll down the fabric of his pants so that it could reveal his bare ankle. At first, Eren was confused, but then let out a little "oh" of surprise. He clapped his hands in together in delight. 

"Your ankle bracelet is off," Eren whispered with awe as he peered closer at it. 

"Yes, but I still need to take counseling sessions. The government didn't say anything about me having to continue it, but I just thought it would be better for me. I've been doing fine. How about you?"  He proceeded to roll the fabric back down and straightened his posture. He shivered from the cold. 

"I still feel that certain blue way, but I no longer get bad flashbacks. I do from time to time, but they aren't as bad anymore. Scary yes, but I can tolerate them. Seeing you doesn't trigger them anymore. Although there's been an improvement, I still need to take these godawful meds. I know they're good for me, so I need to take them. There's been a lot going on and it was as if time has gone slower without you. I missed you"

"I missed you too," Levi mumbled and aggressively shoved his hands back into his pockets. He began to wonder when young people started to get more smooth with their words. At this rate, Eren was going to make Levi's teeth rot; he was too sweet. 

"Can I tell you something that might anger you?" 

"Shoot." Levi already went through so many stages of anger that he was sure that the thing Eren was going to tell him wouldn't be bad compared to everything else.

"I want to kiss you," he said with a sound that sounded between a mix of a moan and a sigh. This alarmed Levi. Here they were, in daylight and Eren was making noises he had no idea he would be able to make. He could faintly recall their first kiss; he was drunk and Eren had kissed him in such a chaste way that he was sure no other angel could be more innocent looking than he was at the time. Now Eren was an adult and he was moaning outside where anyone could possibly hear him. Of course, there was the chance it wasn't intentional, but the way Eren looked at Levi told him otherwise. There was a dangerous glint in it. Levi was not certain if he liked it or not. 

"I wish you would," Levi blurted out and slapped a hand over his mouth as if it would bring the four words back. His eyes flew to Eren in embarrassment then down to the ground.

"Follow me," Eren said quickly and then began to walk away in such a fast pace that Levi had to lightly run in order for his shorter legs to catch up with Eren's skyscraper ones. Levi didn't know where Eren was going, but it was like he felt compelled to follow him. If Eren ended up being an ax murderer, Levi was sure he would follow him anywhere. There was something about his presence that was so lovely and pleasant. They walked past shops with Levi trailing behind him. Finally, they reached a narrow space between two fairly aged buildings, an alleyway, and that was when Eren abruptly turned around, grabbed Levi's wrist and dragged him in the mild darkness where the small number of wandering people couldn't see them. Before Levi could protest and demanded why he was being so rough, a pair of familiar lips came smashing down on his.

Initially, Levi was slightly irritated that Eren had suddenly shoved him against an uncomfortable brick wall that dug into his back, but the feeling of his lips pressing against his calmed him down. Levi had been expecting this, the moment where the both of them would crack and succumb to the urge of wanting one another so desperately. Eren hooked his fingers around the belt loops of Levi's pants and brought the two of them closer. This was when they fell apart like sand, tumbling into pieces and meshing into one. If someone was watching from afar, they wouldn't call it a kiss, they would call it a collision of hands, teeth, and tongue.  Suddenly Levi didn't know the definition of self-control. He was starving for something he never knew he would have. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren's shoulders passionately as he opened his mouth willingly. Eren slid one hand inside his shirt and caressed the side of his torso, making him shudder violently and release a sharp gasp.  

"Eren, we really-" he was cut off mid-sentence when his lips were captured once again. He quickly turned his face away to break their mouths apart. "We shouldn't be doing this." 

"Why do you feel so eager then? I know you've been waiting for this like I have. I bet you can't look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me as much as I want you," Eren said almost angrily. He was panting with strands of his messy hair falling onto his forehead. Levi found this hot, and he loved how hot and bothered Eren appeared. With a head shake of disapproval, Levi's words countered his actions when he stepped onto his toes and lost all sense of being the responsible adult he knew he was supposed to be. With a feverish kind of heat inside him, he made their lips collide and reunite like they were meant to be glued to each other. Levi parted his lips and aggressively snatched the collar of Eren's shirt so that he could switch places with him. With the younger one under his control now, he began to grind lightly on him, earning him hushed moans and gasps as their mouths moved in sync and their lungs fighting for air.  Levi was shaking as if caught the flu; he was feeling so uncomfortably cold but warm where his fingers traced the skin under Eren's shirt. The feel of damp skin had never felt so pleasant in his life before. He broke away from the sloppy but sensual kiss to place his lips on the edge of Eren's jaw. He kissed it as if it was Eren's mouth and licked the raindrops off of it. This was nothing like the night Eren kissed him while he was drunk. His lips didn't taste like fizzy pop like it had back then, nor were his movements careful and cautious. It was as if Eren was trying to convey his profound emotions, his body a sea of words his lips could not pass through. Even so, Levi understood perfectly. Their kiss a secret language only the two of them could communicate with. Levi pulled at Eren's lower lip tenderly with his teeth and pushed his hands forward so that they slid up his moist shirt. The chocolate-haired boy's erratic heartbeat was thumping violently under his warm palm. Levi decided right then that it was his favourite rhythm in the universe. 

"I want you to take me," Eren murmured straight into his ear as his flicked out and traced the outline of the cartilage. "Please." There was an alarming trace of desperation laced in his rough voice. The tent building in his pants was rapidly growing in size. Levi pushed his crotch against his as a response, earning yet another quiet moan. "Levi, you're driving me crazy here." 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he replied as he snaked his hands down to Eren's v-line. 

"Drive me wild then." 

"It will be my pleasure." 

ok maybe some of you will think it's rushed but I have my reasons!!

i hope you liked this half- assed kiss scene anyway. i use the free version of grammarly so i hope there isn't too many mistakes. i hope you guys won't mind. ya girl is tired, like always.

I love you all dearly <3 

-t