With his current situation Levi shouldn't abuse the power to go outside so often, but he had behaved so well that the head of the police had shortened his period of time arrest even smaller. He was extremely grateful, but strangely he felt like he was betraying them. It was almost eleven thirty and the park was already so close to his house so he had decided after all to go see Eren. He decided it was best to go because he was there to officially cut ties with the boy. Although his heart squeezed from hearing his confession, but he knew he would have his ass handed to him by multiple people if he were to accept said confession and hit it off with Eren. He was interested in him, yes, and he had always been feeling that way but he knew for Eren's sake it he would have to reject him properly.

His feelings toward Eren was very confusing. Sometimes when he really thought about it, he didn't know how he would define it. Clearly, he felt something for him, but deep down he would feel guilty and very shameful if he were to say he loved him. Perhaps he felt something much more than love, something so intense and passionate that it seared right through his soul...

With a sigh, he took a careful sip of his scorching hot coffee as he thought about how his day would go, and he already knew. He would end up regretting whatever decision he made yet again. Deep down he knew it was wrong for him to meet up with Eren, but this was for sure going to be their last meeting, right?

---

It was not going to their last meeting, and he knew this the moment Eren flashed a goofy smile at him. One of those smiles that sent his heart racing to the heavens and back down again. He slapped a hand over his chest as if to keep it from running away.

It was yet another luminescent but rainy day. The sun was a faint orb of pastel yellow in the distance behind the light brushes of pearl clouds in the swimming pool- like sky. It was a bit brisk, but nothing too bad. Tiny droplets kissed his face and bare hands, but he didn't wipe them off nor pull his hoodie over his head. It was a nice and relaxing feeling, especially with the branches of trees flailing and swaying around like drunken individuals dancing to smooth jazz.

Eren was dressed more approachable now; his hair was still slightly damp from a morning shower and he was wearing clean vans, black jeans and a thrifted looking grey pullover. A cigarette hang loosely at his mouth as he stepped forward to Levi. He seemed to be in a happy mood, and Levi was glad to see him so... bright and light, at least that's what he looked like. There's no way telling if he really was in a good mood, especially with the way he portrayed himself yesterday; he was so drained and bitter, and now he was jumpy and loud. If people could be colours, Eren be yellow. Not the bright, neon yellow that companies often used on children's accessories, but the kind of worn-out yellow. The pastel and faded looking one that resembled dried up skin coloured paint.

"Remove that stupid grin off your face immediately," Levi ordered sourly.

"Stingy, aren't we?" Eren mocked.

"Just say what you need to say so I can leave," Levi snapped.

"Oh come on." Eren spoke like a college football student trying to impress a girl. "Don't be so cold. Let's take a walk." He reached forward to grasp Levi's arm as an attempt to move him from the concrete he seemed to be glued to.

Levi side stepped him to avoid his arm. "Like hell I'll take a walk with you."

"Oh, but you will," Eren said, so sure of himself. "Is you can arrive here, you can walk with me. Parks aren't meant for walking. Only weirdos stand around doing nothing at the park."

"Whatever," Levi mumbled under his breath and gave in. He always found it hard to argue against Eren's wishes, because he was young and so he was stubborn.

As they walked, Levi was irritated as soon as he noticed their massive difference in height. Eren was a walking tree, and Levi was like a mouse compared to him. Even so, Levi felt like Eren was the smaller one mentally. When he had kidnapped him, he noticed how Eren had always tried to pretend to be brave even in the scariest of moments, and what he was doing was similar to the technique he had done back then. His eyes, wrinkled faintly at the corners from smiling so much, were dull and worn out like he hadn't caught a glimpse of the sun in decades. Levi saw him as the dawn; he was the sun, but he was expiring. Seeing someone so radiant and lovely be so blue and doleful pained his heart.

You did this, you moron, he told himself wistfully with a shake of his head. This is all your fucking fault. You did this to him.

"What are you sulking about?" Eren questioned, noticing that Levi was looking down and had a distressed look across his face. "You really hate me that much?"

"Look, Eren, I don't have much time and I shouldn't even be doing this. Please just tell me what you dragged me here for and I'll take my leave. I'm a very impatient person, and you chattering away isn't making it any better," Levi went on and brushed a strand of loose hair from his face.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there," Eren said and put his hands up. "You were the one who took the time come out here on your own. I didn't drag you here, Ackerman, I told you I was going to be here at noon and stated I would expect you to be here. I didn't think you'd actually listen to me, so now I don't have any words planned out to express how I'm feeling and they're spilling out like spoiled milk. I'm chattering because I didn't have any time to think."

The wind blew onto their faces then, with a generous amount of rain. Eren wiped at his face aggressively, as if he could remove all the sad that sagged down his features, as if he could erase his past.

"Don't think then," Levi mumbled. "Just tell me."

"I love you."

"I know that," Levi snapped angrily, making Eren jolt. "I know that," he said in a softer voice. "But, Eren, you know I can't return these feelings for various logical reasons."

"This doesn't add up. You used to be the bad boy kind of guy and did a bunch of illegal shit, and now you want to follow rules and do what people tell you to d?"

"Yes, because I want to rot in some jail cell, especially since they were so generous and let me have a lighter punishment. You're being unreasonable," he lectured.

"Okay let's say you didn't do anything bad, how would you feel about me then?"

"Eren, you don't want me. I'm an old and grumpy man with issues. I just don't understand what you see in me," said Levi.

"I see the good in you, and I've told you this at least a few hundred times. Maybe not now. You can figure things out first and then give me a chance."

"Eren, I can't-"

Suddenly and to Levi's shock, Eren collapsed to his his knees with his head bowed down extremely low. "Please. I'm begging you here." His voice came out like a drawn out whine.

Although there was no one in sight, Levi was starting to feel uncomfortable. He held out his hands as if to stop Eren and swore under his breath.

"Eren, don't be ridiculous. Stand up." He could not comprehend why Eren wanted to be his lover so badly. Did he like him that much?

"Not until you give the right answer." His words were muffled and quiet from looking at the ground.

"Can we just... can we just start off right, as friends? I think you're rushing things and if you rush things you will end up making the wrong choice," Levi said in a hurry. He said this for the sake himself, so that Eren would just be satisfied with his answer and get up already.

Levi's prediction was right. Eren hopped back up with a huge and blinding smile from ear to ear. "Really?" he demanded with delight and rocked back and forth on his heels. It was almost as if all the light from the happy parts of his past had returned to his eyes. "You'll consider it too, right?"

"Yes, yes, I promise Whatever you want," Levi told him and shook his head with displeasure.

"Oh thank god. Thank you," Eren exclaimed with disbelief as he stared at him with genuine happiness in his eyes. It was sort of cute to see him so overjoyed just from some loose promise he had made right on the spot.

Petra had told Eren that exposure was a good technique to overcome fears. Eren, in some way, was sort of afraid of Levi. It wasn't that he meant to be afraid of him, but it was like some instinct that was embedded deep inside him like a parasite. He didn't like being afraid him, especially since Levi was also trying hard to transform himself into a better person. So he thought perhaps the more time he spent with him, the more brave he would be. His heart said yes, but his brain was screaming no and begging him to stop it. One thing about the heart is that it gives zero fucks about what the brain found more logical and smarter; it was selfish and shameless and only cared about what it wanted itself. In this particular case, it wanted Levi desperately.

"You'll really think about it?"

"Of course," Levi said, half lying.

"And we can start over like nothing horrendous even occurred in the first place?"

"Yes. Now if that's all you wanted to tell me, may I please leave? I've been leaving the house a lot more often nowadays and I'm certain the police have noticed," Levi said impatiently and nodded toward his ankle. In all honesty, he wasn't in a rush to get home or anything nor cared that the police would notice and bring it up, his heart was boiling with excitement and he didn't want it to show in any way possible.

"When can I see you again? I reckon they don't allow you to have wifi or anything related of the sort," Eren said sadly, disappointed at just the thought of leaving Levi.

"I'll leave signs for you. You'll never know when and where, but in the moment you will know it's from me." Levi wasn't so sure how he would do it. Perhaps he would find someone to send messages for him, but it was kind of hard when you had no friends and no one to contact.

"How mysterious," Eren told him with a chuckle. "Parting is such sweet sorrow."

"Don't get your hopes up high just yet. This is like a test run, and if I could I would run away by now and never talk to you ever again," Levi said with a shake of his head.

"Why haven't you done it yet then?" Eren asked and couldn't keep the growing smile on his face away.

"Because that would hurt you, but by being with you it will lead to great consequences," the older man replied, and was suddenly aware of how cold it was.

"Are you willing to take risks? Actually, I shouldn't even be answering that. The Levi I always knew was wild and reckless; hopping on trains and running from police. You're always ready to take risks, aren't you?" Eren turned his head to look at him and came to a halt. Levi did the same.

"I am, but a little less willing and more hesitant when the most delicate part of mine is at risk," Levi murmured softly.

"And what would that be?" Eren's lips were so delicate and lovely looking, and Levi suddenly wanted to move forward to kiss him, though it took every last drop of his mental strength not to violently make out with him right then and there.

"I guess you'll find out soon."

ok I swear there will be more actions soon, I've just been very uncreative for the longest time. also, this is unedited (again) and I hope you guys don't mind TT love you all!!

-t