Eren had never been so bored in his entire life. There were times where he had to sit and wait patiently for doctor's appointments or stand in line for coffee, but the mere action of waiting was now so terribly tiring even if he wasn't moving much at all. He had his head leaning against the glass of the window as he watched the little arms on the tiny clock at the front of car move ever so slowly. Levi had found old cigars and was bored enough to light one up. He too was bored, but there wasn't much they could do. The only to options they had was to either talk (which would eventually lead to unnecessarily deep and awkward conversations) or sleep. Eren was in no mood to sleep, but he knew that if he tried to pry at Levi head on, he would shoot him down at any attempt at talking.

"I'm bored," Eren spoke his mind, without any meaning.

"Go to sleep then."

"Don't wanna."

"Stop complaining then," Levi told him and rubbed at his temples impatiently.

"There's nothing to do," Eren shot back like a child.

"Eren, please shut up," Levi said, almost angrily but calmly at the same time. He tugged at his hair without knowing it himself and let out an exasperated sigh, as if he was about to scold Eren."I'm just trying to think things over and I'm tired but you're making it hard for me. Please... Just stop talking for a bit, okay? There's nothing I can do about your boredom."

Eren shut his mouth as soon as he opened it, realizing that it was a mistake ever deciding that it would be a good idea to attempt at small talk when Levi was being moody.

"You need rest," Levi began. There was something in his voice that indicated that he was upset for whatever reason, as if he was broken inside. The sort of voice actors used whenever there was a dramatic breakup scene in overrated romance films.

It was the kind of voice the male lead would use when he told the other lead character that they could not be together, and that he had to leave them.

---

For a while, he watched Eren quickly fall asleep after struggling to keep his heavy lidded eyes opened. He studied the way his lips parted when he gently exhaled and how his lashes grazed the top of his cheeks. Strangely enough, he was going to miss these small details because he was going to leave him once and for all. It would be best for the two of them that way.

He quietly removed his only source of warmth, his jacket, and laid it smoothly upon the resting boy and gently swept fallen hair away from his face. With a sigh, he dunked his hand in the messy storage compartments to look for some paper and pen so that he would write a little note for Eren once he woke up. Levi was the type to leave without uttering a single word of his intentions, but in this case he would feel bad if he did not do anything to let Eren know about his whereabouts. Placing a worn out piece of a receipt from a sandwish shop on his thigh, he clumsily scribbled a believable excuse.

There's too much going on, so I went away to nowhere in particular. No matter what, do not attempt to find me. We won't ever be meeting again, but you won't be alone for long. The police will probably track you down soon. I'm so sorry for everything I've done. Goodbye.

-L

After carefully folding it the torn paper with ease, he carefully placed it it into the pocket of the jacket he had just put on Eren and brushed the fallen hair away from his closed eyes, the tips of his fingers just wanting to be near his skin and straining to be there. It was as if his touch was meant for Eren's skin. Levi snapped his hand back as if he were just shocked by a tiny zap, and shook off the thought. He was just about to leave, and it was not the time to suddenly get attached to someone he barely knew.

Pushing all the aggravating emotions away, he looked over his shoulder to see Eren one last time and opened the door. It took every ounce of mental energy not to slam the door and lock himself in, but stepped out. The weather outside was getting bothersome; cool air and light droplets of rain landing softly on his cheeks and decorating his lashes. The landscape before him was incredibly bright and comforting, like the way the outdoors would look after a tranquil moment of snow falling. The chilliness of the air stung his eyes, making him having to squint in order to see the road before him. Without another glance, he began to step forward. His heart was pounding, knocking at his ribcage and his breathing uneven and loud. His hands were slightly trembling when he brought them up to his face, buzzing like he had just inhaled gallons of caffeine. For most of his life, he was always the predator, the alpha or the king, but now he was the very opposite. There was never a time in his life where he had felt so small and alone. The feeling was unknown, and he did not know what it would be called, but it was very distasteful and strong. His stomach was hollow then filled with deep melancholy. There was no going back, and he did not really regret it much to his surprise. As his feet shuffled noisily against the uneven pavement, he had to reassure himself that everything was only temporary.

And just like the mood he was having, it would go away.

---

Eren had woken up screaming and drenched in a puddle of sweat. He felt oddly warm, the kind of warmth that left oneself hot but cool at the fingertips. He gasped for air and slapped a hand over his chest to feel his heart beating so quickly that it might jump right out of his body. He used his hands to push himself into a sitting position, only to remember that his leg had been injured and immediately winced with overwhelming pain. The sky outside was getting darker, leaving a seed of fear in his heart. He leaned forward to tap on Levi's shoulder, only to find that he was not present.

He started to panic; he was alone in the dark with a serious injury in the middle of nowhere and he didn't know what to do. When he sat back, a tiny slip of paper fell out of the jacket he didn't remember putting on. Curious, he unfolded it and read it slowly and felt his heart sank as his eyes went over the badly written letter L at the bottom. He shook his head furiously and read it another twenty times before breaking down into a fit of frustration. He crumpled the note in his fist and covered his face with his hands angrily and attempted to calm himself down by using breathing exercises. His breath caught in his throat as he replayed his last moment with Levi in his head. He thought that perhaps Levi wanted him to sleep so that he wouldn't be able to stop him when he left. It had never occurred to him.

The world around him was silent and frightful.

He couldn't quite believe that Levi only left a few sentences on his note after everything they've been through; not like he was expecting something sappy, but he wanted to know more. Like what was going to happen and why. The feeling of disappointment settled on his shoulders like dense dust. His face was warm with sadness as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Although Levi kidnapped him, hurt him and treated him badly at first, he never felt so betrayed by someone in his life before. It was quite upsetting and unsettling, and he hated the fact that his heart was thinking that Levi would stay. Of course he wouldn't, he thought to himself angrily. No one ever stays.

He blew hard into his hands with nothing but anguish on his mind. Eren had girlfriends in the past, but none of his breakup's had ever made him feel as sorrowful as being alone in an old car with no one with him to keep him company. He hated himself for thinking that Levi wouldn't do such a thing, and suddenly he regretted growing close with the stranger. He thought that Levi was like a flock of birds; wonderful, but gone so soon. Levi was like serene and jubilant evening nights or first kisses. What they all had in common was that they gave oneself a shot of adrenaline, only to disappear so early. Eren's head pounded as he pondered at the thoughts going through his head, but all he could think was of him.

If anyone knew about their story, of how they met and bonded, they would think Eren was crazy for trusting such a man. As he blinked at the darkness the anger he was feeling was now toward himself. Eren was supposed to be highly intelligent. He was an honour roll student and had a GPA of 4.0, but he caught himself in a trap and found himself infatuated with someone so mysterious yet poisonous. Because after all, living organisms always seemed to be attracted to the more colourful plants, the one that could kill you.

As anger and sorrow whirled inside his heart, he was now empty. There was no use to worry about someone who was surely going to abandon him, because who fell for their captors? This was not some tale of beauty and the beast, this was reality and in reality all things were dreadfully grotesque and unloving. His life was not a fairytale, his life was a case of horrific events that would scar him mentally for a lifetime. With a shout of ill enmity, he slapped his two hands to his head and tugged furiously at his hair, as if he could weed out all of the problems in his life by doing something so painful. Armin and Mikasa and a handful of other cherished friends had always teased him that his one weakness was that he was too open, he was a book spread on its spine for all to read; he was welcoming and kind. Sure, it worked in his favour to save his own life, but not his heart. He truly felt that he was heartbroken, despite not being quite in love with Levi. It hurt a lot, his throat was extremely arid and his eyes stinging from tears threating to fall if he did not pull it together. He had trusted too much, and he would rather much fling himself off into the void than too feel this way ever again.

All of his inner demons and darkness embraced him tightly and coldly like a thick blanket, trapping him and leaving him nowhere to escape. He was experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions and for his age it made him feel like the pathetic high school student he used to be. Maybe if he hadn't given Levi that money the day they first met, he would have died. If he ended up dying in the streets with nothing but the harsh cold sending him off to the other side, there was the possibility that Eren wouldn't be there. If Eren wasn't kidnapped, everything would be almost too perfect; he would be home cramming for another exam and expecting nothing too weird to happen like usual. He wouldn't be hurt, he would be safe.

His head nearly bumped up against the ceiling of the car when he flinched at the sound of something hard tapped lightly against the window next to him. Through slanted eyes, he looke through to see who it could be. It could be anyone, be it a creepy pervert or a monster, he was not afraid. Deep down he was half- hoping it would be Levi.

It was not.

"Sir, I need you to open the door," a muffled voice called out. It was full of authority, a tone of voice that Eren had grown afraid of. "This is the police."

With hesitation and anxiety questioning his next move, he opened the door anyway. It swung fast and moaned with a rusty creak. Looking down at him with a flashlight pointing at his eyes was a police officer with an expression of relief on his face. It started raining, and it created eerie little shadows against the glass panes, flickering and dancing across the officer's face.

The powerful lumicent glow of the flashlight flashed and blinded Eren's eyes, but even when he closed his eyes he would see nothing but pearl white and hear nothing but the piercing shouts of unknown men. Every inch of his body was numb, and there was no pain anymore.

He could feel nothing.

---

AN:

part one is finished!

i'm not certain if i said this already but this fic will be split into two parts bc i didn't like the path it was going, and bc i don't want this fic to be a copy of the i found mv;;; i'm very excited to start writing part 2!