I'm losing my mind.

"Aws? Aws!" Startled, Awsten blinked and smiled up at his band mate. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just tired." Awsten faked a yawn and smiled weakly in an attempt to convince the brunette. "Ok, if you say so. I'm not surprised, to be honest, you haven't had much sleep lately."

Awsten raised an eyebrow. "And you would know this, how?"

"You scream when you have nightmares. You probably don't remember, but I...nevermind. It doesn't matter." He trailed off. "It does matter, what do you do?"

"Nothing just try get some sleep tonight. Don't do anything that will give you nightmares." Awsten nodded.

Screaming...bleeding...burning... soothing voices.

I'm losing my mind.

"Yo I got food." Otto yelled as he entered the bus. "Awesome! We wondered where you'd gone." Geoff looked away from Awsten and grabbed the bag from his friend.

"Awsten, food." Geoff snapped his fingers in front of the singer's face. "Hmm? Oh, right, food. Thanks dude." There was something off about Awsten, there was a far away look in his eyes like he was never really there.

Geoff frowned. Something was wrong. "Can I talk to you outside?" Geoff asked Awsten. "Yeah sure." The boy put his food down and stood up, following Geoff into the bunk area. "Ok what's going on?" The brunette asked once they were out of earshot.

Scratches...tears...kisses.

"Nothing, I'm totally fine. Just some bad dreams."

I'm losing my mind.

"Bullshit." Geoff snorted. "How are they just bad dreams Aws?" He asked, voice a bit softer. "You wake up screaming and crying! I have to..."

"You have to what, Geoff? What do you have to do?"

Geoff sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know what I do because you're always awake!"

"I'm conscious, I'm aware but I'm not awake. I don't remember...everything." Awsten said softly. Geoff fixed him with a questioning look. "What do you remember?"

Shaking...hurting...comforting...helping.

I'm losing my mind.

"I remember bits and pieces. I remember little bits, certain things like crying or screaming or blood. It's not much." The purple haired boy look down at his shoes. They had a bit of dirt on them. Probably from the stage, they're not always the cleanest places.

"Do you remember anything else?" Geoff pressed. He desperately wanted to know if Awsten remembered one thing. One specific thing.

"I remember feeling like I'm losing my mind."

I'm losing my mind.

"I remember pain."

I'm losing my mind.

One hand shot up and hit the side of Awsten's head, repeatedly smashing into his temple. Geoff was calm as he grabbed Awsten's hands and held them in his hands away from his face. He was used to restraining Awsten, the nights Geoff had spent trying to stop him from damaging himself.

Hitting...hurting...holding...him.

Slowly Awsten started to calm down but Geoff didn't let go. Instead he led them over to Awsten's bunk, opposite his own, and sat them down. Once they were seated Geoff relaxed his grip. Awsten didn't move.

"Only if you feeling up to it, tell me about your dreams if you can remember them."

Awsten laughed a dry laugh. "That's one of the only things I can remember." Geoff nodded. "Are you ok with telling me?" The younger exhaled then gave a slow, short nod.

"Yeah. Ok, it's...uh it's a little hard to explain but I'll try. So it starts off where we're on stage and we've just finished a show. We finish with TANTRUM and then leave and you and Otto head back to the green room where Jawn and Travis are but I head outside to get some fresh air before the meet and greet because my head's killing me from lack of water and heat from the concert." Awsten started, closing his eyes.

Sweaty...tired...cold...windy.

"Then there's wind. A lot of wind and it's dark. Dark and cold but it's not just me. There's someone else but I can't see them. I  can't see them but I feel it. They...They pour something on me and it burns and it itches."

"Hey, hey you don't have to carry on." Geoff said, sensing his friends distress. "No, I want to. I have to or I'll never tell anyone and you need to know. It's burning and I'm trying to escape my own skin. I'm crawling in my skin and the wounds won't heal. It's like acid, Gee, but worse. I'm screaming but no one can hear me." A tear trickled down his cheek.

"I'm all alone Geoff and I feel like I'm going to die there but just before I wake up someone's there. Always someone there and they stay with me and calm me down and hold me, making sure I'm ok. I never know who they are."

Relaxing...helping...beautiful...blue.

Awsten opened his eyes and studied Geoff's. "Blue." He whispered. "What?" Geoff asked. "The way they hurt me is always different but it's always the same person and it's the same eyes. The same blue eyes. But then I wake up and I'm freaked out because my arms still burn, my head still hurts and the eyes are still there."

Bleeding...warm...warm...Geoff.

I'm losing my mind.

Finally Awsten let go of Geoff's hands and leaned back against his pillow. The brunette frowned at the loss of contact but was too worried about his friend to be that bothered by it.

"What happens when I wake up?" Awsten asked. "Well I hear you screaming, leave my bunk and easily climb into yours. You don't normally realise I'm there until I talk to you and try to calm you down and then you relax when I hold you. Usually you fall asleep after I stroke your hair." Geoff replied. Awsten nodded and hummed. "Have you ever kissed me?"

"Uh yeah. Just like on your forehead to calm you down." Geoff said with a blush.

"Have you ever kissed me properly?" Geoff shook his head. "No. I would never do that without your consent."

"Without my consent? So you've thought about it?" The singer enquired, smirking. Geoff laughed nervously. "Yeah. Yes, I have."

"Here's your consent." Without warning Awsten leant forwards and smashed his lips against Geoff's. His response was a little slow due to the sudden shock and the only thoughts running through his head were, 'Holy shit this is happening.'

In a matter of seconds, the brunette had composed himself and soon found himself kissing back. One hand went around the back of Awsten's head, threading his fingers through the purple locks. The other hand went around his waist, pulling him onto his lap in order to deepen the kiss. Both of Awsten's hands went around Geoff's neck, gladly letting Geoff explore his mouth with his tongue.

"It's you." Awsten mumbled, pulling away from the liplock. "In my dreams it's always you. You always save me. You're always there."

"How do you know?" Geoff asked, furrowing his brow.

"Blue. The eyes in my dreams are the same as the ones I wake up to. It's your eyes. I could never forget your eyes."

Safe...warm...loved...happy.

You keep me sane.