Tw: very graphic imagery which some viewers may find offensive.

White. All around him. Surrounding him, enveloping his senses and invading his darkest thoughts.

It was an interesting colour. One that held many different connotations and interpretations. It could symbolise cleanliness, purity, innocence and truth; or it could symbolise insanity, death and pain. It hurt to look at and could drive the most mentally stable insane.

If you were locked in an all white room for months how else would you react? There's nothing. No escape, no human contact. Just empty space and white.

-

The bare bulb flickered one final time before letting go. The young man always remembered that was how the day started. It was forever lodged in his brain as the day the white went away. There were no windows, just a door with no handle on the inside.

Everyday the door would open wide enough to push through a plate and bowl. There was no bed in the room, no mattress or blankets. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this, it wasn't his fault the voices were too loud.

By the end of the day he would've drunk the water and eaten a single slice of bread, everything else remained untouched.

Except for that day. It was a Monday. The blue haired boy remembered this because it was the day a person arrived. The day one man walked inside his cage and sat on the floor across from him. It was pitch black. The dead bulb hung like a corpse from the ceiling.

It was the day the white went away and a man joined him in the darkness. They cleared their throat loudly, the harsh sound reverberated around the room and made Awsten's ears hurt.

"Monday, sixteenth July twenty eighteen. Patient: Knight, Awsten." They spoke suddenly. Their voice was higher than Awsten expected. It sounded nice, not like the sound they made earlier. When they spoke Awsten was reminded of home. When he saw people and had friends. Friends. He had a friend.

Otto Wood.

"They're like brothers," their Mom's would say. "Completely inseparable." Others would agree. Awsten wondered where Otto was now.

It's dark in here. Where's the white gone?

"Shut up." Awsten whispered.

I miss the red.

"Fuck off." He kept his voice low and quiet.

White light shone on white paper in front of the dark figure. There was a shuffling of papers and sniffles before they spoke again. "Tell me Mr Knight, why are you here?"

Awsten remained silent. He stayed on the floor, legs crossed underneath him with a blank expression plastered across his face. The figure sighed and shone his phone light on Awsten's pale features. He didn't flinch.

The blue haired man had spent many days staring at the singular light source in an attempt to cure his boredom - which only resulted in his eyes becoming accustomed to harsh lights. However they were not used to these conditions and the darkness was giving him a headache.

"There needs to be more light in here. How long has it been broken for?" More silence. They sighed which pissed Awsten off. Why was he sighing? What could possibly be frustrating him?

The light moved and faded into the black space. He could vaguely see the figure stand up and walk towards the door. He knocked once, once more and then twice in quick succession. An easy pattern to remember, one that stored itself in a small space of your brain.

The door opened outside the room, letting light flood through. Now Awsten could see them properly and his dual toned eyes widened. The figure was quite tall and slim. Long fingers, calloused and rough which added character to this strange human with luscious brown hair and the clearest blue eyes which held a variety of emotions. His plump lips curved upwards as more beautiful sounding words poured out of his mouth.

"...he also needs a new light bulb and a mattress and a blanket at least. These conditions are horrible! Even criminals deserve some level of comfort."

Criminals? Why was he a criminal? Awsten looked down at his shaking hands. Flashes of red and gut wrenching screams filled his head.

His hands flew to his face, clutching it as his body shook violently; loud sobs forced their way out and into the darkness as it consumed him.

-

Five heavily protected men marched in and stood in a circle around the unconscious boy on the floor. Geoff could only watch in sadness as his eyes as they picked him up, as if he only weighed ten pounds, and carried him out of the room.

The shit he saw daily was sometimes unbearable. He became a physciatrist to help people like Awsten. People who had done unspeakable things and try to find out why.

Yet Geoff saw something in Awsten. Something in those heterochromic eyes wasn't quite right. There was something much darker and much deeper than Geoff had ever seen.

All he wanted was to help. He cared so much and always put others first. Taking one last look around the room he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. It physically broke his heart to see the pain some of his patients went through.

The brunette put his head in his hands and tried to hold back the tears.

"Geoff?" He looked up at the quiet, feminine voice. Grace Rountree stood with a concerned and yet understanding look. "You doing ok?"

Geoff wanted to smile and nod but he couldn't lie to her, not to one of his best friends. Instead he shook his head and willingly let her enfold him in her arms.

"I don't know how I manage to do this everyday." He cried, letting the tears flow. "I just see their story in their eyes and it hurts because I can't help everyone. I just want to help them Grace."

"I know honey, I know." She stroked his hair lovingly and hugged him tightly. She hated seeing him like this. He was always such a ball of happiness and sunshine and it was only in times like these when he truly broke.

"Ugh I should I check on him and make sure he's ok." He said after a while, stepping back from the hug.

Grace furrowed her brows. "Are you sure? I can take over if it's too much for you."

"No, I want to do this. I actually think I can help him and I will try my hardest to make sure I do."

-

Red. It dripped from the white ceilings and down the white walls. It physically glowed through. There would always be white. His blue hair was matter with dried blood. It stained his skin and ran down his face. The maddened look in his eyes grew manic to match his manic laugh.

The scene in front of him was gruesome to outsiders but looked beautiful and calming to him. Limbs lay scattered around their original bodies, unattached and oozing blood. It leaked from the orifices of the pile of decaying carcasses in the corner. Crimson rained from the organs above and collected in puddles around his feet.

His eyes landed on a girl, blonde hair fanning out around her hair like a halo - but she was far from an angel. Somehow she was still alive but unable to move. Three bodies crushed her legs, trapping her.

Only whispers were let out. Awsten walked closer and towered over her. The laugh stopped but the smile remained. He crouched down and placed a bloody hand on her heaving chest.

"We need to talk." His voice was low and menacing. "I really thought you were my four leaf clover. Your dumb drunk friends don't care for me and I always told you so." He snorted and pushed down on her chest.

"Why?" She managed to gasp out, her breath rattled in her chest. Awsten's grin widened.

"Fuck you."

More pressure was applied with all the anger and pent up frustration he had kept inside, until the blueberry man could feel the bones of her ribcage crack. They smashed and punctured through her skin, piercing her heart the way she had pierced his with her actions.

His hand disappeared inside her chest and closer around the still beating organ. He pulled it out, a triumphant grin on his face.

"Perfect." Her eyes glazed over and rolled backwards into her head. She just stopped. "Goodbye Ciara."

-

He woke up to red. It was all around him except there was no white. Every time he closed his eyes the horrors were back; the horrors he'd managed to forget.

The closing of a door broke his train of thought. Quickly, the younger man wiped his eyes and sniffled. "Mr Knight, it's nice to see you're awake again."

He came back. Awsten swivelled round and stood up as the brunette closed the door. "Lets start again. My name is Dr Wigington but you can call me Geoff. Now as to wh-"

"I'm sorry." Interrupted Awsten. "I'm sorry I hurt them, I'm sorry I killed them and I'm sorry I forgot." The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Ok, we need to talk." Two chairs were stacked in the corner which Geoff moved so they could both take a seat.

They both sat down, still in silence. Awsten looked through a brightly lit hole in the red wall, half covered by a stiff white cloth. A window. There were people outside. Actual people.

"You forgot?" Dr Wigington asked. He sat with one leg crossed over the other and clasped his hands together around his knee. It took a while for Awsten to respond as he was too busy engrossed in the sight of real people and not the ones that lived in the corners of his room.

"Yeah, I forgot." His gaze shifted down to his feet. "I don't want to remember the red because sometimes it's all I see. It drips down from the white and makes it dirty. They're dead but I constantly hear them in my head."

"What are they saying?" Dr Wigington shifted forwards and, to no avail, attempted to make eye contact with the smurf man. "They're screaming. There's no words. Just screaming. Sometimes crying but sometimes there's a little girl."

"And what is she saying?" The brunette pressed.

"She's asking for her Mom and I hate it because I can't help her."

Awsten's breathing hitched as he spoke. "I can't help her because I know where her Mom is and I can't show her. I can't do that to her."

"What do you mean?" Awsten was getting sick of the questions. "Because she's fucking dead! She's somewhere behind me, covered in blood without a face."

Dr Wigington nodded slowly and sat back. "Do you know why you're here?"

"No."

"You're having some adjustments to your room. The light will be fixed and you're getting a mattress." The blue haired man looked into blue eyes and shook his head.

"No. No. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it."

"You've made mistakes Mr Knight but you shouldn't be sleeping on the floor." Dr Wigington said. "I've made more than mistakes. I've killed people Dr Wigington-"

"Geoff."

"-Dr Wigington. I don't deserve it. They're telling me I don't. They're telling me it's my fault." Awsten's voice trailed off.

"What else are they saying?"

Awsten's eyes slowly closed as he let the darkness envelop his thoughts and the voices came out to play. Through the darkness he saw two colours: Red and white.

Do it. His hand twitched. Throw the first punch and let the blood flow.

He opened his eyes. "They can't stop seeing red."

Crimson flooded his vision. The feeling and sound of bones breaking beneath his fists and warm liquid running over his skin was all that he could sense. Geoff's body had gone limp but Awsten didn't stop until his skull had been smashed in and there was no more blood left to bleed.

The anger faded. Awsten was left with blood stained hands and a pale skinned corpse. Geoff's face was frozen in fear, a scream halfway out of his mouth.

Breathing heavily he looked around the room, his shadow in the dim light casting a menacing stance. His eyes landed on the magnolia white curtains hanging by the window. His lips curved into a smile. It felt soft in his hands as he tugged it down and proceeded to straighten it out.

Eventually he managed to straighten out the creases and covered the taller man with it. Everything but the eyes. Those clear blue eyes that held so many emotions. Pain, understanding and love. Emotions Awsten wasn't familiar with but could potentially have learned to love.

Striding over to the door, Awsten knocked once, once more and then twice in quick succession. It opened and Awsten stepped through, arms held out in front of him, ready for the metal bars.

All Geoff wanted was to help and love but all he was rewarded with was eternal darkness.

He left behind the red, he left behind the pain and walked straight into the white and the madness.

Oof. Also, Geoff is the literal sun.

Hope you enjoyed!!! It took a LONG time lmao xox