2012 © M.Khassal

IMPORTANT!

PLEASE READ THE END OF THIS CHAPTER

I Faked that smile

Finale

Chapter 24

Flash back

It's been Three years now since we moved now and although it was very nerve racking at the beginning. I can honestly say its been worth it. Life as a whole has been truly amazing. We are actually living life as a normal happy everyday family now. If I was to be honest, I have never ever been this happy in my entire life. Well except the fact, that Damon and I miss Lee Cherelle and little Ross like crazy. If they where here with us now. Our lives would be in no doubt the perfect fairy tale.

I can even walk now with the aid of my canes. Not properly but enough so I could ditch my chair. However, it didn't come easy to say the least. It's been hard, very hard. I even went through stages suffering with major depression. Nevertheless, Damon was always there to pull me through it. One way or another. Know matter how bad I got he never gave up on me. Believe me there were days where I would lock myself in the bedroom. Where I would just break down and cry the whole day. I tried fighting it off. but it was as if I had no control over my own emotions.

The doctor had told Damon and me that he wasn't surprised that I was like this. That with my history and everything, I've been through. How I haven't broken before now shocked him. Nevertheless, that didn't make me feel any better. I understood everything he was saying. Damn I even knew he was more than likely right. However, It was just so frustrating not been able to have a hold on my own emotions. I used to dread waking up some mornings not knowing how I was going to be feeling. Nevertheless, I have been doing great this last year or so. Which, I have to say I'm so glad to be over it.

Present day

Today is Destiny's first day at school. Destiny is so excited that she has been dressed and ready to leave since seven this morning. Where usually she wouldn't even be up and out of bed before nine. Laughing Damon and I watched as she paced impatiently up and down the hallway. "Father can we go now?" she asked whining for like the hundredth time. "Destiny why don't you go and watch some TV until we have to go." Damon tried again. It was so funny because where Destiny was such a daddy's girl. She had not stopped whining all morning.

He has even tried every bribe possible. He was so desperate to stop her whining that he even tried offering to take her to mall after school. Usually Destiny would jump at the chance to go to the mall. However, today she wasn't having any of it. Giving up listening to the two of them I decided to cut in. "Ok everyone let's go and have breakfast at Mc Donald's." Seeing her eyes light up and a big smile appearing on her face I knew I'd won. Giving Damon a cocky smirk. He just looked at me amazed. Laughing I pulled my coat on. "Damon can you get Lee strapped in please." I asked. "Yes." he shouted running towards Lee. I couldn't help but laugh at the relief look that crossed his face. Destiny was now waiting by the front door bouncing from foot to foot. "Come on sweetie lets go." I said as I opened the door. She ran out to the car with the biggest smile on her face. Seeing her this happy made me so happy. I never thought I would ever get to be this happy, I thought to myself.

Pulling up outside Destiny's school It suddenly hit me. My baby was growing up. Feeling my eyes watering up, I quickly dried them not wanting Destiny to see me. As I know, It would have upset her. Swallowing the big lump that had formed in my throat, I took in a deep breath hoping it would calm me down.

Damon was the first to step out of the car followed by an overexcited Destiny. Damon looked over at me worry clear on his face. "Do you want me to go in with her?" he asked quietly. So Destiny wouldn't be able hear. I looked between the two for a minute and knowing I wasn't going to be able to hold my emotions back. "No babes, I think its best if I just stay here with Lee." I replied.

I really wanted to go in with her. Nevertheless, I knew In my heart that I was going to cry. Moreover, the last thing I wanted was for Destiny to see me crying. Bless her; she wouldn't understand I was only crying due to her growing up. How could I explain that to my four-year-old daughter, I asked myself?

Destiny grabbed hold of Damon's hand and started pulling on it to hurry him up. Giving me a knowing look Damon leaned in and kissed me. "We can always have more." He said with a wink. Rolling my eyes, I just shooed him away. "Destiny come here hunny." I called her. She left out a loud frustrated sigh before turning back to me. "Be good, and remember to use your manners and do what the teacher tells you." I told her using my motherly tone. "Yes mother can I go now please." She pleaded. "I love you sweetheart and I'll miss you." I said. As my eyes started to water up. "Love you too mother." She replied giving me a quick peck on the cheek. "Love you Lee." She shouted back to her brother. She took hold of Damon's hand again and started pulling on it.

Once we got home, Damon had to go to work. I put Lee down for his nap and then sat and watched some TV. However, within ten minutes I started to get bored. As there was nothing on TV and I had no Destiny running around. Picking up my phone, I began scrolling through my contacts list. I only had about ten people added to my contacts and two of them were Lee's and Cherelle's. My index finger hovered between Cherelle's name and the call button. Looking at the time on my cell, I knew she would more than likely be up now. This stopped me. As I knew, it was way to risky right to call her now. Leaving out a heavy sigh, I went into the kitchen and made myself a cuppa.

I tried keeping myself occupied all day but believe me it was hard. With Destiny and Damon both, away the house felt empty. Well until Lee woke up that was. He was such a quite boy. If you were to walk into my house, you would not believe that there was a two year old here. Lee loved his cars and would play happily for hours on end. His favourite being the police car that Damon had bought him. He was already following his father's footsteps, and I was already starting to worry.

Damon and Destiny came running into the house screaming. My heartbeat increased alarmingly as I began to panic. Grabbing my canes, I started to walk as fast as I could towards the kitchen. Anxiously I began to open the door. "I won." I heard Destiny screaming and laughing at the same time. Feeling the relief rushing through my tensed body, I put on my old fake smile. "Oh Destiny, you look such a big girl now. How was your first day at school?" I asked. I was dying to know everything. Did she enjoy it? Did she make new friends?

The whole evening was spent on Destiny going on and on about school. Moreover, all the new friends she had made. However, you couldn't stop her because she was just so excited and happy it was funny.

The week seemed to fly by. We were leaving today to go on our family vacation for weekend. I was feeling so excited. Damon and I had made ourselves a promise that we would live our lives to the fullest. Which we definitely do, every weekend Damon has off we head up to the mountains where we had bought a little log cabin. It was so beautiful up there but it wasn't liveable for all year round. Other wise we would have moved up here long ago.

As when it snows up there, it gets so bad, that it leaves no way in or out of the mountain. However, we always double-checked the weather before going up there. Just to be on the safe side.

The log cabin was surrounded by trees and bushes and just a little walk away was the most beautiful lake you would ever see. In the summer, we spend a lot of time here. We also have many picnics'. Damon and Destiny swims a lot. I do go in the lake as well but only when the two little ones are asleep. As I still need Damon's help for some things.

Then I started to think, how nice it would be if Lee Cherelle and Ross were here with us. I could just picture it now Ross playing with Destiny. Lee and Damon acting like a pair of teenagers and Me having my big sis back. God I miss them so much. "Sheena are you ok love?" Damon asked taking me away from my thoughts. "Yeah, I'm just thinking hunny." I replied. "About what?" he pressed on. "What it would be like if Cherelle Lee and Ross where here with us." I told him honestly. Hearing him sigh loudly I new I had started him thinking now. "Sheena, I no you miss them, damn I miss them so much too baby. If they where here it would make our lives all the more perfect. However, we did make this decision on looking out for them too baby. The day I agreed to all of this was the hardest decision I had ever had to make in my entire life. Nevertheless, I don't regret my decision I made one single bit. Yes, I miss my family and yes, I pine for our friends but baby they are safe now. We have everything we ever wanted and most of all we are happy aren't we?" He asked looking at me worriedly. "Oh baby I have never been happier in my whole entire life. Damon I didn't mean anything by saying I'm missing them. I love you and to be honest I love where we live. I was just saying it would be just amazing if we could of kept in touch with our friends too." I explained.

"Sheena you do know that would have put, both of them and us in danger. I couldn't risk that Sheena. I just couldn't let you go through anymore. Sheena when I first met you it killed me to see what you where going through. Hell Sheena, it still breaks my heart now. When I think about what you had to go through. It still haunts me to this day, the way you sat on my lap at the train station and cried your little heart out. I know its hard baby but think about it. We have everything else we had always hoped and longed for." He said giving me a smile. I could see the unshed tears in his eyes. Leaning over I kissed him while wiping the stray tears from his eyes. "Thank you. Damon your right!" I whispered. "For what?" he asked. "For loving me and giving up so much for me." He held up his hand cutting me off. "Sheena I'm your husband and until deaths do us part. I will always love you. Sheena I worship the ground you walk on. You are my everything and without you I am nothing." He said with so much love my heart melted. "I love you too." I said feeling my whole body tingling.

God thank you so much for giving me Damon. You have truly blessed me. Moreover, my past was definitely worth all the pain and suffering as to be here where I am today. I prayed silently up to the heavens above knowing in my heart there must be a god. Because if there weren't there would be no way on earth, I would be here now. I'm happy loved and have two of the most amazing children ever. My smile is not my fake or faked one anymore. ~No this is my new happy smile. One that when I look at my reflection in the mirror it astounds me.

I'm Sheena Marz and I love my life!

~The end~

I would just like to thank each and every one of you that has supported me! I want you all to know that having your support and comments have encouraged as well as strengthened my writing abilities. Throughout this series, I have made many new friends and I have to say for that I am truly grateful.

All my love Mel x