Hey my lovely’s :)

I just want to say, Thank you all so much for reading and supporting me on this story. I really appreciate every single one of you, as without all of you I would be one very lonely writer lol

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<3 Mel x

Thought this Song at the side just makes it perfect  :)

Chapter Thirty-Two

On my return, I handed the specimen over to the doctor. The tension in the room was holding a mixture of excitement and something else, that I just couldn’t place. Sitting myself back down into my chair, I waited anxiously. Every second felt like an hour, as we waited for the white stick to give us our results. I had never felt so nervous in my entire life, even with every thing I had been through over the years, had nothing on the way I was feeling now. I was so scared, scared of leaving Damon down, scared for myself, as I wasn’t sure how I was going to react, if I wasn’t pregnant.

So deep within my own thoughts, I had not even realised that the doctor had spoken until I seen Damon leaping into the air. Looking up feeling lost and unsure, I watched as Damon just kept fist pumping into the air. Turning around his eyes locked with mine, I just sat there numb, as I was still too frightened to believe, as I hadn’t heard it from the doctor’s mouth.

Seeing the doctor’s mouth move but not hearing his words had me panicking. I tried to focus on his lips, as I tried to make out what he was saying. I felt cold-water splash against my face before Damon kneeled down in front of me. He just stared at me for a while before he spoke, “Sheena, we are having a baby,” he said with so much excitement in his voice, I wanted to laugh. It was like my brain was responding but the rest of me wasn’t, it was strange yet scary.  I didn’t have a clue what was happening to me however, by the look on the doctor’s face I knew he did.

The doctor walked out of the room leaving Damon and I alone. It was like I was not in my body anymore, it was as if I had left my body and was watching Damon and me from the outside. I began to panic as I started to scream, but nothing was coming out. Watching on as Damon began to shake my body, I could not feel anything, even though I could see him shaking me. Feeling a slight stinging in my arm, I fell into a welcoming blackness.

Wakening up, I seen Damon and the doctor talking, it looked like they where having a very intensive conversation. Blinking a couple of times, I managed to clear the blurriness from my eyes, before gazing back over at the doctor and Damon. I cleared my throat making both there heads snap round in my direction. They stared at me for a while before they both stood up, they walked over to me so cautiously, they made me feel like I was a dangerous animal, about to attack them.

Damon was first by my side, “Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked, in such a small voice. It was as he was scared in case he would break me. “I’m fine” I replied feeling irritated by the way they were acting. “Doc she’s fine,” Damon, told him while leaving out a big breath. “Yes I’m fine, but what is wrong with you two?” I asked as the anger started to boil up inside me. Damon looked towards the doctor then back to me, before returning his stare back at the doctor. I was just about to scream at them when Damon decided to speak up. “Sheena, when the doctor told you the results you kind of spaced out , it was like you where here but not if you get me” he told me, his face scrunched up, as he seemed to be as confused as I was. “I know Damon I felt it” I replied softly, as everything came back to me.

 “Doctor, Hmm, am I?” I asked. He gave me such a big bright happy smile, that his words didn’t matter at all, as his expression told me all. Shifting my eyes back over at Damon I seen his smile was a mirror reflection of the doctors. I began to cry as I felt all the tension and worry leave my body leaving me feeling the happiest person in the world, well along with these two silly men, I told myself.

After about an hour, we were good to go, although I was told that I had to take a few days of work, just so my body can recover from the medication they gave me. I was mad in away that they injected me, but after hearing that they had to for the health of my baby made me happy. As they were looking out for our unborn baby already, I knew from this day on I will have full thrust in this doctor.

I didn’t go back to work and Damon was on nights this week so we decided to go for a walk in the park. As we walked alongside the playground section, I  stopped and stared at the children playing happily, while the parents stood to the side chatting. Thinking that will be me one day not long from now, had me bubbling with excitement.

Even If a bomb went of right now, I don’t even think it would bother me, as I was too happy.  Locking eyes with my one and only, I could see he was feeling the same.

We walked hand in hand along the parks pathway, just talking and laughing. It felt so good to able to feel like a normal couple, I felt so relaxed it was unreal.

 We got a phone call from Alisha telling us that she had dinner ready, so we were now on our way home. Alisha loves to cook and to be honest I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about me being pregnant. However my excitement was quickly replaced as flash backs of the day we were driving to tell Alisha the last time. Fear started to sweep through my body in an alarming rate, making sure I kept myself fully alert; I kept my eyes wide open, making sure that I watched out for anything out of the ordinary. I could not stop the feelings that were swirling around inside my head, as this time; there is no way on earth that I will give anyone the chance to harm my baby.

As we pulled into our driveway, I started scanning everywhere, just then Damon opened my door making me jump out of my seat. ”wow calm down baby” Damon said as he started to study me more closely. Not being able to find my voice I just jumped out of the car, leaping up I clenched hold of him and wrapped my legs around his waist. The whole time, I made sure to keep an eye out for anything strange, Damon was starting to freak out with worry. However, I just needed to make it into the house where I knew I would be safe.

Hours had passed and I was slowly getting back to my normal self. Alisha was ecstatic with the news, and Cherelle and Lee even came round to congratulate us. It had been a great night and even though I was a little on edge. Damon kept giving me questioning looks all night, which I just dismissed, as I knew that if he knew what I was really thinking about, it would crush him. Seeing him this happy and excited was something that I could never take away from him.

As I started thinking about it, I  realised, I have not only taken him from his childhood home, but I have also taken him away from everything he has ever known and loved. My heart sunk as I thought of all the hurt and loss that I have caused him, since we met.

Damon placed his arm around my waist and twirled me around cuddling me in to his chest. “You have been very distant since we left the park, Sheena. I don’t know what is wrong, but please tell me, as my mind is going insane with worry,” He pleaded. Racking my brain, as I tried to come up with some excuse, was a lot harder than I thought. “I was just thinking that’s all” I replied, hoping he would not push for more, as the last thing I wanted was to have to lie to him. “Sheena” he called, but only more sternly this time. Knowing he was not going to let it go, I decided to tell him the truth.

I told him about the flash backs the fear everything. His face paled and all his happiness that he held, disappeared the second I told him, making me wish that I could take every thing I had told him back. I began to mentally shout at myself for being so stupid and selfish, why I could not have just made something up, that would have been more believable. For the first time ever I wished I lied to him, as it would have been so much better, than seeing him like this.

“Damon please say something” I pleaded. Grabbing hold of my hand, he picked up his keys and led me towards his car. I kept my mouth shut as I could see he was on one of his missions. As he closed my car door, he ran over towards the garage and picked up a big box. I watched him as he placed the box into the back of the car, after strapping, himself in he started to pull out of the drive. Feeling confused and lost, I wanted so badly to just ask what he was doing or even where we were going. Nevertheless, seeing the expression he held, I thought it would be wiser of me to wait for him to speak.

The drive was long, turning the corner I started to feel a little relief, as I now knew where I was and where we were more than likely going. We were on the road towards our new house, I knew all the paper work had been signed over and we were scheduled to move in next week. Then I started to think on why he had brought me all the way out here and what the hell is in that box. Feeling a headache coming on, I closed my eyes as I tried to clear my head. The car came to a stop; it was so dark that you could not see anything, well except the light that shone down from the full moon.

Without saying a word, Damon got out of the car and went around to the boot.  Opening it up he took out the big box, before he came and opened up my door. Climbing out and seeing the small smile on Damon’s face made me smile, even though it didn’t reach his eyes. We walked hand in hand over towards a big oak tree that was right beside a little pond. “Wait here love” he said and then made his way back to the car. I sat on the cold damp grass and stared into the pond. The reflection of the moon making the water sparkle, It was beautiful. Hearing a stick break behind me, made me snap my head round. Damon was now standing behind me with the box in hand. He looked so nervous, but I could see a glimpse of what looked like hope in his eyes. I felt anxious as he unwrapped the box, he was breaking through the last bit of tape. As he pulled it out I sat there numb, surprised, shocked, and overwhelmed. He handed me a wooden name plaque, which read,

In the loving memory of our first and most precious baby

Even though we never got the chance to get to know you,

As you were wrongfully taken away from us

We never got to show you our love

But we need you to know, that every second of every day you are with us. In our thoughts, our hearts and in our souls

 We will never ever forget you baby

We want you to know we will always love you and miss you dearly

 All our Love

 Mummy and Daddy xx

My heart tightened so much against my chest as I cried; Damon sat down and lifted me onto his lap, as we both mourned for our loss. I could not believe that Damon had done this for us, it was perfect.  It was like we could actually say our goodbyes, although it broke my heart, it was what I needed. I needed to be able to say my own special and personal goodbye.

Hanging the plaque up on the old oak tree, put a smile on my face, as knowing that we have our own special place for our baby now. Damon reached down into the box and took out a little teddy, that he hung off the plaque as well. Standing there with our arms wrapped around each other, our eyes locked. For the first time, the heavy ache I have been carrying around in my heart had gone, I felt light, happy almost complete again. Kissing my hand I placed my hand onto the plaque “Bye baby, mummy loves you,” I whispered.

 I left Damon to have a little alone time and waited bye the car. Watching him walking towards me I gave him a little reassuring smile, which he returned. “Sheena, I love you”, “love you too” I replied, and then kissed him with all my love.

WOW, that last bit was hard to write.

Hope you all enjoyed please comment!

Love Mel xx