✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

I’ll be honest,
I want to give up,
but I don’t know
I can’t give up on you

I’ll wait a bit longer
I’ve already done so for this long,
woah

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Chan curled up on Felix's side of the bed, bunching up the duvet in his fists, causing his knuckles to turn white. The pillows muffled his choked cries whilst collecting his stream of tears.

Felix had drawn his last breath today. In turn, Chan's happiness had vanished, leaving him in utter despair. He had lost his will to live, not caring for the rumbles from his stomach that begged for food, despite his loss of appetite. Nor did he care for the screams from his parched throat for water, that only became drier with each sob he released.

His head ached, his body trembled, and his breathing was staggered. Worst of all was the beating of his heart pulsating for all the wrong reasons. No longer for his beloved but rather just for survival.

He wanted Felix. His survival was worthless by not having his beloved in his arms. Chan wishes he could be with him right this second. Alas, some things remain to be impossible for now.

Chan vigorously wiped his face, removing all the tears, yet some dried upon his skin leaving him with red, sticky skin. His eyes were puffy, stinging with more tears that threatened to fall any second. He pulled the duvet off of him, now sitting up. He struggled with his breathing, whilst using his fingers to pressure his temples to relieve the ache in his head.

He looked around the room, eyes landing upon Felix's favourite white sweater that hung itself in the closet that was slightly left open. And with one swift movement, Chan placed his feet on the carpet, now making his way towards the closet. He took the sweater in his hands, taking it out of the hanger. Immediately, he let the sweater sprawl over his torso as he hugged it, smelling the fragrance of Felix's perfume.

He unhurriedly made his way back to their bed, slipping his body onto Felix's side again. He held the sweater, clutching onto it as if he could feel Felix's laying with him once more. The thought brought more sobs to erupt within the now lonely bedroom that belonged to the couple.

He lay there, crying some more until he could no longer physically do so. He sat up once again, wrapping the sweater around his arms, allowing it to envelope him in its warmth.

It wasn't the same.

He wanted Felix's warmth.

"You always got annoyed with me for stretching out your clothes." Chan had started to reminisce about the bittersweet memories the two had shared over the years. "What I would do for you to scold me again." He let out small breaths to prevent himself from breaking down again. "Please come back and scold me, Lixie..."

Chan quickly moved the sweater paw up to his face to prevent any more tears. But no matter how hard he tried, the pain just couldn't seem to pass. "Please... please come back."

As Chan mourned Felix's death, he felt something poking the side of his stomach, causing some irritation. He looked down, seeing something slipping out of the pocket. He hastily pulled it out, holding it in front of his face.

A small folded paper that was titled "To Channie <3".

He unfolded the paper, seeing the beautiful handwriting that he would recognise anywhere.

This was a letter from Felix.

He read the letter, his heart breaking once he had learned the truth behind his lover's death. His mind went blank, and the only feeling that lingered was his loneliness. Not only his own, but Felix's too.

Felix was alone. Chan was alone. They needed each other.

Chan held the letter against his chest, smiling for the first time that day.

"I'll be with you soon, my love."