I trudged home through the snow, wheeling my bike along and letting my head hang down. Nothing could be worse than this. Boy, was I wrong.

I opened the door to face my father, staring down at me with his eyes that were specially reserved for when I'd done something particularly bad. I started to speak, but he silenced me the moment my mouth opened.

"Of all the irresponsible -"

"I was trying to get someone to hospital and save them from dying! How is that irresponsible?"

"Because it's midnight! You could have been killed!"

"I wasn't though, was I?"

"That's not the point Hiccup!" My father was roaring in my ear and it only made me want to end my life more. "Are you listening to me?"

"Not really, no." My life was terrible enough as it was, it wouldn't hurt to make it any worse, would it?

"And what -" my dad's spit started hitting my face as he hissed through clenched teeth, "can you possibly be thinking about now that is more important than -"

"Merida broke up with me."

My father fell silent. He stopped speaking and drew away, his eyes softening.

"How, how did it happen, son?"

I looked into his eyes, wide and understanding now. He knew what it was like to have someone you loved disappear without reason. I sighed and told him the whole story, from Astrid's call, to the hospital, to her kissing me, to Merida running away. He didn't speak, only listened intently. When I was finished he nodded silently.

"I'm, I'm sorry - son..."

"Don't be."

"I knew Astrid was a bad sort -"

"She's not, she's just jealous. She thought I meant more than I did. I was comforting her in the waiting room and she obviously thought that I liked her again. Then she - she kissed me and Merida -"

I couldn't take it any longer. I sank into one of the kitchen chairs and buried my head in my hands. My dad sat beside me and placed his hand on my head.

"I promise son, it's going to be fine."

"It's not though, is it?!" I shouted, smashing my fist on the table. "She's never going to listen to me now! It took so long just to get her trust, and now this happens? It was going so well..."

I broke down again and my dad didn't speak. I was glad. I just needed to know he was there. (play music now)

"I'm going to bed." I said to my dad. "Or try to anyway." He nodded and I climbed the stairs to my room. I plugged my headphones into my mobile and pressed play immedietly, not caring what came up. That changed the moment I heard the song playing.

Why do I love you? Why do I care?

I keep on chasing you; I'm going nowhere.

Why can't I hate you? Why don't I dare?

Thought I saw an angel, but there ain't nothing there.

I buried my head in my pillow so it would muffle the yell of hurt that escaped my mouth. My heart was breaking all over again and this song really wasn't helping. I couldn't stop thinking about how stupid I was, how ridiculous and useless I was. I had worked so hard to get Merida and one kiss had broken it all. Real smooth Hiccup. Real smooth.

Real hearts don't feel this pain, let it go, let it go

Real hearts don't feel this strain, let it go, let it go

Real hearts don't feel this way, let it go, let it go

This heart won't ever change.

I skipped the rest of the song and took my headphones off, hoping that it would make me feel better. It didn't. Now there was just a massive, empty void in my head. I slammed them back onto me head and pressed play again. It was slightly better when this song began to play.

We wrestle with the devil in the flickering light,

No way to tell who's winning the fight.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

You're gonna get through it.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

You know you're gonna get through it.

Yesterday is getting on, so today this life goes on,

Got to keep on moving.

Yesterday is getting on, so today this life goes on,

Got to keep on moving.

We dance with the devil in the flickering light,

No way to tell when you're stepping it right.

I sat up on my bed and sighed. There were some songs that, I admit, did help. I lost track of them as they played, one after the other, on and on until my phone ran out of battery. That didn't matter though. I'd already fallen asleep, fully clothed, still with wet hair from the snow.

The next day was school. The weekend had passed in a haze of kisses and immediate breakups. Whispers followed my footsteps as I climbed off of my bike:

"He was with Astrid Hofferson last night -"

"Did you hear about Hans?"

"Merida's been crying all weekend, she told me -"

"You've got to be joking!"

"Haddock? No way!"

I walked through it all and found my locker I shared with Jack. I shoved my PE kit inside it and slammed the door shut. I couldn't figure anything out. Not now anyway. I heard someone approach me and spoke before I even knew who it was.

"I am not in the mood to be asked anything, go away."

"It's me."

I turned and faced Jack. He wasn't looking lively and smiling like he usually was, he was looking at me with pity.

"I heard what happened."

"How?"

"Merida told Punzie, Punzie told me this morning. Said you might need moral support."

"She's not wrong."

Jack sighed and re-opened our locker to put his own kit inside it. He turned and faced me with a sombre expression that looked completely out of place on his normally grinning mouth.

"You know Merida's a hard one to earn trust off of. Why'd you go back to Astrid?"

"I didn't!" I yelled, making some particularly small year sevens look at me in confusion, then carry on walking, starting to giggle. "She came back to me!"

"Well," Jack still looked confused, "why'd you kiss her?"

"For the last time," I hissed through clenched teeth, balling my fists and scrunching my eyes, "I didn't kiss her."

"But Merida said -"

"Merida didn't see what she thought she saw!" I had to fight to stop myself yelling. I used the excess energy through my feet; I began pacing round and round, in circles that seemed to go on forever.

"What happened then?" Jack asked, keeping his distance in case I decided to lash out at him.

"Hans had been run over," I explained as calmly as was possible in that situation, "she called me and I texted Merida about what was happening. It was the first thing I thought of, in case I got into trouble too. I got there and called 999. We got into the ambulance and I put my arm round Astrid because she was scared as shit. We got to the hospital and I guess she read more into it than I actually meant. She obviously thought I still liked her like, like that." 

Jack nodded and I continued.

"We got told Hans was going to be okay, and we got out of the hospital. We started walking back and we got to the bridge where I, where I saw Merida the other night. I tried to speak but then she kissed me. I tried to get her off of me but," I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my right hand, "Merida had already seen."

"She went there," Jack figured it out slowly, "to check and see if you'd be okay. In case you got hurt too." I nodded. "God, Astrid's a bitch," Jack shook his head disbelievingly.

"No," I said, "I was just an idiot for not recognising it when it was so blatantly obvious."

Suddenly a girl with long, blonde hair appeared. She smiled weakly at Jack and he took her hand. She looked towards me.

"Hic," Punzie said, panicky, "Have you heard anything from Merida?"

"No, why?"

"I haven't heard from her since she told me what happened. She was so upset over the phone. Why would you go back to Astri-"

"Jack, tell her," I sighed as Jack told her the whole story.

"Oh my god!" Rapunzel cried, clapping her hands over her mouth. "We've got to tell her!"

"How?" Jack looked at her incredulously, "There's no way she's going to listen. And you know her. She has mega trust issues -"

"Don't talk about her like that," I snapped. Jack, for the first time, fell silent. "Sorry," I sighed. "I'm just, ugh, I don't know anymore."

"You're completely in love is what you are," Rapunzel looked at me with a small smile.

"I don't think that my heart's capable of doing anything right now," I wrung my hands and closed my eyes slowly. "It's just like a constant ache, it won't leave me alone."

"I think I know what it is.," Rapunzel looked at me, completely seriously, "You are in love. That's why it hurts so much."