Jimin's POV

I'm in my 2nd year, 2nd semester.

I was writing, taking notes, I pause when I felt someone tapping my back. I looked behind me and saw a male classmate, he has big doe and dark but boring eyes. It's my two weeks attending this subject and I'm certain, I've only seen him now.

I stared at him and waited, I don't usually talk to other people unless they talk to me first. He reached out and opened his hand for me as if he was some kind of beggar asking me for money. I look at him strangely.

The disturbing part was he appears asking me for I don't know what but he is looking at me with boring eyes and bitch resting face.

"Let me borrow a pen." I was taken aback, he's asking for a help but acting with that attitude.

Wow! He sure got a thick face but I gotta admit he's quit good looking. I bet that's the only good thing about him, I motioned him to wait and turns away. Despite of him giving me an attitude, I'm still considering of helping only because I have an extra pen.

I grab my bag and took out my extra pen. I turned to look at him and give him my pen and I got nothing in return, he accepts the pen and writes on his notes, just like nothing happened.

I turn away and can't help but to smile in amusement, I was shaking my head as I resume writing.

After that small interaction, I've been seeing him everywhere I go. I've also come to realize that we are classmates in most of my subjects making it impossible to not see and notice him around.

I'm starting to get conscious of myself whenever we bump to each other, it was new to me! I mean me? Getting conscious about what other people's opinion or assumptions?! I didn't feel that kind of thing before thus it truly bug and confuses me.

I tend to look over his way too but unconsciously and the worst part of it he always catches me staring— it was unintentional, I swear to god.

One time my bestfriend Taehyung, who was in different department, told me he was crushing on someone that was in my department, it turns out to be Jungkook. The one I've been having problem with.

"I just literally saw him in the street the other day! So I dig information about and tada! I found out, you are in the same department! Can I sit in, please? I wanna attend your class."

"Sure."

Taehyung was always in my class whenever he's free and we talked about Jungkook every damn time. There's not a day he wouldn't mentioned Jungkook, it's sickening to be honest.

But when we're in our 3rd year, Taehyung and I barely see each other and his crush on Jungkook eventually faded.

It was the worst year for us in terms of our studies, at that time I grew hate for Jungkook at that time because our professor was favoring him, I hate the fact that he got lots of attention that people around him helps him even without him doing anything except for him breathing. It makes his college life easier unlike mine.

But the hate I felt turns into admiration when he showed me a little kindness. We had a swimming party held by one of our Professor. All of us got invited at that time and I barely know my classmates but I came along with them because I was scared about Prof. knowing I didn't join.

I was in the cottage, alone while looking at my classmates, enjoying themselves when suddenly, Jungkook sat in front of me.

"Why don't you join them?"

"Nothing."

"Well then, I'll just join you."

Jungkook offers me a smile making my heart flips. I return his smile and we talk about our performance and our grades. It was a boring topic but somehow I caught myself enjoying the conversation.

And we still talked after that. He would approached me and starts the conversation it wasn't about us but we were talking about the lecture that our Professors had presented.

That's all. Nothing's new.

But that admiration turns into something else because of how nice he acts towards me.

All that crashes when the rumor breaks through the whole department about him trying to date one of our classmates.

Turns out the rumors were true, I caught him holding the girl's hand and saw how he look at her with fondness— It was if he was a whole different person in front of her.

It crashed me. I felt my heart shatters in pieces. I felt betrayed, I was hurt but I didn't shed a tear because I knew where to stand. I'm just his classmate who he barely talks to and have no right to feel anything.

I brushed that away, even ignore my feelings for him.

I'm already in my 4th year when I found out, they didn't end up together because apparently the girl had found someone else while Jungkook trying to date her. Jungkook reaches to me, befriend me, talk to me once again. I would be lying if I say, Jungkook giving me attention didn't make me happy.

We were taking our final exam that day and I was studying silently, back pressed against the wall sitting alone.

I stop reviewing when he sat beside me.

"Stop studying." Jungkook said and I smiled without looking at him, "I need to." I replied back.

"I'm sure you'll get everything right later, rest for a while." I sighed and stop doing as what he says.

"Jimin-ah," Jungkook suddenly calls out, I hummed in response.

"What's your ideal type?" I paused for a damn moment, suddenly? I asked myself and I jokingly answer You— internally.

"Don't really have preference. If I feel liking that person then that's it." I answered him.

"They said you already like someone." It wasn't a question but a statement. That's true, rumors has been spreading in our department that I like Namjoon, his bestfriend.

I'm close to Namjoon actually and he's the one who had spread the lies of me liking him. The audacity right? Maybe Namjoon joked about it but people believed him including Jungkook.

"What is your ideal age for marriage?" He asked me.

"Twenty nine or Thirty and you?" I asked him.

"Twenty six." My eyes widened, he just turned 22 and suddenly we are talking about marriage.

It was our graduation day, Jungkook called my name as I walk past where he was standing with a softest voice that I didn't heard before. I swear he calls my name in a sweetest way possible but instead of looking at him, waves back or even just nod at him, I ignored him because I feel like exploding if I turned to look on his way.

Few months after graduating, we've met again in a review centre. Preparing for our board examinations and it confuses me how he never tries talking to me again. It hurts a little but I accepted his treatment.

We ended up ignoring each other's presence until I found out, he liked someone again. I have noticed that accidentally, I always sit in the last row and he's in front of me. I caught him once looking at this one girl— a real definition of beauty.

I took a note of it and observed them both. They would glance at each other, share a look and smiled afterwards.

Once again, I was there when he's falling for someone else and for the second time around, I felt my whole world crashing again, and felt my heart clenched in the most painful way.

"Jimin-ah, don't let him end up with that girl, he deserves better. Do something!" Seokjin-hyung nags at me when we were having a conversation about him.

"What can I do?" I snap, "It's obvious he wants someone else and that's not me." With that he left speechless for a moment and sadly nodded his head, agreeing.

I was in my bed, looking at the ceiling, thoughts clouding on how to get rid of my feelings for him. What's the point of feeling in love with him when it's all one-sided and will never be requited? All I receive from loving him were all pain so it needed to be stop.

Not long enough after thinking on how to unlove Jeon Jungkook, I've came across them in the hallway and he's talking to Namjoon with their other friends around.

"What's so good about him." Jungkook says and in that moment, I froze in my spot and look over them and found his eyes looking directly at me, he scoffs and smirks, "He's ugly as fuck. Look at him and tell me, Namjoon." Namjoon look over me with wide eyes and then I heard the rest of them laughed.

I look around them who were clearly mocking me before looking back at Jungkook who's already staring at me, still smirking, expression screams out how he meant every fucking word he said to me.

I refrain myself from breaking down and walked past them as if nothing happened though deep down inside I'm breaking.

I thought I will never shed a single tear for him but I was wrong. I cried the whole night thinking about what he said and the way he violates me in front of his friends and his bestfriend Namjoon.

I was truly hurt and swore that it would be the last time I will be hurting because of him.

__

It has been two years since that happened. Within those two years, I've never seen him again. I can't say I have completely move on because the pain is still there but I could finally say,

I'm not in love with him, I don't love Jungkook anymore.

[A/N: I'm listening to a sad song and as I listen to it, suddenly the pain memory from my past flashes, so I wrote this one based on it. ]