Warning: some swearing

Sam had never been happier to see someone. When they ran into the small clearing where the demon was holding Felix, his heart skipped a beat. Those past few hours he had been worried sick, his mind a swirling pool of worst-case-scenarios and self-blame. The others deserved a prize for putting up with him during that time. He hadn't confessed his feelings to anyone apart from Felix, but he was sure they'd become blatantly obvious (not that he knew what "blatantly" meant, but he'd heard Felix use it and he was pretty sure he got the meaning of it at least half right). That all didn't matter now, because Felix was there and he seemed to be alright. Tied to a tree, but seemingly alright.

As he noticed later, "seem" was the keyword.

When they all stood in a half-circle facing Alice and the possessed adults, screaming the lyrics to Felix's Unmaking Song, he made the mistake of looking back over his shoulder for a split second. He had been so engrossed (a fancy word for "busy with", also learned from Felix) in fighting the demon that he hadn't stopped to consider that maybe Felix wasn't alright. He could slap himself at his stupidity. As he turned his head to glance back at his- at their goth, he caught his breath. Oscar was practically supporting Felix's entire weight, the latter looking barely conscious enough to mumble the spell. Sam's heartbeat sped up at the sight. Why hadn't anyone noticed that he was hurt this much? Why hadn't he?

Before he could turn around to help Oscar hold him up, there was a blinding white light followed by an eerie silence. Alice's screams and the roaring of the wind were gone and they'd all stopped yelling. Sam felt a strange tingling feeling run through his body as the white slowly turned to black. He was able to think, but everything was... weird. Was he unconscious? That would be so cool and so not cool at the same time. He was sure that he was lying down on the bush floor, because his sore back from being tossed around by the demon was pretty sensitive to the branches and other stuff prodding into it. It was still dark and still too silent. Then someone groaned.

Sam forced his eyes open to look at whoever had made the sound. The bright light blinded him for a moment before his eyes got used to it. He saw Jake sitting upright, holding his side. He remembered seeing him getting slammed into a tree by Fake-Gary. Jake's side probably hurt as much as Sam's back. As he pushed himself up, he couldn't help but let out a groan as well. Damn, that had hurt. It must've been adrenaline or some other biological thingy that had kept him going during the fight. Now he was tired and drained and hungry.

"Felix!" Jake said suddenly, getting Sam's full attention. His head snapped to the side, his eyes landing on Felix's limp form, completely forgetting about his pain. He vaguely noticed Andy sitting up as well, but his main focus was on the goth. He was lying a meter or two to his left, completely still. His skin was paler than usual, his eyeshadow and eyeliner seeming even darker. Sam was kneeling by his side before Jake had even scrambled up.

"Felix?" he asked, his voice tight. He gently shook his shoulders. Felix's head lolled to the side, his lips slightly parted.

Just two nights ago, he'd kissed those lips for the first time. That day they'd confessed their love to each other. It had been an awkward and in hindsight hilarious conversation, but incredibly relieving. Keeping his bisexuality hidden from his family, friends and (future ex-) girlfriend had been very hard for him these past three years after he'd first discovered he was into boys as well. Felix and him had acted very weird around each other the rest of that day, always glancing at each other and probably ticking the other two off. That night they'd snuck out while Jake, Andy and Phoebe had been sleeping. They'd talked for hours, walked around town (but staying close enough to Phoebe's house in case the demon decided to show up) and spent almost the entire time holding hands, despite Felix not being a big fan of physical contact. They'd finished their walk with a kiss. It had been the best moment of his life. Even better than his last birthday, which had been his previous best moment.

Then Felix had revealed that he'd betrayed them and he'd been so, so angry. But he hadn't stayed angry. As soon as he'd seen Fake-Demon-Bates grabbing Felix's arm and then following him and Phoebe to the shop, all his anger had been replaced by fear.

Now, Felix was hurt. And the last thing that he'd told him was that he hated him.

"Felix!" he called again and shook him a bit harder. Nothing. Not even a twitch or a moan or something. Nothing.

"Come on, wake up," he said, feeling tears pricking in his eyes. "This isn't funny. Wake up, you freak."

"Sam, stop! You're not helping him," Andy said, standing next to him with a hand on his shoulder. He realised that he had been shaking Felix a bit too harshly. He immediately let go and sucked in a shuddered breath.

"I told him I hated him."

"Hey, he'll be fine," Jake said and put his hand on his other shoulder. "He's tough. And a witch. He can-"

"Guys?" Andy interrupted. His wavering voice made Sam look up at him. Andy was blurry blob of colours because of the tears in his eyes. "I don't think he's breathing."

Sam's heart stopped.

He leaned forward, holding his ear over Felix's mouth and looking whether his chest rose or not. He neither felt nor heard his breath, or saw his chest rise. He was absolutely still.

"No," he croaked as he rested one hand on Felix's chest, the other on the ground, supporting his body weight. He moved his hand over Felix's heart, hoping to feel a heartbeat. He felt nothing. Felix was dead. He wasn't breathing, his heart wasn't beating, he was gone. Because he hadn't tried hard enough to help him. He was gone. Forever. And it was his fault.

Someone was shaking his shoulder. He clenched his hand, grabbing a fistful of Felix's T-shirt. He couldn't be gone. Like Jake said, he was a witch. He was magic, he-

Why was someone shaking his shoulders?

"Start CPR now or his brain will sustain serious trauma because of the lack of oxygen!"

Felix couldn't just die. He was supposed to be awake, be his usual sarcastic, creative, beautiful and magical self and-

"Goddammit, Sam! Move!"

Magical...

"You pull him aside, I start compressions."

"Wait!" Sam yelled as the hands shaking his shoulders had begun to pull him back. "Magic! He's magic! T-t-talisman!"

Now that the hands had stopped shaking him, he notices that he himself was shaking as well. His voice was breaking and he could only see colours through his teary eyes, no definite shapes. His heart was beating way too fast. He was breathing way too quickly. His mind was going a hundred kilometres per hour.

His fault. Your fault.

You told him that you hated him. He's dying.

He blinked his tears away. Felix looked so pale and so thin and so fragile.

No magic can save him. No medicine. No CPR. He's gone.

His magic wore him out. It killed him.

It's your fault.

But magic could save him.

Stop trying, just let it rip you apart from the inside out.

So pale and so still and so...

Dead. Your fault.

He looked like a corpse. Not that he knew what corpses looked like in reality, but it felt like looking at a corpse.

First time you come out to someone, first time you've really, truly loved someone, and you get him dead. Kill him.

Felix could not be dead. Not after all that had happened.

It's your-

"-water and earth. Sam, you have to say it too!" Sam was partly snapped from his panic attack by Andy's words. The incantation. Right. Felix would live. He began to chant with them between uneven breaths. He felt a hand rubbing his back, calming him down a tiny bit.

Dead.

"-call ye forth-"

Gone.

"-of the elements-"

Forever.

"-invoke thee-"

Your fault.

"-air-"

Felix.

"FIRE!" he yelled, the talisman glowing bright where Andy had placed it over Felix's heart. He was momentarily blinded. The light died down, revealing Felix still lying on his back, head still lolled to one side, still so limp and pale and unmoving.

Then his chest rose and his eyes fluttered.

"Felix!" he cried and leaned forward, brushing some hair from Felix's face. His hands were shaking. Tears were welling up again. He blinked them away and took Felix's hand into his. He stared longingly at the dark makeup, hoping Felix had the strength in him to open his eyes.

"Tilt his head back and his chin up, so he can breathe better," Andy said. Whether that was one or ten seconds after performing their spell, Sam didn't know. He let go of Felix's hand and did as he'd been told, trying to keep his own hands steady. As he gently pushed Felix's forehead down and his chin up, his eyes finally fluttered open. The hazel irises were unfocused at first, but soon locked on to Sam's brown ones. A tiny smiled tugged at Felix's lips.

"Hey," he croaked, his voice sounding terrible. It was the most beautiful sound Sam had ever heard.

"You fucking idiot. You scared me to death."

"Sorry."

"Shut up," he said with a watery smile and leaned forward, gently pressing his lips onto Felix's. He pulled back just as Felix began to kiss him back, since he didn't want to restrict his breathing any more than he had to.

"You fucking moron, I thought you were dead."

"I don't die that easily," he joked, his smile bigger but his voice still sounding like he'd been screaming for an hour straight (not normal screaming, but heavy metal screaming. 'Cause Felix didn't scream. He'd gasp at most).

"Besides, I'm friends with the Devil. He'd let me come right back up to you if I asked nicely." Sam laughed as he brushed his thumb across Felix's temple.

"No, you're not," he said with a laugh. Then he frowned. "Are you?"

"Of course not, you airhead." Sam let out a relieved breath when he finally knew that Felix was not dead and he was doing fine - more than fine - and they were alright and Felix is alive.

That's when he realised Andy and Jake were still on either side of him.

"Uh..." he said and sat up, letting one of his hands trail down Felix's arm and once again taking his hand. He glanced from left to right with an embarrassed smile. He must have looked pretty funny: still breathing quickly and unevenly from his panic attack, tear-stained cheeks, puffy eyes, red face, awkward smile and glancing between his two friends as if he were watching a tennis match. He noticed Felix's cheeks heating up as well. At least he wasn't as pale as before.

He's alive. He's alive. He's alive.

"Dude, we knew," Jake said. "Like, for a week. You two were being so obvious."

"If my observations were accurately interpreted," Andy said with a thoughtful look on his face. "I'd say that you talked about your feelings two days ago."

"Of course you interpreted them right," Jake said with an eye roll. "Even a blind man could see how you two kept staring at each other. It was almost as bad as Dean and Cas."

"You watch Supernatural?", Felix asked from where he was lying on the ground. It was Sam's instinct to squeeze his hand he was holding. Felix squeezed back.

"Duh, who doesn't?" Jake replied. "Anyways, we also knew you snuck out."

"Yeah," Andy added. "You weren't exactly quiet. By the way, Phoebe thinks you two are cute."

"No," Jake said. "She said she'd be sick if she had to watch you have eye sex any longer. Especially after that night."

"It had been pretty hard to have a normal conversation that day. With all the glances and smiles," Andy said with a grin. Sam looked down at Felix and saw him smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry?" the goth said, but it sounded more like a question.

"It's alright," Jake said with a smile. "At least something good came from our little adventure."

"Speaking of," Andy said. "Are we back? I mean, Alice is gone. So are Phoebe and Oscar and the others. But can we know for sure it worked?" Sam felt Felix tighten his grip on his hand at the mention of Alice. Sam squeezed back reassuringly and stroked his thumb over the back of Felix's hand. He was about to say something when he heard footsteps.

"Guys," he said and pointed at the direction he heard them coming from with his free hand. Jake and Andy turned to look while Felix tried to sit up. When he let out a groan and began to sink back down, Sam wrapped his arm around his shoulders to keep him upright. He glanced down at him and saw Felix look back gratefully. He shot him a small smile.

"It's them," Jake said. "Bates and Fake-Dad and-"

"Are they still possessed?" Andy asked. Sam tried to get a look, but since he was kneeling on the bush floor next to Felix, he couldn't see much.

"I don't- wait," Jake said. "It's loser Dad!" Sam's breath hitched. They were home? They were finally home?

"Are you sure?" Andy asked.

"Look at the clothes he's wearing! It's totally loser Dad. Awesome!" he said excitedly and began to run towards them. Sam heard a whistle and someone yelling: "They're here!" Then Andy ran out of sight as well. Sam looked down at Felix.

"Can you stand?"

"I can try," he said. Together they started to get up, Sam slinging Felix's arm over his shoulders, his other arm supporting Felix's back. When they were both standing, Sam was carrying most of Felix's weight.

"I won't be able to-" Felix gasped, "-to stand much longer. I-"

"Hey, it's alright. I'll stay with you," he said. He turned his head to look at Felix and saw him looking back at him. They're faces were only a few centimetres apart.

"I'm so sorry, for what I put you through, Sam. I-" But before Felix could finish his apology, Sam cut him off with a kiss. This time he didn't pull back before Felix could kiss him back. He meant no offence to Mia, but Felix was a much better kisser. When they both heard their dads calling their names, they broke apart.

"Sam!"

"Felix!"

"Dad!" they both yelled back at the same time. If Felix hadn't been depending on his presence to be able to stand, Sam was sure the goth would've run into his father's arms.

"Felix! Are you alright? What's going on?" his father asked as he and Sam's dad ran up to them.

"Fine, just exhausted," Felix said. Sam scoffed.

"'Just exhausted'? You can barely stand," he said and shook his head. Typically Felix. Always downplaying it. Hiding his pain.

"What happened?" Felix's father asked worriedly. Sam saw that his own dad was having a hard time not running up to him and hugging him. But he was glad that he was able to pull himself together. Felix still needed him.

"That's a long story," Sam said and motioned for Felix's dad to help him. Felix raised his other arm, which his dad slung over his shoulders. Then Sam's dad came up to them and gave him a one-armed hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he said with a wavering voice. Sam was glad that he didn't mention the tear tracks on his face. He glanced up at his father and sighed, briefly leaning into the hug without hindering Felix.

"I missed you," he said before turning to look at Felix. He heard his dad say "Me too" and felt him pat his back. Then he let him go so Sam could revert his full attention back to Felix and making sure he didn't fall. His skin was paler again and he looked ready to sleep for a week.

"You alright?" he asked quietly so neither of their fathers could hear them.

"Always will be, now that you're with me," he whispered back. Sam smiled.

"And I'm not leaving."

"Neither am I. You're stuck with me now."

"Wouldn't want it any other way. Freak."

"I'm glad. Airhead."