-Author's POV-

Awakening of the soul, awakening of the heart and mind. Madison rouses the following morning, dreading in thought of how her day would roll through. The first tear slips down the ends of her eyes, already expecting the gloom to progress quicker than her mind could comprehend such sad liquid pooling between her collarbones.

She sighs. Allowing every tear to be known, she doesn't discourage her sadness, in fact, Madison takes in every emotion.

Memories. That's all she had left of Christopher, and that's all that will remain.

~~~~~

Madison giggles, biting her lower lip in hopes to keep her loud behavior suppressed.

"If you don't keep it down we'll be caught." Christopher hisses, giving his younger sister a playful shove to the shoulder.

"Okay.. Okay." She huffs, helping him collect a few blankets and pillows to keep them warm for the night.

A young thirteen-year-old Madison follows her older brother, keeping close and unknowingly holding her breath until she was out of the large home safely.

"Where are we going?" She finally speaks, much louder this time.

The twilight night settles with calmness, a tranquil ambiance eases comfort into their world. They both loved the stars that twinkled in vibrancy above, but they also loved the flowers that would flourish in beauty every sunrise.

"You'll see—"

"Well I'm not just going to follow you blindly—"

"Mad-Cap, you'll love it. Just let it be a surprise for once." He huffs, hoisting the small telescope box hidden beneath the blanket he'd been cradling throughout their nightly walk.

"Can we listen to some Beyoncé?" She asks, managing to pull out her phone and play a few knowing tunes.

"Couldn't stop you even if I wanted to." He chuckles, finding the young teen adorable. "You know back in my time—"

"When dinosaurs were still alive—"

"You cheeky little—"

"Madison."

They share a laugh, "You know for a thirteen year old you'd think you would play with Barbie's and... What do girls your age do anyways?"

"Beats me." She giggles, "I'm not into that.. Do you not like me sharing the same interests as you?" She asks, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

He smiles, "I think you're a very mature, immature, crazy, loving, over the top teen.. I wouldn't have you any another way, and the fact you share the same interest's as me is the cherry on the cake to it all."

She smiles, her heart rate fires up to the skies and blasts across the darkened heavens.

~~~~~~

Madison returns to a reality filled with tears and inaudible weeps. She'll never forget that night, and how Christopher brought the stars to life with each glance through the mini telescope he surprised her with.

She wipes away the tears, forces herself out of bed and walks herself over to the floor length windows; absorbing the sunrays inviting themselves into her grand bedroom.

She smiles, glad the sunshine was out, and it was the first year on Christopher's anniversary that the rain didn't overtake the skies.

Her head turns quickly back to the sound of soft knocks echoing against the large oak door.

"Come in," She turns around, catching Kimberley and Cheryl's light smiles.

"Good morning," They speak softly, walking into Madison's bedroom.

"Good morning." She resounds, meeting her parents half way. Both Kimberley and Cheryl embrace her, conveying every unsaid word, every unsaid sorrow and love.

"How are you?"

"Can we not talk about it?" The teen sighs, releasing them from the love. "I just.. I need to go back to Mum and Dads to pick up a few things—"

"We'll take you—"

"No," She shakes her head. "I'm going to have Jeffry—"

"Maddy—"

"Mam, please." She sighs. "This isn't about anyone but Christopher today." The teen goes to walk away, but Kimberley wasn't going to allow that.

"You're not pushing us away just because you're feeling upset—"

"I'm not feeling anything," Madison snatches her hand out of the tight grip. "I like to be left alone on this day—"

"Yeah but—"

"Just.. Please."

The mother's dissolve with a gentle sigh. "Okay baby." Cheryl replies, giving her daughter a reassuring smile. "What are you going to do today?" The Geordie asks, needing to be reassured herself.

"Nothing I just—"

"Madison," Kimberley takes authority. "If you're going to be out by yourself all day then I would like to know what you'll be doing." She raises an eyebrow, getting green eyes to roll in annoyance.

Madison groans, "It's silly and stupid and there's no point in sharing."

"Baby," Cheryl takes a gentler approach, taking her daughters hand and stroking it with love. "It's not stupid, and it's not silly and there is every single point to share."

Madison sighs, confessing her plans. "I just... I go and.. And collect the remains of the flowers still hanging to their stems and.. What not." She shrugs, blushing in embarrassment.

"That's beautiful," Cheryl makes sure to speak up, knowing her wife would say something ignorant or cheeky. "What else?"

How did she know? How does she always know there's more? The teen mentally thinks, the sound of her heartbeat makes beautiful tunes within her.

"And I spend the day... Through the night, ending it with watching the stars." She rambles it out, quickly.

Kimberley smiles, "You could always watch them out in the garden—"

"No," Madison shakes her head. "It's.. Our spot—"

"Where is that?" Cheryl asks, never letting go of her daughter's hand.

"It's a bit far.. That's why Jeffry is going to take me."

"No. We'll take you, I don't feel comfortable with this—"

"Mum and Dad didn't care—" Kimberley cuts the teen off, the same way she did.

"Well, I'm not Connor or the wicked witch of the west—"

"Why are you so persistent all the fcuking time!?" Madison huffs, pushing her way past the women. "I don't need you two today! Just let me have this fcuking day!" She shouts, slamming the ensuite with a loud thud. The moment she's alone, she releases her tears with the wooden door hiding her away from caring eyes.

"Why are you always pushing her?" Cheryl sighs, "Just let her do what she wants—"

"You're actually seriously considering to let her leave from the fcuking morning until late hours of the night. Ha! Good one, tell me the joke again because it's just that funny!"

Cheryl rolls her eyes, "Can't you see she needs this?"

"Can't you see she's fifteen for crying out loud?" The blonde makes her way over to where Madison has locked herself away, still crying her little heart out.

"Mado—"

"You're not making m-me feel any better!" She hiccups, breaking Kimberley's heart.

"Okay," She breathes. "Look.. Okay.. Okay look.. I'll let you go." The mother caves instantly, not surprised with the hold her daughter had on her. "I'll let you have all the space you need, but you're letting me take you wherever you want."

A loud groan sounds behind the closed door. "Mum—"

"I'm giving you all the freedom you want.. But I drop you off wherever you want."

Silence.

"Alright?" Kimberley speaks after a few seconds.

"Fine." The ensuite door reopens, Madison's unable to see past the blonde's broad smile. "Don't look so happy! It's not meant to be a happy day." She rolls her eyes, routing to the walk-in-closet.

Cheryl makes sure to follow the teen, needing to comfort her regardless of what Kimberley had forced Madison to agree on. She doesn't utter a single word, simply watching her daughter dress for the day.

"Could you come with us..?" Madison asks, pulling a black t-shirt over her head.

"Of course.. If that's what you want?" Cheryl smiles.

The teen smiles lightly, "Yeah.. Please? All she's going to do is do my head in all fcuking day—"

"I can hear you!" Comes a shout from the bedroom.

"Good!" Madison shouts back.

"What do you need to get from Connor and Clara's?" Cheryl gets her daughters attention back; a shy blush rises to the teen's cheeks.

She shrugs shyly.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to – c'mere let us do that." The mother beckons her daughter over, and begins to tie Madison's long chocolate locks into a tight ponytail.

"I need to get the box of flowers, and a few other things... I also haven't got the rest of my belongings—"

"Today really isn't the day for that sweets." Cheryl knew Connor and Clara must have been gloomy themselves, and the teen collecting the rest of her things for good wasn't the right time.

She still had a heart after everything Clara did to her daughter.

"Fine." Madison sighs, turning around and meeting the brown eyes once again.

"You look beautiful—"

"I look like sh*t.. I don't have any makeup on or anything—"

"Hey." The mother cuts her off, sternly. "I said you look beautiful."

Madison rolls her eyes; although somewhere deep inside the butterflies were slowly escaping their cage.

"Thanks." She mumbles.

Kimberley walks into the closet, smiling at the scene of her wife and daughter. "Are you two ready? Should we pick up some breakfast on our way... to wherever we are going?"

"This isn't a fieldtrip Mum." Madison huffs, walking out of the closet with the women close behind.

"I didn't say it was.. Are you going to wear all black? Maybe you should—"

Kimberley stops midsentence with Cheryl's elbow striking her roughly.

"Stop." The Geordie hisses, brown eyes bulging out of their socket.

The blonde groans, rubbing the throbbing spot in her stomach that took a harsh impact of her wife's elbow. Madison decides to ignore her Mum's words, busying herself with tightening her white trainers.

"Are you ready sweets?" Cheryl asks, making sure to help her daughter although it wasn't going to affect the teen, nothing could make her happy.. or so she thought.

"Yeah." Madison mumbles, grabbing her phone and leather jacket as she exits the bedroom.

"Nice one." Cheryl shoots at her wife, the brown orbs daggering straight into Kimberley's soul.

"What?"

"Don't talk sh*t today.. Please, for Maddy."

Kimberley sighs softly, "Okay baby, I didn't mean much by it—"

"Asking if she was going to wear black is talking sh*te."

The blonde raises her hands into the air, showing defeat. "Okay.. Okay, I'm sorry."

"HURRY UP!"

"That's our call." Kimberley chuckles, gently taking her wife's hand into her own. She guides them out, finding Madison standing in front of the home, impatiently.

"In yous get." She opens their doors, waiting for them to safely secure their belts before walking herself to the driver's side.

Kimberley clears her throat, "Do you know if Connor and Clara are home—"

"I have the keys."

"What is it you're getting exactly?"

"Just stuff." Madison speaks bluntly, not really in the mood to use her voice at all.

The mother forces her to speak, Cheryl wasn't too happy, but after all she did want her little girl to open up.

"What are you planning to do with this mystery stuff?" Kimberley pushes, driving out of the home.

"Mum," Madison begins with a groan. "You said you were just going ot drive me, not interrogate me with your million questions—"

"Mado—"

"No I don't want to talk about it."

Kimberley sighs, deciding to remain silent.

It was the first year anyone appeared to care for the teen's inner thoughts and battles. With both parents seemingly caring with every inch of their hearts, it was impossible for Madison to accept such comforting love.. Afraid it wasn't genuine.

"Sweets," Cheryl turns in her seat, looking at her daughter whose gaze is fixated out the window. "Lets get you something to eat first, and then we'll go to wherever you like."

Madison remains silent.

"Okay?" Cheryl reaches out, stroking Madison's knee covered with the black skinny jeans. "Yeah?"

"Mm okay." It was a silent murmur, but the Geordie was thankful with any word sounding out of her daughter's lips. Somewhere in the back of Cheryl's mind she believed her daughter would slip into a depression, it was common in her family, and she would do absolutely anything to help the teen fight this battle.

Kimberley remains silent, driving with speed to the pedal.

Once reaching the Harris household, she finally speaks.

"Do you want me to come down with you?" She asks, putting the car into park.

"No.. No I got it." Madison quickly exits, her heart raging with each step closer to the grand home. Secretly, she hoped nobody would be home, it was uncommon for the Harris couple to be home around this time.. but she was proved wrong.

"Madison?" Comes Connors shocked tone, eyebrows furrowed. "What.. What are you doing here?"

The teen silently gulps, "I'm just.. I'm grabbing a few of my things." She rushes her words, moving her feet and running up the stairs.

She tugs and pulls, grasping and throwing all that she needed into a travel bag. Her heart was beating in thunderbolts, jolting through her veins with anxiety.

Clara enters her room, startling the teen from the rushed actions.

"Hey.." She begins, nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"Grabbing a few things." Madison replies, remaining her attention to her belongings.

"How are you?"

In all of Madisons years, she's never been asked a question so sincer from Clara.. And yes, it surpised her.

"Huh?" She asks, shocked.

"I said.. How are you?" Clara repeats, smiling slightly.

"Good.. Why do you ask?" The teen sets her bag down, meeting her mother's eyes for the first itme.

"I know... I know its Christopher's three years."

The tears come flooding through, impossible to hold them back much longer. With just the sound of her brothers name sounding into the stilled room, they pour down, a never-ending current.

"Come here." Clara takes her daughter into a hug; Madison never fights it. She melts into the touch that was forever craved, just realizing how much she missed it all.

"You'll be okay.. It's just another year."

"It-It's not just.. Just another y-year." The teen cries through her words, "He's..He's never coming back."

Clara can't find the words to say, she never could when it came to Madison. She remains quiet, searching for the comforting words desperately desired by the teen.

"There, there." She pats the younger girls back, pulling back after seconds of holding her close.

Madison steps back, wiping away the evident sadness.

"You're fine, your Dad and I have had a quiet morning.. You could.. Stick around?" The mother spits it out, she hoped her daughter would stay; the regretting of her words washes over and drowns her deeply.

"Erm.." Madison's eyes begin to avert around the bedroom she once escaped to, now feeling nothing towards the empty space. "Mum and Mam are waiting outside for me."

Clara laughs lightly, "Wow.. Mam and Mum? You moved on fast."

"It's not like that." The teen defends herself, resuming to collect her belongings.

"What's it like then? It hasn't been long since you started living with them.. Not long enough for you to start calling them your parents."

"I didn't come over here to have an argument, fcuk." Madison huffs, zipping up the travel bag and throwing it over her shoulder.

"I just don't understand—"

"You don't have the right to understand.. You know," Madison laughs bitterly, "For a slight second I thought you've changed—"

"Changed? There was nothing to change—"

"That's where you're wrong." The teen pushes her way out of the bedroom, Clara following closely behind.

"Wait." She manages to stop the teen; Connor steps out of the kitchen watching the scene play out.

"What?"

"This is a family matter, Christopher was your brother just as much as he was our son.. You should stay."

Again, Madison laughs bitterly. "Like hell I am—"

"Hey!" Connor uses his voice, "Don't speak like that to your mother."

"She stopped being my mother the second she said those words about me – and you have no room to talk either."

The father sighs, "It wasn't like that—"

"It was exactly that. Mum's coming with me again some other time, I'll be collecting the rest of my belongings." She spits the words, swiftly exiting the home, leaving Connor and Clara speechless.

The tears are held back, along with her breath. They brim nonetheless, letting it be known to both Cheryl and Kimberley that their daughter was on the brink of sobs and screams.

"Where to now?" Kimberley speaks first, not wanting to ask her daughter what the tears were for just yet.

"Cemetery." Madison just about manages to say, hiding herself away in the backseat.

The car ride is silent, the odd sniffle sounding from the teen. She clutches the bag held with the items needed for today, her hands shake, and heartbeat skips every so often. All she needed in this moment was Christopher, but even he was out of reach.

Before Kimberley puts the Rover to a full stop, Madison is bolting straight out, speeding her way to the gravestone belonging to Christopher Harris.

"Leave her." Cheryl stops her wife, not wanting the blonde to run after her.

"I want to know what they fcuking told her in there—"

"What makes you think they even told her anything?" The Geordie asks, glancing back to her daughter, catching a glimpse of Madison speaking to the lifeless yard.

"She was close to tears.. Did you not see her eyes?"

Cheryl sighs, nodding. "I want her to focus today on Christopher, lets not worry about Connor and Clara."

Silence. They both take in the sight of their daughter, trying to read the murmurs forming her lips into a small pout.

Madison sniffs, pulling out the white box from the overstuffed bag.

"I..I got our flower box." Her words are whispered; afraid someone could hear their exchange. She believed Christopher was with her in this very moment, smiling along to every word spoken to him.

She doesn't dare to open the box, keeping her hands firmly grasped to it.

"I'll never forget you.. I hope you know that?" Madison speaks to herself more than anything, making sure to never let go of her older brother, forever keeping him in her world.

Living.

Breathing.

A soul that lives on for eternity.

"It's funny," She begins. "The first year it doesn't rain.. and in someway I understand why that is.." She takes a deep breath. "I'm happy for the firs time.. Kimberley and Cheryl have helped me so much Chris.. I wish you could meet them." Tears trickle down her cheeks, she doesn't hesitate, leaving the salty liquid to roll down without a single frustration in her being.

She hated crying.

She hated the vulnerability, but when it came to Christopher, she would allow every single wall to breakdown, giving everything to him.

He was her hero.

"I think I want to do things differently this year.. I'm not going to stay here and be miserable.. I want to.. I want to let everything go." She sniffs, "Doesn't mean I'll be letting you go, I promise I'm not." The tears were unstoppable; they flow everlastingly.

"I love you." She whispers for the last time, placing a few kisses to the gravestone resting atop of her brothers' grave. "See you later."

She shakily stands to her feet, collecting her belongings and returning to Cheryl and Kimberley who wait for her patiently.

"You okay?" Is the first thing Cheryl tells her, turning around in her seat and offering her hand for comfort.

"Yeah, fine." Madison giggles, tearfully.

Kimberley catches her daughters' reflection in the rearview mirror, blowing a kiss as soon as Madison locks eyes with her blue-greys.

"Where to now?" She asks, never averting her eyes from the sad greens.

"There's a lake.. It's a drive though—"

"Just give me the address and I'll put it in my navi."

Madison smiles, and gives her mother the address, but never does she release her hand from Cheryl's loving touch.

Kimberley begins the journey to Madison's unique spot, unknowing of what her daughter will be doing once arriving. Even Madison herself has no clue what it is she'll be doing, but all she knew, in this very moment – that in order to feel complete happiness, she needed to let go of what was holding her back.