-Author's POV-

The Harris family sits at the dinner table, each holding an iPhone or iPad in their hand. Cutlery clinks, but no conversation is conversed between them. Madison averts her eyes from the lit screen for a second, reaching out she jabs a chicken and places it into her plate, continuing her scroll through social media.

She's engrossed with her timeline filling with new followers and tweets, she'd made it far in the competition and she's slowly creating her own fanbase.

"Reached five thousand followers today" She mumbles with her mouthful.

"That's nice dear" Clara replies, eating her food with elegance.

"Dad, did you hear that?" She asks Connor, who'd yet to look away from his tablet. He nods with a smile, but keeps his eyes locked with the email he'd been reading intensely.

"Well I think it's cool" Madison murmurs and sighs. It was always a one word conversation when it came to dinner, or any other sit down with her family, she wasn't sure if she liked the silence all too much.

"What happens next in this competition?" The question is taken by surprise, she instantly locks her phone and sets it down. Ready to finally have a chat, well, any conversation would be good right now. Connor waits for his daughters reply, still not meeting her green eyes.

"Well," She begins with a smile "We go to the judges houses, it's a secret place-"

"I'm sure they'll need to tell you where you's are going sweetheart, how are you supposed to know what to pack?" He asks with a chuckle, typing up the rest of his email.

"They don't-"

"Madison, are you sure you were listening to the producers when they said the rules?" Clara asks with a light laugh. The teens face crumbles with sadness; her parents were mocking her inability to pay attention, even when it came to a future she'd hoped success in.

"Of course I was-"

"I think you should give them a call back tomorrow-"

"I leave tomorrow dad, I've already told you.. Aren't you's going to drop me off?" She gulps, the lump slowly forming and tightening in her throat. Mentally, she pleads herself not to well up with tears.

"Jeffry will be taking you, we can say our goodbyes tonight, I have an early meeting, and so does your Mum." She nods with a teary smile, and it goes unnoticed by the parents still focused on the screens held in their hands.

"Yeah," She clears her throat "That's fine.. Erm.. Well, I'll go up to my room now. I've got loads of packing to do" Quickly, Madison stands to her feet and darts out of the large dinning room and rushes up the grand staircase. The tears unknowingly streak down her flushed cheeks. The uninterested energy only brought her high down, and suddenly, she didn't want to follow this unrealistic dream.

The distraught teen falls onto her plush bed, releasing a low whimper. She was never one to cry, bottling and sealing her emotions was something she was an expert at. It's gotten too much, her parents were uninterested in this childish dream; their dream was for her to follow in the families footsteps. The family business was bound for success, where as Madison's longing was a gamble and waste of time.

A knock to the bedroom door jolts her upright.

"Come in" She calls, quickly wiping her tears away.

Clara walks in with a pouting smile.

"Just coming in to see if you need any help with your packing?" She smiles at the kind gesture.

"I've finished the last of them, I'm done.. I hope it's somewhere sunny. I've got all my summer things in there." She points to her packed case.

"I'm sure Cheryl wouldn't go somewhere cold" She nods to her Mum's words, and watches Clara fuss around the room. Cleaning up the mess she'd created whilst packing.

"Why don't you come with Jeffry and I? You know, when he drops me off?" Madison speaks with hope lacing into her gentle voice.

"Agh I wish sweetheart, this meeting is really important for your father and I" The Mum perches herself on the bed; sitting close to her daughter. She draws her in for a quick hug, it's too quick for the teens liking, but it was better than nothing.

"If you get to the live shows we'll be there for sure"

"You said that about my last audition" Madison chuckles sadly, trying to mask the sound of rejection affecting her.

"This time I promise"

"Okay, yeah, I'd like that very much" She smiles shyly, "I think I'll sleep now if that's alright?" Clara stands to her feet and waits for her daughter to climb into bed. Tucking her in, she places a kiss to her forehead.

"Goodnight, your father will be in shortly to give you his wishes for tomorrow. Good luck." Madison closes her eyes, concealing all the words being whispered to her.

"Thank you" Without a single word, the mother exits the room. With the lights off, the dark thoughts ease themselves into Madison's world, and she ponders for a short while of what her life would have been outside the Harris family. If her mother and father would give her cuddles and kisses, read to her before bed, or simply chat nonsense until the early hours.

She shakes these absurd thoughts and rolls over, giving sleep a try and preparing herself for tomorrows adventures.

--

Kimberley's sobs slowly diminish, the odd hiccup releases into the silent bedroom. She lies awake that night, her hands caress Cheryl's abandoned bedside. The depression that once escaped her returns each year with the memory of her baby never to be found out if it was a little girl or boy. So she cries once again with the thought circling in her mind.

She mentally beats herself for bringing up Cheryl's past. In every argument erupted, the memory of the Geordies child is brought into the heated mix.

With the last hiccup and deep breath, she builds up the courage to follow her wife's trail. In the darkness that lingered in the night, the emptiness of the house that was supposed to be filled with sleeping children now fills with two broken souls trying to build a love without a daughter or son.

"Ch-Chez?" She hiccups, blue-greys fall upon Cheryl's trembling body. Her heart breaks at the sight, the Geordie beauty cries in silence; she moves her feet quickly and climbs into bed alongside her.

"I'm-I'm sorry" Kimberley cries, her shaking hands reach out for Cheryl's touch.

"I'm sorry" She repeats. Cheryl shakes her head and sobs loudly, shielding her expression with the trembling hands that always touched Kimberley's body with love, with want and need.

Kimberley repeats "Baby, I'm sorry.. I promise I'm sorry" With force, she molds herself behind Cheryl. Spooning their bodies in a tight clasp. Her arms wrap around the brunette as her lips kiss exposed shoulders in hopes to calm down the sobs escaping Cheryl's sculptured mouth.

"Y-You always.. You always do this." Cheryl finds her voice; the tensed body relaxes into Kimberley, giving in to her touch.

"Always bringing up me bloody past"

"I'm sorry" The blonde whispers, her head falls against Cheryl's back with a sigh.

"I am really sorry, I didn't mean it.. I'm just.. Sad" Silence falls upon them. They take in their lives; the happy beginnings were now tarnishing with memories that were supposed to be joyful and filled with pure and utter bliss.

Cheryl slowly untangles the clinging hands and turns around to meet the gloomy orbs.

"Look at us" She strokes Kimberley's damp cheek with love, their eyes meet with deep frowns plastered on both expressions.

"I love you, I really do baby, and I know it's not something you can just get over.. I've been there. I held her in me arms you know, I held her and just.. Gave her away. I want you to talk to us, when you bottle it all up and blow off on us like that, it only causes problems.. That's all we seem to be having these days.. Problems-"

"I am happy with you.. It's just.. Today you know. It's the day I found out I was pregnant." Cheryl's expression softens.

"Sit up" She instructs the distraught blonde; they readjust their position. The darkness still remains in the guest bedroom as they take comfort against the pillows mounded behind them.

"I want you to do something for us" Kimberley nods with a hiccup.

"I want you to tell me what's on your mind baby" She gets a shake of the dead, the lips that adorned Kimberley still tremble with sadness.

"I-I c-can't" Cheryl frowns with confusion, she doesn't get a chance to reply. "I don't want to upset y-you"

"You wont, I promise you wont.. Please.. Just do this for me" Finally, Kimberley nods and settles into Cheryl's arms. Her head pressed against Cheryl's chest, the need to hear her wife's heart beat grows with desire.

Kimberley sighs.

"I'm jealous, upset, hurt, angry, and s-sad.. I'm feeling a million things right now."

"Jealous?" She nods in reply. "Why are you jealous?"

"Y-You had a baby Cheryl.. You had a baby and just, gave it away." The brunette closes her eyes and wills herself not to cry anymore.

"I had to" Comes the faint whisper.

"No you didn't-"

"Kimberley," Cheryl starts with a long exhale "Are you forgetting where I grew up? Do you think I would have been able to raise a baby on me own-"

"You had your Mam"

"It's in the past." The Geordie says determinedly, "Please can we just leave it there?"

"Fine." The silence falls once again. It's not uncomfortable, but it's filled with swirling thoughts roaming through the married couples subconscious minds.

"What do you think she would have looked like?" Kimberley was hitting every chord in the Geordies being. She doesn't want to hurt her wife, but she wants to be let in to Cheryl's guarded past.

"Please-" Cheryl begs, her eyes clasped firmly.

"Please.. I want to talk about it" Kimberley whispers, her fingers tracing the hem of Cheryl's vest top.

"I'm.. I'm sure she'd been beautiful" The tear stubbornly escapes the brown orbs.

"Do you think she would have gotten along with our baby?" Kimberley's voice trembles, but she forces herself to speak, because for once, Cheryl was letting her in.

"Mhm" The Geordies lips press tightly together, her chin trembles with emotion.

"What do you think she'd of looked like? You know.. Once she grew up?" That's all it took for Cheryl to breakdown once again, the sobs and hiccups, the howling and violent cries echo loudly against the four walls. Kimberley holds onto her wife, kissing any skin her lips could touch.

They both needed to vent out their issues.

"Sh-She-" She's unable to string a proper sentence together, the cries take over, and overwhelm her. Instead of speaking, Kimberley holds Cheryl. They were cannonballs in the air, and finally - they've crashed.

"I love you" Kimberley whispers, and kisses the Geordies temple. Her lips linger and sigh into the affection.

Hours could have passed, but the blonde waits for Cheryl to collect herself.

"Sh-She would have had m-me dimples" She says with a teary chuckle. Kimberley turns and lies in between Cheryl's legs, her head nestled against the beating heart.

"What else?" The blonde asks. Her eyes closing as she imagines Cheryl's daughter, painting an image of how she would look, how she would sound and where she would be in this exact moment.

"Brown hair.. She'd definitely have me hair" Cheryl speaks subconsciously, her lips uttering the thoughts that were sealed in the back of her mind. Her fingers run through Kimberley's blonde hair as she continues her words with a weak smile.

"She'd be cheeky-"

"Couldn't imagine her not being cheeky when she's got a Mam like you" They laugh. It starts off euphoric and falls into a sad chuckle.

"Do you think I'd have been a good Mam?" Cheryl asks insecurely. Kimberley raises her head and kisses the frowning lips with emotion. Both their lips quivering into the contact.

"You would have been an amazing Mam.. Do you think we could try again?" Kimberley bravely asks.

"I don't know" Cheryl averts her teary eyes.

"Why do you refuse to carry our baby?" The blonde asks, it's a whisper, her voice sounding with despondency.

"I just, I can't Kimba."

"Tell me.. Please, put my mind at ease baby" Cheryl intakes a deep breath and kisses Kimberley once again before confessing.

"Because it's not fair for.. For her. Why should I carry a baby when I gave her up?.. It's not fair."

"Would you ever want to go and like.. I don't know.. Find her?" Cheryl ponders the question, she's thought about this one too many times, and she nods in reply. Because she does want to find her daughter, she wants to see the life the teen lives. Was she happy? Did she make the right decision?

"Maybe one day-"

"What if it's too late?"

"I'm scared it's already too late" Their eyes pour into each other's souls, the silence making it too intense to look away.

"Can we stop there for tonight?" Kimberley nods and kisses Cheryl goodnight.

"I love you.. No matter what." Cheryl confesses as sleep slowly eases it's way into their world.

"I love you always."