Harry had gone through a lot of changes in the week following his confrontation with Draco. He cut his hair, and Draco mourned the loss of what he used to be able to thread his fingers through. His looks to Harry were no longer glaring, but wistful and full of longing. The winter holiday couldn't come fast enough.

Draco spent a lot of his time in the library hiding from everyone, but he needed to finish his last painting. It was very early in the morning, so he assumed he would be alone. Of course, he was wrong, and walked into a very heartbreaking scene.

Harry had never gotten the chance to play that Taylor Swift song he had promised Draco, but Draco was getting a song now.

"I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you've still got it in your drawer even now

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone
And that magic's not here no more
And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all

'Cause there we are again on that little town street
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed
And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on a tee-ball team
You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well"

Draco's tears mixed with the paint on his palette. He needed Harry back, because his scarf was not making up for his lack of company, and Harry's scent was fading from it.

The next day, Draco paid Ron a visit.

"I was wondering when you'd finally show up. Cutting it a little close to the holiday aren't you?"

"How do I fix this?"

"You need to talk to him and tell him what you're hiding from him."

"I'm not hiding anything," Draco said defensively.

"So it was the kiss then? I'm not buying that. It's so obvious that you fancy him. What are you so afraid of? Because I can tell you that you're making Harry's worst fear come true whether you meant to or not."

"My mother sent me a letter," Draco began curtly, looking everywhere that wasn't Ron, "asking when I was bringing my boyfriend home."

Ron was quiet, waiting for Draco to continue.

"I don't want them using Harry to try to improve the family name. I'm clearly incapable of showing it, but I care about him a lot. I was supposed to marry Astoria Greengrass and father an heir, despite my 'proclivities' as my father would say.

It scared me, that we got so close so fast. The past month, it's like he actually was my boyfriend, and everything was so easy. Our dates were so well planned, and he took care of me.

Then that article came out and I was reminded of what I am. What I stood for, what I did. And I don't know how he can look past all of that."

"First of all, they were definitely dates. Harry was happy to have you in any way that he could. He's never been able to have anything as his own. He thinks that he doesn't deserve you, and in his mind, you proved him right by turning on him."

"How do I fix this?"

"As Harry's brother, I can't tell you that. This is something you need to figure out on your own. Prove to me that you're worthy of him."

"I'm not."

"And that is part of your problem, Malfoy. Do you think if I blamed you for anything that happened during the war that I would let you anywhere near Harry? My brother is dead, Malfoy. If I thought this was in any way your fault, you wouldn't be here in my room right now. It's your job to fix this."

"Tell him you want to meet him at the tree by the Great Lake later tonight please. I'll fix this."

"Okay."

Naturally, Draco skipped his classes for the whole day, and Harry hated that he still cared. His mood only soured when he walked outside into the bitter cold, missing his scarf.

"Ron, it's freezing out here. Why couldn't we have met inside?," Harry asked, thankful when he walked into a warming charm.

"Because you wouldn't have come," Draco replied softly.

"What do you want?"

"I want to apologize. I wasn't fair to you, and instead of talking to you about what happened, I drank and I shut you out. I'm like my father in the worst ways, and I still have to unlearn that. Can I please have a few minutes of your time?"

"Fine."

Harry hated how he caved so easily to what Draco wanted. His heart ached for the other man.

"I know I pretend that it doesn't bother me, but those articles hurt me. Every negative thought that I have ever had about myself is there, written by someone else and printed for everyone to read. I try to tell myself that these things aren't true, but when other people see them and publish them, it makes them real.

My mother... she sent me a letter after the article was published. I just... Here."

Harry read it, and Draco watched him mouth the word "boyfriend."

"That's what upset you then."

"It's not that she wrote... that... it's that I know they want to use you to improve the family name. I know I'm awful at showing it sometimes, but I really do care about you Harry. I thought I could prevent you from getting hurt, but I hurt you in the process, and I'm so sorry. I wasn't in the right state of mind that night, but I should have talked to you.

I have always been told that my purpose is to provide an heir and carry on the Malfoy name. It doesn't feel like I matter for anything else, but I mattered to you, and I should have realized that sooner. You spend so long being told that you don't matter and suddenly all of that changes, and I was having a hard time believing that.

I know that we're not friends anymore, but I still want to give you your Christmas present if you'll allow me to."

"I miss you Draco, but I can't keep doing this. It hurts to have someone get so close, and then decide that I'm not enough anymore. I opened up to you, and that's so hard for me to do, and I don't know if I want to go through this again. I need some time."

"I understand."

Harry nodded at him, and began to walk away. He paused, turning to look at Draco over his shoulder.  

"For the record Draco, I didn't mind being called your boyfriend. It wasn't an insult."

Draco closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. Maybe this could still be salvaged. He hoped his Christmas gift could help.

Another nightmare plagued Harry that night, and he woke up shaking and angry. His worries about losing Draco were infiltrating his dreams. He hadn't dreamed about Draco dying in months, and even though he knew Draco was fine, he had to see him.

Harry quietly entered Draco's room, and exhaled when he found him asleep in his bed. He leaned against the closed door, trying to regulate his breathing.

"Scarhead?"

"Yeah," Harry breathed out shakily.

"Come here."

Harry's feet moved faster than his brain, but it didn't matter when Draco wrapped Harry up with his blanket, having him lean against Draco for support.

"What happened?"

"You died."

"I'm okay Harry. I'm right here."

"We're gonna be okay?," Harry asked.

"We are. You can stay if you want. I won't misread the situation. I'll give you the space that you need."

"Will you hum for me again?"

"Of course I will."

Draco hummed well after Harry finally fell back asleep, his fingers carding through Harry's hair. He missed this. He missed him.

"I won't let you go again," Draco whispered.

Harry woke up and immediately felt awkward. Draco had woken up before him, and was running his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Is this okay?," Draco asked, fingers hesitating.

"It's fine."

Harry allowed himself to linger in the embrace a little bit longer before forcing himself to get up.

"Thank you."

"Can I ask what happened?"

"Snape wasn't there to save you," was Harry's seemingly simple reply.

"Back then, I wished you had succeeded."

"And now?"

"I'll let you know," Draco replied with a shrug, before pulling the blankets tighter around himself.

"What are you doing for Christmas?"

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet. They want me home but it..."

"It doesn't feel like home," Harry said knowingly. "Can we talk now?"

Draco's eyebrows rose in surprise. He was almost certain Harry would have walked away from him, for the last time.

"Okay. But, sit with your back towards me. I have things to say and I can't say them when I'm looking at you."

Draco turned around on the bed, and relaxed when he felt the pressure of Harry's back against.

"Why didn't you talk to me that night?," Harry asked. "I thought we had a great night, and then you ghosted me."

This is why Draco couldn't look at him. He would fall apart at seeing just how plainly he had hurt Harry by being selfish.

"I don't know, but I wish I had. We did have a great night, but I was terrified. It felt like a date and I- And then the Prophet was there taking photos and you gave me your scarf and then kissed me on the cheek and I just knew it wouldn't last because I'm me and I ruin any chance of a good thing that I have."

"Did you want it to be a date?," Harry asked quietly, his hand gently brushing against Draco's.

"Yes," he whispered back.

Harry grabbed Draco's hand in his own.

"I thought I was being quite obvious in taking you out on dates, but I suppose I wasn't. Is that why you freaked out when I was talking about our future?"

"Yes. I didn't want you getting your hopes up."

"You were giving me mixed signals. I would have liked to kiss you, but you looked scared, so I just kissed you on the cheek. You didn't speak to me again after that, and then I came into your room to find you drinking at 3 in the morning, and I hated myself for doing that to you."

"Harry, that wasn't your fault. I saw the Prophet and I got that letter from my mother and I started overthinking, and I didn't stop."

"So did I, when you looked like you'd rather be anywhere but with me in the photo," Harry replied with a quiet laugh. "I was looking at you like you had all of the answers, and you wanted to be nowhere near me."

Harry began to move his hand away, but Draco clutched onto it.

"Do you know that I grew up hearing stories about you? How great Harry Potter was, how he was going to save all of us. I made my mother tell me stories about you for years, and I dreamed of meeting you and being your best friend. I massively fucked it up when we did meet, and I don't think I've ever forgiven myself for that. For Salazar's sake I put you down on my Christmas list as a gift I wanted when I was 5 years old.

And then I have you, and things are so good and so easy when we're together. I feel like I can finally breathe. Like I'm more than what everyone assumes I am. And then we go out into the wizarding world and I'm reminded that everything I tell myself not to believe must be true, if it keeps being written about and published in the papers.

Just knowing that you needed me, and I let you down. I felt sick to my stomach, Harry. You trusted me, and then I wasn't Draco to you, I was Malfoy," Draco spat in disgust, "and that hurt most of all. To know that you believed in me, and then I reverted back to that bully and you rightfully wanted nothing to do with me."

"I just needed to understand Draco. I don't want you to be afraid of talking to me. Talking like this? This is okay for me. It works because I know you're there and you're listening to me, even if we aren't looking at each other."

"Is there... is there something between you and Wood?"

Draco cringed as soon as he asked, and Harry's laughter only made it worse.

"Absolutely not. I mean yeah he's attractive and all, but he's not my type. He only did that so that no one would sit next to me on the couch because they were all staring at me."

"That should have been me, and I'm so sorry Scarhead. I want to fix this, if you'll let me."

"You already have Pumpkin," Harry replied with a grin, leaning his head back on Draco's shoulder so he could smile up at him.

"I hate you," Draco retorted automatically.

"No you don't."

"No, I don't," Draco replied with a sigh, leaning his head against Harry's.