As you follow Dave into the store, grocery list in hand, you mindlessly listen to him talk. You think he just likes to hear to himself speak, but hey, he's dead. Let him have his fun. "So how did you do that, anyway?" Dave asks as you walk through the produce. "I mean you just touched him and he was out like a light. Do you use that often? Can you use that on dead people? I wonder if I can possess you... I guess not. You're dead, too," He rambles as you pluck a few ripe apples to put into a plastic bag, tying it off.
"Yeah, I guess," you murmur to yourself as you stick the bag into the cart and continue on your way.
He walks alongside you and goes on. "Is it fun to be a vampire? Wait. If vampires are real, then werewolves must be, too, right?"
"Do you always ask this many questions?" You grumble as you grab a bunch of bananas and a head of lettuce and set them in the cart next to the apples.
Dave taps his chin. "I think so. But who has time to remember things like that? I'm dead now. All I want to do is learn everything I can."
"Curiosity killed the cat," you utter under your breath.
He laughs at that. "You've got a twisted sense of humor. I like that. That's where I must've gotten it from, Pops."
You grimace, placing a jug of milk with the other items. "Don't call me that. You and I aren't related."
Dave flash steps to the front of your cart, placing his hands on it and causing it to jerk to a halt. "That's where you're wrong, old man." He grins, almost deviously as he says, "You see, I know a lot more than you think I do."
"Pray tell," you reply in a hiss as you attempt to yank the cart away to no avail.
"I can't yet. That would ruin all the fun," he purrs, letting go of the cart. "Oh, and by the way," he motions to a box of Cosmic Brownies. "You should totally buy those for your favorite grandson."
Huffing in aggravation, you toss a box in the cart and wheel it away. "You aren't my grandson."
"What makes you so certain?" He asks as he attempts to discretely open the box.
"Knock that off," you growl quietly, shooing him away as you glance around to make sure no ones noticed. "I'm certain because that requires me to have been in a relationship with a woman. That's impossible because I'm gay."
Dave barks out a sharp laugh, shaking his head. "The alzheimer's must be kicking in then, gramps."
"What would you know?" You retort, scanning over the frozen meat as you pick out a package of steaks, licking your lips at the sight of the blood and reluctantly dropping it into the cart.
"I've met my grandmother," He muses as he sits on the freezer. "She remembers you fondly. The way you rocked her body... I'm sure it was unforgettable."
You pick up a package of hamburger meat, doing your best not to rip it apart in aggravation as you snap, "I didn't touch her or anyone other woman. Ever. Somebody's been lying to you. You and I aren't related."
Dave clicks his tongue in disapproval, shaking his head. "You're in denial. Do you not want to admit what you've done to her? Or are you just struggling to live with the guilt?"
You push the cart through his body, which ripples and dissipates as you move past. "I'm not in denial about anything. You are."
"I beg to differ, my good man," he says as he follows, a smug look on his face. "You're in love with him, aren't you?" He asks innocently.
You stop dead in your tracks. "I'm not in love with anyone."
Dave rolls his eyes and moans, "You poor, miserable soul! Are you that ashamed of yourself that you refuse to admit that you've fallen head over heels in love with my fiancé?" He shakes his head and sighs softly. "What will he think of you once he finds out the truth?"
"There's nothing for him to find out about. I haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not in love with him. I haven't known him long enough to have fallen in love with him," you say, but it's mostly to reaffirm your own beliefs.
"Oh, of course not, Poppop. A man like you to do something as wrong as kill your own grandson and then steal away his one true love like a thief in the night?" He smirks and spits, "Never you."
"What do you want from me?" You ask in a defeated whisper. "Is this torment for everything I've done?"
"Wouldn't that be ironically awesome?" He asks as he paces the aisle. "As much as I'd love to say yes, I have a number of reasons for pestering you all of a sudden."
"Tell me, then. Tell me and get this over with," you practically beg, growing rather tired of these games.
Dave chuckles and coos, "What's the use of that? You'll never learn anything that way. Besides, I sort of like watching you squirm."
You groan softly. "You're acting like a child."
"It's one of the things Karkat loved most about me," he smirks. Although you attempt to remain placid, you can't help but feel slightly pained at that. He seems to take notice of it, because he decides to throw in, "You know who else loves my immaturity? Jake English."
Your head snaps in his direction, your eyes wide with shock. "H... How do you..."
"Careful, Grandfather. Curiosity killed the cat." He winks and chirps, "We'll be seeing each other again very soon. I can promise you that. We have so much more bonding to do, wouldn't you say?"
You blink and shake your head, stammering, "W-Wait-!" but before you could finish, he was gone.