Harry wipes his hands along the sides of his pants. He feels stupid pacing around his apartment. The khaki pants that he pulled out of the back of his closet don't quite fit right anymore and the polo he's wearing hasn't been ironed in a couple of months. A spiderman bandaid wraps itself around his fingers as he clutches to the flower he's holding for dear life. Logically, he knew that roses had thorns, he's just never handled roses personally and didn't think they would be nearly as sharp. 

A chill runs down his spine and he's not sure if it's the breeze or his nerves, but he blames the breeze regardless. One part of Harry tells him that he should just text Louis and cancel before he embarrasses himself too hard. On the other hand, he wants to go through with this. 

Before he has the chance to run, he hears a knock at his door. Harry gives himself a minute before going over and opening it. Louis stands in the doorway wearing a pair of light-wash denim pants and a simple orange button-down. Harry steps aside to allow Louis in.

"I didn't know we were dressing up or I would've put on better trousers," Louis chuckles. Harry turns to face him, rose in hand. He feels dumb doing this. 

It's not like this is the first date that Harry's ever been on. In fact, he's been on loads of first dates with loads of different women. This one, however, is different. Louis is different.  

"I got you this," Harry says as he offers the rose to Louis. Louis' face lights up as he accepts the flower. 

"Shit, I left something in the car, I'll be right back," Louis curses. He gives Harry a lop-sided smile before turning out of the apartment.

As soon as Louis turns the corner, Harry lets out a breath. He takes this opportunity to rub his sweaty palms along his pants again. Truly, he shouldn't be this nervous. It's just Louis. They've hung out plenty of times before. He knows this time shouldn't be different, neither of them have changed after all... not really. 

Louis' voice interrupts Harry's thoughts as he comes back around the corner with a small bundle of roses in hand. They're of various colors, some vibrant red or a gentle pink or snow white. Harry's heart beats a little faster in his chest as he takes the flowers from Louis. 

"I've never gotten flowers before... thanks," Harry hums as he sets the roses on the island. Together, Harry's single rose looks pathetic next to Louis' bundle but he tries not to be too harsh towards himself. 

Louis smiles, "Well, now you have."

Harry leads Louis into the living room. It took forever to clean up, not that there was anything really to clean up. Harry found himself spending the last couple of days meticulously cleaning his apartment, worried about Louis seeing dust or dirt in any of the corners. He knows that Louis' been here before and has probably already seen his fair share of messes, but it's different. 

"It looks great in here, Haz," Louis breathes as they step into the living area. 

Harry added a couple of pillows and blankets to the couch, unsure what all Louis would want. He made sure to grab a knit blanket and a softer felt one in case Louis had a preference. Little lights hang around the couch and television as well. 

Nervously, Harry grabs a handful of M&Ms from one of the bowls on the coffee table. Unsure of Louis' favorite snacks, Harry bought some of everything. A bowl for sour gummies, some pretzels, chocolate candy, or gummy bears sits on the table. A couple of various bags of chips line his kitchen island as well. 

"I don't think we'll be running out of sweets anytime soon. Did you sell them out," Louis giggles. Harry feels his cheeks go pink as Louis takes a single gummy bear from the bowl to eat. 

"I wasn't sure what you'd like," Harry admits softly. He pops a couple of candies into his mouth to distract Louis from what he says. 

"Honestly I would've been okay with sitting on a patio and having a couple of beers. This is perfect," Louis replies. 

~_~_~

Harry finds his gaze falling upon Louis halfway through the movie they started. It's not the first time he's caught himself doing it, but it's the first time he'll admit to it. He's not blind, even when he thought he was straight he would admit that Louis was handsome for a guy. Back then he would've blamed it on some sort of jealousy or envy of Louis' looks. Now he understands it a little better, even though it's tough to navigate. 

"A picture would last longer," Louis hums as he turns to catch Harry looking at him. He feels a blush creep up his cheeks and he turns back to the movie quickly. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Harry replies back, unable to contain his smile. He spares another glance in Louis' direction and sees that a smile rests on the other man's face too. 

"I think you know what I'm talking about." Louis' arm moves to rest along the top of the sofa, his hand inching dangerously close to Harry's shoulder. He feels like a middle-schooler or a giggly school-girl, unsure if he wants to move closer into Louis' touch or stay where he is on the couch. 

He turns his gaze back to the movie, but he's not watching it. Truthfully, Harry doesn't know what's playing or what it's about. Louis picked it out. In an attempt to understand the plot Harry tries to devote attention to the screen but he finds himself paying more attention to the fingers that have started to graze his shoulder. 

"Are you watching this shit," Louis says loudly. Harry's pulled from the trance of Louis' touch at the sound of the other man's voice. 

"No," Harry admits. 

The TV screen goes black as Louis turns the movie off. Louis shifts in his spot to turn towards Harry, moving just enough so that his hand can reach Harry's shoulder entirely. The two are silent as Louis plays with the collar of Harry's shirt, neither knowing how to make the first move. 

"I was thinkin' about how weird it is that I'm so nervous now, but like... we've proper snogged before. It's ridiculous really, I'm nervous about holding your hand for fucks sake," Louis laughs. His confession tightens the knot in Harry's stomach. 

"It's weird what alcohol does to you," Harry murmurs. Both knowing the true power alcohol can have. 

"Fuck it," Louis whispers as he moves towards Harry in one swift motion. 

They sit, inches apart. Louis' blue eyes seem to gleam with something that Harry can't quite put his finger on. Proximity alone sends a shiver down Harry's spine. Carefully, Louis moves his hand to the side of Harry's neck. 

Harry knows that Louis won't kiss him. He said it before when Harry found out about his family. If they're going to kiss, it's going to be on Harry. So far, Louis' initiated everything from the date itself to the hand grazing to their almost kiss. He knows that it's his turn to do this, but it feels impossible. 

There's a pleading look in Louis' eyes, one that begs for Harry to take the final step... jump off of the ledge. Harry's careful about his movements as he lifts a hand to Louis' cheek. It's warm and tinted a rosy pink. His thumb brushes over the skin next to Louis' mouth, trying to acquaint himself with the idea of it before committing. 

Eons seem to pass before Harry bites the bullet and leans in. Louis, impatiently, meets him halfway. It's quick, and over before Harry knows it. Blue and green eyes both share a guiltiness as if they've done something wrong. Harry's nervous for a second, questioning if Louis regrets it. His anxiety washes away when Louis leans back in quickly. 

Harry doesn't know if it counted as their first kiss... it would be their first sober kiss and the only one that Harry wants to commit to his memory. Kissing Louis is something that he never wants to forget, not again. He can't seem to stop himself as Louis' lips move with his rhythmically.

His body moves on autopilot as Harry shifts closer to Louis, wanting to put as little space as possible between them. He wants to forget the rest of the world and live in this moment forever, finally happy, finally at peace with himself. It's as if the final puzzle piece has slid into place. The years of uncertainty and wanting are finally rewarded.

Harry is the one to pull away first. Louis lets out an angered huff as he does, but he doesn't care. He wants to see Louis, his hair messy and ruffled, blotchy dark red lips, and a cloudy look in his eyes. Harry knows that if he were to look at himself it wouldn't be much better. 

"Do you wanna slow down," Louis whispers, his eyebrows furrowing as he rests his hands on the side of Harry's neck. 

"I just wanna enjoy this," Harry breathes. Louis leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead before bringing him to his chest. 

They lay on the sofa, Harry's ear pressed against Louis. He listens to his heartbeat as they soak up the feeling of being with one another. This must be what true happiness is, Harry decides. Louis' arms wrap themselves around Harry, pulling him in, protecting him. 

And as sleep slowly beckons to Harry, he feels no safer than in Louis' arms. 

~_~_~

Hey guys! One chapter left coming to you on Monday. I know that this has been a really slow burn, but I promise that it'll pay off here soon teehee. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! ~B