Inhale

Exhale

Just breathe in,

and right back out.

Clenching the edge of my dresser, I slowly breath in and out, trying to slow the whirlwind of forgotten memories rushing back to me.

It's been happening constantly since I left the school that day last week, that heart-wrenching day. When Steve—

I gasp as my head gives another painful throb. Old memories of Steve and I resurface, like they do every time I think of him. That's what it is, it's like the plunger that has been blocking my memories of my life before the coma has suddenly come loose and now the floodgates have flown open. But it's not just him, in fact lately the slightest thing has triggered even the smallest of memories.

Like when I got home that night and saw my bed, the same bed I've seen since I woke up front the coma, and a thousand different memories of just that bed came flooding into my mind, each one fighting for my attention. It's quite painful honestly, gives me the worst headache.

I continue to take deep breaths as I look at my reflection. Thinking back to when I first woke up in the hospital, I remember how nauseated I was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. How confused and distant I felt. I had no idea who Peyton Comber was, all I knew was Olivia Wright.

And now I must be both. Stop hiding, stop pretending, stop faking. I've changed since three years ago, I'm not just the same fun-loving Peyton anymore, I've lived another life and I've learned from it. I can't stop running from who I really am, as cheesy as that sounds.

Because whether I like it or not, I am Olivia Wright...but I am also Peyton Comber. Like that doctor said that first day in the hospital: "Peyton Comber is your name, but who you are is not a name."

I think I finally know what he means.

"Peyton! Hurry up, you're going to be late again!" Rachel calls from downstairs.

I bite my lip. "Coming! Just one second!"

"It better be just a second!"

Sighing, I shove my countless books and papers into my backpack. But I also make sure to grab the folder containing many note filled papers about the organization X and my connection to them. I have to make sure that I don't leave anything out when I tell Kevin.

Kevin

I'm so ready to see him. These past five days without him have been absolute torture. I've nearly exploded from not telling him all I've found out, though its helped that I can talk to Jacklyn about this stuff now. But still, she's not Kevin.

Though that's not the only reason I need to see him. Steve said that if I don't cut off ties with Kevin then they'll, meaning X, will have to remove him themselves. According to them he's in the way of their diabolical plans to get rid of me. But...I simply can't do that, I need Kevin. Without him I just...can't think straight. Nothing makes sense anymore, at least the little that did doesn't.

So I have to protect him and keep him safe, nobody is going to hurt him.

Nobody

"Peyton I swear if you don't get down here this instant I'll-"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yell, rushing down the stairs. Rachel catches me right before I fly out the door, kisses my cheek, and says she loves me.

I smile. "I love you too."

Then I run out the door, into my car, and drive to school.

I drive to Kevin, hoping there are no bumps along the way.

***

The hallways are still packed with people when I walk in. I follow the same routine I've done for the past week: I walk straight to my locker, only stopping to say hi to the few people who I actually like, then I brush past Steve and his crowd, forcing my eyes to stare straight ahead.

Word got around fast that Steve and I broke up. I'm not sure what they think the reason is, nor what Steve told them it was, but I really don't care. I don't need their approval anymore, I just want Kevin safe.

After slamming my locker shut, I search the sea of people for Jacklyn(being almost six foot really helps in this situation). Looking for her and then walking to class is part of my newfound routine. But this time she's not the only one I'm looking for. My need to see Kevin seems to multiply. I find myself pushing past people to find him. Ugh this would be so much easier if he weren't so short!

I bump into people, mumbling an apology after I shove them out of the way. I try to get past someone but this time I get pushed back. Stumbling into the wall, despair starts to build up in me. It's too loud and too crowded, I'm not going to be able to find him. My hands start to shake in frustration. All the chatter begins to hurt my head and I start to get claustrophobic.

I don't think I even realized how much I missed Kevin until now. I mean, yes, he's all I thought about last week, besides the occasional whirlwind of memories, but I wasn't longing for him like I am now. I just...I need to see him. Now.

I jump when somebody grabs my wrist. I sigh with both relief and disappointment when I see it's just Jacklyn.

She grabs my shoulders. "Girl what are you doing over here looking all depressed? You've been looking forward to this day for a week! Glasses is back! So stop standing here and go see him! He's so excited to see you, he sounded really urgent and-"

"You've seen him?!" I interrupt. "Where is he?"

She grins. "Sounds like you're pretty urgent yourself."

I grit my teeth in frustration. "I don't have time for teasing Jacklyn! I just...can't wait any longer, okay? Can you please tell me where he is?"

Her grin gets even wider and she raises her eyebrows. "Oh so you need him that much. Okay girl I see you! The only reason he hasn't come running to you yet is because Mr Roberts is giving him a buckets load of work to do from last week."

"So he's there?" I ask frantically, already beginning to walk that way.

"Yep he's in there with Allie."

I stop walking. "Allie? Why would he be in there with her?" I ask in confusion.

She shrugs and then groans. "I don't know, does it matter? Ask him yourself. I swear if that stops you from going to go see him I will strangle you right here and I will not regret it."

I step back. "Um please don't, I kinda need to live. Plus it won't, it's just...weird."

Why would he be with Allie? Allie hates me! He knows that! Why would he want to be around someone who hates me?!

Wait are they-

No, they can't be...can they? I mean...

Kevin is allowed to date whoever he wants Peyton, and if that just happens to be Allie Baker then deal with it. He's your best friend after all, and best friends support each other.

Right. My friend, what else would he be? And-and besides, it's not like he didn't support me and Steve when we were together. He was such a good friend.

An amazing friend.

My best friend.

All I can do is return the favor and push down the irrational jealousy that I'm, for some reason, feeling.

Jacklyn pokes my shoulder hard. "Stop your stupid overthinking and go already! Class is about to start!"

She's right, the hallways are starting to clear out and there's less noise. I know I won't be able to focus in the slightest if I don't go see him now. So I nod and I walk as fast as I can to go find Kevin.

I search the halls desperately for him on the way. I quicken my pace, math class seems a lot farther away than usual. Usually it wouldn't take as nearly as long but since this is a "special occasion" it-

"Yes I have it all Mr Roberts, just let me put it all in my locker and I'll be right b-" The brown eyed boy speaking cuts off when he meets my eyes. He stands next to a petite girl with frizzy hair, though neither of them are paying each other any attentions. Her eyes are fixated on the floor and his are on mine.

It all feels so dramatic when all the papers in his hands fall to the ground. Then, without speaking, we're both walking towards each other. His arms wrap around mine. The tightness of the hug comforts me, making me want to cry from all the stress and betrayal from last week. His warmth makes me think of drinking hot chocolate on a snowy day. I squeeze my arms around him tighter, soaking in the fact that in this moment he is safe. I don't want to let go of him.

But when we do eventually pull apart we both say simultaneously, "I have so much to tell you."

"And I have so much to teach you." Mr Roberts says, standing at the edge of the doorway. "I would suggest you two to have your little reunion afterwards so I won't have to send you to the office for skipping." He speaks sternly but I can see the slight amusement in his eyes.

I look at Kevin and nod. "Later."

"Later," He agrees, "after rehearsal."

This time we both nod, and with that we let go of each other, pick up Kevin's papers, and walk together into the classroom.

***

The day seemed to drag on forever. Each minute felt like an hour and each hour felt like a year. So basically I felt like I had aged about seven years by the time I got to rehearsal.

Jacklyn and I walk into the cafeteria/temporary auditorium together. We walk past Steve sitting at his usual table surrounded by his usual crowd, though he stops talking when he sees us. Or more specifically, when he sees me.

I do my best to ignore him.

We head over to where Kevin and, unfortunately, Allie are sitting. Jacklyn greets them. "Hey you two! Glad you're back Glasses, I don't think any of us could take Ms Drew trying to sing the Beast part any longer!"

Kevin grins. "Yeah Allie said that she's horrible at it."

I try not to make a face, Since when do they have conversations with each other?

Allie nods. "I swear I get a migraine the minute she opens her mouth." She laughs. Then she glances at me, looks away, and then glances back. Her mouth opens to say something but then she decides against it and closes it again.

Jacklyn studies me with squinted eyes. Then she turns to Allie. "So Allie, when did you and Glasses become besties?" She asks bluntly.

Both her and Kevin seem to tense up. He starts to fidget with his hands and she raises her eyebrows at him, as if asking a question with her eyes.

I'm not liking the whole eye contact conversations thing.

But, you know, it's fine. I mean what do I have to be annoyed about? If Allie and Kevin don't want to share how they got extremely close in a week then that's just fine. It's none of my business. I'm not even going to make a big deal about it. Nope, not going to do that.

Okay but really, what is the deal with those two? Allie has never been anything but horrible to me, me who is his best friend, or at least was, and he's suddenly acting like they've been friends since childhood!

It's all right to be jealous you know—

I'm not! I am not jealous, I'm just...heavily irritated. Yep, that's it.

I snap to attention when someone gently nudges my leg.

"We really need to talk." Kevin says lowly.

"We really do." I agree quietly. "Now?"

He shakes his head and then nods to Ms Drew, who is making her way up front to start rehearsal. "After, we're going to need the time. It's kind of a lot."

"No kidding, I made a whole folder of everything I need to tell you so I wouldn't forget a single detail."

He laughs. "Of course you did." But his smile quickly fades into a nervous stare. "Just...don't hate me, okay?"

I roll my eyes. "When will you get it through your head that I'm never going to hate you?"

He hesitates. "After today I guess when I actually see if it's true."

I open my mouth to respond but Ms Drew calls for our attention. She smiles at us. "Before we start today's rehearsal I would like to remind you all that opening night is this Friday. So we have four more days to make sure this show is the best the audition will have ever seen! So let's focus today and really get this show down pact!"

Without another word, Kevin and I, plus Jacklyn and Allie, all go take our starting positions on stage. Me as Belle, Kevin as Beast, Jacklyn as Miss Potts, and Allie as Cogsworth.

We're running the whole show today. Normally I would be excited, but not today. I'm way too impatient to tell Kevin everything to be excited.

But I manage to get through it. I get past my scenes with Steve, which are much easier now that I'm actually repulsed by his corny, flirtatious lines. At least that's one good thing that came out of the whole betraying-me-thing, me being able to play my part as Belle better.

I sing each of my notes with a clear, melodic tone. As does Kevin, though he's a little rusty from having missing rehearsal for a week. But our onstage chemistry is better than ever, at least according to Ms Drew.

Our duet had a flawless harmony. The notes seemed to soar out of our mouths. We were in perfect sync with each other during our dance together. It has always been a little difficult, him being shorter than me and everything, but this time it just felt natural, connected even. His warmth brought me back to our hug earlier this morning, and it made me not want to let go of him again.

But, before we got to the kiss, Ms Drew yelled for us to cut.

"I want the moment to be special for the actual performance," She explains to us, "I want it to be real. You two's first kiss...that kind of thing shouldn't be rehearsed."

I glance over at Kevin and he just shrugs. Though there's something in his face I can't decipher. But I don't have time to dwell on it because after that Ms Drew declares that rehearsal is over. And the minute she does I drag Kevin into the nearest janitors closet.

"Okay," I begin breathlessly as I close the door, "who's going first?"

Kevin's face is paper white. "Um I guess I'll-"

"Hold up a second." I interrupt. I crack the door open a little and peer out. I want to make sure that nobody, especially and particularly Steve, is out there trying to eavesdrop.

When I'm certain the coast is clear, I close the door again and turn back to Kevin. "Sorry, go ahead."

He takes a slow, long, deep breath. "Peyton...you've asked me so many questions these past months that I've refused to answer. Like why I sat with you at the hospital that day, why I broke down that day at my house, and why—why everyone hates me. Well...I'm going to tell you, and you have to promise not to interrupt or say anything until I'm finished, okay?"

I nod. "I won't, I promise."

Technically I kind of already know why everyone hates him, Steve told me. But I also know that Steve has not been proven to tell the entire truth. Plus it'll be so much better to hear the truth from Kevin than from Steve.

He closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. "Okay, well, here we go. So...you know I have a brother, you slept in his room after...well, you know. You saw his picture and said you didn't know I had a brother. I told you he was gone and you assumed he was dead, and I didn't correct you. Do you remember that?"

I nod quizzically. Something fuzzy is fighting its way into my brain. "Yeah I remember that, you said that I shouldn't give him or you any condolences...I was so confused."

"Well, like I said, I didn't correct you on that. Because he's—he's not dead Peyton, he's in prison. And he has been for three years...do you get where I'm going with this?"

The fuzziness in my brain is growing stronger, but I still can't make out what it is. But I do know where Kevin's going with this. So I once again nod.

He clears his throat. "Good. Well not good but...at least you have an idea on how this ends. So, um, my brother he...he was never good at staying sober. And one day he came home as drunk as could be. He—he was violent and he forced me to get in the truck Peyton. I didn't want to I swear! But I had to...he said he would shoot me till I bled to death if I didn't and I-" He chokes on his words. He buries his face into his hands.

I walk over to where he's sitting and gently squeeze his hand. He looks up at me and I can see the stains of pain, guilt, and self-hatred on his face. I sit down next to him and wrap my arms around him.

"I know," I whisper softly, "I know what happens next, you don't have to go on."

He leans his head into my shoulder. "Peyton I am so so sorry. For everything. For not telling you sooner, for lying about my brother, everything. I don't deserve to be your friend."

I grip his shoulders and look him dead in the eye. "Don't even say that. Kevin I'm not angry with you, and like I've said so many times before, I don't hate you. I'm sorry for pushing you so hard to tell me, this is extremely difficult to tell someone, especially me. I shouldn't have pushed you. And you do deserve to be my friend, you always have."

He gives a small smile. "Thanks, I'll try to remember that." He brushes his tears away and then turns back to me. "Believe it or not that was only the introduction of what I have to tell you. But I'll let you have a turn to drop some bombshells. Oh, but I have a question first."

"What is it?"

"How did you know the rest of what happened? Did you just guess or did somebody else tell you?" He asks.

I bite my lip. "Uh I'll answer that question in just a second. But first, what was your brother's name?" The fuzzy memories in my mind seem to get a tiny bit clearer when I ask the question.

He looks a little confused but answers anyway. "Brayden, Brayden Helms why?"

I gasp painfully as a sharp ache slices through my brain. Thousands of memories fight for my attention. Each one involving a certain boy.

"So, this is the magical new recruit I've heard so much about."

"Wow Blondie you got some spunk! You and my brother would not get along."

"Pass me a drink, will ya?"

A face stricken with rage, shimmering with sweat, hands lunging for my throat.

Reaching out to shake my hand, "Name's Brayden, the last name doesn't matter here."

He looked like a Helms, the one my parents said whose father had left them, but I kept my mouth shut.

Struggling to get away from him, hiding in a cramped cabinet, watching as he ran to his house, shouting threats in a drunk rage.

I hid there till the others found me and-

"Peyton!" A voice cries out.

I snap back to reality, finding myself on my knees, clutching my head. Kevin stands next to me looking extremely concerned. "Are you okay?! What exactly just happened?" He asks worriedly

I take deep breaths to steady myself. "I-It was memories, forgotten ones."

His expression still looks puzzled."Ooookay...doesn't really explain what just happened."

"My memories have been coming back, and not just with extremely specific triggers, but with almost everything I see. And, as I'm sure you could see, it's very painful. Each memory is fighting for my attention, resurfacing at the same time, it's a lot to process at once." I explain, massaging my temples.

"Wow I bet. I mean at least your memories are coming back, that's good isn't it?"

I hesitate. "Yeah I guess."

I mean of course it's amazing that my memories are finally coming back, it's extraordinary progress to be made over six months. It's just...some memories are better off forgotten.

"When did they start?" Kevin questions.

Oh boy won't he just love this. I bite my lip even harder. "And that is where this whole thing begins. You, uh, ready?"

He shrugs. "I guess. Fire away."

I look at my hands. "So first things first, Steve and I...well we...broke up."

He doesn't look fazed, though he does freeze for a moment before saying, "That's why you kept giving him cold, hostile looks during rehearsal."

I scrunch up my nose. "I did not give him cold, hostile looks!"

"You really did."

"Whatever," I wave my hands, "that's not the main point here! The main point is why we broke up!"

"And that is..." Kevin prompts.

All of a sudden, my fury and heartache from the day's events comes back to me, as fresh as ever. I don't mean to shout at Kevin but I do. "You told me to go looking Kevin, to take a "peek into my past" and I did. Do you know what I found out? I found out how stupid of a person I was. I found out how I joined a dangerous, insane organization because I thought it'd be fun and adventurous to try to take it down all by myself! I mean how crazy was I to think I could do that at fifteen?

"So I went even further after I saw all the letters, and the newspaper, and the box with symbol X on it. I went to the address on the envelope. And you know what I found? The place was nearly burnt to the ground. I did that Kevin, me. But, surprise surprise, the organization still exists. I know because they were there. They were discussing things about notes, you know like the notes in my locker. I recognized one of the voices, and...it really panicked me. I accidentally made a noise and they heard it."

Kevin leans forward, listening intently to my every word. I try to ignore the fear in his eye, knowing that it will only grow as I speak.

I continue. "They chased me, and Kevin one of the people was him. The guy that banged on your door and made us scared for our lives. And I just ran and ran until I passed out from fear and exhaustion. They really want to kill me Kev, really bad." I shudder.

"But anyway, Jacklyn found me and made me tell her everything. So, I did and we went to the school, here, together because the voice I heard had said they were going to be there to leave another note, and I needed to see if I was right about their identity." I pause, not wanting to go on.

"It was Steve, wasn't it?" Kevin asks gently, filling the silence.

Tears prick my eyes but I try to fight them back. "Yes, it was." I look up and bite my lip hard, trying to reel my emotions in. "Yeah it just kind of sucks, you know? I really trusted him, thought he actually cared. I mean he claims he still does but that's a load of crap. He's angry at me for breaking up with him but what did he expect? For me to be okay with him blackmailing me and telling the people who want to kill me my darkest secrets? For me to laugh and say 'no biggie' at him betraying my trust? I mean honestly! I-"

A sob escapes my lips. Oh great, here comes the emotions show again. And I haven't even gotten to the part where X is planning to hurt Kevin.

"He's a moron. A pathetic, weak moron." Kevin declares, squeezing my hand. "I am so sorry Peyton, you don't deserve that at all. I really wish it wasn't him."

"Yeah," I choke out, "me too. But hey, at least we finally have some answers now."

He smiles a little. "Yeah, that is good."

I take a breath. "Wait before you start smiling I have something else, and it's not good."

"Lovely." His grin drops.

"I made Steve read the new note he wrote Kevin and...it said that if I don't cut you out of my life then they'll do it for me. They—they want to hurt you Kev, and it's all my fault I'm really sorry. Maybe if I didn't answer that second note then they wouldn't have demanded this!"

Kevin is silent for several minutes before responding. "It's not your fault Peyton, they would've done this either way. Plus they threatened to tell everyone about your double identity, how could you refuse? How can you refuse."

"I'm not cutting you out Kevin. You mean too much to me for me to ever do that. I-I need you." I confess.

He looks surprised. "Peyton you—you mean a lot to me too...and I wouldn't want to be cut out but...they'll tell everyone about Olivia Wright, and you hate that whole th-"

"No. No I don't care anymore about that stupid coma! I'm done pretending and trying to be 'Positively Peyton'! Because, Kev, I can't win this fight with them if I'm not both Olivia and Peyton, if I'm not who I am now." I exclaim.

Kevin grins. "That sounds so corny, but I'm proud of you, really."

"Thanks," I chuckle, "now that I've told the basis of my story, how about you finish yours."

"Actually it's pretty much the same information as yours, without Steve I mean. See I went to go visit Brayden in prison with Allie, that's where she comes in, and we tried to get information out of him. And, well, we did." Kevin says.

I try to push down the same heavily irritated feeling from earlier. "Why did you have to bring Allie?" I don't add the, Instead of me part in my head because I know it would be unfair, after all I went to go visit X's headquarters without him.

"Because she has an insanely observant eye, it's really crazy what she can tell just by looking at someone. She was the lie detector, she would tell me whether Brayden was lying or telling the truth to my questions. I didn't tell her anything though, I swear. I'm sure she gathered some of it from the meeting but she doesn't know like ninety percent of it. And she hasn't asked any questions like she promised." He explains to me.

I nod slowly. "Nice to know. And you two are friends now?" I ask trying not to sound bitter.

"Yes," He admits, "we are. I like Allie, she's cool. You two would get along if you ever made up. But hey, she's not replacing my best friend. I mean how can she when my best friend is stubborn, loud, and nearly six feet tall." He grins playfully at me.

I reluctantly crack a smile. "Aw thanks I think I'm blushing." I comment dryly, making him laugh.

From there we decide to leave the cramped janitors closet and head to my house. We both agree that we need a plan, because X is going to strike at the both of us whether we like it or not. And we want to be ready for when they do.

It's time to end this thing, once and for all.

Good thing X marks the spot.

Sorry for not updating in like a month, ya girl was tad bit overwhelmed for a while but I think I've finally gotten past that. Anyways I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! -Vanna