When I was a lad, I had this desire to be different and went to the hairdressers wearing my sister's tights and patent leather shoes. 

I also had a longing to be like my Father, and whenever he went out, I would steal one of his fags, and hang it from my lips like some barroom lout.

I had a friend called Kentucky, who was a Rooster, my parents, called him my babysitter, no matter what we fried he remained by my side. 

One Christmas he disappeared, the next time I saw him was in a picture at the drive-through.