I've been trying to write and get chapters out faster, but it's just been so hard recently and I'm not sure why? It kinda sucks. I'm sorry, I'm trying <3

And I know it makes some of my readers uncomfortable, so if anyone wants me to start putting a warning about sexual themes on a chapter I will, just tell me 😁 👌🏻

Anywaaaay enjoy this mildly angst-y and terribly written chapter.

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Nico never told Will that he was transgender. He kind of hates that Will doesn't know, they have been dating for two years now, but he's to scared to come out to him.

Still, when Will asked Nico to stay the night, he accepted. They haven't ever slept in the same bed together, but sleeping in his binder once couldn't hurt, right?

He didn't think much about the empty apartment, figuring Will's roommates, Cecil and Lou Ellen, would be back later.

Will led him back to his room, and since it was fairly late, he put on a movie. He put his arm around Nico's shoulder, and Nico smiled, cuddling closer to Will. They were sitting on Will's bed, so he pulled one of the stuffed animals to his chest, hugging it.

It was half way through the movie that Will pulled him closer, planting a kiss to his forehead. Nico smiled, looking up at him. Will returned the smile and leaned down, now kissing him on the lips. Nico dropped that stuffed animal in favor of putting his hand to Will's cheek, and Will put his hands on his waist.

He didn't try to stop Will as he slowly pushed him down on his back, because Nico didn't mind kissing. He wrapped his arms around Will's neck, gently bringing him closer, if that was possible. He sighed as Will brought his hands up and down his sides, and he gently gripped at Will's hair.

Will was smiling against his lips, then he was slowly trailing down the side of Nico's jaw. He bit his lip as Will got to his neck, his breath sending shivers down his spine.

His eyes widen as one of Will's hand went up to his chest, just touching. Before Nico could really think, he brought his hand up and slapped Will. Nico was quick to cover his face with his hands, and Will put a hand to his cheek.

"Ow," he whined.

"Please get off of me," Nico murmured, voice muffled. Will shifted, sliding off of Nico's lap. Nico sat up, bringing his knees to his chest, not looking at Will.

"I'm sorry I hit you," he mumbled, "I'm kind of insecure of my chest and you just surprised me and I panicked. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable." Nico sighed in response, leaning against Will. Will puts an arm around Nico, pulling him closer.

Nico tried watching the rest of the movie, but he couldn't focus on it.

He was angry with himself, for hurting Will and not being able to talk to Will. Boyfriends should be able to talk to each other. Nico should be able to talk to Will. . .

Nico held back a groan, putting his head in his hands. Will bumps his shoulder with Nico's. Nico feels his bottom lip quivering though, because he's upset and angry with himself. He knows Will deserves so much better than him, he knows he doesn't deserve Will.

A whine escapes his throat and he pushes himself off the bed.

"Nico?" Will asks. He lets out another whine, not really trusting himself to speak, and grabs his shoes, "Wait, are you leaving?" Will asks, sounding slightly panicked. Nico nods, putting on his shoes as his eyes water.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice shaky.

"Nico," Will gets up and grabs Nico's hands gently, stopping him from tying his shoes, "Neeks, please don't go. I'm really sorry I made you uncomfortable. Please, don't go."

"Will, stop," Nico mumbled, trying to take his hands from Will's grasp.

"Nico-"

"Stop." Nico interrupted, his voice firm despite the tears. Will let go of his hands. Nico sniffled, tucking some hair behind his ear before going back to tying his shoe. When he finished, he wiped his sleeve under his eyes, walking over and slinging his back pack over his shoulder.

"Nico please stay," Will begged, following him to the door. Nico shook his head, his lips in a pout. Will grabbed one of his hands, and Nico huffed, turning to look at him. Will had tears in his eyes, and Nico had to look away. He was such a bad boyfriend.

"I- I just need to go home," he whined, trying to keep his emotions in check, "please just let me go." Will's lip quivered as he stood there, and Nico had to yank his arm from Will. Will whined, following Nico until he was walking out of the door.

When the door shut in Will's face, he started crying, thinking he had messed up and that Nico was mad at him.

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When Nico got home, he stormed through the house so he wouldn't have to talk to either Percy or Jason. He went to the kitchen, grabbing ice cream and a spoon before going to his room.

He quickly changed into his pajamas before opening his laptop, putting on one of his go to shows (Star Vs the Forces Of Evil, in this case) and sat down on his bed.

He got through two episodes before there was knocking on his door, and he suppressed a groan.

Percy came in, sitting on the other end of Nico's bed. Nico pauses his show, taking his earbuds out.

"Will asked me to tell you to talk to him," he starts. Nico glances at his phone, which he turned off. He knows he probably has thousands of texts and missed calls from Will. He sighed, taking a bite of ice cream.

"Did something happen?" Percy asks, "do you want to talk about it?" Nico pursed his lips, thinking as he swirled his spoon around his ice cream.

"Okay," he mumbled, putting the spoon down, "you aren't allowed to judge me or anything."

"Of course not." Nico looks over at a poster hanging on his wall, debating whether or not he should talk to Percy. How is it that talking to his friend is easier than talking to his boyfriend?

"Well, first of all, Will still doesn't know I'm trans," he mumbles, "and it's kinda a good thing I left because I was just going to sleep in my binder," Percy gives him a look, but he keeps talking before Percy can say anything, "and I really want to tell him, but I'm scared, even though I know I shouldn't be," he pauses for a second, "I want to be able to talk to Will about things, but I feel like if I do, than he'll realize how fucked up I am and then he won't want to be with me."

"Nico, he's your boyfriend. He wouldn't do that."

"I know," Nico whined, "logically, I know that," Nico huffed, putting his hands over his face, "but I already feel like he's going to get bored of me some day. I just- I just don't feel like I'm good enough for him, and I feel like I'm lying to him."

"You aren't lying to him, Nico. You waiting to tell him is perfectly acceptable, you should only tell him when you're ready."

"What happens when I'm never ready, though?" Nico asks, a bit angrily, but it's mostly towards himself. Percy doesn't respond. Nico sighs after a second, running a hand through his hair, "I feel like I'm never going to be ready to tell him. We've been dating for two years and I'm still not ready to tell him."

"It took you years to tell me, Nico. You don't need to get frustrated over this. Will wouldn't want you to rush yourself into something you aren't comfortable with."

"It's just scary," Nico whispers, "I shouldn't have to tell people that my gender doesn't match my body. And I feel like I can't," Nico blushes, "I feel like I can't, uh, give him what he wants because of my body. Like, when I was at his house, we were kissing and I- I accidentally slapped him," Nico mumbled. Percy snorted, Nico rolled his eyes,  "Oh gods, I left him and he probably thinks I'm mad at him," Nico put his face in his hands, "I'm such a terrible boyfriend," he groaned.

"You should call him," Percy said, "he seems a bit upset." Nico nodded, grabbing his phone. Percy got up, leaving the room as Nico turned his phone on.

He read over a few text Will has sent him, but quickly calls him. Will picks up imminently.

"Nico, I'm sorry," he cries, and Nico pouts.

"I'm not mad at you," Nico says, "I'm frustrated with myself, really."

"You shouldn't be mad at yourself, Nico. It was my fault. I should have made sure you were comfortable."

"But that's the thing, Will," Nico whined, "I should be comfortable with it because I- I want to, you know," Nico blushed despite himself.

"Well, what do you think is making you uncomfortable?" Will asked softly, "Do you think it's anything I can help with?"

"No," Nico sighed, "I know why. It's more then me just being insecure, and I- it's something that I really want to tell you, but I can't because I don't think I'm ready. Which is stupid because we've been dating for two years now."

"Don't rush yourself, Nico," Will mumbled, "If you aren't ready to tell me something, then don't tell me. I understand." Nico sighs, leaning his head against the wall behind him.

"But I want to be ready now," Nico whines, "you deserve to know more than anyone."

"Nico," Will says seriously, "If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. It doesn't matter who deserves to know or not. What matters is that you're comfortable enough to tell me, okay?"

"Okay," Nico grumbled, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Will replies, and Nico can hear the smile in his voice.

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MMMMMM I kind of hate how this turned out but, I don't know, I'm trying. I just got this idea yesterday and it's kind of a youtube au and I don't know if I'm ever going to write oops. Mostly because it's more of a book idea than a oneshot but. . .

Sorry for not updating in forever, I really am trying to write a bit everyday <3

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