(I wasn't sure what to name this chapter)

Trans boi Will also this is a high school + a first kiss au so both of my boys are awkward peanuts thank you

and ummmmm I published a Jercy alphabet thing and no one is giving it love oof I know Jercy isn't a popular ship but the chapters are only one hundred words on average (the first chapter is, like, six hundred), please uwu (there will be updates every Monday).

ALSO, I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING ELSE AND I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR IT but I don't want to give too many details right now. Maybe in the next month-ish or so

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Will had never told his boyfriend that he was transgender. But in the back of his mind, as the days wore on, a tiny part of his brain constantly nagged at him too.

He usually told that part of his brain to shut up, because he liked his boyfriend and he liked that they were dating. He didn't want to ruin what they had, and he was sure telling Nico he was trans would.

But at the same time he felt like each passing day, he was making the situation worse.

And it was only when Nico was over at his house one day after school that it seemed to really crash down on him. He had zoned out halfway through what Nico was saying, quickly getting lost in his own thoughts.

They had been together for months now, and Will still hasn't told him. He had told his ex after a month of dating. But then again, things hadn't gone well from there, and they had a nasty break up. Will was honestly surprised that Bryce hadn't gone around school telling everyone that he was trans just to mess with him, but he supposes Bryce just didn't want anyone to know he was dating a tranny.

Will's features turn into a slight frown. There are times where he seriously considers coming out to the whole school just to fuck with him, but he'd never actually do it. But he liked to think that when he needed a boost of confidence because usually, he'd panic about telling someone he knows and trusts, but telling a bunch of judgemental teenagers? He could just imagine how badass he'd feel if he did that. He could also imagine how scared he'd feel.

"Will?" Nico asks, frowning. He's leaning forward, and Will takes the time to study his face. Nico wasn't the type of person to break up someone just because they were trans, right? "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Will blinks, taking a second to recollect himself, "yeah, sorry."

"If I was boring you, you could have just told me, you know. Don't make me waste my breath, Solace," Nico huffed, crossing his arms. Will felt his eyes widen and he quickly shakes his head as he felt himself starting to panic.

"No, I'm sorry I really didn't mean-" he cuts himself off when he sees Nico smirk, and he glares, punching Nico's shoulder, "you asswipe." Nico laughs.

"I'm sorry," Nico says, not sounding sorry in the slightest, and kisses Will's cheek, making Will blush, "But really, are you okay?" He asks, winding his arms around Will's waist and burying his face in Will's neck. Will feels himself blush, but he lets his cheek rest on top of Nico's black, fluffy curls, letting his hands rest on Nico's lower back.

"'M fine," Will mutters, closing his eyes, "just got some stuff on my mind I guess."

"What kind of stuff?" Nico prompts. Will purses his lips.

"Nothing important, really."

"If it has you thinking about it while I'm talking, then it must be pretty damn important," he dramatically says. Will hums, but doesn't say anything. Nico pulls back after a minute and gives him a warm look. "You know you can talk to me if you need to?"

"I know," he gives Nico a smile, "I just don't if I'm ready to talk about this yet." Nico nods, satisfied with the answer. He could respect the need for time and space, even if he was beyond curious. He could wait until Will was comfortable enough to tell him.

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It seemed like five minutes later, but in reality, it was hours later when Noami was knocking on Will's door. When she opened it, both boys looked at her, and she smiled.

"Just wanted to ask if you're staying for dinner tonight, Nico."

"Oh," Nico said, checking his phone, "actually I should probably be going. Thank you, though." Noami nods as he grabs his jacket and his bag. He gently kisses Will's cheek and says goodbye to the both of them before leaving.

Will blushes, but he's smiling. When Nico's gone, Noami gives her son a smile.

"Dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes," she says, turning to leave, and Will frowns.

"Wait, I uh, I have a question," he mumbles, shifting where he was sitting on his bed. Naomi nods, and Will faintly hears the front door shut. He takes a deep breath, "How should I tell Nico that I'm trans? When should I tell him?" Naomi frowns, walking into the room and closing the door behind her.

"You haven't told him yet?"

"No," Will mumbled, wringing his hands together. Naomi sighs as she sits next to him.

"You need to tell him, Will." She said softly.

"I know," Will whined, "but how?"

"I don't know," Naomi sighed, "I think sitting him down and just talking to him about it would be the best thing to do." Will groaned, flopping back so he was laying down, his legs hanging off the side of his bed. He hated telling people like that, it was always awkward afterward and, obviously, the panicking part of doing that is no fun.

"This is stupid. I shouldn't have to tell him."

"Well, you two are dating," she says, shrugging, "and I guess you really don't have to tell him, but I think he has a right to know."

No, he doesn't, Will thinks bitterly.

No one had the right to know anything about him except for him. No one was entitled to know what lay beneath his clothes, not even his boyfriend. It would make things easier down the road, but he still hated the fact that if he ever wanted a relationship to work out, he was basically going to have to tell who he was dating.

Will sighs.

"Yeah," he mutters instead.

"It's going to be okay, Will," Naomi smiles, taking her son's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I'm just scared," Will frowns, "I don't want him to break up with me."

"He wouldn't do that, Will."

"How do you know?" Will asks, glaring up at the ceiling. With a huff, he sits back up, crossing his legs, "I didn't think Bryce would break up with me because of it."

"You and Bryce were only dating for a month when you told him," she says sternly and Will glares at her.

"So? Who cares how long we're dating, no one wants to be with someone who pretends to be someone who they aren't-"

"William Solace-"

"How can Nico want to be with me when I'm not even a guy?" Will all but shouts, feeling his eyes tear up, "How can I ever expect someone to love me for me when I can't even love myself?" Will immediately puts his face in his hands. He squeezes his eyes shut and bites his lip to keep his tears at bay.

Naomi could only stare for a second, shocked by her son's outburst. When she registers that he's shaking, sniffling every now and then, she puts a hand to his back, slowly drawing him into a hug. Will moves his hands so that he's hugging her, burying his face into her shoulder and letting out a small sob. Naomi rubs his back soothingly, kissing the top of his head.

"No one is ever going to love me, mom," he whines, letting out another sob. Naomi murmured words of reassurance in her son's ear, rubbing his back as he cried into her shoulder.

It took a while for Will to stop crying, but he didn't pull back from Naomi when he did. Her hug always made him feel warm and safe, so instead, he hugged her tighter. He felt her kiss the top of his head, and Will took in a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. It didn't take long for his breathing to even out though, and he slowly grew limp in her arms.

Naomi pulled back when she was sure her son was asleep, pushing back his bangs to kiss his forehead. She smiled sadly at his sleeping face before gently laying him down on his back.

------

It took weeks after the talk with Naomi for Will to work up the courage to tell Nico. He had invited him over, and the two were heading upstairs.

Naomi gave him a smile, and Will guesses that she must have read his face to know what he was doing.

Nico walked into his room and immediately flops onto his bed. Will smiles, sitting next to him.

It fades quickly though, and he sighs, looking off to the side. He can feel Nico's eyes on him, but he tries to ignore it.

"Are you okay?" He asks eventually and Will purses his lip.

"I need to tell you something," he states, looking back over at Nico. Nico frowns, shifting so he's sitting up, and he looks at Will.

"Okay," Nico says, a bit hesitantly.

Will had practiced this earlier, and he tried multiple different ways to tell him. He ultimately decided to just be blunt and say it, that way he could just get it over with. He takes a deep breath, now or never, he supposes.

"I'm transgender."

"Oh," Nico breathes a sigh of relief before flopping back down.

"Oh?" Will questioned, "I stay up all night panicking and all I get is a weak 'oh'?" Nico looks at him.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Well," Will huffs, "I don't know, maybe reassurance that you don't hate me?" Nico frowns.

"I don't hate you," he stated, "I mean you are still my boyfriend," he sits up and wraps his arms around Will, letting his face rest in his neck. Will smiles, hugging Nico.

"Really? So you're okay with this?" He asks quietly.

"Of course," Nico says, looking up at him and giving him a smile, "I still really like you, and nothing's going to change that. Unless, you know, you murder someone or something."

Will beams, and before he can really think about it, he cups Nico's cheeks, and pulls him in for a kiss. A noise of surprise comes from the back of Nico's throat, but he only cups one of Will's cheeks in return.

Will pulls back after a minute, chuckling at Nico's red, smiling face. Nico rolls his eyes, pulling Will into another kiss.

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Holy shit I have a week until I start high school lmao I'm ready for the weekly ™ panic attacks

On a side note turned out fluffier than I intended it to.

Also, I tried a semi-different writing style, but I don't know if it made much difference or if it was that noticeable.

(1897)