I Can't Shut Up [Transcript]

Episode 742 - I Troll on Reddit

Voices: Tommo, Timothy

(Timothy is someone Louis brings on when he's just going to be talking by himself, and he wants some company or verbal affirmation to keep talking.)

[32:04]

Tommo: Oh, yeah, I wanted to talk about that thing from a couple weeks ago.

Timothy: What?

Tommo: That little singer, the British one. He said on live radio that he had a crush on me.

Timothy: Harry? Wasn't he here recently?

Tommo: Yeah, yeah. He was really nice, and his song is good. But apparently he got so embarrassed that he ran out.

Timothy: You sound angry that he has a crush on you?

Tommo: The guy has never even met me. You've never even met me, Timothy. I could have a butt chin and hair down to my ass. Nothing wrong with either of those things, but that's probably something nobody has ever guessed that I look like.

Timothy: I've always pictured you that way.

Tommo: Oh shut up. My point is that I'm a stranger to him. How can you like someone you've never met? Don't even know what they look like.

Timothy: People write fanfiction about you and pretend to fuck you. What's the difference?

Tommo: That's just internet culture. This is really fucking feelings, and it's kind of pathetic. I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Happy?