4/10

Dear Fizz,

I am literally fuming right now. That frog-ass blocked me on every single one of his socials. And the podcast too. Now I can't talk to him ever again, and I know that the song clip he posted was definitely about me.

I mean, there was no reason to doubt, but now it's like confirmation. Harry Styles has a big enough crush on me to write a song to me. And he blocked me instead of answering the question! What a fucking ass!

Wait.

Why am I mad?

He's non-confrontational, that's not my fault. I'm the one causing all of these fucking problems, aren't I? Like I said all that mean shit, I had to go and ask him if the song was about me. It's no wonder he blocked me to get away from my bullshit.

God, I feel like a hundred times more awful now that I've realized that. He's just shy and not the best at sharing his feelings. Unlike me. I'm too good at communicating, honestly. I do it for a living.

When I ran that simulated podcast with Lottie, she kept asking me if I liked him. I honestly don't know where the fuck that comes into play. If I'm being honest with myself, he's smart, attractive, has an amazing voice. Who wouldn't want him? And he wants me, of all people. Even though I look like a rat. He met me as some stranger and liked the way I look.

Ugh, my heart is a mess.

Ok, ok. Maybe I do like him. After all, he thinks I'm beautiful when I think I'm ugly. And he's done nothing but compliment me during that time we met in person today. Or yesterday. I don't know what time it is, really.

What the fuck do I do about this? We both kind of like each other, but he can't know that I'm me! Because I'm me. Do I continue this little ruse? Of being some random British guy with two little siblings? Because that person is better than being me?

He'll be crushed if he ever finds out.

Just once, then? I'll invite him for drinks while I'm still here? Because I've already been away too long and need to get back to California soon.

Thanks, Fizz. Miss you and Mum more than anything.

-Louis