I Can't Hide The Fire Within Part 6
Hello! Here's the next part. Hope you enjoy it!
The train that Dean had jumped off of and which I had been admiring was long gone by now but we both knew that it wouldn't be long before another came along. The trains, whilst only being popular with dauntless, ran frequently. A train would whiz past every five to ten minutes, so we knew we wouldn't be waiting long.
My nerves started to build as we waited. We were walking along side the track going in the general direction of the amity compound. We didn't talk. I remained silent because I was still trying to get myself ready for what I was about to do, and I think Dean didn't say anything either because he didn't want to give me the opportunity to back out.
There was no chance of that. I might be nervous and scared about jumping onto a train but there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to do it. This was the image that filled my daydreams. I had lost countless hours to fantasising about this, never believing that it would actually happen and now here I am, moments away from finally doing it.
It was then that I heard it. There was the unmistakable sound of metal hurtling down the track.
This was it. This was the moment.
I turned and I spotted it. Never in my life had I felt so many emotions from the sight of a train. I was anxious, excited, happy and scared all at once.
"Start jogging" Dean ordered, when the train was still 50m away. I did.
I could feel it getting closer. It could only be a few metres away now.
And then it whooshed past me. The wind making my already messy hair fly around wildly.
"Now speed up." Dean shouted over the roar of the engines. I followed his instructions carefully. This was probably the only time I was ever going to do this, I didn't want to mess it up.
I was flat out sprinting when Dean next called out.
"I'll jump up first and then help you on!" He called out.
Dean overtook me quickly, and within seconds had managed to grab the handle on the outside of the train and pull himself in through the open door. I would have wondered at how smooth his actions were and how easy he made it look but I didn't have time.
"Reach out and grab a hold on that handle with your left hand and give me your right. Then jump in." Dean shouted, leaning out of the door.
Jump in? Just jump in? That sort of thing may be easy for him but I doubted my own ability to simply 'jump in' to a moving train.
Even so I did as he said. Not giving myself time to think, I grabbed the handle with my left hand and stretched out my right for him to grip on to. I then jumped and tried to swing my body into the moving cart.
I didn't jump as high as I should have and if it hadn't of been for Dean tugging on my arm there was no way that I would have landed on the train. But with his help I just managed it. I wasn't on my feet and it wasn't clean but I had made it. I was actually on the train.
I rolled onto my back and looked at the ceiling of the vehicle in disbelief.
I had made it. I had done it.
I couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled through me. I'm not sure what it was exactly that was so funny, but I couldn't stop. I think it was from the shock of finally doing what I had been dreaming about for years.
It was only when Dean’s face appeared in my line of vision, blocking out part of the train roof, that I finally managed to stop my laughter. But by the smile on Dean’s face he hadn't minded it.
"You ok?" He asks. If he hadn't of been smiling I would have thought that he was questioning my sanity but it's clear from his expression that he's not. He doesn't find it strange that I got a rush from jumping onto a moving train. To him that's normal and expected.
"I'm fantastic" I grin up at him, not being able to explain the exhilarating feeling coursing through me.
"Well, 'fantastic' wouldn't be the word that I'd choose seeing as how your landing was very sloppy, but you're not bad for a first-timer." Dean said with a smirk, knowing that that wasn't what I had meant.
I rolled my eyes at him and dragged myself up into a sitting position. There was no way that I trusted myself to stand up as the carriage swayed from side to side so I remained sitting on the ground. I knew that if I did try to get up I would probably fall straight out of the gaping door.
Dean seemed to notice that I wasn't going to get to my feet so after a quick chuckle at my expense he joined me on the floor.
"You know, I never thought I'd see the day when an amity jumped onto a train." He said lightly shaking his head in disbelief.
"Yeah, me neither." I couldn't help but agree with him. People from my faction didn't do this sort of thing. I'm probably the first amity to have ever done this before. But then I didn't really belong in amity anyway so I guess I don't really count and that their record is still untarnished.
I turned and looked out over the city, trying to push the depressing thoughts of not belonging away by admiring the view. We were going so fast that it was hard to make out more than a blur as buildings sped past, but if you looked closely enough the city started to take shape.
"I've always loved watching the dauntless jump on and off of these things. I never thought that I would ever be able to do it." I said more to myself than to Dean. The adrenaline was still pumping through me and my grin was back on my face.
"I always thought the other factions saw it as stupid." Dean said quietly. His voice hadn’t been loud but it had still made me jump slightly. I had been so caught up in the view that I had almost forgotten he was there.
"Oh they do. You should hear my mother rant about it. She thinks you're all idiots who are going to kill yourselves before you're thirty." I said, not taking my eyes off of the landscape in front of me. I may never get to do this again so I wasn't going to waste a second of it.
"And what do you think?" Dean asked. Again I didn't turn to face him but I could see his head tilt curiously out of the corner of my eye.
"I think it's daring. You're all so confident in your own abilities. I don't think I could ever trust myself to be able to do it." I said honestly.
"You don't in the beginning, but that almost made it more fun. The fact that you might not make it was what made it interesting. But after a while you get used to it and you forget that it even seems weird to some people." Dean admitted.
"My mother was right. You do have a death wish." I chuckled lightly and it didn't take long for him to join me. It took a couple of seconds for our laughter to fade but when it did Dean spoke softly.
"Not a death wish. Just an appreciation of what life really is."
"And what's that?" I asked, taking my eyes away from the city flashing past for the first time. Dean was leaning back, supporting himself on his arms with his legs sprawled out in front of him, the very picture of relaxed.
"A challenge. A game." He said with a wicked grin working its way onto his lips.
"Where you bet your life?" I asked, my eyebrows rising into my hairline.
"A game is always more interesting when the stakes are higher."
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