"Aydin!! Aydin!" Says a loud and cheerful voice as he shakes a fellow brunette that was in the middle of reading. With a blank stare and a sigh the brunette looked over at his annoying friend as he fixates his glasses "What is it again Milo?"

Milo was looking awfully giddy today. It's most likely that something great must have happened to him. But Aydin couldn't care less as long as he was happy he would be fine with whatever he may do. And honestly Aydin would be lying if he said he didn't find Milo's excited expressions to be absolutely adorable. You see, he has always seen Milo more than as a friend. But he knew that he is straight and because of his fear of losing him he never had the guts to be honest about it.

His love is nothing but unrequited, one sided you can say. He can only ever dream of a day that he'll end up being together with him. Milo continued to spur of excitement, if he had a tail, Aydin thought, he would be wagging so incredibly by now. Aydin couldn't help but smile a little as he thought of that.

"Aydin you never would have guessed what happened!! Promise you won't tease!!" Milo put his hands together as he pleaded to Aydin. Aydin couldn't help but laugh seeing his cute little gestures.

"Fine, fine I won't~ so what happened anyway?"

"I got a girlfriend!!"

It was almost as if time stood still when he heard those words. The small smile on his face lowerd slightly as the words conyinued to process in his mind. A girlfriend? He muttered inside his head as disbelief ran into his mind. A girlfriend? For real? He must be joking right? This must be a joke right? A prank? Is he trying to play games? This must be a dream right?

Aydin grew quiet as he couldn't comprehend the words his dear beloved have said. He desperately tried to remind himself that he must be dreaming or he heard it wrong.

"Aydin?"

Because of Aydin's lack of response Milo grew worried for his friend as he began to keep calling his name. After a few more times of calling him out Aydin finally snapped back to reality.

"Oh... Uh... Wow... That's great. " Says Aydin as he tried to stay cool, desperately trying to hide away his expression as he pretended to read the book in his hands. He quietly picked his words carefully as he tried his best to focus on the book he was holding. He quietly fixiated his glasses and say,

"Honestly Milo, good for you. Someone was finally able love you despite how much of a delinquent you look."

Aydin would never risk to let his feelings show, he was too afraid of their friendship having a potential end so he tried his best to seem like how he would usually act.

In turn, Milo pouted at his lack luster friend. For a second he was worried about his lack of response. Looks like he was just speechless for a bit and he would just go back to his emotionless self. And not to mention he called him a delinquent!!!

"HEY!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN A DELIQUENT?!" Milo shook his friend in an angered whiny tone as Aydin kept his focus on the book he was reading.

But deep down he actually felt bitter. He felt jealous. He was ashamed of himself that he wanted Milo to break up with that girl as soon as possible. And yet he was still too afraid to let his real feelings show.

-*-*-*-

Time went by and they continued as nothing but good friends. Aydin still acted the same, calm and quiet like the soothing waters of a lake. And Milo was no different except he talked... More about his relationship. Whenever he brings her up Aydin's tone became slower slightly quieter. The mere sound of the girl's name sent a bitter taste in his mouth and a heavy feeling in his heart.

And yet he continued to try his best to act like everything is fine. And that he supported him even if his selfishness doubts it.

At some point he knew that Milo will introduce her soon and low and behold, the day that he hoped would never come did come. As much as he wanted the girl to be a nice person as Milo stated, he was still hoping that she'll be terrible, undeserving of him, and just a huge bitch who's taking advantage of him. And when the day has come for him to meet her, she was in fact a nice girl. She was actually shy compared to the energetic Milo. She was timid.

But he was still not convinced that her feelings were true so they all went around the town, eating food and shopping or whatever kind of activities they had planned.

And during that time he carefully watched over the girl to see if she was worthy although he hoped she was not, that she had some kind of ulterior motive that he could use to frame her.

But the whole time, he failed to see a single thing that would have made her look suspicious.

The whole time they were hanging out together the girl kept her attention towards Milo. She eyed him carefully as she blushed a light shade of pink. From time to time she would glance over at their intertwined hands as a soft smile would creep towards her lips. She was contented and relaxed and held his hand tightly.

Aydin, however, couldn't help but feel defeated.

She was, perfect... as much as he hated to admit that. He was somewhat relieved that she was true to her feelings, and yet his thoughts were conflicted as he himself felt as if the person he loves isn't going to be with him anytime soon.

He didn't feel right, his chest felt heavy and painful as he struggled to keep his breathing still. And yet he kept acting as if everything is okay. He continued to wear his cursed mask that hid his real heartfelt feelings.

It was as if his love was contained inside him like a bottled message thrown into sea. But instead of it only containing the message it also contained rocks. Rocks that crumpled the paper inside that also prevent it from ever floating. That the moment he threw the bottle to sea it would sink into the unknown never again be seen.

Days passed and Milo couldn't help but notice how distant Aydin has been these passed few days. Milo frowned upon seeing that, sure there are days when he was like this and he would usually not bother him during those times, but something was different, something must have bothered him. And with that he felt determined to try and cheer him up. He then mustered up his courage and ran up to him screaming his name.

"AYDIIINNN"

Luckily, it was only the two of them on the rooftop, so no matter how stupid Milo looked he didn't really care.

As a reaction to this Aydin looked at him with a surprise look but Milo didn't give him time to process anything as he tackled him to the ground.

Aydin, stunned, couldn't mutter a single word. The sweet scent of him sent a shiver down his spine as the boy on top of him continued to hug him ever so tightly. Bit by bit, Aydin soon realised how much Milo must have been worrying about him. As he thought that, he smiled lightly as he stroked his hair. But because of all the hair spray Milo was using, his hair wasn't really soft but felt rough. But Aydin didn't mind that, he simply loved every single part of Milo.

Milo looked up as a reaction to Aydin's soft touch. They continued to stare into each other's eye for a moment before they eventually started to laugh. For a moment the pain in Aydin's heart went away as he looks over at Milo's smiling face.

Ah, he really can't help but fall for this guy.

But he still wanted to distance himself regardless.

During their college years, Aydin and Milo further grew apart as Aydin decided to enter into a university far away from him. He was hopeless and wanted to be left alone, the mere thought of him made a tightening, suffocating feeling in his heart. Of course this would only raise question to his friend as they were suppose to go to the same university. But he didn't want to meet him and yet he longed to be by his side. He wished that he should have said something maybe he had a chance after all... Hahah, but he never did, and never will.

Out of frustration he started smoking. At first he couldn't at all finish a single stick. But eventually for a day he would finish a pack sometimes even more than that. It helped him relax and ease his mind a little but it wasn't exactly enough.

Time passes by rather quickly as Aydin suffered for years longing for his one and only love. He couldn't count how many times he had to cry himself to sleep. He couldn't count how many times he had to refuse an invite from Milo just to avoid him. And lastly, he couldn't count how many times he'd already attempted...

... to commit suicide.

And yet...

He never had the courage to do such a thing. It just didn't feel right like something was holding him back. So instead he cuts himself, over and over and over. Everyday he would cut a wound, each scar represented every painful day that passed.

Pain killers after pain killers, he can even proudly say he's addicted to them. He couldn't start a day without them anyway.

He was numb all over and the scars all over his body were already too much in numbers that he had to start wearing a hoodie.

Time went by and he managed to graduate. That night he actually wasn't thrilled at all, no one was there to witness his graduation as his parents never really had the time to pay attention to him. What's the point now anyways, even his parents turned his back on him. That night, he had to drown himself with alcohol as he reminisced the good ol' days when it was just him and Milo.

What's there to live anymore?

He says as the color is his eyes continued to drain. Was it even worth it to live right now? Was there even a reason for him to study hard?

.
.
.

Of course there was since that was his only good way to keep himself distracted. And now that he has graduated what now? Repeat the same thing over and over again as he continues to work until his very last breath? Hah, what a wonderful life plan he has.

At this point he wasn't just avoiding him out of his own frustration and sadness but instead he couldn't bring himself to show the state he was in. He is a mess, physically, mentally and emotionally.

You might say, he could have possibly moved on from Milo by now right? No, he would never. He can never move on from him after everything he's done for him. His heart just simply belonged to Milo even if he never had the courage to give it to him.

He pitied himself. And he looked pathetic in everyone's eyes.

A sarcastic laugh escaped from his lips as he said that to himself. Ah, how he wished he could just die right now but somehow he needed a bit of closure. He wondered what he was up to right now? Despite his attempts of distracting himself he still couldn't help but think of him through the very end. Did he successfully graduate? Was he still with his girlfriend? And best of all was he happy? He wanted an answer for those questions but he simply couldn't bring himself to ask. I guess he'll just have to continue living.

Days passed as he was finally able to finish every last bit of work in college. He was finally ready to get a job, and yet he wasn't at all excited about that. Is he seriously gonna spend the rest of his life over-working himself? Indeed he is. Maybe he was already going crazy he says. He's slowly loosing his mind at this point, but a tiny part of him was still sane as he continued to hold onto the tiny string that's preventing him from falling into the never ending darkness.

Ah, how pathetic. And yet he still can't help but fall for him.

Months passed as he was able to successfully find a job. He worked so many hours that he was eventually put into a higher position from his efforts. He continued to work his hardest as this was the only thing he could use as a distraction from everything. Everyday he would go home from work at midnight. That he moment he enters his room he immediately knocks out on his bed.

Morning came as he looked at his phone for the time and date. Looks like he overslept but luckily it was his day off. He then puts down his phone as he stayed on his bed blankly staring at his ceiling. How much time has passed already? He says as he continued to wonder. But the real question that he wanted to ask was... I wonder how Milo is doing...

As if on cue, his phone buzz and he sluggishly looked at the sender. The moment his eyes landed on the screen he suddenly felt his heart tighten.

Milo: Hey, Aydin. I'm sorry to bother you like this but, I'm at the City that you are at. Can we meet up?

Aydin stared at the screen blankly, a soft smile forming on his lips. Just as he needed. He hasn't talked to him in years. To think that he would go for the first move. Maybe he should try to answer him.

But before he could even send anything. Milo sent him a picture of a familiar café.

Milo: Let's meet up here!!

Milo: I'll wait for you even if it takes me overnight! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ I'll even come running to look for you!!

Aydin couldn't help but feel stunned, he was still the same despite the fact that he was being a jerk to him. Who knew that he could find another reason to hate himself. It was hard for him to refuse at this point but part of him still hesitated.

Does he really want to meet up with him right now? He does want to. Since he has been wondering how he has been lately. He just can't help but worry for the guy. After putting it a bit more thought he finally made a decision. He stood up from his bed and picked up his glasses. He then began to walk out his door.

With a bitter smile he slowly typed in his phone.

Aydin: So how's life?

A few seconds after he sent that, Milo immediately sent him a long message.

Milo: oh it was great!! I manage to graduate as a honor student!! I had so many job offers given to me I was stumped on which company I should go for!! But I eventually went to XXXX company! Everyone's so nice and the boss said he was gonna promote me soon!!

Aydin smiled lightly. He was happy to hear that he was doing great. Aydin bitterly kept typing away as he continued to walk to the place he had to go. He was sure that maybe this was finally the right time.

Aydin: Are you still dating her?

Milo: of course, I am!!

He felt a slight pang reading those words but his smile stood still as he kept his gaze on his phone.

Milo: we fought quite a bit during the past few years but it's been going great. We're not only dating now though since I just proposed to her, she is now my fiancée!!

Milo: We are going to get married in a few years, I'll make sure to give you an invitation!

Aydin isn't even sure if he would want to be in their wedding. Even after all this years he was still jealous of the girl and slightly annoyed for stealing him away. But it'd be rude not to go he says.

Aydin: oh that's great to know. You don't have to give me an invitation. I'll just go there on my own accord.

Milo: What!! That's so silly!

Aydin was relieved that the girl was true to her words until the end. As much as painful for him to say, they really are perfect for one another. If she was to break up with Milo he would be sure to forever haunt her for the rest of her life. Hahah, that's such a silly thing to say.

Aydin: so are you happy right now?

Aydin hesitated to send that to him but he grabbed every single bit of his courage to ask. This was the last time anyway.

Milo: of course I've never been happier! But I wish we could meet up more! I really miss hanging out with you. I know you're busy but can we at least meet up even if it's just an hour?ლ('ڡ'ლ)

Aydin couldn't help but feel his heart tighten at his words. He's been lying to him all these years, and yet he felt contented that even if he wasn't around he was still the same old Milo that was cheerful and lively.

Aydin: Don't worry Milo, I'll make sure to stay by your side from now on.

Milo: wow that's such a sappy thing to say!

Milo: So you are coming then! (≧▽≦)

Aydin couldn't contain his tears. He was still such a goof. He could easily picture him looking at his phone with an idiotic smile, as he anticipated his reply, he'll really miss that. As he continued to think of him he took off his shoes.

Aydin: hahah...

The wind blew towards his hair. As he stares at the edge.

Milo: ??

Aydin: Sorry Milo...

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.

Aydin: But I have better things to do right now.

And with that he shut off his phone. Ah what an incredibly heartless jerk he is. Well at least he was fine and was still doing great.

After that his phone started to ring. He looked at his phone blankly as he decided to answer the call.

"Huh?? So you are busy today? Can we still reschedule then?"

After hearing that Aydin didn't say a word as he continued to stare at the edge. Milo grew silent as he started to carefully choose his words.

"Hey, did I do something bad?"

Milo's voice was soft as he calmly tried to talk to him.

"You're not really busy are you?"

All this time Milo knew that whenever he is bothered by something he would lie and say he is busy, he is still his best friend after all, of course he would notice those little things. And yet all these years he also never had the courage to point it out.

"I know something's bothering you so please. Let's try to talk things out! Maybe I can help you!"

Milo talked in a desperate tone. He regrets the fact that he failed as his friend, he failed to pay attention to him.

"I should have done this sooner but.."

"I'll cheer you up no matter how many times it'll take!!"

Milo grew silent as he patiently waited for Aydin to talk.

Aydin looked down from the view above. The streets were busy as always. Funny how he used to immediately back out the last time he tried to do this. And yet right now he was calm, like the silently flowing lake that he once was.

He really will miss Milo, but he happily sends all his best wishes for his awaited future. Aydin is sure that's he'll be the best worker, an amazing husband and an amazing dad someday.

Aydin smiled as he thought of that. He then took off his glasses and placed it on the ground. He leaned dangerously closer to the edge closing his eyes in the process.

"You don't have to do that. I said it didn't I? that from now on I'll always be together with you, no matter what shape or form I will have."

Milo soon realized what he meant by those words. Before long he started to panic as his heart started to beat an alarming rate. He desperately attempted to stop him.

"Wait- NO AYDIN! DON'T---"

It was as if time stood still and everything grew quiet. Aydin leaned towards the edge.

"Ah Milo, I really do can't help...

.
.
.

...but fall for you."

-fin-