In a previous life...

Everyone has a place in life. A shining spot belonging just to you. And if you are able to sit in that spot, your life will be happy and blessed. This is what I've always believed.

There is a girl who stole that place from me.

I learned about this while I was still young.

"Mother, why doesn't Father like me?" I was crying, a feeling of frustration and helplessness overcoming me. Even a simple conversation with my father led to criticism, he looked at me as if... as if I were something worthless. Something dirty.

My mother, the Countess of Erand, was a beautiful woman. She had large eyes, a pitiful expression which inspired sympathy and love. She shook her head at my question, smiling strangely.

"That's because he isn't your father, silly." What a shocking thing to tell a young child, but she didn't seem to sense any inappropriateness to her words. Mother quickly explained my true parentage, that my father was the Duke of Armeny, one of the most powerful noblemen in the kingdom.

"Why don't we live with him?" I felt upset, looking at the poorly furnished room we sat in. In our home the outer sitting rooms were luxuriously furnished, but it was only a front. The Count of Erand was not a wealthy man, and so our actual living quarters were quite humble.

"He married another woman." Mother smiled despite the terrible words. "He didn't have a choice, his heart will always remain with me."

I stared at her in shock. "Can't you win him back?"

"I wouldn't want him to be unhappy, or mire his name in scandal." She shook her head slowly. "He has a wife, and a daughter now. She's actually close to your age." A small sigh escaped her. "She's your half sister, but she looks a lot more like your father than you do."

"Is she... better than me?" I whispered, my heart breaking at the sight of my mother praising another girl.

"She's raised by your father, so naturally she will be more noble and refined." Mother shrugged, not noticing the despair she caused with these few words. "I want you to become friends with her, but make sure to always treat her well! Don't embarrass your mother by acting poorly in front of her! She's HIS precious daughter after all."

"O- of course, mother." I smiled, the expression at odds with the coldness I felt in my heart. I was young, but even I could sense the unhealthy light in my mother's eyes as she spoke about that man and his daughter. She loved him, to the point of madness, until she could ignore everything and everyone else.

I thought love was a fairly pointless thing, then, if it made you like this.

I wanted to ignore her words, but a seed had been planted in my mind. No wonder I was unhappy. I wasn't where I was meant to be. The place in life I was meant to have had been taken, which was the source of all my misery. If I just could take it back...

Thus began my obsession with my half-sister, the girl who stole my place.

_________________________

"Hi, I'm Lenora." A smiling young girl, with light colored hair and bright eyes, curtseyed prettily in front of me. She seemed happy, secure, and comfortable in the luxurious environment around us.

I felt immediate dislike for her, a thick wave of jealousy choking in my throat.

How dare she look so content? How dare she enjoy the shining spot that was meant to be mine? She had wealth, a position of power, and her father at her side.

I wanted... I needed to take it all from her.

_________________________

I pretended to be Lenora's friend. It was surprising easy. Despite her position she was desperately lonely, pathetically latching on to any attention I would give her. All it would take was the threat of ignoring her to get her to do what I wanted. Sometimes she would resist, however

"Give me the doll." I held out my hand, demanding the item she held to her chest with an imperious expression.

Lenora shook her head, clutching the ratty toy tighter. "No, Edith, this was a present from the Queen. I really love it."

"Why do you care if the Queen gave you a toy?" I smirked. "It's so poor looking, it's better if you don't have it."

"No! The Queen says one day I'm going to be her daughter! I'm going to marry the prince and live in the castle with both of them!"

She held onto the doll tighter, tears forming in her eyes.

She was going to marry a prince? My gaze narrowed, and without further thought I reached out, ripping the toy from her and tearing it to pieces.

"If you had just given me the stupid doll I wouldn't have had to do that! Now it's ruined and it's all your fault!"

She burst into tears, the frightened sobs racking her small body. I felt a bright smile form across my face, a relaxed feeling taking over. I knew then, it wasn't enough to simply take my spot back.

I had to make her regret ever having it in the first place.

_________________________

As I grew older, my methods became more complex. I bought over her personal maid with the money I had saved and the promises of future favors for her brother. With Angela's help, it was all too easy to dress her in ridiculous clothes, convincing her it was the height of fashion. I took her out to the royal gardens almost every day, urging her to try to catch a glimpse of the prince. I wanted her to love him. I wanted all of her hopes to be set on him.

"Your highness! " I met Prince Ronan "by accident" one day in the gardens when Lenora was ill. "I've heard rumors that you were handsome and intelligent looking, but I think you are even better than what people say!"

Shameless flattery, but from what I heard, Ronan was a simple man.

"I am pretty great!" He smiled brightly at me. "What's your name?"

I curtsied, keeping a shy expression on my face. "Edith, Your Highness. I'm a... acquaintance of your fiancé."

"My fiancé? That foolish girl my mother wants me to marry?" He sneered. "How dare they try to tell me what to do?!"

"I agree... Lenora says that the Queen will force you to marry her no matter what! It makes me so sad to think of a wonderful man like you being trapped by a woman like that!"

I dabbed my eyes with a handkerchief, forcing a few tears from my eyes. From the corner of my vision I stole glimpses of the prince's face, satisfied by what I saw.

Ronan looked furious.

_________________________

It was simple to pull him over to my side. Constant flattery, with mixed in hints of how Lenora was an arrogant girl who thought she was better than him. As his opinion of me improved, I added on sob stories of being bullied by Lenora, enjoying his righteous anger on my behalf.

Lenora, foolishly, had no idea. I had made him promise to be polite to her, to pretend nothing was wrong. Of course, if he wanted to pull pranks on her publically, like tripping her at her birthday party... I couldn't object to that. That was just free entertainment.

Everything was moving along as planned.

_________________________

As we grew older however, I noticed a worrying change in my half-sister. She disagreed with me more often, trying to spend time with other girls and make friends. She frequently quoted the queen when she was disagreeing with me, not immediately capitulating to my opinion as she had in the past. One day I visited her room, only to find her in a beautiful gown.

"What is that?!" I forced a disgusted expression. It was difficult to hide my shock. The dress was beautiful, a delicate violet ballgown with light blue embroidery, highlighting her petite frame.

Lenora hesitated, looking shy. "I designed it myself! Do you like it?"

"Where did you get the idea for something like this?" Every gown I helped her buy was hideous! How could she design something like this?!

"I wanted to wear something more like the Queen." She smiled brightly, touching the small sapphire amulet hanging around her neck. I hated that necklace. It was a gift from the Queen, a family heirloom that was to be passed down to her daughter.

That should be mine! How dare she wear it!

"You look nothing like the Queen." My voice was cold. "You look ridiculous in that."

Her face paled. "I do?"

"Yes. Hurry and get rid of it, before someone sees you in it and laughs."

I watched her eyes fill with tears, satisfied for a moment. But soon it was replaced with a feeling of panic.

I'm losing control of the situation. I need to hurry things along.

_________________________

"Your Highness!" I sobbed loudly, burying my face in his shoulder. "Please break off your engagement with that girl! I can't live without you!"

"Don't worry." A warm hand patted my hair gently. I frowned as it mussed up the careful styling, the expression hidden by his coat. "At my birthday, dearest! I'll be a legal adult, I can break the engagement without my parents' approval and I'll announce you as my future bride the same day!"

"Really? What about your mother?" I sniffed, pretending to be consoled by his clumsy gestures. "Won't she try to interfere?"

"Who cares if she does?"

"The nobility care..." I whispered these words, however, knowing he wouldn't understand. If the Queen was there she would stick up for Lenora. She doted on her too much already. I knew I would have to take matters into my own hands if i wanted a perfect defeat of my half-sister.

Even though the one she should dote on is me!

A simple poisoned tea made the Queen too sick to attend, and the party went off without flaw. The prince renounced Lenora publically, holding me to his side. His eyes were filled with affection as he looked down at me, but I immediately looked away, all of my attention on the crying young woman being helped out of the room by our father.

WHY ISN'T HE LOOKING AT ME?!

I was taking my proper place as the future queen. The place Lenora stole from me! She was broken, defeated... but still he only glanced in my direction once at the beginning, with the same haunted guilty eyes he always had when he saw me, before turning back to Lenora.

The glass in my hand cracked under the tightness of my grip. I brushed it off with a gentle laugh, saying I was nervous. Everyone smiled at me, including the prince. I was the center of attention.

But still I could only stare at the empty doorway where they had left without a single glance behind.

I almost quit my plans then. I had taken her engagement, taken her place... I should have been happy. But it wasn't enough. I had to keep going.

She wasn't miserable enough.

_________________________

I worked with Angela to intercept all letters between the Queen and Lenora. I started rumors, making sure to repeat them frequently to Lenora, that the Queen had no interest in her anymore. Each time I saw the agony on her face at the abandonment, I felt happy. But the feeling was fleeting. It wasn't enough.

Even without my help, the Duchy of Armeny came to ruin. Their debts were called in, their home was taken, and Lenora moved out with her parents.

I hired people to keep an eye on her, trying to find enjoyment in the day to day life as a future Queen. It was difficult. Mrs. Rendler, the etiquette instructor, disliked me. She only agreed to teach me after a direct order from the prince, and yet she frowned whenever she was looking at me.

"Lenora was a hardworking girl. Intelligent too. She mastered this much more quickly." Her words were barbs underneath my skin. I tried to ignore them, but they struck at each weak point I had, making me lash out. I fired her, hiring a new teacher, one without a connection to my half-sister.

Ronan doted on me as usual. The King ignored me, for which I was grateful. His eyes were cold, and I couldn't help but feel the schemes he hid in his smile. I knew that he would easily destroy me if it worked for his plans.

As for the Queen...

I tried my best to form a relationship with her. I brought her gifts, invited her to parties, visited daily... but each time she would politely thank me for the attention, and then turn back to the window, where she always looked out, as if searching for someone. It made me furious.

How was she any better than me as a future daughter in law! Why, even when that wretched girl is gone, does she still only think of her?!

I needed to act soon. I had convinced the Queen through messages sent by Angela before the fall of the duchy that Lenora despised her, and never wanted to see her again, but I knew it wouldn't be long before she looked to see her again. I just needed an opportunity...

And one day it came. A young girl around our age was murdered on the streets. As soon as I got the news, I had one of my people make the face unrecognizable. I then approached the Queen with a sad, teary-eyed face to give her the good news.

"Lenora is dead. They found her body this morning."

I left her in agonized tears, feeling elated that soon the Queen would see me instead of Lenora. She would forget all about her. And that girl's stolen place in her heart would belong to me.

But it didn't work.

No matter how many months passed, the Queen refused to stop mourning. She stayed in her rooms, with only the butler to take care of her, refusing all invitations. I was furious, but everything I tried was useless.

_________________________

I came across a notice from my men one morning. Our father was dead. He had been murdered by a loan shark who he had borrowed money from, his body recovered in a gutter. I paused as I read the report, unsure of how to feel.

I'm glad that Lenora is in pain. And what did that man ever do to me? He only stared occasionally at me and felt guilty. What use was he? An uneasy feeling remained in my heart, but I irritably brushed it aside.

I lost track of her for a while, after her mother died and she last came to find me. I panicked when my men lost her, unsure of how she escaped my view. I felt empty... confused... lost. As more and more time passed, I worried that she had found a new place, become happy, had taken more things from me.

But finally I found Lenora once again.

_________________________

She was begging on the streets, slowly starving to death. Wherever she had been, whoever had been helping her was gone, and now she was alone. I was content once more, reading my daily reports on her activities. I arranged to ride by her street with Ronan, flaunting my wealth and happiness.

I grabbed his arm once we passed by her, smiling brightly. "I'm so lucky to be able to marry a wonderful man like you! But, some days, I just feel so guilty that I stole Lenora's place..."

"Lenora? "I'm glad to be rid of her. Who would want her when they could have you?" Ronan reacted exactly as I hoped.

I looked down, hoping she would cry. "Yes, who would want her?"

_________________________

Close to the end, Lenora finally sold the necklace I hated so much. A priceless treasure, all for a loaf of bread. I bought it immediately, and kept it by my side, frequently taking it out to look at it. I considered breaking it to pieces, but still I held on, waiting.

The day Lenora died, I tossed the necklace to the Queen, and told her the truth of what I had done. I smiled at the despair in her eyes, enjoying her pain. I had already poisoned her, so there was no fear of her telling anyone else. It was a painful, pathetic end.

Exactly what she deserved. Who told her to love Lenora and not me.

I had won.

A strange emptiness came across me at the thought. I went back to my lavish rooms, sitting down and looking around.

I had done it. I had taken my place back. Lenora was broken, and gone, her body thrown to the forest for the animals to tear apart.

She was dead.

My eyes began to burn, and to my utter horror, I felt tears... genuine tears... fill my vision, overflowing and tracing down my cheeks. My throat burned, my breath came in gasps, and above all I was undeniably...

EMPTY.

I shook my head. What was I thinking? I won! I had taken Ronan from Lenora.

I lived in a loveless marriage with a fool I despised.

I was going to be Queen.

In a country that was financially bankrupt, with a scheming king who saw me as a pawn.

Lenora had lost her parents.

My father died too, never caring once about me except to feel guilty. My mother had died only a day after hearing the news. The horrific end to her obsessive love.

She had lost everything. I had everything!

My entire life had revolved around Lenora. What did I have now that she was gone? What special place? What bright and happy life? I was more miserable now than I ever was when she had everything I wanted.

I had nothing.

I was.... Empty.

Hysterical laughter gave way to screams of pain, the sounds tearing themselves from my throat as I sank weakly to the ground.

_________________________

In another life...

"Edith." A familiar voice woke me from my sleep. I turned in place on my hard cot, looking through the bars. My cell was small, but furnished, having been built for nobility who had committed crimes against the crown. At my status as a count's daughter I normally wouldn't have been kept there, but Ronan had requested I be moved there to be more comfortable. The only concession his father would make. I sighed loudly, sitting up and facing my visitor.

"Ronan, what brings you here?" My voice was cold, emotionless. I had no reason to pretend to care for him anymore. I had tried in the beginning, hoping he could pressure the king for my release... but it had come to nothing, and I gave up the farce after a while.

The prince smiled at me, but his eyes were angry. "I wanted to see the girl who ruined my life."

"Ruined your life?" I couldn't hold back a laugh. "How many years have I been locked up again?"

"You deserve it, for your crimes."

I smiled at him calmly, despite the rage in his voice. "You haven't visited me in years, and now you come back to berate me about this old matter? I didn't even manage to kill her."

"You lied to me!" His hands shook, and he clenched them at his sides. "You told me Lenora was a fool! You convinced me to break ties with her!"

He began pacing back and forth as he spoke. "But day after day that's all I hear about. Lenora is a genius. She's a prodigy at diplomacy and etiquette, a master of business and economy. Tilendria has flourished under her and Nate, becoming much stronger than us!" He paused in his steps, glaring at me. "They laugh at me! Mocking me through songs! I'm the foolish prince who dumped the girl who became a marvelous Queen."

I felt a pain in my chest at the mention of her, but it was a dull ache, the years spent away from my half sister causing a slow detachment in my heart. I hated her. I despised her still. But it seemed to matter less now, within the confines of this cell. "Why bring this up now?"

"I saw them." Ronan whispered, his eyes haunted. "I saw them both at a diplomatic function. They were happy, smiling. They spoke about their lives... children."

BAM!

His fist struck the bars, causing me to jump back a little at the loud sound. "THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY!"

BAM!

"YOU LIED TO ME, RUINED MY LIFE!"

BAM! The bars shook, but stayed firmly in place, the skin of his hand tore at the repeated blows, blood dripping onto the stone floor at his feet, but he continued to stare at me, ignoring the wound.

"Because of you that bastard took my place! Nate took my wife, my family, my happiness! Even my mother! His kingdom flourishes, while ours goes under." He sat on the floor, his legs seemingly giving out from under him.

"The Duchy of Armeny seceded. They officially joined Tilendria. They were the cornerstone of our economy, our foundation... " He chuckled bitterly. "I will become a king of nothing. And it's your fault."

"Is it really?" I stared at him, a flicker of recognition within me

He nodded. "Yes! You and Nate! He took everything from me! He took my place! My happiness!"

"..." A silence fell between us.

I began to laugh. A quiet, almost silent expression, which soon grew louder and louder, echoing off the bare walls of my cell. It took a long time to regain my composure, but I slowly did, looking up at my former fiancé whose face was pale with rage.

"It was never your place. None of it belonged to you. Even if I hadn't lied to you, even if you had married her, you would have never been as happy as they are now."

"How could you say that?"

"Because we're the same."

I had a feeling deep down, that even if my plan had succeeded, I wouldn't have been happy. How could I have been content when everything in my life had always been focused on her happiness?

I stared at the prince sadly for a moment. I knew if he was saying these things to me, he had likely said them elsewhere too. I had heard rumors that Lenora kept spies in Reterand, and had a feeling she would show little mercy if he tried to plot against her family. He would not have a happy end if he continued down this path.

"Go home, Ronan. Try to forget them. Find your own place. Find your own happiness."

I leaned back on my cot, staring up at the ceiling, refusing to look his way again.

"Before it's too late."

I closed my eyes.

"Before you end up like me."