Grover

Percy had been doing really well since he's gotten back. He says he gets nightmares, but that's it.

That worked out real well until the gods showed up. Wanting a favor out of him.

Mind you, they're not alone. There were a few of us. Including Jason and Leo. Most summer campers had gone home already. Clarisse was still here. Annabeth went home right away. Percy was forced to stay, he can't call his parents or get in contact with them yet. That kind of pissed him off.

Nico was here, too. I don't know, but somebody convinced him to stick around for a first.

"Hey, Percy," they figured that if they sent his dad in first, it'd work.

They were wrong.

"Fuck off."

Everyone did a double take. Because none of us have heard Percy say those words before. On top of that, to a god. A god that was also his father.

"Excuse me?" Poseidon didn't take that lightly. "You're a demigod, you—"

"Who said you have the right?" Percy was done staying quiet, and it was like a switch that I've seen leader after after go through. When they hit their limit. Most leaders just resign, though.

But Percy was like Luke. And Luke wasn't quiet. He said what he thought and that was that. You couldn't change that.

He had turned into Luke. Somebody had to take that spot, right? Now that he's dead.

"I'm sorry," Poseidon looked like he was going to beat his only half human child. "Would you like to apologise for that now or later?"

"Oh, and what are you going to do?" Percy mocked his dad, and we all just sat there, staring at him because he's a dumbass. This would get him killed if he wasn't Perseus Jackson. "Beat me? Try. I doubt you'll get very far. You never cared for my well being in the first place, why should you start?"

Dead. Fucking. Silence.

"You're a fucking disgrace."

"Fine with me. It's not like I was coming back anyways."

And that was that. Poseidon left. Most others had left due to the tension and not wanting to deal with a fight.

He went for a walk. Knowing better, I didn't follow him. Rather, Nico did.

Nico

That was... Unexpected if you want to drop a bag of sugar on it.

It was unlike Percy to do anything like that to anyone. I've never heard him swear before. I don't think he's ever spoken badly about the gods.

So that was....

He said he isn't coming back next summer.

That made my heart sink. I was kind of hoping that we could be friends. I never told him about being gay or anything. But Tartarus messed him up, maybe I could help. I went through it, too.

Sure, I still liked him. But if he was straight, I can learn to get over it. If we could just talk again without screaming at each other, that'd be great. I miss that. Having a friend that I could trust with anything.

"What are you doing back here?" I asked the son of Poseidon as he ended up back by the stream. He seemed to like this place. I've seen him a few times here. Not like stalking him. I just go on walks a lot and I have a route and he's there every so often. Just sitting. Sometimes he'll have something with to do.

He shrugged, and asked me what I was doing.

"I was just uh... I was on a walk." It wasn't a complete lie. "Saw you here. Yeah. I mean, I've seen you here before when I'm walking around. But you... You aren't coming back."

"You sound disappointed," Percy noticed it right away. "Last I checked, you hated me, Nico."

So he did remember that.

"I was mad when I said that," I tried to reason with him. "It's weird, okay? It's going to be weird."

"The camp will get used to it," it didn't even phase him that that was a personal thing, not a general one. "They got used to Luke leaving. It's basically the same thing. I know what I turned into. I know what I said. I won't take it back."

I just store at him for a second.

"You're serious."

"I don't have a reason to joke."

"Why would you leave?" Suddenly I felt a need to make him stay here. To ensure that he'd be back next summer as he had been every other year.

And he snapped in half. Kind of like a pencil. At first it hurts to hear the wood break or maybe you get a splinter. But after that you're kind of down because say it was your favorite pencil. Now it can't be used.

"Give me a fucking reason to stay, Nico!" He didn't have to raise his voice and I think he knew that now. But it wasn't until now that I realized he was crying. Whether he just started or had been, it broke my fucking heart to see. "I fucking hate it here! This place is a reminder of how weak we are in comparison to the gods! Of how useless and how little we are to them until they have a problem and can't figure it the fuck out. We're like flies to them, Nico. What do I have to come back to next summer? My grave? It was dug five years ago."

And I kind of froze for a second. I didn't know what to do. He was crying.

He's never done that before.

"I'm so fucking tired," there was so much pain in his voice that I might as well have been stabbed. "Of everything. If I come back next summer, if I can make it that long, I won't make it."

I had this idea in my head about what he had been talking about. He was holding something back. Choking on air. Not literally. But he wasn't saying something.

"I don't expect you to get it." Percy knew me well enough to know that I was trying to figure this out. "As much as I know that you've been through hell and other places, it's just something you wouldn't understand, Nico. So save your energy for something else. You're staying, right? You can train or something."

If I come back next summer, if I make it that long, I won't make it.

A kid said something like that to me once. Not those exact words. It was in referral to school.

He shot himself three days later.

When that flip switched in my head, my heart just stopped and I didn't want to have to even think about it. Much less have to face or believe it.

Percy's suicidal. This camp drove him to the point of him wanting to kill himself.

If he comes back next summer, assuming he doesn't kill himself before then, he's sure to do it.

He must get in so much pain right now. To hide that from everyone. To only let himself release his emotions in a time like this. When he thought he was alone. Where nobody could hear him.

I probably didn't have the right to give him a hug, but I did anyways. And I'm not she Annabeth has ever given him a hug, because it threw him off so badly. Like he didn't know what to do because I'm not his mom. It's not my job to do that.

He didn't move. I don't think he trusted himself to stay together if he did that.

Percy was derailing, and he was doing it faster than what was safe.

Jason

A few days later we all said goodbye to Percy. And ever since, Nico's been on edge.

We had been alone in my cabin. There was a movie on, but he wasn't really watching it. He was looking beyond the screen, and he had been doing so ever since the movie started​.

And it's been constant that he does this. Hell, Leo is starting to notice this and he's dense as a brick.

"Oh my gods," it finally got to me and I turned off the Tv. He didn't stop looking. "Nico, what are you doing with yourself anymore? He's not coming back next summer, sorry. But he kind of turned out to be an asshole once he was off that ship, yeah? I don't know what you saw in him, but you can't do this all the time! He's gone! You're probably never—"

"Shut up!" He shouted at me as if he had a lot of built up tension. "You don't know what you're talking about, Jason! Don't talk like he's—"

"What?" I snapped right back at him not noticing Leo come inside. Nico was on the verge of tears and I really didn't care. He needs to learn to get over it. "Dead? The next time we see him he probably will be, yeah. He's a fucking idiot, he'll get himself killed sooner or later! He fucking deserved it!"

"He deserves to kill himself!?" Nico challenged my statement, and that shut me up pretty quickly. "Because he's tried, Jason! Why do you think he's not coming back next summer? He can't handle it here anymore! He's been in the hospital for three days! Of course I'm worried sick, I care about him! You should know that by now! You should know that I can't stand to lose him because he's all I have! I can't..."

It had been a while since he had cried. He broke that streak.

Nico loves Percy. He was already a mess when they fought all the time. Now he's a hot mess.

I don't want to see him without Percy there.