A couple of weeks of training in the gym has finally paid off in improving my strength and ability to defend myself in any fight against anyone else who was willing to take in a fight nonetheless, I think it would be better if I can find a shooting range place for the practice of using a firing a handgun because I will do absolutely anything to be able to see my man because I know I hurts so much more to be farther away from him but he always has been putting my safety first no matter how much we miss each other every single day of our life.

I'm writing letters every so often that I can easily express my emotions on a piece of paper every single day to him by writing our code names for each other, and we do this for safety reasons to keep preventing anyone else from knowing our address including our names as I continued writing this letter to him, I didn't even know that my once unshed tears have started falling out of my eyes which has travelled down to paper even though I have no control over my tears drops silently falling onto the paper, therefore, I tried to wipe them away from my eyes as my hand are cramping from writing these letters to him in the pure agony of my beating heart that aches and pains only for him.

"Why is it so impossible to keep myself composed when writing a simple letter?" I whispered and yelled at myself.

Dear charming,

My life these last past few months or weeks have been extremely difficult when you are not around me to keep me motivated by being my number one supporter even if everyone else in the university was constantly asking of you whether or not you were going to come back home to lead our team to victory especially when it is your job as the football team captain to guide our team to victory.
go Saints!

Even for me, that was really cringe-worthy of course and I bet when you are reading this letter you will soon be able to agree with me on this as I could probably picture it now; you sitting down on your chair near your desk chuckling the deep stomach laugh along with a smile cranks upon your face.

Anyway, I have been counting down the days when you will be able to return after all this madness. We need to celebrate our wonderful life and I have gotten a surprise for you when you come back home.

I forgot to mention that my friends and I are taking self-defence classes too.

I miss you so much as the sun would died in order to let the moon to shine in everyday life.

Love ,

Your dove.

"What's up, but before you start to say the ceilingI want a more detailed answer?" asked Penelope sadly, sigh to me.

Penelope know me too well as to understand that I would have responded to her when I get upset about something I would usually say nothing much or the ceiling to avert talking more about my problems regarding how much I love her older brother that I thought of him every day of my life also I have stopped playing the piano since it was the first memory I have of him and me sung a song as we both played on my piano was such a lovely memory in the back of my mind, furthermore, I felt that I keep getting lost in the melody as our story was never told us even if we were both miserable being apart from each other, but we were doing this for a good cause too.

We're doing this for the justices system to caught those escape prisoners who are lurking on the street all nights yet, I somehow realise that I have to make sacrifices in life to get the end result of what I wanted no matter what it takes for us to live in peace together forever and then we can resume to where we left off to be the endgame like we once were before all of mess has started to go out of control.

"The sky is what up but I miss him and it hurts like hell to be without him by my side every nights" I cried out loud in tears  to Penelope.

The universe was testing us all by pulling us apart from each other side to see how long we will lasts on our own for a while so hopefully we can make it out alive again even when they say the distance will make the heart grow stronger or fonder to realise what was there right in front of us all along those lines they were both too young to understand what love was but I know as long as I look into his eyes and then hear his voices every single time I get those beautiful feelings of a spark tingly feeling rushing up my arms including the butterflies flying in my stomach makes me feel like I'm home when I'm in his strong embrace too.

A picture of us on the beach sitting down on sand gazing into each other eyes as I rested my head on his shoulders when he told me a funny joke was screensaver picture on my phone and now I'm sitting here in his rather large grey hoodie that smells so like him as well as I was smiling to myself because it was reminds me of him every time I sniffed this hoodie every single day I close my eyes to imagine him being here next to me.

"Listen me, my brother Layton wouldn't want you to be sad because even he said that you still look beautiful when you cry, but he said that your heart and smile is what he always love about you too" Penelope pointed out to me.

Beyond these ashes of our masses we will still be indestructible for each disaster caused by our mistakes or being framed by other people who are jealous of our success as a result of their own hatred ruled over their mind and heart will never ever succeed because karma will run their course as it occurred in their lives thereafter a lesson must've been learned that you can't trust everyone except for those people who will want to see you succeed as well as been there for me over the years through my up and down every steps of the way.

I heard the doorbell rang throughout the house as I was about to get up off my seat to opened it up yet before I could get to it Penelope offered to help me get the  front door so I stay in seated in my chair in the living room watching a rom-com on the tv when my blonde haired best friend walked into the room and standing there behind her was Marvin who had came to check up on me since I was still in my pjs additionally, stuffing my mouth with popcorn not to mention my eyes was red from all the crying I was doing earlier on today.

"I know now is obviously not a good time to discuss how I felt for you since you are always going to be running or crying back to him in any slightest small Convenience" said Marvin.

Quickly pausing the television to hear what Marvin have to say to me when I notice he said how genuinely he felt about me as in the past tense even if he was right this time about me running or crying back to my boyfriend Layton at the smallest of problems that I might happen in my life instead of sorting it out myself and then Penelope said "I honestly don't like where this conversation goes so I'm just going to stay here for now".

A sharp intake of my breath to calm down as I exhale it out again taking in everything that he was saying to me when I realise that I don't need to explain anything to him anymore except for my heart will always and forever choose Layton over him because everything feels right being with my boyfriend also my love for my man was stronger than anything in this world especially when I get this amazing connection that my best friend and myself have was an incredible and indescribable type of love.

"At the end of every single party or at the end nights i will always choose him because he knows how much fixes everything when my life is falling apart and me feel whole again" i stop talking for a millisecond before I speak again "i feels safe with him also he is the best thing ever that happened to me" i explained to Marvin.

Layton was my solidarity, my soulmate and my heart will forever be pounding inside my chest for him.

Not to mention that he was right about Marvin all along saying that he was still waiting patiently for me to break up with him to get a chance to start dating someone else who is not my boyfriend anymore because it means that Marvin can have me all to himself ,however,  none of that will ever happened when my boyfriend was fighting for a way for both of us to be together again as a couple.

Every single ounce of my heart was telling me to walk away from this room even my head was telling me to tell Marvin to leave my place meanwhile, Penelope was extremely being helpful to me by explaining why I was so in love with her brother to Marvin as I was trying to summon up every possible way to tell him to get out of my accommodation room without being too rude to him nonetheless, I show him my engagement ring on my ring finger to hints that I was still currently taken by my fiance Layton as his eyes went as wide as the size of flying saucers and then I was wishing for my soulmate to be here with me.

My friends came walking into the room blocking the way for Marvin to go near me saying that whatever he wants he says he can say it right in front of them, furthermore, they didn't even let a word come out of his mouth being the protective friends that they were to me.

"Mate, I think it's time that you leave here and never look back or come near her again" warned Elijah.

Elijah was one of the peaceful and quietest boys in our group who was constantly being deep into his thoughts and he decided to speak up to defend me as he was being a loyal friend to me and Layton by kicking him out of my university room whereas everyone else was hugging me. I was super glad to have all of our friends and family members by our side throughout this roller coaster ride that we dared to call life because they make me feel happy every day.

Afterwards, we were sitting down on a sofa while watching a movie or tv show of my choice on the telly eating all sorts of other snacks as we were talking among ourselves happily like nothing had ever happened earlier today and completely forgotten all about it by saying what we were going to spend the money that we got from working on my older brother's closest friends in his university since he went to a different one compared with all of us going to the same one except for Benji my brother.

I stop what I was doing to say how grateful I was for all of them for being there for me and I said, " I am so glad that I have all of you guys in my life because honestly, I will have felt lost or like giving up on myself and I have something to tell you all" I raise my glass of Ribena to everyone else in the room as I pretty much pretend it was a glass of sherry wine in old fashioned to toast to our friendship.

We are all clinking our glasses with each other, and saying what we are thankful for even if it is not a tradition in England, we will have to make it our own for the rest of our lives as we went to watching television series to toasting a glass to our love ones who are alive or died along the way and now we are singing sweet Caroline together in good spirits.

In all honesty, I was so overjoyed that I have been given a second chance to live my life as being back home was a little bit of a struggle for me at first, but then I realised my friends and family members will be there for me especially when the rain starts downpouring in my life and there is nowhere else to go to at the middle of the night I can always go to them.

Everyone else was celebrating when I told them my memories has come back and I have remembered every single thing throughout the days of my life from my childhood to now.