You look out the window, but all you see are blurs.

You learn, but you don't think.

There is right, and there is wrong, nothing in between.

This is the way of life we know in Sunere. Nobody ever questioned it, either because they never thought to, or we were too afraid. I never was quite sure.

And then I came along.

The name's Wesley, but just call me Wes, everyone does. Anyway, this is the story of how I disgraced my family, I started a war, and I died, all because of a book. I had never intended for anything bad to happen, but then again we never do, do we?

I am writing this document not only as a reminder to myself, but mostly as a warning to you, reader, whoever you might be. What has happened in my civilization must never happen again, and I'm presenting the task of preventing it to you. If you're not up to the challenge, put this document down, walk away and pretend you never read this. However, those of you who are up for this tedious task, first you must understand how this all came about.....

The beginning of the end started about three years ago with the loud crash of breaking glass.

I sat bolt right, my heart beating so fast I swear it was going pound right out of my chest. My eyes shot over to the direction of where the crash came from, and left out a breath that I hadn't been aware I had been holding.

There sat my room mate Aspen, on top of the heap of the remnants of the huge computer that was stationed in the center of our dormitory. I was surprised I had been able to hear the crash through the earbuds that still played the music that had lulled me to sleep the previous night.

There goes our third computer this month, I thought dryly glaring at Aspen. It took every ounce of self control in my body not to jump on his head and brutally attack him.

I yanked the earbuds from my ears, something I barely ever did, and placed them on the stand beside my bed. The music was only annoying me right now.

I hated being woken up, I hated it more than death itself. I needed my sleep, without sleep I became evil.

Aspen looked around sheepishly getting to his feet and brushing the clear glass from his shirt, eyeing me warily. "Ops...." He giggled nervously, combing his fingers through his blond hair repetitively as he often did when he was nervous.

Aspen was an uncannily good looking guy and charismatic guy, but for what he had in looks, he seriously lacked in brains- and grace.

He eyed each of his three roommates waiting to see our responses, especially me. Lets just say it would be a lie if I said I hadn't freaked out and jumped on his head trying to strangle him before.... So maybe I had a small anger management problem.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten before collapsing onto my bed with a bounce.

"Aspen, seriously?!" Lachlan yelled, making me glare at the bunk above me. I had heard enough loud noises for one day, I didn't need to add his annoying pitchy voice to the list. "You really need to start watching where you're going!" I heard him sit up as the bed creaked beneath his weight.

"Guys relax. It's just a computer. The elders will replace it. It's no big deal." Came the ever present, ever snooty, voice of reason from across the room. I looked over to see the small freckled face of Yeardly, and yes reader, he is just as ugly as his name. The guy wears the huge goggles that clash with his narrow face. He has auburn hair that sticks up at odd angles, making him look like he has just been electrocuted.

"Hey!" Lachlan growled "This is the most serious day of my life. I need sleep so I don't mess up!"

"Yelling is preventing everyone in the room from sleeping." I growled under my breath, putting the pillow over my face in a lame attempt to block out the sound.

"Lachlan. Ten minutes of sleep isn't going to affect your performance." Yeardly said dryly, with that annoying, ever present 'I'm smarter than you' tone.

"Well forgive me if you don't take today seriously. Forgive. Me." He spat sarcastically "Today is only the day that we are tested before the elders and they sort us to follow one of the paths of the gods. Any god. Including Finnian, the servant god. I don't want to be a slave the rest of my life! I have been training for this day, this one day my entire life! My entire life!" The anxiety in his voice was clear, and if it were later in the day I might of felt bad for my friend, but it wasn't. So I just kind of sat there thinking of ways I could shut them up. I currently was considering ripping my blanket up and forcing gags in their mouths.

Yeardly rolled his eyes removing himself from bed. "If you were properly prepared as I am, there would be no need for worry." He said scooping his Waife Day outfit from the foot of his bed that had been laid out for him the previous day by the servants. "Now if you'd excuse me I'm going to go get ready." He said pushing open the door to the hallway and slamming it behind him as he headed towards the boys bathroom.

Oh how I hated Yeardly. I may of hated him more than I hated missing sleep. "It's a miracle I haven't killed him yet." I grunted from beneath my pillow.

Lachlan laughed. Aspen eased up and walked over to Yeardly's bed and sat on its corner. He pulled out his Zagger and began scrolling through his various social media sites.

"So Wes, are you nervous?" Lachlan asked still in his bunk.

I closed my eyes, praying for the patience not to yell at him to shut up and leave me to my sleep. "No." I say flatly, without much thought, hoping for it to end the conversation. Truth is I'm scared blind, but then again who wouldn't be? One test will affect the rest of your life, and there are no second chances. I'd never admit that I was scared though, I just couldn't.

Instead I got an "Seriously" from not only Lachlan, but Aspen as well. I guess I should of known Aspen was listening, he's a gossip hound that I've only been rooming with for 10 years now.

"Well.... I guess you wouldn't be.... You know since you know your sire.... You know you come from a long line of people who follow the path of Xiomara, so chances are that you're going to be Xiomaran. The rest of us.... We are just shipped here, to the Growth Center right after we are born. We're raised here. And we never know where we came from. I wish my sire had cared as much as yours does...." Lachlan whispered, with a vulnerability in his voice that I wasn't used to hearing. I had to do a double take, Lachlan generally acted so tough. He was right though, I did know who my sire was which was a privilege that most people didn't have. He was a ranking officer in the army, and had pulled a few strings to keep up with me. He drops in like once or twice a month to say hello, I mean I had absolutely no idea why. I'm an incredibly cut off and dislikable person, but he seems pretty genuine.

Aspen raised an eyebrow and looked at us with a twinkle in his eye that meant he had some gossip to share.

"Weeeellllllll....." He said with a small smirk on his lips, "I heard something interesting a few days ago.... But you know I really shouldn't say...."

I furrowed my eyebrows and removed the pillow from my face. This was Aspens game. Get us to beg for information. I hated games. I hurled the pillow at Aspens head from across the room. It hit him square in the face, almost causing him to drop his Zagger, but by some miracle he managed to keep his grip on it. "What was that f-" he started but I cut him off.

I locked eyes with him, "Just spit it out Aspen."

"Fine..." He muttered "No wonder everyone hates you." I ignored the little twinge in my heart from his retort. That wasn't new information. "Well anyway, I heard one of the matriarchs here talking of a time that kids were actually raised by their parents! According to what she said we are only the first or second generation to be raised in a Growth Center!" Aspen said dramatically, but didn't tear his eyes from the screen.

I furrowed my brows, well aware that anything Aspen said was most likely false, still he had managed to catch my interest. "Who was talking about it?" I asked critically.

"Baramade. Thora Baramade. You know her?" Aspen asked, stopping his scrolling to type something vigorously on the flat, square piece of glass.

Oh yes. I knew Baramade. She was a teacher- an evil teacher. The woman must of been Xaron in disguise or something. She was always pestering everyone about every little detail, and in turn people pestered her, but she couldn't take what she dished out so she just would get furious and storm out of class halfway through.

I only nodded, knowing anything I said would be mean.

"Well she was throwing one of her temper tantrums again and she was complaining to Regina about why we just couldn't go back to the old days- quote- 'when sires raised their own brats'."

That actually sounded like something Baramade would say, but then again Aspen had been at this whole gossip thing since before he could walk.

"And then," Aspen said his eyes wide, "Regina went on to explain how kids were a negative influence on parents. Their thoughts could affect the parents minds, and like so the parents thoughts could influence the child's thoughts. So having a Growth Center is just safer."

Lachlan laughed, jumping down from the bunk. "That story had more crud in it than Yeardly's underwear." He said grabbing his clothes from the floor and walking out of the room.

I looked at the clock, it's red numbers glowed red, 6:56 AM. I sigh, I only had a half out til the ceremony and being late was the last thing I needed.

I glanced at Aspen who had gotten up early and gotten dressed before I had woken up. He looked peppy and fresh as he always did, as if the lack of sleep didn't bother him. Aspen was stupider than I thought.

I moan loudly pulling myself to out of the warm comfort of my bed and stumbled over to the foot of my bed. I rubbed my eyes groggily and fumbled with the traditional Wafe outfit that had been laid out for me. I hadn't looked at it but just by glancing at it I could tell it was hideous. Sucks for me.... I thought disgruntled as I nearly toppled into the nightstand. I glanced down at me earbuds and after brief consideration of whether I wanted my music back or not I grabbed the earbuds off the bed stand. I shoved them back in my ears as I opened the door and stumbling down the hallway like a zombie. Man, I hated the morning.

The hallway was packed with kids walking to and fro their rooms, anxiously getting ready.

The earbuds buzzed, no longer playing music but playing a religious sermon about Xaron, the god of chaos. I had heard the old tale about him possessing the ancient man and mentally willed the earbud to change stations, this time it flipped to an news channel. I almost changed it again but something about the news cast caught my attention. "I'm here in downtown Chandelle at the scene of a horrific event, a huge stash of books has been discovered in the custody of Uri Payton, the esteemed Deependeren inventor. The authorities have set the house to flame with the books inside, however Uri's sentence has yet to be determined. Stay tuned for updates-"

I shut the earbud off, something I barely ever did. Why would someone risk arrest to read a book? From what I was told about them they were evil, utterly useless creations that came from Xaren. Apparently he used to corrupt the minds of humans. I was tempted to backtrack to my room and ask Aspen (who had an opinion on everything) what he thought, but decided that the issue wasn't worth the the walk back, after all I was already here.

No one paid me any mind as I shoved open the heavy door to the bathroom. It was jam packed with boys getting ready, the steam from the showers curled like fog over the tiled floors and made the room humid, uncomfortably so. The room was packed so much that when one small boy slipped on the wet tiles, he fell right into another boy.

I curled my lip. Maybe Aspen was onto something with the whole getting up early to avoid the crowds thing. I hated getting changed in front of people... I hated people in general. Most of the time I got up later than everyone else, missing my first class and the crowds. I generally got in yelled at, but no one really ever enforced getting up early, so I didn't.

I considered trying to find a secluded corner, but lets face it, there were none. I bit my lip scouring the bathroom, avoiding looking at any of the other boys as much as possible.

I glanced at a locker briefly considering shoving myself in one of them and trying to get changed. Then logic caught up with me and I realized there was no way I was going to be able to shove myself in a four by one cubicle.

I must be hanging around Aspen too much, his stupidity is catching.

That was when the obvious answer to my problem hit me. I smiled. I was a genius. I navigated my way through the crowd toward the showers.

Most of the guys were skipping the showers because they wouldn't really have time to dry off before the ceremony which started at 7:30. I had no trouble finding an empty one, I selected the one closest to the wall and stepped inside. I closed the curtain behind me, it was flimsy, but still a curtain, congratulating myself on my brilliant plan. The floor was damp, it had been used earlier, but it wasn't damp enough to get on my clothes.

This was perfect. Way too perfect. Watch, something bad was going to happen.

Moving as fast as I could I slipped on the black jeans, which were the only part of the outfit I didn't hate. The top was a turquoise tank top that was so tight I swear it was squeezing my innards out, I'd like to think that this was a mistake and they just got me the wrong size and weren't purposely trying to squeeze all of us to death, but I wouldn't put it past them. Over the tank I slung a white linen scarf that was all flowy and ugly.... Like something Lachlan would wear and think looked cool. The boots were the worst though, and small shrivel of hope the outfit had was brutally butchered by the tall white lace up hunters boots with the weirdly thick soles.

I sigh. At least everyone had to wear the same thing, so I wouldn't look quite as stupid.

I flung open the curtain and walked over to the sinks to wash my face. A black haired boy gave me an odd look when he saw me emerge from the showers. "Did you get dressed in there...?" He asked as if the concept was hard for him to grasp.

I turned and glared pointedly at him. "You got a problem with that?"

He shook his head and kept walking. The sinks were way more packed than they should of been, I had to wait a few minutes before a spot opened enough so I could squeeze in.

As soon as I did I realized why they were so packed. The matriarchs had placed eyeliner out, I felt my heart sink as I looked at it.

The boy, Zalick I think, next to me smirked when he saw my expression. He had gone the extra mile of adding swirls that branched out from the corners of his eyes. "It could be worse." He said with his unmistakable dry crackly voice "They could be making us have full facials, with bright pink lipstick." He chuckled darkly and continued applying his eyeliner.

"Ok..." I said haltingly picking up a stray brush and dipping it in one of the trays filled with the black inky liquid. "But why?" I asked dumbly looking in the mirror and running the brush across my lid. I realized instantly that it made my eyes stand out, which was the last thing I wanted. My eyes were different colors, one blue and the other green. A lot of people thought that is was a sign of Xaron's possession, it obviously wasn't- but my charming personality didn't help convince people of that.

Zalick raised one eyebrow, "Do I honestly look like I care enough to know?"

"Yeah, Zalick. You aren't exactly Einstein." A high annoying voice came from beside me. I didn't have to turn to know who that was.

Yeardly.

I accidentally stabbed my eye with the eyeliner, the liquid stung my eye excruciatingly. I suppressed a scream as my hands flew up to my eyes and pressed the eye as if pressing it made the pain go away.

It didn't.

"Neither are you, Wes." Yeardly added dryly, I turned to glare at him with my one available eye. He had attempted to make his eyes look like gears and around the initial coat had drawn little squares.

I removed my hand from my eye and looked in the mirror. My eye was red, the eyeliner was smeared, making me look like I had been punched. I was too lazy to fix it.

"But luckily I am one of the rare, brilliant few. A light, a beacon of hope amongst the simpletons!" Yeardly continued. Oh how I wanted to viciously maim him.

The sloppy strokes I took as I circled my remaining eye got more sloppy as I tried to keep my temper.

"You see, the eyes are the doorway to the soul, and when we circle out eyes with black it opens the doors to our soul allowing The Guardians to see inside!" He said rather matter 'o factly.

"Who told you that? Aspen?" I growled rolling my eyes and throwing the brush back into the tray. The eye I had just completed looked slightly better than first one and I felt accomplished. My day was complete.

"You know that's a funny statement, you know coming from you of all people." Yeardly said snidely.

I froze, every muscle in my body tensing up. He wasn't....

Yeardly sensed the power he had suddenly acquired smiled, taking a step closer to me and went on, "You know after what you didn't believe Aspen telling you back in-" Without thinking I grabbed the tray of ink and flung it in Yeadlys face cutting him off mid sentence. It splashed all over his face, cutting him abruptly.

I had to control every instinct in my body to keep from punching him.

"You, imbecile!" Yeardly gasped spitting ink from his mouth.

I bit my tongue and stormed out of the bathroom, pushing a few unfortunate people out of the way as I walked. I shoved the door open getting hit with a burst of air cool air.

The hallway was significantly less crowded than it had been previously. I glanced at the clock, 7:15.

I decided that it would be wise to head toward the place where the ceremony would be held. I heard it was in the courtyard, I had only been outside three or four time and saying I was excited was an understatement.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped spinning around to see a smirking Lachlan.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" I snapped at him. He however was unfazed, used to my high strung responses.

"Relax, I was just congratulating you on what you did to Yeardly." He laughed, "He totally had it coming to him."

"He's had it coming to him for a number of years." I grunted, falling into pace with Lachlan. The black haired boy was really the closest thing I had to a friend, I mean we didn't talk much, but we ate together and he often worked out with me. Today however, Lachlan just wouldn't shut up. I could tell he was a ball of nerves, mainly because I was always a ball of nerves. You know, one ball of nerves to another. Only difference was that I was a silent, antisocial ball of nerves.

"Do you wonder what happens after we leave here?" He asked suddenly, looking over at me questioningly.

I had, I mean we had been raised here and nobody ever told us what came next. Aspen had told us that we move to another center, much like the Growth Center, except for adults.

I nodded numbly, "Yeah..." I said not really listening, my eyes focusing on a crowd that was forming ahead and blocking the hallway.

"I mean we know that this ceremony will determine which of the gods paths we follow, we know that we will work in our field assigned to us.... But is it actually like.... Out there?" He asked, deeply troubled.

I wasn't really listening to him though, I was more focused on the hallway clogged in front of me. The kids cheered and laughed at whatever they were surrounding....

"What's going on over there...?" I muttered curiously pushing my way into the crowd. Lachlan tried to grab me and pull me back for whatever reason but I just shrugged him off and pushed people aside trying to get a good view.

What I saw put me through the roof. I saw Barricade, big, brutey Barricade,attacking a small blond girl. I mean it wasn't even a fight, it was just Barricade beating a small girl who couldn't of been more than thirteen or fourteen. And... And everyone was just standing here cheering him on! It would be a lie to say that I wasn't furious.

"What the fike, Barricade?!" I yelled without thinking, pushing my way into the circle and shoving him over with strength in my body. "Beating up little girls is low. Even for you." I spat as he toppled sideways, but managed to keep from falling.

Barricade turned to face me, standing up to his full height and looked down at me his eyes blazing. I almost regretted yelling at him, I stepped back a step before realizing what I was doing and stopped. Barricade, as large and intimidating as he was just a jerk, and I wasn't about to let him scare me.

I stepped forward.

"What the fike yourself, Wes." He growled grabbing the front of the my shirt. I had all I could do not to scream and run for my life. "Look this is none of your business. Now I'm going to give you one chance to walk away and we will pretend none of this ever happened."

I hated how I actually wanted to accept his offer.... But I couldn't. He was freaking going to kill her. I looked over his shoulder to see the girl looking over at me, her face bloody and bruised, but there was a spark of hope in her eye.

I turned to face Barricade again, looking him right in the eye and said with every fiber of defiance I could utter, "I will not just walk away so you can beat her up more. Look, I have no idea what your problem is, but beating up little girls is not going to solve it." Around me some of the kids laughed, I hadn't meant that statement to funny, but whatever.

A tad of panic crossed Barricades face when he heard the laughter, then his face contorted into rage. He swung a punch at my head, I ducked twisting from Barricades grasp and stumbled back. I felt a jaw breaking pain in my stomach and I suddenly was on the ground with an explosion of pain thumping in my rib cage, I realized he had kicked me.

He walked leisurely toward me, as if he expected I wasn't going to get up. Well he expected wrong, I thought, forcing myself to my feet as fast as I could and turning to face him. He looked a little surprised, but charged anyway. He swung his leg up in a roundhouse kick, I ducked with more speed than I knew I possessed, still his kick grazed my head. He stumbled a little off balance, and I sent a punch to his jaw. It connected with devastating force and he collapsed, motionless on the ground.

At first no one moved, I just stared expecting him to get up and kill me. I walked toward him and realized he was unconscious. I had won. Most people probably would have bathed in their victory- not me. The only thing going through my head was that I needed to get the heck out of here before he woke up and murdered me.

I threw my fist in the air claiming victory, as I ran a few steps before settling into a fast walk. The kids who had watched the fight moved out of the way, allowing me to pass without having to shove. They were still silent, as if unable to grasp that I had actually beaten him. I over my shoulder, a few boys trying to gain brownie points with Barricade attempted to wake him.

I walked faster trying to get lost in the crowd, he was going to scalp me and eat my heart when he woke up. No one ever won fights against Barricade, I must of gotten lucky.... If you could call being on Barricade's kill list lucky.

I glanced over my shoulder again, I didn't see Barricade.... Still he was probably planning my death as we speak,oh my gosh. I felt my heart rate raise at least six beats as I navigated the halls faster. I expected to see him every time I looked back.

"Stop.... You're being paranoid." I said aloud, stopping walking and putting my hand to my scalp. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

Suddenly I felt a cold hand on my back, I let out a small scream, jumping a few steps and spinning around. I let out a breath when I saw it was the girl Barricade had been beating up. It's not Barricade, I told myself trying not to have a heart attack.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" She cried stepping unevenly back a few steps. My eyes flitted to her feet, I noticed she was crippled in her left leg.

"I'm fine, now go away." I said kindly, a conversation being the last thing wanted right now. I started to walk away.

"Wait, wait please, I just wanted to thank you!" She said running to catch up to me.

I sigh, knowing unless I wanted to be outwardly mean there was no way I was going to get rid of her. I looked down at her, she was short and petite with a huge mop blond curls on her head covering most of her upper body. She was pretty too, she had sparkly blue eyes, framed by black eyeliner. I realized she was older than I had originally thought, being dressed in the girls Waif day apparel; a white flowy linen tunic with white lace up boots like mine.

I looked away, feeling my cheeks flame, wanting to get out of there all the more now.

"Your welcome. Look I've gotta go to the courtyard for the ceremony. Goodbye." I snapped, speeding up my pace all the more.

"Well, I'm going there too! Would you walk with me? Please?" She asked limping, painfully trying to keep up with me. She glanced over her shoulder and added with a desperate tone, "I'm scared!"

I clenched my jaw and stopped walking. "Fine. But don't talk to me." I growled, I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw her look down sadly, like she thought I hated her or something. "Don't take it personally. I'm not much of a talker." I added, feeling rather mushy for being nice to her. Generally I would of just told them to suck it up, but I found myself feeling bad for her for whatever reason. Ughh! Feelings were so stupid! They got in the way of everything!

"I'm Colbolt, by the way." She said hesitantly.

"I'm Wes." I say a lot softer than I had meant for it to come out, I felt my cheeks flush more. "Let's go." I snapped, walking just slow enough so she could keep up.

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There. For all of you who have been asking me why I haven't written anything; here, I wrote something. :)