The Association say my security is paramount.  Now I have three cameras strategically placed in my clothing, and heat pads on at all times.   

With my ounce of soul I can see things with a little clarity, so school looks different this time.

The students greet me with a sea of warm smiles as I make my way to the locker area to meet with Casey and Toby.

Casey beckons me. I walk towards them, feeling a flutter of warmth in the cold space that used to be my stomach; it's nice to have living friends, especially one who knows my status. 

Dale rounds the corner and stops me before I reach my friends.  His left hand rests on my shoulder, he grasps my right hand with his, "Kirk, I want you to know I'm sorry for your hazing. I really didn't mean for it to be anything more than a prank, a guy thing," he says, his eyes fixed on mine: a fleeting familiarity puzzles me.

Dale turns his attention towards Casey, "Hey Casey, I apologies for the things Jenna and I said in the interview. That said, we did believe you were holding Kirk back a little. I swear we didn't say what we said out of badness. I hope we can move on from this and be friends?" He says, while extending his hand toward her. 

I study Casey's face to read her reaction; I can't find any emotion I've been taught. She doesn't smile, "Sure Dale, let's forgive and forget," she says, while taking his hand.

As soon as Dale departs, Casey's face takes on an expression I can read – irritation. "Oh man, that guy's sly," she says, with anger in her voice. Toby calms her, "Give him a chance Casey. We need this bull to blow over." Casey gently thumps her locker, "Yep, you're right – but, until they find out who beat you, I'll still believe it's Dale." She drops her head, shakes it, and looks back up at Toby, "I see an evil look in that guy's eyes; I can't deny what I see – Dale's bad, I feel it."

......

My first period is English.

In class there is a rush of students who want to sit with me. A blonde girl launches herself on the chair next to mine, "Hi Kirk, I get to sit next to a school celebrity, how cool is that?"

This girl talks fast, " I love what you did with your hazing video, the way you ate those fake guts, you looked the real deal, total genius! I love zombies, play zombie Apocalypse constantly, shame the movie bummed big time, you seen it? " she asks. "No," I reply. She gives me a look I read as confused, "What kinda zombie fan are you?" But she doesn't give me time to answer, "I'm Jess by the way, my zombie name's Jekko. Check out my Youtube channel, I do zombie make-up tutorials...

The teacher enters and hollers over, "Enough Jess, zip the talk; get your head into Romeo and Juliet – this is English class, not a zombie convention," she says, with authority and a smile I read as warm.

Jess spends the whole class drawing zombie faces on the outside pages of Romeo and Juliet. At the end of the period, she jumps up, "Man that was boring. Have you read this Kirk," she grabs a book from her back-pack, "FEED – it's brilliant?" The teacher approaches, wearing her warm smile, "Jess, not every body shares your passion for the undead. Put that trash away and go get to your next period.

It's good the teacher stepped in – 'zombie' is a word I need to avoid.

......

As the teacher talks during History class, a seed of sadness sprouts – I have a memory from life of Mom telling me old stories from her childhood – the recollection soon withers. Nothing flourishes in death. 

The klaxon sounds. Lunchtime.

......

I've had an early morning feed, so I'm OK. Dad wants me to join Toby and Casey in the lunchroom, to be seen to integrate. I have a fake-shake. These are empty, weighted cartons, with 'nutritional supplement' branding on them. If anyone asks why I don't eat lunch, I'm to tell them I have 'special dietary requirements.'

I never lied when alive. In death, my dishonesty is constant. 

......

The lunch hall buzzes with the sound of young life. I see the collections of cliques that Casey talks of: cools, goths, nerds, jocks and jerks. Casey says we should form our own clique: The No Bull-Shit Brigade.

I stand and stare at the crowded chaos, unsure of what to do. Toby spots me, "Over here Kirk," he hollers. I'm happy to see Casey at the same table.

I sit next to Casey and take out my fake-shake. 

Before Casey has a chance to talk with me, Dale arrives, "Hi guys, mind if I join you?" he asks, carrying a tray of food. "Sure," says Toby. 

"You OK with me being here Casey, you don't look happy?" Dale asks. She gives a smile that doesn't look real, "No problem Dale; had a bad morning, that's all." Dale's eyes meet mine: I see something in them?

Dale talks between mouthfuls of food, "You people should count yourselves lucky to be in the company of Kirk and I – we're media stars now, aren't we Kirk?" He says, with his wide white smile.  I'm not sure how to answer him, so just nod. Casey laughs, "I hope you're kidding Dale?" I read a look of surprise on Dale's face, "I'm serious. Kirk and I should build on the attention we've received, turn it into a positive media story, you know, like: 'guy accused of bullying helps student with learning difficulties' that kinda thing. This thing could be good for both of us – and the school."

I suck my fake-shake while Casey and Toby disagree with Dale. Their voices begin to rise. I read anger on all three faces. Not good.

As the anger mounts, Jess jumps from another table," Hey, CALM IT! You guys are supposed to be friends now; building bridges and all that stuff the principle lectured us on." Her words have an effect. Quiet descends.

Jess slurps on a large coke, then launches into her favourite subject, "Man, you guys faked the best zombie vid on the net. If you need special-effects for your next one, I'm your girl..."  Casey interrupts, "It wasn't faked Jess, and can we change the subject, it's a sensitive one right now."

I read a look of excitement on Jess's face, "It wasn't faked, you mean Kirk's a REAL zombie?" Casey laughs, "You're too funny."  Jess glugs her coke, then continues, "But not funny when it comes to zombies. I know you're no real zombie Kirk – no offence. But, here's the thing: some cultures believe in the concept of a re-animated corpse, via voodoo or witchcraft. I have a strong belief in their existence – you need to respect people's beliefs Case. You mind if I call you Case, Case?" she asks. "Call me Case, Jess, and I respect your beliefs," says Casey, with a smile I read as affectionate.

Toby gives a disbelieving chuckle (but he knows she's right), "Now's the time to visit the bathroom," he says, while giving me a wink. This is code; it means I mustn't answer any questions until he returns. 

Dale suddenly sits beside me. He embraces me. I'm confused. He pulls me close, then says, "Smile Kirk – this is gonna be our facebook fan page pic." I smile and see Jenna, Dale's girlfriend holding her cell-phone in front of us.

Afterwards, Jenna sits and studies her cell-phone, "I like it Dale, you look hot as hell. I'll post it," she says. Casey isn't happy, "Come on Jenna, don't go posting photos of Kirk on-line, respect his privacy." Jenna glares at Casey, then stares at me, "Can you talk for yourself Kirk?" she asks. I don't answer her. Jenna sticks her face close to mine, "Kirk, are you OK with me uploading this picture to Dale's fan page? If you don't answer me, I'll just do it," she says. I don't answer. "Man-up Kirk!" snaps Jenna, while tapping her phone with a look I read as determination. 

Jess stands real slow, and snatches Jenna's cell-phone real fast. I read a shocked look on Jenna's face, which turns to anger when Jess drops the cell into her Coke – splat! 

Jenna stares at Dale with her mouth hanging open in a look I read as disbelief. Quiet surrounds us.

"You'll regret that Jess," says Dale, in a soft, quiet tone. 

Jess replies in an equally soft tone, "Are you threatening me Dale? Do you beat-up girls – as well?" 

Casey looks at Jess with a look I read as extreme interest.

Dale ignores Jess. His face moves close to mine, until our noses almost touch. Then, I see it. Something that, even with my diluted emotional state, upsets me:  a hint of Callum, my living self, lurks in him.

My once kind and caring soul, burns behind his brown eyes – with a destructive desire.

Dale breaks the stare, with a low whisper, "Whatever it is your hiding Kirk, I'll find it – trust me!"

I need Toby to return. Without him I don't have a voice.

Where is Toby?