The surrounding air was cold and thick. The wind gently blew over the bruised and bloody skin. Jace wrapped his bare arms around himself. He was pacing back and force. His mind was spinning and images of what he had done danced in him mind. Jace closed his eyes tightly and leaned his head back. He felt so numb, empty, worthless and broken. He hated himself so much right now. Seeing Clary hurt by his hands, the pain he felt inside, Everyone's face in his mind. He felt over whelmed by it all. He collapsed to the ground. He was short of breath and his whole body was shaking. He could feel his heart pounding fast inside his chest. He couldn't seem to breathe, he was having a panic attack. Jace's golden eyes were filled with water but he tried his best to hold back the tears. He was all alone but still felt the need to hold up his brave personality. But he couldn't anymore, he allowed to tears and the hurt to escape from him. He cried out in pain and laid down on the smooth cold tile ground. Jace brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around himself.
He could hear Valentine's voice in his head, "To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be destroyed."
He then saw Clary and he loved her so much. He was connected to her but he also felt distant from her. Thoughts of being unimportant and nothing flowed through his mind, he then began to think that everyone would be better off without him, that Clary wouldn't be harmed because or by him. That she would be safe, that everyone would be okay if he wasn't here any longer. So at this Jace stopped crying and he allowed the numbness to consume him. He pressed himself off the ground and stood up slowly. He turned to look at his brother, Sebastian, who laid still and who hanged between life and death. He closed his eyes and held his head low, he saw his younger brother Max, who had been killed because of Sebastian and he saw the pain within the family and the hurt behind Alec's eyes and the pain within Isabelle's voice. Jace raised his head and looked up at the night's sky, it was beautiful. The sky was black but lit up by a thousand stars. Jace inhaled sharply as Clary's voice came into his mind, "I love you, always and forever."

Jace shock his head and closed his eyes. He knew what needed to be done. While he still live then there was a huge possibility that everyone that he loved and cared about would be hurt or worst because of him, also if he remained here, alive and breathing then Sebastian could have a greater chance at a second life and he couldn't allow his family to be hurt even more by that monster's hands, he had already token enough. Jace thought of Izzy and Alec. He couldn't lose them because he was selfish enough to continue to live. He felt like living was a mistake and a risk to everyone, he couldn't handle it anymore. Everything was too much, he felt broken and horrible. He was so tired of putting on a strong and brave face any longer, he was so tired of fighting. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to cause pain and distressed to the ones around him. He was...he was done.


Jace stood all alone on the roof, looking out over the city. His hands were shaking a lot and he was pacing around before he closed his eyes tightly, laying his hands on the cold edge. Jace took a long deep breath, breathing in the cold air into his lungs. His whole body was tense. Some part of him was waiting to hear the elevator doors open and for Shadowhunters to come in and to see Alec and Clary once again and for them to save him from himself, but sadly time passed and no one came to his rescue. Jace leaned his head back and lean over the edge, looking down at the ground far below. No one came, he was all alone with his dark thoughts.

I am like Valentine, He thought.
Jace looked down at his hand. He held his real father's blade in his hand. Jace was shocked, somehow he had picked it up and now he held it in his hands, staring at the blade. His chest tighten as he thought about all the times he had woken up with this blade in his hand, with Clary dead because of him, because of the darkness that lives within him. He thought, "I am like Valentine and Sebastian. I am evil and deserve no happiness. If I keep living I will only hurt those I love and I can't do that, I won't. I won't hurt them, this is....for the best."
At first he tired to slide the dagger into his belt but he froze, turning the blade in his hand. He gripped tighter on the dagger, his wrist twisting, turning the blade. Jace soon turned the blade on himself. His heart was pounding within his chest, he was shaking and sweating.
He slowly brought the blade to his wrist. He exhaled and looked quickly up at the stars in the night sky. Soon he touched the cold metal to his own cold skin and pulled it slowly across, living a fine gash. Soon, dark red blood escaped from the gash and Jace gasped as he felt stinging coming from his wrist. He then dropped the blade, listening to it hit the ground, imaging his own self falling and laying on the cold surface. He walked closer to the edge and climbed up.

Images of his life flashed before his eyes, most were awful memories but some were good, great even. Jace bit his lip hard, a small piece of him hoping that he would snap out of this state but he felt deep down that this was for the best, the right choice to make for everyone he cared about. He closed his eyes tightly and whispered to himself, to the world, "I'm sorry. Forgive me."
Jace slowly took a step off the ledge and felt the wind rushing pass him, the heaviness of his body being forced downwards. He opened his eyes for a moment, seeing the ground get nearer. He then closed them more tightly, seeing his all the people he cared about. He knew that they would all be hurt by this but they would be alive and out of harms way because of him, because of this darkness that had become him. The cool wind continued to flow pass and through him until he finally meet the darkness and never saw the stars lights in the night sky or the ones he cared about again.