"...I'm sorry, could you repeat that one more time?"

Her jewel-like red hair.

Her blue eyes, contrasting with her hair, desperately avoid my gaze.

Miss Rubia's face was filled with shame.

Normally, I wouldn't want to press her like this. After all, I owe Miss Rubia a lot.

If there was something she didn't want to talk about, I could respect that.

"So... you said you got into a knife fight with the kids?"

But this was a bit much.

This was far beyond what anyone could reasonably ignore.

All I asked was for her to get a signature on a confirmation. How did that escalate into a knife fight?

This was beyond ridiculous—it was shocking.

"There, there was a reason it had to be that way!"

Miss Rubia shouted, her face reddening.

It was hard to distinguish her hair from her face now.

She must have been embarrassed.

"What kind of reason would make you test the kids with a knife fight...?"

I sighed as I spoke, and Miss Rubia shrank.

She looked like a wilting plant.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel sorry for her.

But this was something that couldn't be overlooked.

'Can I really trust her to take care of the kids?'

I always knew she had a bit of an eccentric side, but this was borderline psychopathic.

"What made you think it was a good idea to attack children under ten with the artifact I gave you? On the very day you received it, no less!"

Miss Rubia's usual eloquence was useless now.

It was painfully clear who was at fault.

Miss Rubia shriveled even more than before.

"S-Sorry..."

Miss Rubia, on the verge of tears, mumbled her apology.

I wasn't cruel enough to slap someone who was already about to cry.

So, I stopped scolding her and sighed.

Miss Rubia kept rambling on, making excuses.

She explained that she intended to scare them a little, but it turned into a bizarre test. I understood that much.

However, I couldn't wrap my head around her thought process.

'How easily swayed can a person be?'

She was incredibly competent in her work.

It was hard to believe that the competent woman in front of me was the same trembling mess.

'And she's always so dramatic.'

Anyone would think we were running some dangerous and criminal organization.

I only asked her to check if the kids had the determination to continue their training, not to put them through some grand ordeal.

It was common sense that I wouldn't put the kids in any real danger.

Even if something did come up, I would handle it as humanely as possible.

There was no need for, nor did I want, a level of determination involving risking their lives.

"...Do you have anything else to say?"

However, what's done is done.

Since it couldn't be undone, I decided to let it go and move on.

Miss Rubia still stood in front of me.

She kept avoiding my gaze, fidgeting nervously, and then she finally spoke.

"Uh... one of the kids got hurt."

"...So you're telling me, not only did you use an artifact to attack a child under ten, but you even drew blood?"

Miss Rubia's face turned crimson.

The morning sun beyond the window made it almost impossible to distinguish between the two.

"Could... could you use healing magic...?"

Miss Rubia, swallowing her shame, opened her mouth to speak.

I barely held back the urge to say, 'You couldn't even cast a simple healing spell, so you had to come to me for help?'

If I had said that, I felt like her face would turn even redder and then explode.

"...Fine, bring them here quickly."

I sighed deeply as I spoke.

Honestly, she was a Noona who didn't act her age, making me worry about her future.

******

Fortunately, the kids weren't too badly injured.

Three of them had some cuts on their hands, but nothing was severed.

It was something I could handle on my own without bothering Siel, who was still recovering.

The treatment was done in no time.

The two kids bowed their heads to me in overwhelming gratitude before leaving.

They even said things like, "We'll be in your care from now on, captain!" which was quite endearing.

They were disciplined, but seeing such young children say those things was just cute.

As I was thinking about the kids who had just left,

-Knock, knock!

I heard a knock on the door.

Naturally, my face turned puzzled.

'Who could it be?'

Siel never knocks before entering.

Lien usually says, "C-Can I come in?" before entering my room.

Miss Rubia does knock politely, but she had just left after saying everything she had to say, so why would she come back?

"Come in."

As I spoke, the door creaked open.

It was the girl from before.

The blind girl I rescued from the black market, the one with the "1201" tattoo.

Her brown hair and white eyes showed clear signs of tension.

The girl approached me with a slightly flushed face.

"Are you hurt anywhere?"

At my question, the girl shook her head.

"No, I just... came to say that I'll be in your care from now on!"

The way she bit her tongue was quite cute.

Come to think of it, Miss Rubia had told me about this girl.

She had excelled in the impromptu test.

She had shown the most promise.

I also heard that she persuaded everyone. Thinking about that made me even more proud of her.

"I heard you did really well this time. Is there anything you want as a reward?"

So I asked her.

Maybe an artifact would be perfect.

I had already given Siel an artifact related to stamina.

For Lien, artifacts were unnecessary since her body itself was exceptional.

Miss Rubia also got one that suited her perfectly.

"Really?!"

The girl's eyes sparkled with excitement.

Then, she made a rather unexpected request.

"Could I receive a name?"

It was a slightly surprising question.

I reflexively wanted to ask why but quickly closed my mouth.

Why would an orphan girl who had been enslaved want a name?

Maybe she had a name given by her parents, but they sold her off.

Or perhaps she never had a proper name in her entire life.

Either way, bringing it up wouldn't help.

"Of course."

I smiled kindly as I spoke.

Naming... It was too sudden for me to think clearly.

I'd never had this experience before.

I was about to give a name that would stick with her for life. It shouldn't be done thoughtlessly.

I wanted to give her a meaningful name.

"'Jang Hayang."

After a moment of contemplation, I said it.

It felt a bit out of place for a fantasy setting, being too Korean, but the meaning was more important than the cultural fit.

"How about 'Hayang,' which means starting anew from a blank slate?"

Asking for a name likely meant she wanted a fresh start.

I thought this name would suit her well.

Just 'Hayang' felt a bit odd, so I added my original surname, making it 'Jang Hayang.'

...Is it a bad name?

I wasn't confident in my naming skills.

I carefully watched the girl's expression.

But it seemed my worries were unfounded.

The girl beamed and nodded enthusiastically.

Despite the lackluster name, her joy was so evident that I couldn't help but feel grateful.

I patted the girl's head as she softly repeated the name I had given her.

No matter the process, it felt like everything had come to a satisfying conclusion once again.

*****

Siel stared blankly, observing what was happening before her.

Ian was gently patting a child's head.

He looked extremely happy.

'He seems busy.'

She had come to report, feeling better now, but it seemed like she would be interrupting if she went in.

She had no idea what was happening,

why Ian was patting the child, or why he looked so pleased.

But as long as Ian was happy, that was enough for her.

There was no reason to intrude, no need to interfere.

In fact, she shouldn't interfere.

So, Siel quietly turned back to where she had come from.

But as she walked away, she pondered.

...It seemed like something about her had changed.

Chapter 46: Look at Me (2)

What is love?

It was a slightly embarrassing question.

However, for Siel, it was an incredibly serious matter.

Every action she took stemmed from that love.

Siel lay on the bed, lost in thought. Normally, she wouldn't be troubled by such things.

It was only natural.

Above all, she knew the correct and beautiful form of love.

Pure love.

The love her mother had given her.

A love that dedicates everything to the other,

A love where you can gladly burn yourself for the sake of the other.

She grew up receiving that kind of love.

Therefore, her form of love couldn't help but be similar.

She gave half of her soul to that ominous wolf.

To save the one she loved.

Even when that girl named Lien suddenly appeared,

Even when that person named Rubia, who didn't even revere the captain, kept getting entangled with him,

And just now.

Even when that nameless slave girl enjoyed the luxury of receiving a new name from the captain while being petted.

She never said a word.

She never expressed any dissatisfaction.

Of course, because it was all good for Ian.

If she truly care for Ian, accepting it was the right thing to do. She shouldn't prioritize her feelings over those of the one she love.

'But...'

Then, why are these feelings emerging?

Why do these negative emotions arise?

Every time such things happened, why did something squirm in her chest? Why did her heart throb so painfully?

She couldn't understand it.

'This is strange.'

She loves Ian.

She definitely does. Then, she should be satisfied as long as he is happy.

Strange thoughts kept creeping into her mind.

Even though she knew she shouldn't, ugly emotions boiled within her.

[Hmm...]

It was when she was having those thoughts that she sensed the wolf's presence after a long time.

[Blood is blood, after all.]

The wolf said, with a meaningful smile.

"Shut up."

However, Siel did not question the wolf's cryptic words.

Of course, she was thinking about Ian right now.

She was thinking about the one she loved. She had no time to listen to the voice of such an insignificant being.

But...

[If you're going to grumble about that, you shouldn't have made the contract in the first place, kid.]

The wolf said, with a hateful smile.

[Did you really think you could give up half of your soul without paying any price?]

There was a reason people were reluctant to offer their souls to a demon.

Half of a soul.

As long as you don't cross that line, your soul won't be bound to the demon after death.

There wouldn't be any side effects like temporarily losing control of your body to the demon.

However, despite this, making a contract with a demon is still highly undesirable.

Giving up half of your soul means that the demon's influence on your mind increases by that much.

Especially, the higher the demon's rank, the stronger the influence.

Once you start listening to the demon's whispers, that's the end.

There's a reason high-ranking demons often demand half of a soul as the price.

While the human making the contract thinks their soul hasn't been entirely given over yet, it's also the point at which the demon can almost certainly seduce the human.

That is the significance of giving up half of your soul.

[You should be grateful to me, kid.]

"..."

[I'm not trying to seduce you because I know. I know that someday, when that Ian guy is in danger, you'll give me anything.]

"Shut up."

A cold reply came back again.

However, the wolf continued to chatter on.

In fact, it said it would even lend a hand if that captain destroyed that detestable empire.

Especially if they kill that despicable emperor, it said it would gladly return her soul.

He continued to spew those nonsensical words.

The wolf, always cheerfully smiling, became especially fierce and noisier when talking about the emperor.

It was at that moment, with Siel covering her ears.

[If you blatantly ignore me, even I would feel hurt.]

With those words, Ian appeared before Siel.

No, that wasn't Ian.

That expression, that tone, that gesture.

Siel remembered it all.

She could tell that this was not Ian, but the wolf taking on Ian's appearance.

In that unpleasant situation,

Siel's face became colder than ever.

[How curious. I thought none of your succubus instincts remained. But seeing you cling like this, maybe that's not the case.]

A hybrid of a demon and an elf. The only one of its kind in the world, unpredictable, the wolf said, smiling again with Ian's face.

"Who are you to take on that form?"

Her words were filled with killing intent.

However, the wolf's reaction was calm.

[You are strangely obsessed with this person.]

As he said this, the wolf slowly approached Siel.

[In that case, why don't you just take him?]

"..."

[If you love him so much, you should own everything about him. With your power, it should be possible.]

"That is..."

The stoic child was showing signs of agitation.

A smile spread across the wolf's face.

Until now, he hadn't interfered.

He was too busy watching the situation unfold interestingly.

Also, meddling with this child would incur hostility from that captain.

A being whose true nature even he couldn't fathom.

He didn't want to turn such a being into an enemy.

It was more beneficial to cooperate and achieve mutual goals.

But...

'Well, a little amusement wouldn't hurt.'

This wasn't even a bad deed.

After all, humans are inherently beasts.

By shedding formalities and embracing their animalistic instincts, they could find happiness.

In a way, it could even be considered a gift.

So, the wolf smiled slyly, looking at Siel.

In her unstable state,

Just a little nudge would awaken her instincts.

What needed to be done was simple.

Just a slight push on her back.

*****

Siel walked down the mansion's hallway.

It was midnight.

Moonlight streamed in through the windows.

No one else was awake.

Only Siel walked leisurely towards her destination.

Her head was spinning.

She couldn't clearly remember what she had been doing until a moment ago.

She had simply opened her eyes to find herself wandering the halls.

However, she instinctively knew what she needed to do now.

Siel moved forward slowly. The headache hadn't subsided, but there was no way she could mistake where her beloved was.

-Creak.

Siel carefully opened the door.

The sight of a man sleeping peacefully met her eyes.

Ian was asleep, completely defenseless.

Siel climbed onto the bed as if in a trance.

'What am I doing?'

She couldn't understand.

She couldn't comprehend why she was doing this.

But, she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

She wanted to possess him.

She didn't want to yield him to anyone.

The other person's will didn't matter.

It didn't matter what means she had to use.

She just wanted to have everything about him.

She wanted him to look at her, only at her.

Those feelings surged within her.

At that moment, as Siel let her instincts take over and reached out to Ian.

Nothing particularly special happened.

Ian merely smiled faintly in his sleep, perhaps because her touch tickled him.

However, Siel stared blankly at that sight.

'If I go further...'

If she went just a bit further,

She could surely possess this man.

It's not a difficult task.

According to the wolf, while Ian's soul might be superior, Siel had the upper hand in strength.

She could subdue him.

She could command him to do anything.

She could make him hers.

But if she did that, would she ever see that smile again?

If she forced him to smile, he would surely do so. The result would be the same.

So, it seemed more rational and convenient to possess him.

It was far better to own him.

Yet, despite this...

'I hate it.'

She hated it.

It felt wrong.

She didn't want that.

There was no value in it.

'I want you to look at me.'

There was no meaning in forcing it.

The significance lay in him looking at her on his own.

Therefore,

She couldn't do this.

"..."

Her dizzy mind began to clear.

Her confused heart became clear again.

She looked at the man in front of her once more. The man sleeping peacefully, unaware of anything.

"Now I understand. I know why I was feeling these emotions."

The strange thoughts she had been having lately.

She thought she was broken.

She thought there was something wrong with her mind.

But the answer was very simple.

Ridiculously simple.

It seemed she was more greedy than she thought.

Just giving love like her mother wasn't enough for her.

So, after all...

"I think I want to be loved by you."

Chapter 47: Look at Me (3)

Warm sunlight filtered through the window.

My eyes opened naturally.

I should feel refreshed after a good night's sleep. Instead, I feel a strange sense of relief.

A sense of relief that I had unknowingly escaped a great danger, a feeling I couldn't understand.

'Did I have a weird dream last night?'

It felt like someone was tickling me in my dream.

It also felt like someone was staring at me intently.

But as dreams often do, the memory quickly faded upon waking. Now, I couldn't remember much at all.

Even the vague memories I had were slipping away.

Well, since I can't remember it, it must not have been important.

With that thought, I casually started making my bed.

Habits can be scary.

Once I started, I found myself tidying my bed every morning without fail.

Even though I had long since been discharged from the military, this habit remained.

I'll use it again when I sleep tonight anyway.

I can't understand why I bother making it.

Nevertheless, I neatly made my bed.

Perfectly arranged bedclothes.

Even the pillow was placed just right.

Lastly, I looked at Siel lying on my bed...

"...?"

For a moment, my mind went blank.

I rubbed my eyes in confusion.

Still the same.

Even after rubbing my eyes, I saw the same thing: Siel sleeping peacefully on my bed.

Pinching my cheek only brought pain.

So this was reality.

I felt a cold sweat running down my back.

Even without looking in the mirror, I knew my face must be as pale as a corpse.

'Did I do nothing wrong yesterday? I didn't drink or anything.'

I felt like I was going to lose my mind from the confusion.

However, I couldn't ignore this bizarre situation forever.

I gently poked Siel.

This unusual situation of her being on my bed.

For some reason, I couldn't touch her as casually as I normally would, so I poked her cheek with my finger as if touching something dangerous.

Her cheek felt soft.

As I poked her cheek, Siel stirred slightly.

She rubbed her eyes with her usual dazed expression and then got up.

"What happened yesterday?"

I urgently asked, but Siel's expression was as calm as ever.

"What?"

A completely unexpected response came.

I held my dizzy head and tried to continue the conversation calmly.

"Why were you sleeping in my bed all of a sudden?"

"Just because."

But the answer I got was even more baffling.

Just because? Just because what?

A reason for invading the bed of the opposite sex can't simply be 'just because.'

I was about to say something to this girl who lacked common sense... but then I stopped.

Because I knew what would come next in the conversation.

If I asked, 'Does that even make sense?'

Siel would respond, 'Is it not okay?'

If I then gave a sensible answer, 'Of course it's not okay.'

She would ask, 'Why isn't it okay?' with a very innocent look.

Explaining that in detail would itself be inappropriate, so I would awkwardly say, 'Well... because we're of different genders, it makes me a bit uncomfortable.'

Then Siel would innocently ask again, 'Do you care about me?'

...Ultimately, it was Siel who did the bizarre, perverted act of sneaking into my bed. But in the end, it would be me who ended up looking like a mad pervert.

We've been traveling together for quite some time now.

By now, I know how these things go. Most of the time, if I get bothered by this stuff, I lose.

Despite seeming like she's not good with words, Siel is surprisingly good at verbal sparring.

Whether it's taking my tea and sipping it, or patting me every time I sigh.

If I nitpick about each thing, I end up losing.

"Yeah... I see."

In the end, agreeing is the best response.

Rather than questioning what kind of mindset leads someone to climb into another's bed in the middle of the night,

It's more effective to empathize with her desire to be in my bed.

Thus, one commotion is settled. Siel and I stare blankly at each other.

...It's awkward.

Despite how much time we've spent together, it's awkward. It would be strange if it weren't.

After all, how could any man remain calm with a woman lying in his bed?

I pondered for a while on how to break the awkwardness... and then came up with a decent topic.

"So... are you feeling any better?"

It hadn't been long since she overexerted herself and got bedridden. She was still recovering as of yesterday, lying in bed to rest.

Siel thought for a moment and then nodded.

Seeing that made my heart ache.

Despite being so ill, she was so nonchalant. It seemed she had no sense of danger.

"If you're in pain, you should say so. Why didn't you say anything?"

The words came out of my mouth out of frustration and pity.

In the mining camps, she would let others take her food and bully her, just enduring it all. And even now, she was doing the same thing.

"Just because."

Once again, Siel gave a simple, vague answer.

It was an infuriating situation.

...But.

No more nagging came from my mouth. It was impossible for such words to come out.

Of course.

"Because you asked me to. I wanted to do anything for you."

How could I scold someone who says that?

"Still. Next time, if you feel like you're going to collapse, tell me beforehand."

In the end, all I could do was scratch my neck awkwardly and give such a half-hearted response.

But then, Siel stared at me blankly and threw another unexpected question.

"Are you worried about me?"

"Well... yeah."

No matter how embarrassing, I couldn't lie to someone who suffered because of me.

So I answered truthfully.

"I see."

Siel's expression looked somewhat peculiar.

...It was strange.

She probably just asked out of innocent curiosity since it's Siel.

But given the situation, it felt a bit off.

Like my chest was tingling or I couldn't meet her gaze.

'What on earth is going on?'

Naturally, such thoughts crossed my mind.

I felt like the protagonist in a teenage romantic comedy movie at this age.

Is it true that humans are ruled by hormones?

Or has the age of this possessed body influenced me to become this childish?

With these thoughts, I let out a deep sigh.

*****

Ian sighed deeply, holding his forehead as if he had a headache.

At times like this, there was only one thing she could do.

Siel got up from the bed and approached Ian. Then, as always, she patted Ian gently.

The feel of his hair was pleasant.

She liked his slightly embarrassed reaction too.

"Yeah... thanks."

Ian spoke as if he had come to some sort of realization.

Normally, this would have been the end of it.

But Siel moved closer to Ian.

Then, she leaned her face against his chest.

She could feel his heartbeat.

It felt different, like she was fully sensing the other person.

"...What are you doing?"

Ian asked.

But Siel wasn't flustered. She knew everything about this man. When Ian was pushed strongly at times like this, he usually didn't refuse.

"It's not fair. You're always the one who pats me."

As he said that, Siel looked into Ian's eyes.

Ian's face turned red.

Indeed, it was good she had stopped before.

Siel loved that kind of innocence about him.

Ian hesitated for a moment... but in the end, he stroked her head.

"Can you grant me one favor?"

After enjoying that pleasant sensation for a while, Siel opened her mouth again.

Ian seemed flustered by the sudden request, but Siel continued speaking without concern.

"You rewarded her for doing her best. I've done my best too. Much more than she did."

"Y-yeah, that's true. What's your request?"

What could she possibly ask for?

She knew exactly what she wanted to request.

She wanted this man to only look at her.

To care only about her and love only her.

But.

'That's not right.'

What she loved was this version of Ian.

Someone who had a pure side, who occasionally went off the rails.

He might not realize it, but he was the kindest person in the world.

So.

She shouldn't block his path.

He had a lot to accomplish.

He had dreams he wanted to achieve.

She loved watching him chase those dreams.

But.

If she could be a bit selfish.

"I'll tell you later."

Someday, when everything is over.

She hoped he would look at her.

She hoped he would love her.