I'm so tired. Tired of pretending. Pretending to be okay. Pretending to be happy. Pretending to be fine.

I'm not okay. I'm not happy. I'm not fine.
But I pretended it for you.
Because you're also not fine, not happy, not okay.
I'm trying to make you laugh, to make you happy, to make you feel better.
But it's not easy.

Everything that I ever wanted was you to be happy but it seems like an impossible goal.
You're broken. And I tried to get all the pieces back together but you didn't let me.

And this was the point where I wanted to give up. Where I thought that you don't need me. Where I thought that I can't help.
Sayin "it's okay... he doesn't want me to help him" to myself.
But this would be a mistake.
I made this mistake once and I won't do it again. I won't let you down.

I won't give up on you. I won't give up on us. I believe that you can be happy and I believe that I can make you happy.

So I'm still trying to be happy for you although it's not easy. You're worth it.

I don't want to loose you again.