Saturday

"Wake up, loser." A high pitched voice whisks in my ear, following a smack to the head with a soft cushion. Most likely a pillow. I groan and rollover. Shailene, you're gonna pay for this later.

"Alyson Patricia Dawson! It's almost twelve in the afternoon on a Saturday, and you never sleep in late. Are you dead?" My eyes fly open at this information. I've been out all morning! I never sleep this late. Usually, it's Shay who stays in bed till the late afternoon, and I have to wake her.

I sit up and rub my grey eyes. Light peeks through my tan curtains, and my bed is a jungle of black sheets. Shay sits on the edge of my bed with her fluffy hot pink bathrobe, and her hair is tossed around in a perfect mess.

Woah, is it really twelve? "I'm just as surprised as you are. Plus, you're actually home." I say in a sleepy voice. 

After the events of last night with Aiden, I texted Shay telling her that I was going to head home. Usually, she stayed out for a long time, and sometimes won't get back until late the next evening, so I wasn't worried. I don't remember much after that, just that I got home, crashed on my bed, and now here I am.

"Yeah well, After the whole bar scene, Landon made up for it pretty well." She smirks at the memory, and I stick my finger in my mouth, pretending to gag.

"Oh come on!" She smacks me with the pillow again, and I giggle.  "It wasn't like that at all, actually. He took me out for ice cream, and then home. Cute, huh?" She sighs.

"Well, that was nice, and unperverted of him." I'll give him some points for that one. Every girl's weakness is ice cream.

"Yeah, and it's also a bonus for how well he dealt with his whacko friend, Camden." She scrunches her nose.

"It's Aiden." I correct her. My heart leaps at the sound of his name.

"Okay, whatevs! He was crazy! I'm glad you booked it home, and made it out alive. I thought he was going to strangle you!" She scoots closer to be on the bed, then strokes my hair as you would do to a dog.

Strangle? More like attack me with a random act of lust.

Then again, was it really lust, maybe affection? I shake the thought. No, probably not.

Shay rambles on. "Anywho! Get dressed! At one-thirty we are heading out to The Fine Grind for coffee and brunch. We're meeting Landon there. He really wanted you to tag along too. I didn't even have to pull the "but what about my best friend" card! What a babe, right?"

Coffee? Landon? Ugh!

"Shay, do I have to go?" I whine. I honestly don't want any more memories of last night, and Landon is a part of that.

Too late for thinking that after the dream you just had!

I hate my thoughts sometimes.

"Yes you do, you're my wing-woman! Plus, I don't want to leave you here after what happened. Seriously, I want to make it up to you by paying for your lunch. Whatever you want, it's yours, girl." The care in her tone is evident, and I know she means what she says. Shailene has saved me time and again this past year, and I'll always owe her.

I sleepily grin. "Thanks, Shay."

She rapidly claps her hands in excitement. "Great! Now hurry, and get ready. Time's ticking."

It was a little over one-thirty when we draw near the coffee shop, thanks to Shay, and her indecisive mind. The whole way she bickered about how she should have put on the yellow dress because the pink one makes her look fat. I learned to ignore her when she self depreciates, so I only pretend I'm listening. Shailene looks good in anything she wears. Put her in a potato sack? Instantly a new trend! Overall, Shay isn't an ugly person, no matter what she has on. even when she rolls out of bed, she's a princess.  A princess with an attitude. 

Unlike her, I go for a more simple look; a navy blue V-neck and shorts, allowing my legs to enjoy the newly spring breeze. Shay always calls me a tomboy for always dressing in flannels, and jeans, but being comfy doesn't mean I dress like a guy. I don't even resemble a guy! Or I hope I don't, anyway.

Since we are fashionably late, Landon is already standing at the entrance waiting for us. I spot him leaning on the wall of the entrance to The Fine Grind. Shay must have seen him the same time as me, because she flattens her dress down, and fluffies her hair.

Typical Shailene.

Landon dislocates himself from the wall, and pull her into a hug. "Hi there, beautiful." He mumbles in her hair, and I hang back with my arms crossed awkwardly. As they pull away, Landon clears his throat.

"Alyson, yes?" I nod at the sound of my name.

"Nice to officially meet you." Landon formally says, and we shake hands. Nothing more screams uncomfortable than a forced handshake.

"Oh, I hope you guys don't mind, but I brought a friend too," Landon says, and right on cue, Aiden appears out of thin air. I could sense the disgust on Shay's face, and Landon twists his mouth into a smile. For me, I'm just in awe.

Aiden's hair is still a hot mess, and a black shirt is fitted on his upper body, making his pale skin stand out. Those pitch-black eyes never wavered away from my gaze, and his hands are clenched in a fist. In pure daylight, I realize what I was missing last night. Aiden is ten times more attractive than I gave him credit for. My breath is stuck in my chest.

"I thought we could all hang out. Aiden and I wanted to apologize for last night, so we're paying for your meals. Isn't that right?" Landon's tone hints at his friend and Aiden grunts.

"Yeah...." His deep voice mumbles and Shay just nods her head numbly.

"Well, okay. We should head inside now." Shay announces, and Landon takes her by the arm. I follow after them. I hug my arms tightly as a wave of insecurity drowns me. I can sense Aiden's eyes glaring straight at me, and try not to let it show that I'm completely phased by this.

The warm cafe is relaxing and smells strongly of pastries. Aromas of spices, to creamer in a coffee wave around the tiny yet quaint area. This is one of the better cafes in New Jersey, no doubt.

I meet with the two lovers inside, who have already picked a booth. Landon motions me to sit in the next available seat near them.

"I'm sure you two would want your own booth together. Shay and I will be fine, don't worry." He winks at me. That wink alone can imply many different things, but I'm sure it's just because he wants some alone time with Shay.

Sticking my thumbnail in my mouth, I slide into the booth right next to theirs, and let the calm scent of fresh bread and vanilla creamer distract me. The menu is leaning on the wall next to the spices on the table, but my hands stay frozen where they are. I'm too uneasy to move.

Aiden comes my way not too long after I take my seat, and slouches across from me. Hands spread on the wooden counter, he tilts back to study me. I feel like I'm being examined, and heat rushes into my cheeks.

Noticing my finger still stuck in my mouth, I take it out and breathe slowly. Why am I so nervous? I'm never this anxious! What do I say to end this awkward silence?

"Are you afraid of me?" His voice is raspy like he's coming down with a cold, or maybe holding back rage. I match my eyes with him; stern and fierce. I won't let him think that he's something I'm afraid of. He isn't as bad as he wants to be. With all these accusations he throws at me, it's clear he's misunderstood and judged harshly, which only makes me sympathize with him more. 

"No, I'm not. The exact opposite, actually." It's weird for me to admit everything to him, but my words seem to have a mind of their own. I don't feel the need to lie to him. What good would that do for the both of us?

"I don't understand you. Why are you like this? Why can't you see," His voice strains, and eyes close. Aiden's fists clench, and a long sigh escapes him.

"See that I'm really a monster." It sounded more like a statement than a question, but I'm still not buying it.

"And if I said I didn't think you were a monster, what would you do?" I ask, a little too nervous to hear his answer.

"I'd think you're crazy." He pauses, "then want to keep you all to myself."

Without giving me enough time to come up with an answer, our waiter comes to take our order.

"Hello, my name is Martha, and I'll be your server this afternoon. Can I get you lovely couple something to drink?" She asks, and I clench my jaw in concern.

Couple? What would make her think we are together, and what if this accidental misunderstanding sets Aiden off? I don't want a repeat of last night.

I open my mouth to tell her we aren't together, but Aiden beats me to it. "Yes, ma'am. My girlfriend and I would like lemonade, please." 

Nodding her head, she jots down the order. "Okay, you two! I'll be back with those drinks, and be ready to take your food orders. Back in a sec!" Martha bounces away. I gape at Aiden, and in response, he gives me a mischievous grin. He knows what he just said, and he finds it comical.

Definitely different from the way he acted last night. He's tame, more controlled. Still edgy and tense, but not as jumpy or inraged. I smooth my hands on my jeans.

"Well, okay then." I manage to say right as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take a peek at the text to see that it's from Shay.

Shay: DID I JUST HEAR AIDEN CALL YOU HIS GF?! THIS GUY IS CRAY CRAY!

I softly giggle in response, hoping she can hear me from behind. I'm just as shocked as she is. SO when he's not angry, he's a joker?

I stuff my phone in my jean pocket and look up to meet eyes with Aiden. They aren't stern or tense anymore, but rather playful and silly. His eyes are a lighter shade of black, reflecting me like a mirror. Hands flat on the table now, I fold mine in front of me, nerves starting to kick back in again.

"I do want to apologize for yesterday night. I was going rogue and didn't want to take my medicine. " A smile shapes his face. "Mixing alcohol into the equation doesn't help much either. I'm more in control today, but I'm still sorry for everything that happened last night."  

Doing the unexpected, I wrap my hands around his, yearning for his touch. "I understand, and I'm sorry it's like that for you. Don't worry about it, you've already been forgiven." His touch is like a buzz of electricity under my fingertips.

My attention falls on his lips, and I really wish I wasn't so focused on that. It's not polite or respectful, and something Shailene would do to her little suspects. I don't want to be like her, I refuse.

Aiden moves his gaze from me, then to our hands, and the waitress comes back with our drinks.

How ironic!

"Awe!" She squeaks at the sight of us holding hands and places our lemonade on the table.

"Here you guys go. Can I get your orders?" Finally realizing that I haven't even looked at the food options yet, Aiden stretches his hand to the end of the table for the menu and searches through it.

"How about we have blueberry muffins? I know how much you love them, sweetie."  Aiden's tone was beyond playful, and nowhere near realistic, but the words still brought a blush to my cheeks. He then winks to top it all off, teasing me. I gape at him. 

What I really can't believe is that the waitress is buying this cheesy nonsense. But then again, we were just holding hands.

He's like a new person from last night.

"That sounds wonderful, actually." I agree with him, and he hands the menu over to Martha, eyes not leaving mine.

"It's settled then. Muffins for the happy couple." Martha beams at us and walks away to gather our order.

After the waiter leaves, I notice I hear no noise coming from behind me, where  Landon and Shay are seated. I don't hear any chit-chat or any sign that they are even there. I guess they don't seem to be having as good of a time as we are. Unless they are making out, then maybe they are.

Aiden bends into the table to prop his head on his hand, and a hint of excitement plays in his eyes. I match his gaze and he nods his head at me.

"Do you always bite your lip when you're holding back something?" Aiden's inspecting skills are quite impressive, or maybe I'm really just easy to read. 

"I guess it's a habit," I explain, but he just sighs, and wags his head like he knows something I don't.

"Alright, that's it!" I hear a high pitched voice behind me say. "Alyson and I are leaving. You're pathetic." Shay marches over to me and drags me out of the booth.

I'm muddled at this all of a sudden change in Shay.

"Shailene, no, please. Don't go." Landon is up now too and begs for Shay to reconsider leaving. What did I miss? The few people gathered around the cafe glance our way in sheer confusion, and I can relate. I'm just as confused as they are.

"No, Landon. You first tell me you are single, which I now know is a lie. You try to make me your makeout buddy when I really have feelings for you and to top it all off, you always bring your psychotic, edgy friend everywhere you go! He's insanely creepy and has some obsession over my best friend! I'm done!" Shay spits, and storms out the place, taking me with her. My offensiveness towards her instant conclusion about Aiden stings me more than it should.

I don't want to leave!

We get outside and I wiggle my hand out of her grasp. Landon's voice is in the background still attempting to work his charm on Shay, but she ignores him and gives me a death stare.

"Shay, I don't want to leave." Ever.

She stomps her foot like a child. "Ace, can we just please go home? I'm sick of this petty child."

Look in a mirror, friend.

"You can, I'll meet you over there later," I say firmly. With that, she grunts and walks away, Landon following her like a lost puppy.

I turn to head back in the direction of the cafe when I see Aiden pacing the other direction, head down. He must feel hurt because of what Shay said about him.

Is he really deserting me?

I jog after him. "Aiden, please wait," I call out, but he doesn't turn. When I get closer to him, I tug on his hand, forcing him to meet my face. That same cold expression I remember from last night now plagues his face again, and I can't seem to feel anything but sorrow. He needs to know that I didn't want to walk away from him, that this wasn't some plan or scheme. 

"Please, don't go. I didn't want to leave you, but Shay was dragging me, unwillingly. We can go back inside now." I stutter, but he pushes my touch away.

"Forget it. I already paid the lady and told her we aren't coming back for the muffins. Take a hike, I don't want to see your face." Aiden's words cut deep into my skin, but they made me angry more than anything.

"No, You don't get to call the shots whenever you feel like it. I want to be with you, so don't push me away!" I protest.

His suddenly bitter expression alters into a deep grin.

"What's your address?"

"Umm, 116 Magnolia Street. Why? "I say, blindly.

"Pick you up at eight, and don't take forever to get ready. That annoys me." And he turns away from me. All I can do is watch him disappear. It's not until he becomes a speck to my eyes that I finally decide to walk away slowly.

Did I just get asked out on a date?

***

Ever since I got home, Shay has been hiding in her room like a baby. Every time I try to talk to her she shoos me away. So to pass the time, I tried to paint something, or more like someone. Stroking the brush to mimic the wave of Aiden's hair. Lightly dabbing black into those priceless orbs. It was difficult to fully capture his beauty.

I didn't know exactly what to wear, or where we were going to go, so when the clock stroke 7:30, that's when I decided to get ready. An elegant blue blouse with black dress pants and ballet flats are the only nice clothes I own, but I'm sure this will be fine.

Around 7:57 a loud knock echoes the apartment, and I'm seriously surprised by it. I thought he'd actually bail or forget, my hopes of him showing up were little to none, but that must be him now, right? I eagerly head towards the door and take in an exaggerated breath before I open the door. Aiden stands on the other side, head down, and body shaking.

"Hey." I'm uneasy and antsy, and he looks up at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, uhhh yeah hi." His response matches mine; uneasiness.

I clear my throat. "Should I bring anything with me?"

Aiden shakes his head. "No, just bring yourself." Though I'm sure he wasn't trying to flirt with me, I blush at his comment anyway.

I step out of the apartment and double-check to make sure I have my wallet and the door is locked, then tuck the key in my pocket. When I turn to face Aiden, he is staring straight at me in a way I've never seen before. It was charming but also quite worrying. 

"Are you okay?" I ask bluntly. 

He nods slowly. "Yeah, I just didn't expect you to get all dressed up for me. You look beautiful."

I look down at the ground in embarrassment. I wasn't really that dressed up, but he thinks I look pretty anyway, and that means the world to me.

"Well, th-thank you." I stutter. Really? Thank you? That's it?

We walk out of my apartment complex and into the setting sun. I let Aiden lead. Hands settle in his pockets, and his eyes don't drift away from me, but I notice his walk is a little wobbly.

"Aiden, you look a little off-balance. Do you need to sit down for a moment?" I hope this observation doesn't set him off, but I'm genuinely worried about him. 

His eyebrows crease. "N-no. I just took a little too much medicine. It makes me a little foggy, but very calm. I feel fine, I promise." I nod in understanding as we head into an unknown area. From the looks of the fading city, I could only assume we'd be heading towards the park on the outskirts of the busy lights and obnoxious car horns. 

"I just didn't want to ruin the night with my crazy outbursts. I want tonight to be special."

My mouth folds into a thin line. He wants this to be special, for me?

"That's very thoughtful of you, but I don't want you to overdo whatever doses you need. That's not very healthy." I admit.

Aiden abruptly crosses the road, and I follow behind. "Out of all the things you know about me so far, that's the only thing you're worried about." He says after we cross the street, and step onto the grass.

My laugh comes out shaky. "Well, yeah. It involves you not feeling well."

We now walk up a small hill, as the stars start to sprinkle the sky. Aiden gets to the top and drops himself on the crisp grass, arms slung around his head. I follow his lead, but in a more graceful manner. He lays down on his back, while I have my legs folded under me.

Good thing I don't like to dress up fancy. If Shay was taking my place she'd be outraged by sitting on the grass.

"There aren't many times when I'm sane like this, so I want to take the opportunity to let you know who I am, and what I feel. You deserve that much."

Aiden blinks up at the sky, and I wrap my thoughts around what he said.

"I don't have much to offer. Maybe even nothing. But when I saw you at the club last night, all these emotions came together. Again, I was drinking beforehand, so that didn't help, but the emotions I felt for you weren't bad ones. " He moves his head to face me.

"Alyson, I suffer from severe bipolar disorder. It controls my life more than I control it, and that's what makes me say and do absurd things. Not an excuse for what I do, just the reality of it."

The mood swings and patterns come into place. Aiden suffers from the extreme disorder. He must feel so alone through it all. 

"I don't know what love is, but I do know that I like it when I'm with you and I want to be with you. I hope that means something to you. I know I'm not healthy, desirable, or even right in the head. I'm the exact opposite of all that. But just know that I would never even dream of being with anyone else, but you."

My eyes start to water, a mixture of emotions, and his honesty leave me breathless. He has feelings for me, the same feeling that I have for him.

"I know I just met you," I say softly. "But I feel connected to you, in some way. Call me crazy all you want."

One of his hands slides out from under his head and barely touches my lower leg. It was a small gesture, but enough to make my heart skip a beat.

"We both know I'm the crazy one here." He mutters, and I sigh. Aiden thinks so negatively about himself.

"Let me ask you something," I let my words unravel on my tongue before being processed in my brain. "What if I was to say I have the same feelings for you. Would you push me away?"

Without warning, Aiden sits upright, our faces only a few inches apart. "If it was anyone else on the planet, maybe. But I think I know no matter how hard I tried, I could never pull myself away from you. I'm selfish."

I look up at the stars now and weigh all my options. There is a lot I still want to do in my life and dreams that I want to come true but never has it crossed my mind that I might not be alone in all this. Sure, I have Shay who's the only person in my life that I can truly talk to, but to have someone else, a lover, has never been a reality for me.

"I guess, that makes two of us." I finally say, and lay back into the grass. The stars have reached their full potential. Spreading their light down to us in a beautiful creation.  A perfect place for a date, that much is certain.

Aiden lays down, inches from me, and I feel his gaze rest on me.

"Alyson." He says in a questioning tone.

"Yeah?" My eyes find his sweet face, and I can't stop my smile from creasing my face.

"Can I hold your hand?" 

I don't answer back with words. I take his hand in mine, and he relaxes. Warmth seeps throughout my body, as his thumb rubs the top of my hand.

We don't talk for a long while, we don't need to, but every minute or so I send reassuring squeezes. Hoping that he knows this doesn't just mean he has my hand, but that he may hold my heart too.

Big thanks for all my supports so far!