Hypocrite (noun)

\hipp-uh-krit\

A person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

Perhaps she was never once a part of them. Perhaps she did not contribute enough to the team. Perhaps she wasn't strong enough. Perhaps that's why it's okay for all her teammates to leave her behind. Even the man who preaches about not leaving teammates behind— Hatake Kakashi himself, abandon her in the end. He was a fucking hypocrite but also a coward. That man didn't even have the nerve to say it to her face himself. It was only through their Hokage did Sakura only found out about the disbandment of Team 7.

Had she meant so little to them? Had she meant so little to him?

Truthfully, Sakura at first didn't want to be the Hokage's apprentice. It had never crossed her mind. She knows her choices were limited but with both of her teammates gone off travelling the shinobi world, Sakura was hoping that the other remaining member of their team—their sensei would be willing to take her under his wing. Iruka-sensei had once told her she was a natural at genjutsu so she was determined to explore her options, and what better way to do that than with someone who has the Sharingan?

Sakura should have known to not put all her eggs in her basket. Because then, she wouldn't have been so disappointed when the disbandment news reaches her ears. She wouldn't have cried for a week straight— missing out on her meals and even barely could pull herself to take showers. She wouldn't have stared at her team photo wondering where did it all go wrong. She wouldn't have wondered if it was all her fault. She wouldn't have thought of quitting.

Because what was she supposed to do then? She clearly knows what her teammates think of her. And Team 7 was no more. That realisation had hit her like the cold blizzard that storms itself in. Sakura had never liked winter. It was way too cold for her regardless of how many layers she wore, she was always more prone to catching colds, and it was always a chore to shovel the snow out of her porch. So Sakura locks herself inside her house and guards her heart close to save as much energy as possible to warm herself up.

But like spring that appears after winter, Sakura finds one Yamanaka Ino on her doorsteps. The presence of Ino tremendously improved Sakura's moods. Ino reminded her that it was okay to wilt once in a while as long as Sakura reblooms again. Ino brought the rays of sunshine with her and Sakura couldn't help herself but rebloom. With Ino, Sakura feels included. Even within Team 10's training or dinner, or with the rest of Konoha 11, Ino knows how to move a conversation and include Sakura in it. With Ino, Sakura doesn't feel like a stranger in Konoha. With Ino, Sakura finds love for herself. And it was then, Sakura finds her sense of purpose again. Sure, maybe now her teammates don't acknowledge her—as a person, as a shinobi, but she'll brute force them to do so if she has to.

If Yamanaka Ino was like spring to Sakura, Senju Tsunade was like summer. The ray of sunshine keeps the flowers in bloom but sometimes the excess heat will get to you. It keeps her on her toes. Sakura doesn't mind the excess heat though. Because with Senju Tsunade, Sakura feels respected. Sakura feels acknowledge as a person even though she is still ways below her Hokage's level. With Senju Tsunade, Sakura learns how to flourish to her truest potential. It is with Senju Tsunade did Sakura actually explore and learn her interests and skills. It is with Senju Tsunade did Sakura learn for every time she pummels someone, she will have to learn how to mend them back to the optimal function.

Three years went by fairly quickly. Three years of not seeing Naruto and Sasuke. Three years of not seeing her sensei. Three years of cold winter. Sakura doesn't know if it's okay to feel upset and hurt that Kakashi had not reached out to her for these three years. Not once, did he reached out to her, asked her how she was doing or offered a spar. None. Not even a congratulations when she was promoted to a chunin—and she knows he knows of this news because Gai had excitedly announced 'My eternal rival would be so proud. No worries blossom, I'll be sure to pass on this great news!'

But the congratulations still didn't come. So would he be proud? Sakura couldn't say.

It was ironically when Naruto return only did she find herself coming in contact with Kakashi. This time, it was in a 2 vs 1 bell test. Even then, their first contact after three years was a Hokage's order. Sakura hid the bitterness and disappointment she felt. So when it was time to show off what they have learned, needless to say, Sakura pummels the ground as hard as she could— fueled with all of the frustration she has collected all those years. When it was all over, Sakura and Naruto both hold a bell each. They won and the training ground was put on repair work for two weeks.

Sakura finds that his cowardness was something that didn't change throughout the years. He still doesn't dare to talk to her one on one. Not like with Naruto who he seems to have no problem conversing smoothly. He only talks with her when Naruto is there and even then, his smile did not particularly reach his eyes, and anyone could tell there was some tension between them. Well, anyone except Uzumaki Naruto.

The tension doesn't fully disappear and it is still rather strained and awkward between them, but Senju Tsunade had enough of it. Senju Tsunade reminds Sakura once more that summer out of all seasons have more risk of causing a sunburn if you are not careful. Senju Tsunade, The Fifth Hokage shoves them both into the room and had banned them from leaving until they talked things through— whatever that means.

Awkwardly, Sakura shifts her body from one foot to another and crosses her arms. Kakashi is no better. She could see the perspiration that starts to appear on his forehead.

He clears his throat. "Sakura. It's been a long time."

Sakura huffs but replies "It has."

"How have you been doing?"

This time, she lets out a bitter laugh. "Really? That's all you could say after all these years?"

Kakashi frown.

"I didn't mean to abandon you."

It irked her that he knew what was bothering her. But she didn't let it show. "No, you probably didn't but you didn't care for me either." she spat and it was like acid, waiting to burn him "You didn't care what happen to little Haruno Sakura at all. All you cared about was Naruto and Sasuke."

"Sakura, that's not true." He tries to protest but Sakura shakes her head in disagreement.

"You've never once reached out to me, sensei. You never congratulate me on my promotion or just talk to me. You were not there. You didn't even ask me if I wanted you to train me. You are a coward, Hatake Kakashi!" She was on a roll now, all of her hatred, disappointment, anger was being channelled through her words.

"You could not even tell me to my face about our disbandment and I had to find out about it from Tsunade-sama. But worst of all, you are also a hypocrite. You tell us if we abandon our teammates then we're worst than trash but does this not apply to you, sensei? Am I not your teammate too?" Her eyes plead him for an answer. An answer that she had been withhold from years.

"I didn't know you wanted me to train you..." Kakashi trails off unsurely and Sakura sighs out of frustration.

"Of course I wanted you to train me, sensei. You were my squad captain. You are Sharingan-No-Kakashi, Copycat ninja, who was rumoured to know over a thousand jutsus. Why wouldn't I want you to train me?"

Kakashi's eye widens as that realisation hits him. He was all she had left of Team 7 but even then, he abandoned her. He was worst than trash. Again.

"I'm sorry, Sakura." He blurts out. He had never expected her to feel this way about his departure. "I never meant to hurt you like this. I thought I had failed as a teacher to Team 7 and I thought you would hate me for letting your teammates leave just like that. So when Tsunade had asked me what I want to do next, I chose to be reinstated." He confesses as he runs his fingers through his gravity-defying hair.

Kakashi then looks down, refusing to meet her eyes. "From my view, you also never contacted me these three years which further convince me that you actually hated me. So I distanced myself away."

Sakura's eyes widen. Despite being bitter that Kakashi had never made an effort to reach out to her, she too had not made an effort to reach out to him all these years. She was afraid he would have rejected her, again. Sakura inwardly laughs bitterly. Perhaps they were all hypocrite then.

"But Sakura, I was so damn proud of you when you became chunin. When Gai told me, I even drag him to a bar to celebrate." He lets out a weak chuckle to which she didn't join in.

Silence accompanies the pair once more.

"But look at us now," Kakashi lets out a bitter laugh, "I really manage to make you hate me, huh?"

At this point, Sakura already feels drained. She was tired. Tired of being angry, tired of being disappointed, tired of being weak and tired of being cold in the winter. She can't say she had forgiven him immediately because the hurt was still fresh, but Sakura miss this man so damn much. She had craved for his attention all these years but turns out it was all some sort of misunderstanding?

"I don't hate you, sensei..." She pause, frowning as she thinks on how she should elaborate. Their situation was messy, complicated and chaotic just like how their team had been a wild combination.

Sakura sighs, "What Sasuke and Naruto choose to do is not your fault. They choose to leave Konoha. They choose to leave us. So please stop blaming yourself for this."

Kakashi turns to her, there's hope in his eyes.

But Sakura doesn't stop there yet.

"But, just like them, you've also chosen to leave me. For that, I cannot forgive you now." She tells him this and she could see his frown deepens, so she continues,

"But, I am willing to start again."

If anyone asks Kakashi, his eyes totally did not glisten and he was not on the verge of crying.

He lets out a wobbly smile, "I'd like that."

Spring comes again melting away the cold snow and flowers rebloom once more. She may have not liked winter but Sakura thinks in the future, she might not be as cold anymore. Because she still has Ino, Tsunade, her two idiotic teammates and the rest of Konoha 11 to warm her up.

- End -
So I have always wanted to write about Sakura's feelings when it comes to being left behind by her teammates. And when this idea came to me at 3 am yesterday, I immediately get to work. I think Sasuke's and Naruto's departure while it did make a huge impact on her, it wouldn't have affect her as much as Kakashi who had left her. I'd think that Kakashi's absence would just really drives the point home. 

Like he would be the last person who she expect to abandoned her but yet, he's a hypocrite and his words only count towards his favourite students.

Maybe it doesn't make sense to you why Sakura was feeling that way when she wasn't motivated in the first place to be a proper ninja, but consider that this piece was purposely written in Sakura's POV. It doesn't have to necessarily mean it's correct, but it's just how she feels and thinks.

I think Kakashi definitely could have train her during that time skip. Had he been committed, I think he and Tsunade would have really make Sakura into an astounding shinobi. Just imagine how badass Sakura would have become if she had both teachers teaching her full time :0

I hope you enjoy this piece, thank you for reading!