Raphael dropped both Gabriel and I off at school. Gabe practically had to pull me out of the car because I refused to do so, plus I was hanging onto the car for dear life. Crying, "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go!" Then, Gabriel had to drag me across the street because I refused to walk. I kept crying and calling out for Raph, saying that I don't want to go, and I want to stay with him. He did nothing but chuckle, wave good-bye, and drove off.

Gabriel got tired of dragging and swung me over his shoulder. I  kicked and cried. "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! I wanna go home! I want Raph!!" I yelled as tears fell down my face.

"You're such a crybaby! Stop being so annoying!" Gabriel spoke through his teeth. He was so embarrassed and irritated. "People are watching Cas !"

I didn't care. I didn't want to be there.

Once we got into the school, he set me down hard, making me wobble. I was still crying, stammering, and wiping my tears. He put one hand on his waist and leaned toward me.

"Look here you little shit," He started. "I didn't not build up a good reputation these last two years just so you can be that crying, pathetic little brother to come along and ruin everything! You are you and I am me. That's it." He pointed out boldly.

"B-But Gabriel... Raph said to look out for each other...!" I coughed.

"I don't give a flying fuck what Raph says or thinks! You're invisible to me here twerp." Gabriel spat back. "Now go inside the main office there to get your schedule." He pointed.

"Aren't y-you gonna come w-with me...?" I asked, sniffling. He sighed frustrated.

"You're not five Castiel! Do it yourself!"

"B-But I don't wanna go a-alone!" I began to cry out loud again. Gabriel looked around to see if anyone was staring.

"Shut up!" He whispered. "Go now, or I'll take away your trenchcoat!"

I gasped. "NO!" I yelled, held onto my coat, and quickly ran toward the office. I could hear Gabriel's cruel laugh behind me. I loved my trenchcoat. I was long and it covered more than half of my legs. The arm sleeves were long too; it dangled seven inches off my hands. I felt safe in that coat. Raph said Dad bought it for me after my--incident. He said it will help me calm down. And it has. I feel so much better when I have it on. I feel impenetrable. Especially towards.... water.

I walk into the office and just stand there. I was to shy to ask for anyone's help. I didn't know how to talk with people. Until I heard someone say," Do you need anything sweetie?" I looked up to an old lady with glasses and white hair. Her dress was purple and flowered, and she typed while staring at me.

"I- Uhh... uhm... i..." I was so socially awkward. I would get nervous around anybody. Once in middle school, in my English class, my teacher made me stand in front of the room to read my essay out verbally. When he told me to start, I literally fainted.

"Do you need your schedule dear?" She answered for me. I nodded quickly. She smiled. "Right through that door hon."  She lifted her arm and pointed to the door next to me.

"Thank you..." I silently said and turned to the door. I couldn't resist but knock the same rhythmic knock I always do. After a moment, I hear, "Come in!"

Slowly, I open the door and peek my head inside. I was greeted to another friendly face. She smiled brightly as her curls rested on her shoulder. Her lipstick was bright pink, and her skin was almost like porcelain.

"Hello there. Do you need your schedule?" She asked sweetly. I nodded, scared of all the new faces to say anything. "Alrighty. Name?"

"C-Castiel James Novak." I gave her my full name.

Why did I do that?

She typed it out on her keyboard and waited. After a minute, she smiled once more. "Here you are!" She exclaimed. Then her expression changed. She stared oddly at the screen. "It says here you don't have a class for Physical Education?"

"N-No ma'am... I d-didn't want one..." I replied ever so softly. She thinned her lips.

"Honey, in order to graduate, you need at least one credit in Physical Ed." She informed. "I suggest to take care if it our Freshman year so out don't have to be doing it in the later years."

"O-Okay... What can I do?"

"Well," She looked at me strangely, like if I didn't know what sports were. "There is football, baseball, basketball, soccer, uh, track..." She listed.

"I w-would like something were I don't get hurt... Please." I added. Sports aren't exactly my forte. I couldn't even throw a ball right at Raph, even if it was a God given gift. She took a moment I think.

"Oh!" She finally popped up. "How about the swim team? I'm sure you can't get hurt there!"

There. There it is again.

My legs gave out. My arms started to go limp. As soon as she said that word: swim. I could feel the water around me, entering my throat.

But I was still in the office.

I fell to the wall for support. Flashbacks started to surround me. I was in water. I started to shake, as I fell to the ground. All I could hear was "Castiel!" And the blurred movement of her jumping up to catch me. I was gasping for air as if I was in water. I stretched out my arms, as if I was fighting back the forced of it.

"Castiel! Are you alright!" I heard her say. I started to cry. My tears ran faster than they ever have. I managed to scream.

"Raph! Raph!" Was the first thing to come out of me. "Gabriel!" Was the next. I was repeating the same words I said that day. The day I was at the lake.

"Castiel who are those people!?" She continued to ask me, her voice breaking up. I actually faced her. My body trembling. My mind starting to realize I wasn't in water, but in her office.

"D-Don't make me go... Please, don't m-make in go in there..." I whimpered.

"Go in what Castiel...?" She sounded a bit more relieved I answered her.

"The water...." I replied, bursting into more tears than I already was.

"I'm sorry Castiel..." Her tone sounded so guilty. "I didn't know out had such a severe case of Hydrophobia..."

I covered my face.

"What if I sign you up, but I tell the coach you're manager? You won't ever touch water. I promise. You'll  only help the coach with whatever he needs."

"M-manager...?" I repeated, rubbing my eyes.

"Yes. Is that okay with you?"

I nodded.

What did I sign myself up for?

"Okay." she returned to her desk and continued to type. Seconds later, the printer next to her spit out a sheet of paper. She grabbed it, wrote on it, and handed it to me. "Here you are. Good luck."

I grabbed it, thanked her, and quickly left the office. But instead of going to my first class, I ran straight into the nearest bathroom. Into the first stall. I set the toilet seat down and sat there. Crying. Again. I pulled my feet up to the seat so that I could wrap my arms around my legs and bury my face into my knees; not caring about my glasses.

I cried.

I cried for a long time.

I felt so embarrassed.

Ashamed.

Useless.

I couldn't stop thinking that Gabriel was right about me. How I'm just completely pathetic and weak. I was so scared. My body shivered in the warm room. I held my coat tighter, trying to feel the same safety I felt from it all of the previous years I had a trauma attack.

That was the problem.

I didn't.