● ● ● ● ●

THREE; TOXIC IN MY LIFE

"I DON'T KNOW if you've heard, but Sam and Leah broke up yesterday."

Hyacinth paused midway in between unpacking her final box and humming her favorite song, glancing back at her mother, who was absentmindedly turning the pages of her magazine. It seemed that her words didn't affect her very much, but Hyacinth didn't know what to think. After all, she was the person who told Sam to get his life back together, but she didn't know that meant breaking up with Leah.

She acted calm about the situation. "Really? Do you know why?"

Her mother shrugged, not really caring about the subject at hand. "People are saying he told her there was someone else. She's heartbroken — hasn't left her room since."

Hyacinth took a deep breath. She tried not to jump to conclusions, but she knew the ultimate truth. Sam had broken up with Leah because of her, and she doesn't have a damn clue as to why he would do something so reckless over a girl he barely knows anymore.

"You think we should send something over?" Her mother asked, eyes peering over her magazine in question. "Would Leah want food?"

"I doubt it, mom. Whatever food she needs, I'm sure Sue can cook it for her."

"Well, H, you never know. A lot of support can go a long way," her mother advised wisely.

Hyacinth released a breathy chuckle and nodded vigorously. "You know what? I think I'm going to go out for a while. I'll be back soon, okay?" Her mother offered her words to keep safe and waves her off. Hyacinth can clearly tell she is thrilled that her daughter is finally getting out of the house to explore the town she once loved.

Hyacinth found herself at the house where she once felt so comfortable just walking into without any announcement of her entrance. She knocked on the door, gathering the words she was about to spew.

"Hyacinth."

Sam's adoring eyes were staring back into her cold gaze. He didn't even notice her stiffened posture or the way her lips pursed. He was trying to comprehend that she was standing just a foot away from him.

"I need to talk to you," her response was curt and tense.

He nodded at her distant statement, letting her step inside the house. Everything in the home looked exactly like Hyacinth remembers, but she tried to brush by that fact.

"When I told you to sort things out with Leah yesterday, I didn't mean for you to break up with her."

Sam was unsure of what to say. Breaking up with Leah was one of the hardest things he's ever done, and it made his heart clench when he saw Leah's tear-filled gaze, questioning him why he would do such a thing to her. Sam despised himself when he returned home that day, but remembered that he was now bound to Hyacinth.

As much as he loved Leah before, he couldn't deter his undying devotion to Hyacinth now.

Sam searched for a response. "You found out," he exhaled.

It was such an idiotic comment — of course she would've known. The whole town practically knew of Leah's heartbreak, and Sam guessed that the real story was becoming more twisted as it moved from person to person.

"Yeah, I did. Sam, why would you ever think of doing such a thing? Leah's the girl you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with," she sighed. She sounded completely frustrated by Sam's spur of the moment decision. "God, I bet people are already whispering. They know we used to be so close, and it's not a coincidence that you decide to break up with Leah once I move back into town."

He frowned. "Why do you care what other people think?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't. I actually care about Leah's feelings like a normal human being. Sue and Harry are two of my favorite people around here, and they probably think less of me now."

The room grew silent except for Hyacinth's heavy breathing. She was stressed, and Sam inwardly punched himself for being the cause.

"I didn't mean to make you so angry, Hyacinth. You told me to sort out my relationships, and Leah was the beginning. We've been distant and growing apart for a very long time. I just needed to gather the courage to finally let her go. She doesn't deserve to be with a man who can't reciprocate her feelings anymore," he confessed.

They stared at one another for a brief moment before someone's footsteps was rounding the corner. "Sam, who are you talking to?"

Alison Uley appeared in all of her former glory. The woman was just as beautiful as Hyacinth remembered her to be. However, there was no longer a painted grin upon her lips, but a faint frown.

"Hyacinth? Hyacinth Embers, is that you?"

Hyacinth paused at the sudden attention. She ignored the previous conversation with Sam and smiled at his mother. "Hi, Mrs. Uley."

Alison strode over, enveloping Hyacinth's frame into her arms. She pulled back to gaze at her. "Why, look at you! All grown up now, I can't believe it. I've been planning to swing by and see your mother, but I just haven't had the time. How is she?"

"Wonderful," Hyacinth responded. "She's been meaning to come by as well."

"How about dinner tomorrow night then? A welcome back for the both of you," Alison offered.

Hyacinth hesitated. She can see Sam's peak of interest at his mother's suggestion from the corner of her eye. She didn't want to keep leading Sam onto this false sense of hope that they would be friends in the nearby future. She didn't want Sue and Harry to despise her because she had been the cause of their daughter's heartbreak. However, she knew her mother needed Alison back in her life. Alison was one of her best friends — a person she could tell everything to.

"That sounds lovely," she tentatively agreed.

She ignored Sam's sunshine grin.

● ● ● ● ●

A knock on her front door disturbed Hyacinth's impending progression to finally rest.

She grumbled lowly to herself because she knew her mother was already tucked away in bed after the night's events.

Once Hyacinth revealed Alison's offer for dinner, her mother was over the moon. She was ecstatic when they arrived on the Uley's doorstep that night. Alison welcomed them with open arms, as per usual, and Hyacinth's mother marveled at Sam's height. Sam was slightly embarrassed by the attention, but it was quickly diminished when his eyes locked with his soulmate's.

Hyacinth felt like she was burning under his heated stare. She tried to avoid being alone with him for the duration of the night, often sticking to her mother's side as her and Alison spoke about the old times they experienced together. Sam couldn't take his eyes off of Hyacinth, albeit the cold shoulder he was receiving.

He still didn't quite understand her reasoning for not wishing to become friends with him again. He knew Sue and Harry meant a lot to her, but he also knew that they wouldn't care. Harry actually encouraged Sam to pine after Hyacinth, understanding how strong the imprint really was.

As the night dwindled down and all the plates were being washed, Sam finally caught Hyacinth without her mother. She was just exiting the bathroom when she almost ran into his chest.

"Why are you so cruel to me, H?"

She winced. The words were hard to hear, and he knew exactly how harsh he was being. If he couldn't come across to her with words of kindness, he needed to express how he was really feeling.

"I don't know why you're so persistent in us becoming friends again, Sam. The last time we actually communicated with one another is when I used to wear frilly dresses and comment about how the sunshine was so warm that day. I'm a changed woman, Sam, and I don't see the world the same anymore," she explained. He responded with a blank stare.

"I'm not asking you to become that happy-go-lucky girl again. I want to know the Hyacinth standing in front of me now. I want to see all these different sides of you, H, but you just won't let me. Harry and Sue won't be angry with you, I promise," Sam tried to reason with her. "Leah and I are done for. I know it hurts her impeccably right now, but she'll figure out that it'll benefit her in the end. I'm toxic in her life but she hasn't seen that yet."

"Hyacinth, are you ready to go?" Her mother's voice floated down the hallway. Hyacinth took a step back from the man standing before her. Sam's heart clenched with pain.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I just can't give you what you're asking for," she apologized, turning on her heel to leave.

The rejection from his imprint caused Sam to fly into a fit of rage. It caused him to get involved in an argument with Alison, and storm out of his own house. It caused him to find one of the local bars, drinking his sorrows away as the bartender stared at him. Sam knew that the bartender heard of his latest predicament with Leah. He decided to ignore his nosy gaze.

It caused him to show up at Hyacinth's doorstep late in the evening when all of the lights are already off and almost everyone is asleep.

"Sam? What the hell are you doing here?" She sniffed the air. "Are you drunk?"

She truly was beautiful. A work of art — he was amazed by the fact that fate decided to grace him with Hyacinth as his imprint, the only person he ever wanted in his life. Even as she was dressed in a pair of loose pajamas, she looked like she was ready to walk on the red carpet.

"Sam," she repeated, whispering harshly to avoid waking her mother up. "Answer me. Are you drunk?"

"Why don't you love me anymore, H?"

She was taken aback by the question. She knows Sam isn't in the right state of mind.

He continued to talk when he realized Hyacinth wasn't going to say anything back. "You loved me when we were twelve. You said we were going to be together forever, and I really believed you. Do you remember when I asked you to become my girlfriend? I asked my mom to order those hyacinth flowers online just to give to you. It was one of my proudest moments, but now, it seems like you don't even remember. It sounds like you want to forget."

Hyacinth rubbed at her temples. "Sam, it's really late and you don't know what you're saying. I'll call for someone to take you home, okay?"

"No!" He protested, hand wrapping around her wrist to stop her. He noticed that her body tensed at the action. "Please, H, just give me an explanation. I'll leave if you tell me why you don't love me anymore or why you don't even want to be friends. I'm trying my best here, but it won't work if you can't give me anything back."

"Sam, I don't know what to tell you. I don't want to hurt your feelings."

He took a deep breath. "It's okay. Go on and tell me."

"Do you remember earlier when you told me that you were toxic in Leah's life?" When he nodded, she spoke again. "Well, I think you're toxic in my life too, Sam. Ever since I came back, all of the drama in this town returns to you. I didn't have the best experiences in Atlanta, and I was hoping to have better ones in La Push. You may have been my best friend when we were younger, Sam, but things are different now. I can't handle any drama or any attention again. The whole of my high school years has been exactly that, and it's haunted me to this day. I'm sorry, Sam."

He felt Hyacinth detach from him. He heard her speaking to someone on the phone, most likely his mom or one of the members of the tribe council. He doesn't really care because his mind was swirling.

She thought that he was toxic in her life. Sam cursed the transformation of himself and the ignorant Quileute genes that have been passed down into him. He wished he had never phased so that he didn't have to go through all of this unnecessary conflict.

First, Leah hated his guts and was recruiting other people in town to hate him too. Second, the girl he's dreamed of since he was a mere child was telling him that she didn't want to be a part of his life because he caused too much drama.

He couldn't blame her for it was true. Sam was the one who disappeared for weeks because he was shocked by his shift into a werewolf. Sam was the one who ran away from the bonfire when he first saw Hyacinth again after all these years. Sam was the one who broke Leah's heart.

Before Hyacinth was finished with the call, Sam left her doorstep. He did what he knew he was best at — he ran.

angst, angst, angst!!