Kaori

Habang nakaupo ay panay ang lingon ko sa likod. He said he'll be home before my graduation, damn it! Bakit ngayong graduation ko na wala pa rin?!

"Kanina ka pa lingon ng lingon, Kaori. Baka mapagalitan ka," sita ng katabi ko.

"Sorry."

Umayos ako ng upo at nag-focus nalang sa harap. The program continued but my mind wasn't cooperating. Lumingon-lingon ako sa likod nagbabakasakaling dumating na siya. But he was never there. Nang mag-awarding na ay nawalan na talaga ako ng pag-asa sa kaniya.

"Norhaya, Kaori Hijazi. Magna Cum Laude."

Kasunod ko sa paglalakad ang mommy at daddy. Malawak ang ngiti ko pero hilaw 'yon. Why isn't he here yet?

I was standing at the center with mom and dad on my side for picture taking. After a couple of shots, someone cleared its throat behind me.

"Sorry. I forgot to buy flowers so I had to go back."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa likod. His blood shot eyes is staring at me.

"We'll go down first, anak," paalam ni mommy na tinanguan naman ni daddy.

We were left at the center, in fron of the crowd. He then held my waist and moved next to me.

"Smile, my love."

Nag-init ang bawat sulok ng mga mata ko. Tumingin ako sa harap at ngumiti. Sa pagbaba ay akay-akay niya ako. Sinalubong naman kami ni mommy at daddy na naghihintay pala sa baba.

"It's nice to finally meet you, young man," mom started.

"It's my pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Norhaya."

"Mom, dad, this is Hussein, my boyfriend," pormal na pakilala ko.

I felt his hands locked on mine. Malamig iyon at mahigpit ang pagkakahawak sa kamay ko. His eyes were cold but hiding behind those cold eyes is the scared Hussein.

"You're aware of my daughter's future, right, Hussein?" dad strictly asked.

I stilled. Hussein isn't.

"Dad, let's just wait for this event to finish," mariing ani ko.

Mom held dad's hand. Alam ni mommy na hindi ko pa sinasabi kay Hussein, he's giving dad a signal.

Pagdating ng gabi ay natagpuan ko nalang ang sarili na nakaupo sa harap ni mommy at daddy. Hussein is in the kitchen, cooking dinner for us. His back looked sexy and hot as hell. Ayos na ayos pa ang buhok nito na naka-gel. Panay rin ang lingon nito sa 'kin na parang sa isang iglap ay mawawala ako.

"Hindi ko pa sinasabi kay Hussein, dad. Ano ba 'yan," nayayamot kong sabi.

"What's your plan with him? You know you cannot keep him, Kaori."

"I know, dad. Ako na ang bahala sa kaniya."

Nagulat ako sa niluto ni Hussein. Pagkain na ginagamitan ng chopsticks. Kailan pa siya natutong magluto ng ganito?

"Wow. You know how to cook," dad praised him.

Hussein sat next to me. His hand made its on my legs. Na kay dad ang atensyon niya pero minamasahe naman nito ang hita ko. Paminsan-minsan ay pinipisil kapag sinasagot si dad sa tanong nito. I looked flushed because of how his huge hand caress my thigh.

"You know how to use chopsticks?" I casually asked.

"Hm." Hussein handed me a sushi using his chopsticks. "I practiced in Italy."

"Wow. Marunong ka agad?" agap ko.

"I broke hundreds of them. The first one broke when I touched it. The second one broke when I tried using it. The third chopstick flew all the way to my chandelier when I accidentally misused it. The rest is history," he explained.

"Why do you want to learn how to use chopsticks, Hussein? 'Tsaka bakit hindi nagpaturo dito kay Kaori?" mom softly asked.

Hussein's face softened. His head turned to me and he let it a small chuckle. I gave him a questioning look.

"So I can eat with you, Ma'am."

"What do you mean about that, young man? Pwede ka namang kumain kasama kami gamit ang kutsara at tinidor," mahinahong sabi ni mommy.

"I plan to keep Kaori, Mrs. Norhaya. And what I mean is that she'll be my wife soon and I badly want to enter the other side of her. Her being a Japanese and your culture."

Pakiramdam ko ay malalaglag na ang butil ng mga luha galing sa mga mata ko. Damn. How can I hurt this man? He's been good to me. Pampering me with his love and gentleness. Napaka-selfish ko.

"You want to make her your wife? Are you sure with that, Hussein?" seryosong tanong ni mommy.

"Everything used to be unsure. And then she came in the picture, and everything around me felt surreal." Nanginig ang labi ng boyfriend ko. Dahan-dahan ay lumingon siya sa 'kin at binigyan ako ng ngiti. Ang kamay niya na kanina ay nasa hita ko ay napunta sa kamay ko. Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa 'kin na para bang may kukuha sa 'kin galing sa kaniya. "She's the only disaster that I am willing to risk."

TEN PM, mom and dad left without me. Mom talked to me before they left, telling me to end things with him. Mom wants me to end my relationship with Hussein because she knows I'll only hurt him. He is a good man and I don't deserve him.

Alam kong masasaktan siya. Pero alam ko ring makakaya niya ng wala ako. He deserves better. Someone who's willing to keep him. Someone who will make him happy for the rest of his life.

I am bound to marry someone. My future is sealed. But I still did it.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na mahalin siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hinayaan ko pang subukan namin. Knowing the fact that I am marrying someone that is not him. A family heritage that I cannot break.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he asked.

"I'm okay. Napagod lang kanina."

"Want me to take you home?"

"Kailan ka pa dumating? Hinanap kita kanina," sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

Napakamot ito sa likod ng ulo at kiming ngumiti.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"No cuddles for you."

I crossed my arms and made my way to the kitchen. Nagsimula akong ligpitin ang mga pinagkainan namin. Narinig ko ang yabag niya sa likod ko pero hindi ko ito nilingon.

"But, baby, that's unfair!" He stomped his feet like a kid. "I want cuddles! I need cuddles! Cuddles is what I want!"

"You don't deserve cuddles after what you did. Ang lakas ng loob mong magsabi na uuwi ka bago ang graduation ko tapos kanina muntik ka pa ma-late," mahinahon ngunit nagtitimpi kong sabi. "Tumigil ka naiinis ako sa 'yo. Kapag hindi ka tumigil ibabato ko 'to sa 'yo lahat." Tinuro ko ang mga pinggan at baso na nasa lababo.

Napalunok ito ng ilang beses saka bumaling ng tingin sa 'kin. His eyes were pleading.

"I'll buy you ice cream and chocolate. Exchange for cuddles, baby."

"Ihatid mo na ako. Gusto ko ng umuwi," iling ko.

"No! I want cuddles!" he frustratedly shouted.

"Mag-cuddle ka mag-isa! Bwesit!"

Nilayasan ko siya sa kusina at lumabas ng bahay. Kung hindi niya ako ihahatid, magt-taxi ako pauwi.

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad nang bigla akong lumutang sa ere. Hussein lifted me up easily and sat on the cemented stairs in his front yard. Me sitting in his lap and him whispering words to my ears.

"Love, sorry na. Sorry na po. I won't do it again. Sorry na."

"Ikaw kasi! Inisin mo pa ako may kalalagyan ka talaga sa 'kin."

"I won't do it again. I'm sorry."

"Tomorrow. Seven PM. Dinner date," I stated.

"Fine." He breaths hard. "We will." His lips found the back of my ear and it made my heart throb. "Whatever you like, my queen. We will do that."

I nodded. His lips traveled down to my neck, making me whimper because of the sensation.

"No hickeys."

"Yes, love. No love bites. Let's cuddle inside, hm? I'll drive you back home tomorrow."

"Gusto ko umuwi ngayon! Naiwan na si Kady mag-isa sa apartment," tutol ko.

"I'll call Arthur to be with Kady tonight."

"Ayoko sa 'yo," ibinaon ko ang mukha sa leeg niya at yumakap ng mahigpit.

Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa nito at ang dahan-dahang pagtayo. Nasa likod ko ang dalawang kamay bilang suporta para hindi ako malaglag.

"Let's talk about that inside."

"Uwi na," antok kong saad.

"You'll be with me tonight, my queen."

"Ayaw."

"I love you too, baby."

*****