Kaori

Kady helped me with my hair. It's already six PM and Kady is fixing my hair while I'm fixing my make up. May pagka-goth si Kady pero maganda naman ang fashion sense niya. Pinapili ko siya kanina kung anong mas bagay na suotin. Kung iyong floral spaghetti dress ba o iyong brown satin dress with a slit na hapit na hapit sa katawan ko. She chose the latter and then paired it with a brown cigarette five inch heels.

"Ang ganda mo, Kaori." Amusement danced in her eyes.

"Alam ko, Kady. Sobrang ganda ko," ngiting tagumpay na sabi ko.

"Nasa labas na si Hussein. Ang swerte mo sa boyfriend mo, huwag mo ng pakawalan 'yan."

Ngiti lang ang isinagot ko sa kaniya. I walked outside and found my gorgeous as hell boyfriend standing near his car. I saw how his eyes darken while staring at me from head to foot.

Hindi na nakatiis ang mga paa nito at naglakad palapit sa 'kin. Marahas na pumalibot sa 'kin ang maugat na braso nito at agad akong hinapit palapit. He planted soft kisses on my head down to the back of my ears and to my neck. He stared at me for awhile and dropped a deep gentle kiss on my lips.

"Damn. You nearly took my breath away."

"Ang swerte mo napaka-ganda ng girlfriend mo," I teased.

"Yeah. I am one hell of a lucky man," he huskily remarked. "Let's go?"

"Yes, let's get going."

He opened the car door for me and protected my head while I was going inside. Umikot ito at pumasok sa drivers seat. He maneuver the car towards our destination.

"So, saan tayo?" imik ko.

"That's a surprise," may naglalarong ngiti na nakapaskil sa labi nito.

"Parang kahapon nasa first year pa ako. Ngayon graduate na," mahihimigan ang tuwa sa boses ko.

I am finally entering the world of medicine. I will be one of those hardworking people out there. I'm going to be working my ass off day and night.

"I will always be proud of you, girlfriend," he turned to me and flashed a smile. "Your boyfriend is always proud of you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

"What would you feel if I want to break up?"

"Don't think lowly of me, my queen. You still have no idea what wicked things that I can do."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing," ngumiti ito sa 'kin. "What will I feel? Hm, let's say hatred and madness."

Lumihis ang tingin ko sa kaniya dahil sa nakakakilabot na ngisi niya sa 'kin. He looked like a mad man with wicked things in mind. I don't know how to end things. Pero sinabihan ko na si dad. I'll immediately dial his number if something happens or what.

Hindi ako makaramdam ng takot kay Hussein. Alam kong hindi niya ako sasaktan. My trust for him is as high as the clouds. Hindi niya ako sasaktan, alam ko 'yon. Magagalit siya sa 'kin... siguro. But he won't hurt me.

"Why are we here?"

Tumigil ang sasakyan sa isang port. May nakahilerang mga barko. Malaki at maliit.

"We'll have our dinner date here, sweetheart. Come on."

He helped me from stepping out of the car to entering one of the yacht. The hell?

"Is this yours?" gulat kong tanong.

"Hm." He nodded.

"How many yacht do you have?!" I yelled.

"Shh, no yelling, love. I lost count, I have it all over the world," he calmly hushed.

"Ganoon ka kayaman? How about your parents? How rich are they?"

I bit my lower lip, trying to surpass the surprise that may come.

"I don't know, baby."

And then realization hit me. I don't have any knowledge about his family background. Hussein never opened up to me about them.

"Do you want to meet them?" he asked.

"Not now. Wala nga akong masyadong alam sa family background mo. How uncool is that?" I sounded sarcastic.

"I don't know anything with yours too, aside from the fact that you came from a Japanese family. How rich are you, my love? Hm?" he sweetly asked.

"Hindi ako mayaman. Umaasa nga lang ako sa kanila eh. That's why I can't wait to work and earn my money. Lilibutin ko talaga ang mundo bago magpakasal," litanya ko.

"Okay, we could do that."

Hussein, hindi ka kasama sa plano.

"Then we'll just use pills so I wouldn't get you pregnant that easily," his voice roared on my ears.

"What- what?! Are you saying we'll have pre-marital sex?!"

"Love making, sweetheart. It's love making," diin nito. "Don't you want that set up?"

"We'll do the love making after marriage. Period."

I'm saying things as if I wouldn't end things with him tonight. Damn. I'm such a fool.

"How old do you want to get married?"

"It depends. Ten years from now? I don't know. I'm not sure," sagot ko.

"I'll be thirty-nine and you'll be thirty-two. I'm cool about that. Whatever you like is okay with me."

The yacht didn't move from the port. There was a table for two inside the yacht. It was so beautiful.

"I already prepared food for us."

"Take out?" I asked.

"No. Why would I buy take out when I can cook for my queen, right? This is a special celebration and you deserve special food."

"Anong kapalit nito?" natatawang tanong ko.

"Your undying love for me," he seriously said.

"Okay big boy."

I sat there comfortably while he prepared the food. The sound of the waves lingered in my ears. I closed my eyes and thought of what I'll say letter. What I'll do will definitely break him. Kamumuhian niya ako.

"What's in that pretty little mind of yours, baby?"

"Nothing."

Ito na siguro ang pinaka-memorable na nangyari sa buhay ko. Eating dinner with him, inside the yacht, with the waves, and under the glowing moon and stars. Ang ganda ng langit. Parang sinasabi sa 'kin na huwag ko munang pakawalan ang lalaking kaharap ko na walang ibang ginawa kundi ang mahalin ako at ibigay sa 'kin lahat ng gusto ko.

Payag siya sa lahat ng desisyon o bagay na gugustuhin ko. Payag din kaya siya sa gagawin ko? Alam kong hindi.

"Love, you know that I love you, right?" I whispered.

We were lying down the bed watching the moon and stars above. Nakalagay sa ilalim ng ulo nito ang isang braso at ang isa naman ay nakapulupot sa 'kin. I made his broad chest my pillow. This is comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. Given that I am going to be breaking up with him.

"I love you too, baby. I know."

Hindi ko kaya. Tangina.

"You were my first in everything," I added.

"You may not be my first, but I'll make sure you'll be the last."

I felt his lips in my head.

"I want to break up," I whispered.

"Hm? I can't hear you, love. Say it again," marahang sabi niya na mas lalong nagpahina sa 'kin.

My chest tightened and tears began falling.

"Let's break up."

I closed my eyes, waiting for his response. Minutes passed by and he remained silent. Nagtaas ako ng tingin. Nakangiti lang ito habang nakatingin sa 'kin.

"Hussein, ayoko na."

"Mood swings again, love? Does your tummy hurt? Want me to get you something to eat? Massage? I can do that."

I hate how his voice sounded sweet. I hate how he smile like that to me. I hate how I am hurting him. I hate everything.

"Gusto ko na makipaghiwalay."

"Why? Don't you want me anymore?"

I do.

"I'm bound to marry someone. And it's not you. I'm sorry. You deserve better," my throat started hurting.

"Make me your second man, I'm okay with that.," matigas na sabi nito.

Kinalas ko ang pagkakayakap niya sa 'kin at lumayo. He looked hurt with that sudden action of mine. His eyes were furiously looking at my soul.

"We can't."

"Yes, we can, Kaori."

"Hindi. Mas mabuti pa kung makahanap ka ng iba kesa gawin kitang kabit. Magpapakasal ako sa iba. Tradisyon 'yon ng pamilya namin. Hindi ko pwedeng suwayin ang bagay na 'yon. Nag-iisang anak lang ako at 'yon na ang tungkulin ko hindi pa man ako isinisilang sa mundong 'to," litanya ko. "I need to marry a Japanese man and have a family with him. I can't continue having a relationship with you."

"Then why did you let yourself have a damn relationship with me, Norhaya?"

His eyes strongly stared at me with no emotions. Gone the sweet Hussein. He's mad. And it's because of me.

"Why did you let me fall for you?"

Hussein closed his fist.

"Why the fuck did you let me have you, Norhaya?"

My eyes watered more when he started walking towards me. Nagsumiksik ako sa gilid ng kama para iwasan siya.

"Why the fuck is that, hm?"

"Hindi ko alam! H-hindi ko alam."

"Tell me you love me and I'll forget everything that happened here."

He leaned in to me and held my chin to face him. Hindi natigil sa pag-agos ang luha ko.

Ano ba, Hussein, bakit ka ganiyan?

"Mag-break na tayo. Ayoko na."

"What will be the consequences if you won't marry him?"

Lahat sila kamumuhian ang pamilya namin. Maski ang Lolo at Lola ni mommy at daddy ay itatakwil kami. We have a reputation to protect and a tradition to follow. We shouldn't marry someone who is not Japanese. No one in my family married someone who is not Japanese. At kapag nangyari 'yon, hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupulutin. I can't let that happen. It's either my family or him.

"Hindi mo naiintindihan."

"Naiintindihan kita, Kaori. Tangina naiintindihan kita kahit sinasaktan mo ako ng ganito."

"Let just set each other free. Sige na oh, maghiwalay na tayo," I sounded so desperate. "Makakahanap ka pa ng mas higit sa 'kin. 'Yong hindi ka lolokohin at hindi sinungaling. 'Yong kaya kang ipaglaban at piliin. Hindi ako. I'm not... the right woman for you, Hussein."

Hindi ko kaya. Bawat katagang lumalabas sa bibig ko ay mahihimigan ang pagsusumamo. Kapag nagtagal pa 'to baka bawiin ko lahat ng sinabi ko.

I can't stand how hurt he is right now. His eyes were tired and tears were already falling from them.

"You want to be free." Hussein stated.

No. I want you to be free from me.

"You're really determined to leave?" he sobbed. "I'm hurting, love. What should I do?"

"Let me go and move on."

"It won't be that easy. I love you. Just tell me you love me and I'll talk to your mom and dad. Ako na ang bahala sa lahat. Sabihin mo lang na mahal mo ako. Please, Kaori, sabihin mo."

"Ayoko. Maghiwalay na tayo."

Binalot ng katahimikan ang paligid. He was dangerously staring at me with dark eyes.

"Fine."

Lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko dahil doon.

"But with one condition," he smiled.

"No games. Gusto ko ng umuwi. Iuwi mo na ako."

"Sleep with me, Kaori. And after that, you're free to go. I won't meddle with your life again."

"Hibang ka na."

"Oo. Hibang ako sa 'yo, matagal na."

"Iuwi mo na ako. Pagod na ako."

"Sleep with me. That's the only thing I am asking."

I sighed in defeat and tiredness.

"No sex 'till marriage. I told you, I don't want that."

"Then I'm sorry but you won't escape from me."

"Iuwi mo na ako!"

"Sleep with me and I will safely drive you back home. I want to be your first in everything, Kaori. Everything. I won't be your last but let me be your first at least."

Nagtagal ang titig ko sa kaniya. He was giving me the same ferocity. Bumaba ang tingin nito sa labi ko at nagtagal doon. I saw how his adams apple move up and down.

There was no rules that I shouldn't sleep with anyone except from my husband. Is this okay? This is okay.

"Sleep. With. Me." ulit nito. "Sleep with me and you're free."

My mind was still in chaos but my body moved otherwise. I held his collar and crashed my lips to his. I removed his coat without breaking the kiss. I felt his lips rose up because of what I did.

"Akin ka, Kaori. Sa akin ka lang."

*****