3

'Honey, you're eating an awful lot recently' said mum 'I'm a bit concerned.'

I looked up from my fourth bowl of cereal. 'What do you mean?' I asked suspiciously.

'Well, don't take this offensively Olly. But you don't want to gain more weight, you'll start to get fat' she looked guilty as she said it and sipped her early morning coffee.

I looked down at my stomach in the loosest fitting pajamas I could fine. Was it just me or did it stick out too much? 'Thanks mum' I replied. She looked at me strangely for a moment then Joshua walked through the doors and kissed my mum, taking her by surprised.

'You're cheerful' she said, grinning.

'Yep. Work's going great. A promotion on the horizon. And we can finally get a second car.'

Mum gave a little excited scream and wrapped her arms around him. She's quite young my mum, only thirty four. She had me when she was nineteen. Seems like teenage pregnancies run in the family. Joshua sat down on the table opposite me.

'Hey kiddo' he said, reaching forward to ruffle my hair until I pulled back.

'Hey adult' I replied, flattening down my hair again.

'What's new with you?'

I'm pregnant. 'Nothing much. You?'

He shrugged 'thinking of moving in permanently.'

'Wow, good way of telling me that' I replied, grinning because I loved Joshua to bits 'but don't you already live here permanently?'

He shrugged 'I have a flat, I just don't particularly like spending time there when I could be spending it with your yummy mummy.'

Mum giggled again and sat down next to him, I didn't blame her. I would have been happy if I had a boyfriend like Joshua. He was pretty much a babe, even if he was a bit too old for me, I've had more than a few friends falling in love with him. Of course he adored my mum and treated her like a goddess and it helped that he was barely thirty and made my mum feel so much younger which made me happy. To be honest, me and mum were in our heads about the same age so we're not really mother and daughter, more best friends. All the more reason I'm wasn't looking forward to telling her. I couldn't gauge a reaction at all.

When we first arrived in LA, after running away from New York because of my behavior, mum worked two jobs in bars, which is where she met him. He was an aspiring musician, as well as an office worker (I don't actually know his job. I never tend to listen.) And they met when they were both working nights. I think it's one of the cutest stories ever, because she found out he liked her when he wrote a song about her for a surprise.

The best I got is a drunken teenage fumble with the father of my baby. How romantic.

I ran upstairs to get dressed, my jeans were getting to tight for me I noticed. I managed to pull them on though, with lots of huffing and puffing and I put on a loose fitting top. I stood back and observed the effect. You could barely see the bulge, only I would notice it. I smiled at my reflection and ran my hands through my hair. I had coarse, black hair that ran down past my shoulders in feathered excellence. My eyes were bright blue and I had very white skin, which refused to tan or even burn. All in all I looked like a vampire. Ah well. It worked for some people.

Then I looked in the mirror and realized that my hands were rested over my stomach, stroking it softly. I pulled them back again, reminding myself not to do that in front of people. There were more than a few people who thought I'd been pregnant before.

I heard the doorbell ring and ran down the stairs, grabbing my already packed shoulder bag and opening the door. Tina was waiting for me outside, leaning against the wall casually as she looked up with disconcerting, dark brown eyes. Her eyes raked over my clothes choice.

'You look nice' she said. I couldn't tell whether she was being serious or not.

'Thanks' I said unsurely, stepping outside to close the door.

'I see you've decided not to wear makeup today' she said.

Makeup? How could I even think about makeup? 'Uh, yeah it's like au natural' I smiled and Tina looked amused. She looked perfect as normal. The preppy one.

'Suits you' she replied, in one of those rare moments of kindness she sometimes had while she was forgetting her cool exterior. 'God, I'm excited about my party this weekend.'

'Yeah. Shame I couldn't come' I changed the subject quickly 'that wouldn't be because a certain someone is on the guest list, would it?'

Tina grinned 'you know me too well Olly.'

'Come on TinTin, when was the last time you didn't get the guy you're chasing?'

'The last time you called me TinTin in front of him I expect' she replied, then yawned. 'God it's boring at the moment don't you think?'

No, it's too dramatic. 'Yeah.'

'I wish something interesting would happen, so I could bitch about it.'

'What. Had enough of bitching about Melissa?'

'Never. But other things would make it more varied.'

I shook my head. I had no idea what Tina had against Michelle, it just seemed like everything. But then again one thing that ticked her off could start the hundred years war. Sometimes it was like treading on eggshells. When we arrived, we were suddenly grouped around by the norms and few hangers on. And... Mike. I felt my heart suddenly do a backflip as he pushed a strand of dark hair off his face and smiled at me.

'Hey Olly.'

'Hey' I replied.

'Get a room' said Tina and I shoved her lightly, blushing and feeling my stomach drop as he blushed as well. I had fancied him for nearly three years, despite a few obvious relapses, and she knew it all too well. I always thought we would end up together, even if he was into classier girls. I always thought I would classy up as I got older, but now I'd always be the one who had a baby.

And again with the baby, how could I forget? I stared down at the bulge which now suddenly seemed so huge I was surprised no one around me could see it. It was already all I could see. It was already ruining my life.

4

Baby names.

When I was a kid I used to think about what I would call my children. Of course I hadn't been pregnant then.

I was lying on my bed, with a bag of chips on my stomach with my headphones firmly plugged into my ears. I wondered whether the baby could hear it or not. Then I got the creeps because I imagined the ting thing dancing in there. It sounds funny but it scared me.

'Olly.'

'What?' I yelled, pausing my music.

'Why does it smell of sick in the downstairs bathroom?'

Oops. I was sick in there after eating the tacos for dinner. I pulled myself off the bed and ran down the stairs to where mum was standing, one eyebrow raised.

'Uh, because I was sick' I said 'it must have been the tacos.'

'The tacos where fine' she sighed 'Olly, you didn't make yourself sick after what I said this morning did you. And the other day when you were in here for ages. You weren't doing it then as well?'

My mind raced. If I said yes it would be easier surely. But I don't exactly want to go to a psychiatrist. 'I was just feeling ill' I said slowly.

'Are you sure?'

'Quiet sure' I replied.

'Do you want me to take you to the doctors'

'No' I said quickly, way too quickly and mum looked up. Not convinced. 'No seriously I think it was one of those twenty four hour things I'm completely fine now.'

'Anything you have to say, you can tell me you know. I won't judge you at all.'

But you will, I thought. You won't be able to help it. Like everyone else you'll just think of me as being that person I inadvertently made.

I never used to be like that. When I was at elementary school I was fine. A normal kid, all happy and smiling playing with all the other kids and never getting involved in anything bad. When I moved schools everything changed. Somehow I ended up in a school away from all my oh-so-innocent friends. I only knew one person, Kasia, a daughter of one of my mum's friends who was two years above me so I hung around with her a lot. And she wasn't the right person to hang around with. And being an impressionable twelve year old I got caught up on a wild ride of alcohol and ultimately sex. In the end I had to leave before I did myself some serious damage.

Serious damage like getting pregnant.

So moving away wasn't really worth it anyway. Oh god, I'm so sorry mum.