Authors note - my pace is slowling down a bit. Sorry. But in my defence I'm not getting hoardesof votes or anything. No pressure but if you like a chapter please vote. -D

Cat-eyes

17

The day I went back to school after me and Tina's fight was probably the worst day of my life. It topped the day I found out I was pregnant and the day my mum told me I ruined everything, easily.

Tina didn't turn up at my door that morning, unsurprisingly, so I walked alone. Feeling fatter than ever and like my entire secret life had been completely exposed. And it only doubled when I walked through the school gates, it doubled, tripled. Everyone staring then whispering loudly, just so I could hear, and everyone laughing. How did they all know?

My eyes fell on Tina, and I marched across the grounds.

'You bitch' I hissed.

She looked amused 'don't bring me down with you.' Then she turned her back on a stunned me, well it wasn't like I hadn't been expecting them to drop me, but I hadn't been expecting Tina to be such a bitch about it. Thinking back at it, that was a huge mistake.

I turned away, looking at the floor and walking across the tarmac ground. As I did I heard people cough slag and when I looked at them they laughed with their friends. When they looked at me they didn't see anyone who had emotions, someone not even human, just defined by that one stupid moment that had obviously been completely her fault.

That one moment that tortured me mercilessly.

I found a quiet corner and sat down on the ground, resting my back against the wall and resting my head on my knees. Wishing it would all go away. That I could go back home to a mum that hated me.

'How are things with your mum?' asked Claire, surprising me.

'They're completely fine' I replied, lied.

'Are you sure?' she asked again, concerned 'she's being supportive and everything? I get so many girls who have no support from their parents, some even get chucked out when they find out, I don't want that to happen to you.'

'She's fine' I said, unblinkingly 'we keep going to see the adoptive families.'

'Oh right' she shuffled some papers 'how's that going? Found anyone?'

'No' I shook my head 'they're all wrong.'

'Why?'

I shrugged.

'Hmm, that's interesting.'

I looked up 'how is that interesting?'

Claire pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder 'well. Most pregnant teenagers don't really care that much about where the baby's going to. I mean, they care that the people are able to support a baby and good candidates, but they're rarely this particular.' She hesitated 'Olly, are you sure you don't want to keep it?'

'Keep it' I laughed 'hasn't it had enough of ruining my life?'

'Hmm' Claire pursed her lips 'I don't think you should look at it that way Olly. You have to see that it's just another one of those things...'

'... Part of life's rich tapestry' I said, rolling eyes.

'It's not funny Olly.'

'I don't think it is' I replied.

'If you start seeing this baby as ruining your life, you'll start to hate it and that would be awful ' she paused 'you don't hate it, do you?'

I shrugged, glancing down at the horrifically huge belly which surprised me every time. Somehow I expected to look down and see my old flat stomach which had more than likely disappeared.

'Okay, so I found a school for you' she said and handed me a leaflet 'don't lose it this time.'

I swallowed and looked at the leaflet. Some falsely cheery pregnant girl was on the front in front of a picture of the school with 'a friendly, relaxed atmosphere for pregnant teenage girls and teenage mothers.'

'Brilliant' I said sarcastically. Why would I want to go back to school?

'You should really go' she said 'you can't miss out on school anymore. It's vital for you to go, besides it gives you tips on dealing with pregnancy and looking after babies.'

'I'm not keeping it' I said.

'Whatever' she said airily. 'You really have to go. You can't not have an education.'

'Fine, I'll go' I said 'but it will be awful.'

'They'll all be pregnant' she said 'it's not like they're going to single you out and call you a slag is it?'

'Well now I'm worried that's going to happen' I admitted. Claire smiled.

'Olly. They'll love you. Now promise me you'll go?'

'I'll go' I promised.

18

On the wall in the toilets someone had hastily scribbled 'O.W give it away 4 free!' I felt tears prickle my eyes and the urge to be sick even stronger than ever before.

'Wow' I said, as I watched two girls walk past. One of them clearly pregnant, and walk into the building. It was a grey, non interesting building but it made my heart race with terror. 'They'll hate me.'

'I doubt that' said mum, and opened the door for me 'now hurry up. I have to go to work.' I climbed out, pulling my nearly empty bag away with me as well and she drove off and I was completely alone. I turned to look at the building and wet my lips nervously. A girl walked past, holding a baby with headphones jammed into her ears so she didn't even look at me. I grimaced and walked towards it slowly, wishing I could be anywhere else. Aside from my old school.

The actual building was made up of three rooms. Two classrooms and a nursery full of crying babies trying to be hushed by the nanny or their mothers. I shuddered and walked into the first classroom. It looked strangely normal. Aside from the fact that half the students were pregnant and a few holding young babies.

'You're the new girl right?' I turned around to see a tiny red head looking up at me with surprisingly green eyes while she held a sleeping baby in her arms.

'I... umm. Yeah' I said, stupidly. She smiled.

'I'm Kayla, and this little man is Freddy.'

'Aww' I said unenthusiastically.

She stroked his blonde, fine hair 'not a baby person?' she said, lifting her eyebrow.

'Well, no' I said 'sorry. It's just. I didn't mean to get pregnant.'

'Do you think any of us did?' she asked.

'Umm. No. Sorry I didn't mean to suggest that.'

'You're nervous' she said 'don't worry. I was terrified for the first month or so. I didn't want to go back to school after what middle school had been like, but it's fine really. They're really relaxed and non judging. It's brilliant.'

It sounded brilliant. But I wasn't sure whether that was just because of everything else. 'How old are you?' I asked.

'Fifteen in a month' she said.

'Fourteen?' I said, then remembered I got pregnant when I was fourteen.

'I was thirteen when I got pregnant' she replied 'it was my first time. Pretty much the most terrifying moment of my life when I found out.'

'I know how you feel' I said.

'I was so scared to tell my mum because I knew she would judge me so much. When I did she chucked me out.'

'Oh my God, I'm so sorry' I gabbled, and she smiled. Shaking her head.

'It's fine, don't worry. Actually it's better than fine. I live with the dad's parents so they're supportive most of the time, so that's good' they're was an edge of her voice that made me know that it wasn't quite good.

'You're still with the dad?' I said, surprised.

'Yeah. But we don't- you know. What about you?'

'I don't know who he is' I replied.

'Oh, I'm sorry' she said. 'But you know what, it might seem mean but this place makes you feel great about your own situation. Like for instance Debbie basically got raped and kept the baby. And Sasha had twins but one was still born.'

'That's awful' I said.

'Yeah, teenage mum's get the worst deal' she shrugged.

'What about Freddy?' I asked 'he's completely fine and everything right?'

'Yeah. He's really healthy. Nearly six months now and he's beautiful. Don't you think?'

I nodded 'why did you keep him?'

'I'm a catholic' she said 'so I couldn't have an abortion. So I got adoptive parents, but when it came round to it I just couldn't give him up. I loved him too much already.'

'I can't imagine-' I began.

She smiled 'you can't until their born. It's the only way to know.'

There wasn't a timetable. We just worked from books and took tests and things completely up to us. And girls kept coming and going to sort out their babies. We had a break and a lunch break where Kayla introduced me to the other girls. Pretty much all of them had dodgy pasts, but were really nice people who had turned themselves around. Kayla was the only one still with the father, half of them didn't even know who the father was and the other half hated him anyway. There were so many babies as well, it seemed like they filled the whole place up. And people kept introducing them to me again and again and I couldn't remember any of the names.

'It gets easier' whispered Kayla in my ear and left me wondering whether she meant remembering the names or being pregnant.