You were sitting on your bed eating some chips and watching a movie on your laptop as for tonight you had decided to not study at all, since you were on holidays.

You had your last lecture for this year just some hours ago and you already were feeling the freedom in the air, even though it wouldn't last long since you had to do some catch up while on holiday season.

But it was going to be okay. You could slack off tonight and study all day tomorrow then the next day till 2am since you had to go shopping with Sira for the Christmas table at the afternoon and the day after that was Christmas.

You shivered just at the thought of it, as you had to invite Jimin for dinner over at Sira's house thing that you hadn't done yet nor knew how to address that subject actually.

You were hoping he would decline however, because someone like him surely would have something better to do on Christmas than hang out with his so called slave.

A knock on your door, drew your attention away from the marvel movie you were watching for the millionth time. You were just a marvel fan, you couldn't help it.

"Yes!" You shouted a little allowing the one that you assumed to be jungkook to enter, while your eyes didn't moved from your laptops screen as the movie was on the finishing point and had grasped your full attention.

He opened the door and entered quietly, halting besides your bed, waiting for you to notice him.

"One moment." You told him and he stayed put for around five minutes till the credits started rolling on your screen and you paused it.

"Sorry. What did you need? You looked his way and immediately noticed his expressionless face that somehow scared you.

He took a seat and laid on your bed, a deep sigh escaping his lips as his eyes got pinned on the ceiling.

" Jungkook? What's wrong? "You put your laptop that was resting on your lap aside together with your chips and turned to face him, eventually as he didn't answer, you crawled a little more upwards, till you face was just above his face.

He locked eyes with you that were looking down at him from a normal distance and somehow he pursed his lips, not sure if he should be doing this.

"You can talk to me. You know you can trust me, right? We may not have talked with each other often but we have been living together for almost a year and a half. If i can help-" He listened to your words for a little bit but then he interrupted you, thinking that it didn't matter if you were his friend or not, if he could trust you or whatever. He just needed to speak to someone instead of spending hours punching a sandbag on gym or crying alone on his room.

"I met Areum.. And.. We can't be together." He said, his voice steady yet  it perfectly reflected his sad emotions.

"I am so sorry." Was all you said at that moment as you didn't really knew what to say however he just pulled a smile on his lips that wasn't matching his eyes that showed pain.

"I met her when i was seven. She was the only one who dared to befriend me as everyone at school knew who's son i was." Jungkook spoke and you prepared yourself to listen to whatever he wanted to say even though from his sentence you wondered one thing. 'who's son was he?'

" She never left my side. She bared with my crappy attitude and moodswings, with my bodyguards that would follow me around even on a simple walk at the park or to the ice cream shop. She even bared the every day nagging of her parents that were warning her to stay away from me."Jungkook paused his eyes gazing at the ceiling as if he was able to see on it his memories being displayed.

" She reached her hand to me once and she never took it back. She is that kind of person. How could I not love her?"His eyes started getting glassy at that question and you swiftly reached for his hand and grabbed a hold of it, silently trying to comfort him.

" Because i loved her, i hide my feelings for her. I didn't want for her to love me back cause I was still the son of that man. Having me as a best friend was enough of a stain to someone with her family status."

"Don't say that. Status doesn't matter. And you are not your father, you are you." You told him, finding it unfair that he must carry a burden that didn't even belong to him.

"You don't know what you are talking about Y/N. But I will protect you by not telling you." He looked at you as his hand that you were holding, hold your back softly.

"I always make many friends but all are passersbies but you sure were not my friend but you were always around plus you are to good of a person. You shouldn't be around me either." His words frustrated you somehow as it felt like he was pushing you away while he was obviously in need for someone.

" I chose what is good for me or not. You mind your own business. "You glared at him and he giggled for a moment, before returning his gaze to the ceiling.

" She said she loves me, she had for a long while but she won't be with me because I haven't decided what I want. "He continued making you try to put pieces together in your head and make sense of the scattered pieces of information that you knew about his case till now.

" And she is right, if i were enough of a man, i would have made the sacrifice first, instead of asking her to pull off her engagement and just wait for me...so egoistic of me." He chuckled bitterly at his words somehow making you get emotional.

He wasn't being egoistic, in your eyes he seemed just scared. Not courageous enough to make whatever that sacrifice was even though he really loved that woman.

" You are just human Jungkook. Don't blame it all on you." You told him, slipping your hand away from his and reaching on his chest where you patted him lightly, twice.

"Cry if that's what you want to do. Scream, say whatever. Laugh, recall, imagine. Do it all, whatever it takes to get it out of your system. Just promise me that you will wake up tomorrow with the thought that you are stronger, because you survived tonight. "You smiled after you told him those words and somehow he looked at you with wide eyes for a little, before those unblinking eyes got full of tears that started to roll down his cheek, till he grabbed one of your pillows and covered his face, crying in silence while you remained seated next to him on the bed, feeling heavy hearted at the sight because you knew how it felt.

You knew how it was feeling powerless and not brave enough to stand up for yourself.

---To be continued....