Alex smirks at me, he totally knows we're here, but I try to ignore him. Jake is telling me this story about how he saved this guy's life. I'm not sure I believe him. I've never been able to trust Jake. He's a liar and a cheater, but I probably deserve him. Alex is too good for me. Too good to be pulled into the mess of my life. I hate seeing being tortured by the murderer I pissed off somehow. I hate seeing him awake at odd hours of the night because I woke him up crying. Screaming. Needing someone. I hate making him sit in this cafe, watching me on a date with some other guy. One he knows is worse than him. One he also knows could still win my heart. I hate seeing him worry about me. About my safety. About my love life. About my family life. About me.

So, I don't want to pull Alex into this, but I find myself thinking about him at every opportunity. Like right now, when I should be listening to actually date. Or when I was sitting that airplane after he magically came back alive. All I could think about is Alex and what Alex was thinking. Ugh.

     Jake stands up and invites me to follow him. I walk to towards the door, watching Jake in front of me. He takes me to a trail.
      "Hiking?" I comment.
      "Hiking." He says nodding. I groan and follow him up the trail. It's along with a mountain.

      "So, whats going on?" He asks.
      "What?" I asl.
      "What happened to you?" He questions.
      "What do you mean?" I retort.
      "You used to be so much fun. Now you're a mood killer. The whole airplane ride you were so serious. This morning, you were dragging your feet. You didn't even act like you wanted to spend time with me. You've laughed, maybe twice, this whole trip. You haven't even cracked a joke. The Ruby I knew would have been making fun of the situation and laughing this whole time. What happened to you?" He repeats.

      I just breathe for a second. I mean, he is right. I'm far from the same person I was just two months ago. But seeing Jake, all happy and jokingly, makes me realize that I'm not the same girl who was love struck him. I'm not the same girl who loves to crack jokes and make a fool of herself for fun. I'm just not the same person. The more I spend time with Jake, the more I realize this.
         "Jake... I can't do this anymore." I utter.
         "What?" He blurts.
         "I'm not the same person! I'm not the person you used to know. I've changed, but you haven't! You'll always be my first love, but I can't do this. You are so bright and shiny, but I'm all dark and twisted. This...this doesn't work. I'm sorry."

         I turn around and walk back. I feel my face get hot with tears. I can hear Jake yelling for me to wait. I can't face him. I pull out my phone and call Alex. He answers instantly.
        "What's up?" He asks.
       "I just chose you," I inform.
       "Over Jake?" He questions.
       "Yeah... Can I meet you somewhere?"
       "Of course, you chose me? What happened?" He asks.
"Just meet me at that smoothie place. I'll explain." I say, not mentioning the part of my identity crisis yet.

I meet him outside the smoothie place. His kind eyes scan me, wondering. I feel an invisible pull towards him. I just lean until I'm in his arms. I sob and explain. I tell all about how I'm not the same person and how I wish I could just stay on this island forever. I don't want to go home. I can't.
"Who says you have to go back home?" He asks.
"Huh?" I blurt.
"I don't think your dad will miss you much. Live with me. Go to school the rest of the year and graduate. You only have like 3 months. Then, we'll go somewhere. I'll finally get my associates and we can go to a real college somewhere far, far from Essie." He says.
"You'd do that?" I ask.
"Of course. I don't have any family either. You are my family now." He confesses.

"I don't think so." I hear from behind me. Jake. Jake just heard all of that.