I apologize for any wrong spellings or grammatical mistake! I'll fix em' sooner or later!

Hush, Howl

Sapphire

           I sat upright from my bed with sweat trickling down my forehead. A trail of tears ran down my cheeks so I wiped it off. Hastily removing the cover off me, I lifted my feet off the bed and stood up. I entered the bathroom, flipping the lights on while running in front of the mirror. My heart was thrumming erratically inside my chest and if I don’t do anything to regulate its beating, it may soon explode.

           I clamped my hands on either side of the sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was tousled like a bird’s nest and my eyes were puffy from crying. There are many events to look out for today and tomorrow . . . there are many things that needed to be done. I can never say that I’ve gotten over my parents’ death because until now, I cannot manage to speak. The doctor had stated something about ‘something’ triggering all my emotions to be out . . . but I didn’t get what he was saying.

           He said he can compare me to a bomb that hasn’t exploded yet . . . but when lit with a fire . . . it will cause it to explode. So if I’m getting it all correct, my voice can be compared to a bomb . . . a source of energy that had been bottled up. The question is, who or what will the fire be that’ll cause me to release all the energy I have . . .. and explode? If that actually makes sense.

           I don’t know, it is only getting me more confused.

           Shaking away the thoughts, I pushed down the taps and allowed the water to whoosh down. I cupped my hands together and splashed some water on my face. The water was warm and very refreshing. I think this would call for a bath.

           After rinsing off and dressing up into a neat pair of clothes for the day, I noticed that I’ve taken at least forty minutes in taking a bath. I just can’t help it. The water felt warm . . . and I can’t seem to leave it until my skin wrinkled from so much exposure to water. It felt really relaxing and it helped calm down my nerves.

           Glancing once more at the clock, the hands were ticking six o’clock in the morning.

           I trudged towards the kitchen after packing up my book bag and taking hold of my flute. I spotted Aunt Farris cooking up some of her best homemade pancakes alongside with bacon and egg. She was surprised to find me walking into the kitchen early in the morning when I usually go straight into the woods after my morning routine. I just smiled at her and grabbed a Tupperware and a couple of her finished products then covered it with the lid.

           Aunt Farris looked at me suspiciously while I flashed her a sheepish grin then bolted out of the door with my flute and the Tupperware in hand. Actually, I don’t think that having breakfast with my cousin and aunt is a good idea.

           When I eat the bacon that Aunt Farris cooks . . . it tastes exactly like my mother’s and by the dream I had this morning, I know I’m going to tear up. It’s just way too much emotional and I don’t want to see my only relatives to see me this way again. They’ll only bring me to another doctor.

           After arriving to my usual spot as always, I sat down the stump and placed the Tupperware beside me. Lifting the flute in front of my mouth, I started blowing through the lip plate. I allowed my fingers to travel through the right places and my music started flowing in the air. I know the song was ‘Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant’ and it was totally relating. Closing my eyes, I started to feel it.

{A/N This song totally fits the in the story! I always knew this song because I heard it so often! So, when I found the lyrics on the net! I figured it fits perfectly in the story! Beside the story is the flute version.}

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

           By this time I heard some rustling noises and I opened to see that it was Darwin. He sauntered towards me with the same aura and sat on the forest floor just beside my leg. He was waggling his tail beside him while sticking his tongue with heavy pants. He looked like the usual puppy but bigger. Stifling a small smile, I focused back on what I was playing, closing my eyes once more.

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

           Hearing something tapping beside me, I reopened my eyes again to spot Darwin licking the Tupperware beside me. He seemed to smell the bacon and he looks hungry. Damn, he’s a total distraction—but a funny distraction. He whimpered when he failed to open the container and gave up eventually, figuring that I might give him some after I finished playing.

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

           By this time, I looked at Darwin beside me. He was listening intently to the music and perked his ears up. He looked as if he was recognizing it. The flash of familiarity was glinting within his eyes. His big silver eyes were deviant . . . but I think I’ve seen it from somewhere—I just can’t put a finger on it.

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

           I finished the song with a soft note and then turned to look at Darwin. I glanced down at my wrist watch to check the time. I still got about fifteen minutes before I need to get back to the house, so I think I can stay here. Aunt Farris wakes up early in the morning to prepare something to eat. Usually, when she’s away on a business trip or something, I’ll cook breakfast. But she always does it when she’s home. She said it’s the least she can do.

           Looking at him, I spotted that he was looking at me intently.

           Sighing, I sauntered stood up and reached for his face. He seemed to be very tame to me and friendly, too. He must be confused why I am not speaking to him. He always comes when I play my flute. I’m guessing that he might’ve liked me playing.

           Petting his head, he growled low under my fingers and turned his head to look at the container which holds the bacon I brought. Laughing quietly, I reached for it and pulled the lid open. Pulling out some bacon, I extended my hand for him and he took it all into his mouth with no hesitation—almost biting off my hand in the process.

           Wow, he must really be hungry.

           Shaking my head quietly, I folded that pancakes and bit into it. I finished my food in no time and I fed all the bacon to Darwin. I didn’t feel bad feeding him all the bacon. Besides, I cannot handle the taste because of the memory. Aunt Farris was my mother’s sister. Therefore, they share the same secrets and skills on cooking in the kitchen.

           He nudged my hand for more but seeming that the container was already empty, I held it up in the air and showed him the empty Tupperware. He whimpered, but instead, started licking his paws. I sighed quietly while beginning to rake my hands through his soft fur. Darwin can be considered a best friend already. Though we can’t communicate with each other normally—is talking to a wolf even normal?—he accompanied me about three times already. He was always there when I needed someone to cry with. Especially Rosy wasn’t there to be with me.

           Thinking that somehow or maybe he could understand me, I raised my hands in the air while he looked up at me with curiosity and waved my sign language in the air. “You’ve been a really good friend.” I told him. “If you can understand me, I called you Darwin. Because I think you’re a sweet wolf.”  I added.

           I think I looked stupid doing the sign language in front of the wolf . . . it isn’t like he could understand me, right? Well, there is nothing left to lose! “How come you are so tame?” I asked, and then remembered my mother’s words.

           My hands flew instinctively to the necklace I have around my neck. I never really took it off since that day of the car accident. Rusts can’t grow on it because it was made of pure gold . . . so I wear it in baths.

           Forcing myself not to cry again, I patted the wolf’s head and grabbed the container that I absentmindedly placed beside me. Standing up, I glanced at my watch. “Well, it’s nice meeting you again, Darwin. I think I’ll see you tomorrow. Rosy’s probably waiting for me back home." My sentence was long and my hands grew tired after I finished.

           He stifled a small bark and nudged me back towards the direction that I came from. Obliging his gestures, he barked at me one last time and jerked his paws in the air as if to say goodbye. Cocking my brows with confusion, I reluctantly waved my fingers back at him. Seeming that he got the gesture, he stood on all of his four legs and ran back into the woods.

           Uh…Bye?