Hush, Howl  

Sapphire

I sat down my favorite spot under the tree like I did before and flipped open the book to my bookmarked page. I allowed my eyes to scan over the words, ignoring the noisy crowd that was walking across the grounds, enjoying their lunch. Remaining focused on the storyline, I still can’t seem to pay much attention because my mind kept drifting to him.

           Hearing some grass rustling beside me, I looked beside me and found Darren staring down at me with pleading eyes. I exhaled loudly with frustration. I felt guilt slice through me at the image of his eyes. They were kind of sad.

           I slapped myself mentally. What's happening to me? Can’t a person have some space?

         “Hey, um, sorry if I’d been stubborn from the last few hours.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s just . . . I want to tell you--I just want a real friend.” His voice grew fainter at the end and he allowed his hands to drop beside him. “It’s just because . . . ” he sighed. “Okay, I’m tired of hanging out with those good-for-nothing jocks and fake, preppy cheerleaders. I want a real companion who wouldn’t mind how I act or how I move. All my life, I felt… trap. This year, I want to be free.” He paused as he looked at me directly in the eye. “And I thought that you would be a good start.”

         I must admit--his choice of words touched me. I do understand the feeling of being trapped. Though I’m in a complete different position. There is something I feel inside me that wanted to break free. Since that day my parents died, there was a huge crack in my heart that felt empty—a void that somehow made me feel like it needed to be filled up with a missing piece once more.

         “Look,” he paused. “I’m sorry if I’ve been very persistent. But if you don’t want me around. I won’t bother you anymore.” His voice kind of broke in the end and his head dropped with sadness. He began to turn and walk away, but it took me a couple of seconds before my mind registered what he said.

         Without even thinking, my hands flew without my consent and grabbed his. Sparks erupted once more and it traveled down my spine, making me shiver at the sensation. I can say he felt it too, because goose bumps rose on his skin. He stopped and looked back at me with confusion while a smile just broke onto my lips.

         Maybe I could give him a chance. He isn’t the boy that I expected to be. That type of jock that does nothing but make fun of those people that are lower than him. He’s different . . . but unfathomable. Perhaps I allowed my instincts to take over. I shouldn't have judged him. 

         I gently dragged him back and pulled him down to take the seat next to me. “Are you sure? I just thought you’d need some space.” He told me with hesitance in his voice.

         I nodded my head and smiled at him in response.

         We sat there in awkward silence. He gazed out into space while I resumed reading my book. My focus was on him, alright. I was examining him with the corner of my eye.

         There was something about him. I just don't know what it is.

         “So what were you doing in the cafeteria lately?” He asked, breaking the silence.

           Thinking that maybe he was referring to my sign language, I grabbed my backpack and zipped it open.

         Pulling out the paper I was looking for, I handed it to him. He took it in his hands and scanned over the illustrations. His brows puckered on his forehead while his gaze lingered on the pictures. “Sign language?” He looked at me with confusion and I nodded. “Could you teach me this?”

         I tapped the paper in his hands and shoved it gently on his chest, he looked shocked. “This is mine?” I nodded.

         I saved it there for different purposes. But I refused to take it out of my backpack. I might need it in some circumstances.

         I then pointed at the letter ‘A’ and curled down my fingers with my thumb placed outside my fist.

         He studied my moves and bobbed his head up and down in understanding. “So that’s A?”

         I nodded in response.

         He smirked while he raised his hand and began following the illustrations printed on the paper. “I could get used to this.” He laughed, which I matched with my soundless giggles.

~~~

           The day flew by in a flash. Darren was a fun companion. Although with him on our side, there were a lot of events that occurred in a matter of few hours. This time, Caitlin happened to bring her ‘friends’ to persuade Darren on leaving mine and Rosy’s side. They even threatened him from being disqualified from the football squad if he doesn’t. But then, it shocked us when he stood up for me and Rosy. The threat brought no intimidation to him and he even warned them of losing the next game if he quits.

         We happen to be walking through the hallway. It was a bit awkward, but Rosy insisted on showing him around. He only knew the gymnasium, and a few classrooms but he didn't know the whole campus.

         "Hey, peeps." Caitlin rounded up from the corner with a few of her friends. I noticed she re-touched her makeup and she was also wearing new clothes—barely.

         "Caitlin," Darren said in a low voice.

        “I’m giving you one last chance, Darren. Are you going to choose our side, or their side?” Her voice had the hint of a mocking challenge. “If you choose their side, you’ll have to face the consequences of being removed from the football team. You’ll even lose your popularity.” She added.

        I looked at Rosy with sad eyes and then at Darren, who had plastered nothing on his face. I nudged him towards their direction, seeing Caitlin smile at the corner of my eyes. As I tried pushing him, he remained in that position—hard as steel.

        “Is that all you can say, Caitlin?” His voice was low. “I’m not going to get any problem with it really. In fact, if you remove me I don’t mind at all. I’m not the one going to lose the next game.”

        Caitlin’s lips opened to protest, but seeming she has nothing to say, her face gone red. She clenched her fists on either side of her and stomped away.

        Her companions followed her. Someone was even shouting her name after her. As they all left, a boy with brown hair and green eyes stood all alone.

        “Uh, I don’t know what to do.” He scratched his neck. 

         In the end, Caitlin and the others were forced to leave us alone.

           Rosy and I were so happy about having peace for the first time of our school life. Rosy was glad that she isn’t being forced on doing other’s homework with a threat of another incoming prank. I, on the other hand, received no bullies for the day.

         Though as always, happiness is limited on our side. If Darren leaves, then everything will go back the way it had been before.

          As much as I hated from depending on other people . . . with Darren it felt, somehow, natural. He was natural.

         He even learnt fast on the sign language part and he started to understand the conversation between me and Rosy if I was doing it slow. But when I speed up my actions, he can’t catch up.

          Darren introduced us to his real, childhood best-friend Daniel. Apparently, he was the boy from a while ago who did not know what to do.

         And there was a sudden, unexpected chemistry that happened between him and Rosy.

         It was shocking.

         When we got home, Rosy can’t stop blabbering how excited she is of meeting Daniel tomorrow. What I hated the most about my cousin is how hopeless romantic she is. She secretly adores boys which she only shares with me—just because I can’t tell it to anybody else with my situation.

         When I was just finishing the last bits of my project for Chemistry, I immediately hopped on my bed and flipped open the book I was reading. Though I can’t really pay much attention to what the characters were saying because my mind always wanders all around how tomorrow would go. What if Darren all of a sudden leaves our side?

           Seeming that I could not get any far to what I was reading, I shut it close and placed it on the nightstand beside me. Flipping off my lampshade, I hopped under my covers and closed my eyes.

           Come to think of it . . . Darren’s not what I expected for him to be.

           Oh, damn it Sapphire! Stop thinking about him and get some sleep.

~~~

           Tears flooded from my eyes and continuously strolled down on their tracks. I nudged my mother’s arm carefully, prodding her to wake up. I was desperate . . . no matter how hard I tried her eyes won’t open.

         I looked at my father on the other side of the car and allowed my eyes to linger on the wounds that marked his skin. I was too focused about the thought of getting them to wake up that I did not notice the car clinging onto the dead-end of the cliff.

         Even before I knew it, the car slipped with my parents inside and fell into the hollow depths. I yelled into the top of my lungs as the car crashed among the steep slopes of the rocky side before finally exploding. The loud sound echoed and vibrated in my ears followed with a loud gush of air. I dropped on my knees and cried. I did nothing but cry.

           “Noooo!” I bawled, as pieces of the car flew in the air with a trailing black smoke behind. Fire erupted inside the car and flamed in the air with victory.

         I held out my hands and prepared to jump off the cliff when all of a sudden two big hands grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back. “Let me go!” I screamed. “My momma and papa are in the car! I need to save them! I need to help and save them!” I kept repeating those words until my voice broke in the end and I sobbed.

         "It's okay, darling. Everything will be alright."  

         That is when everything went black.

         My voice did not help at all. In fact, if I haven’t even joined that singing contest, it wouldn’t happen at all. My voice did not help . . . it even worsened my life. It took my parents away from me . . . my family.

           My hair was tousled and messy, my dress was covered in grime and dirt. My hands are stained with the mark of my mother’s blood. The sight of me is horrible. I can't even dare to look at myself.

           When I woke up, I was lying on a hospital bed with an IV attached to my left hand. I was wearing a hospital dress with a bandage wrapped around my head. All of my wounds were dressed and I have been washed clean.

           My vision was blurry but I can hear shuffling noises beside me. When my sight cleared, I saw my Aunt and Rosy standing before me with sad smiles.

           The memory of the accident rushed back to my memory and I started crying again. My aunt and my cousin rushed beside me, offering me their comfort.

           “It’s okay, honey. Don’t cry.” My aunt told me. Although the tears continued to rush down my face.

           I did not say anything to them, I was too busy crying.

           A doctor came up and examined me. He kept asking me questions but I wouldn’t speak or answer. I heard him stating something about me suffering a severe trauma. It is really hard to accept when your parents died in front of your eyes.

         That’s when the curse of silence took over me.

         I was repeatedly taken back to the hospital after I was released from my confinement. I still refused to talk to anyone and just sat by the window the whole day, staring out into the wilderness.

          “Sapphire, darling? Talk to auntie, please?” I heard her plea.

          I remained in my trance, blocking out the whole world as if it was nonexistent. I was looking at the skies with the cloudy swirls painted on it. My mother told me if they are gone, they will always go to the sky and watch over me. I silently pleaded for them to come back.

          “Saffy? Do you want to play dolls with me?” I turned and looked at Rosy, she was holding out two beautiful Barbie dolls with elegant and colorful dresses. The other one was Ariel with her fiery, red hair and the other was Cinderella.

          Ariel was someone who had her voice taken away because of her desperation to see her beloved prince. I always loved her because we had the same hair-color. And we both had beautiful voice. Cinderella, on the other hand, was abused and maltreated but was able to meet a happily-ever-after because of the kindness she had in her heart.

           I shook my head at her, feeling the loss of interest. 

           And many people are teasing and bullying you because you can’t speak . . . because you cannot talk back to them to defend yourself. They did not know anything about how it feels to lose your parents and see them die in front of your eyes!

          I was a good child. I obeyed everything they say. I did not do anything to deserve this and neither did my parents.

           Those people don’t know how it feels . . .

           Those people do not understand . . .

           Just because they did not experience any tragic event to happen in their life . . .

           Is it my fault that I use the flute to pour my emotion?

           Or are they that naïve to consider it something that I do to be accepted?

           I do not want to be a part of anything.

           I just want to live a normal life of an average girl.

           And there they are . . . they judge everything without earning enough investigations or proving it to themselves.

Ok! I must admit I almost cried. Remember people... TIME IS GOLD. You never know how much time yo have in the phase of the Earth. That's just the message of the day. Yeah, I'm getting a bit cheesy but yeah . . . have fun!