She couldn't put a time frame to how long she was sitting on the steps, huddled into her sweater and trying to ignore the biting wind, but at some point, she caught a bit of movement and color out of the corner of her eye and turned in that direction, spying a familiar figure just down the way, who just happened to be heading straight toward her.

Her first instinct was to get up and get back into the house, but her mom was probably still in the kitchen and she just couldn't bear the thought of facing Ella right then. So, she sat and waited for that tall figure to make his way up to her, figuring it was probably best to tell him, head on, to take a hike.

Julian finally reached her and she abruptly found herself having to brace against the sight of him, which struck her with such a mix of sensations that she was torn between wanting to throw herself into his arms...and wanting to turn tail and run away from him as fast as her legs could carry her.

She didn't do either of those things, though, because as soon as her gaze locked with his, she saw the shadows and the...stark emotion...rolling through his eyes and so startling was it, seeing something where usually there was nothing, that she was suddenly up on her feet. "What's wrong? Wh-what's happened?" she rasped, her mind flashing over all the horrid possibilities...

Julian's brows shot upwards, as if her words caught him off guard. "I-I...you weren't answering your phone. I...I came by to talk to you."

Clydie stared at him, feeling herself hardening. "You were following me last night, weren't you?" she stated, not bothering with beating around the bush.

Julian raked a hand through his hair. "I...I was following you," he confessed.

Hearing him admit to it...she almost wished he'd denied it. "Why? You know that's not okay."

"I know that. I know its not normal for me to be tailing you through the streets," he breathed, sounding disgusted with himself. "I know it makes me seem like some kind of..."

"Creep," she offered.

"Yeah. It makes me seem like a creep," he agreed.

"Then why'd you do it?" she asked again, despite knowing that she shouldn't be standing there, giving him a chance to explain.

Julian looked at her for a moment, his expression hard and his jaw working. "I wish there was a clear cut answer for that, but...I can't give you one. I should have been at home, doing my job! But, I was so worried about you that I...I couldn't just sit there! I mean...with everything you're going through...and you're always so afraid...I couldn't just sit there and do nothing!"

Confusion struck Clydie, but before she could speak, Julian pressed onward.

"When I met you, I knew I was in trouble. I knew I should have walked away then and there, but I...I couldn't. And now I've been reduced to skulking through alleyways like some old cur dog!" he growled, his expression wrought.

"But, you didn't have to follow me. That was a little dramatic, don't you think?" she asked him plainly. "You could have just told me that you wanted to come to the movie thing. I wouldn't have said no to you."

Julian went still, his face going slack for a brief instant. "I-I didn't want to seem like I'm tryin' to smother you. And I do have a job to see to..."

"Then why didn't you just come up to me at the park, since you were obviously already there?" she wondered, at a loss as to Julian Donovan's thought process. "Now, I can't help but think that you're—"

"A stalker? A degenerate sleaze?" Julian put in roughly.

She lifted a shoulder. That rather summed it up.

"Clydie, I...I just want you to trust me. Everything's fer nothing if you don't trust me," he said with a measure of defeat.

"I was starting to trust you," she told him honestly. "I...I wanted to trust you, but after last night, I just don't know if I should. Knowing that you followed me...it scared me."

Julian flinched as if something had struck him and the next instant, he was reaching for her shoulders and bending down so that he could look her in the eye. "Oh god, Clydie, please...I don't want you to ever be afraid of me! I know I'm not...handling this the right way, but I'd never do anything to hurt you or make you hate me. I need you to believe that!"

"I want to believe you," she said, feeling the truth in her words.

But, no matter how hard Julian tried to rationalize it...he'd still followed her.

"Then do," Julian urged. "Please, Clydie. Let me prove to you that you can trust me. I won't fuck up again."

Clydie regarded Julian Donovan for a lengthy moment, wondering if he really meant that he wouldn't fuck up again....or if he meant that he wouldn't get caught fucking up again. But, either which way, what on earth did she have to lose? Especially considering that she was probably going to wind up locked down in the nearest hospital, or locked up in the nearest jail cell, despite Sheriff's Benton's assurances, so she might as well forgive and forget and live while she could.

And with that probably too easily decided, she took a step forward, wrapped her arms around Julian's waist, and laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes and breathing in his heady scent. After a stalled second, Julian released his grip on her shoulders and wrapped his own arms tightly around her, dropping a few kisses onto the top of her head.

"Clydie," he breathed her name on a sigh. "I'm so sorry."

She nodded, allowing herself to simply feel the way he was holding her, to feel how secure his arms were and how steady his heartbeat.

"This life...it eats away at me at times," he whispered, kissing her hair a few more times. "It makes it hard to feel anything, for anybody. But, you...I look at you and I can't stop feeling."

How difficult could the life of an IT guy be? Surely, not difficult enough to eat away at him? But, that very odd statement aside, she did sympathize. Sometimes, life was just...horrid. And maybe having someone there, to help bear some of it, could make it feel a little bit less horrid.

"Is your mama waiting for you to get back to work?" Julian suddenly asked.

"No. Why?" she replied into his shirtfront.

"Well, she's looking down from the kitchen window," Julian pointed out. "And I don't want to cause trouble for you by keeping you hanging around out here."

"We're not working right now. We're waiting for my dad to bring Matt back," she said, guilt suddenly slamming into her as she remembered where her friend was being held.

And here she was with Julian...not suffering in solidarity the way she should have been.

"Where is your dad bringing Matt back from?" Julian asked, curious.

"Jail."

Julian stiffened beneath her, taking a step back so that he could look down at her. "Jail? What in hell is he doing in jail?"

Clydie quickly explained the news she had awakened to that morning, though she decided to leave it at that. Telling Julian about the pill bottles and the things the sheriff had said to her would only cause him more distress and at the moment, he didn't seem to need anything that might add to discomposure.

"Well, by damn," he said once she'd finished. "I'll have to shake Matty's hand when I see him."

"I feel like that might encourage him," she pointed out.

Julian lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile. "Probably. But, his heart was in the right place. I mean, I'd have done the same thing if him and his buddies hadn't stepped in."

Those words sparked a reminder for her. "Julian, thank you for helping me last night. I...I wish you hadn't tried to beat Brody Hyatt to death, but still...thank you."

"Don't thank me, Clydie. Looking after you now is...is just what I do," Julian told her.

With that statement hanging between them, Clydie could only think of one way to reply. And that was to step up to Julian and press her mouth firmly against his. And he returned her gesture, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her...as if he meant it. But, just as the heat began building low in her belly, he straightened up and loosened his grip on her.

"Clydie, love, are we alright?" he asked, his voice low and gruff.

We? Were they a...we? "Yeah. Everything's alright."

"Good," he breathed, pressing his mouth to her forehead. "I really hate to go right now, but do you mind if I run back home for a while? I've got some work to take care of. But, I'll be back later."

"I don't mind. Go do what you have to do," she told him.

And after another rather fervent kiss, Julian turned and strode away down the sand. As he left, she sat back down on the steps and turned her focus toward the harbor...trying to feel what she thought she should be feeling, considering that she'd just made up—and possibly inadvertently cemented some sort of a relationship—with Julian. But, the only thing she could truly feel was bleak and grim and uneasy.

That unease that was always there with her, always hovering just on the outskirts of her awareness, seemed to be increasing exponentially as the day wore on. There was a heaviness pressing down on her shoulders...and a tightness, a nervousness, in her stomach that filled her with a sense of dark anticipation, as if she knew there was something terrible looming in the minutes or the hours ahead of her.

She didn't want that dread filling her or that weight pushing on her. So much terrible stuff had happened, she wasn't sure she could take anything else coming at her. She already felt worn out and run down and...mentally wiped out. Having to deal with even one more thing might just push her over the edge.

Since moving to Cedar Cove, she felt like she hadn't had a moment's peace. Things were so upended and unsettled and...dire...that she couldn't have a moment just to be comfortable. Her life back in Summerville had been difficult, but at least there were times when she was comfortable and at ease. And at least back there she'd only had one dead person to deal with. And there certainly hadn't been a sheriff harassing her or an angry, grief stricken family coming after her at every turn.

Dear god, what she wouldn't give to wake up as a completely different person. Or, come to that, what she wouldn't give to go back to that horrible day... If she could go back, she would change...everything. Just...everything. Including the course of her own life.

"Clydie," the deep voice sounded out from behind her and she was suddenly on her feet and rushing up the stairs.

Without pausing, she threw herself at Matt, who caught her in his arms and crushed her against his chest, pushing a choked sob out of her as she buried her face against his shoulder.

"Its okay, Clydie. Everything's okay," Matt said roughly and she couldn't stop another sob from escaping her.

Nothing was okay. Absolutely nothing was okay...

Matt held her close for a few minutes before dropping a kiss onto the top of her head and leaning back to look down at her. As she caught sight of him, a sharp gasp flew out of her. "Matt!"

"Its okay. It looks worse than it actually is," he said with just a touch of remorse.

Taking in the bruise beneath his slightly swollen left eye, the bloody scrape along his right jaw, and the gash above his right brow, it was clear that Brody Hyatt hadn't gone down without a fight. A surge of anger flared up inside her chest and Clydie pushed away from him, really wanting to clock him, but since his face already looked bad enough, she took a quick swipe at his shoulder, landing a blow that was hard enough to radiate up along her arm.

"Ouch! What was that for!" Matt asked, looking wounded.

"That was for being a complete dumb ass!" she shot at him. "What the hell were you thinking! Do you know how much trouble you could have been in!"

"I was thinking that Brody needed to have his ass kicked! So, I kicked it!" Matt defended himself, rubbing his shoulder.

"Matt, he's in the hospital! You did not need to do that to him!" she growled, taking another swipe and hitting the opposite shoulder, despite the fact that she knew she was being something of a hypocrite.

"Ouch! I did need to do that! Brody needs to understand that he can't put his hands on a girl and get away with it!" Matt argued.

"Matt, you went to jail! You—"

"Clydie, he hurt you! Going to the county jail for a few hours was worth it!" Matt cut in. "I'm not sorry I beat the shit out of him and if I see him out someplace, I'm probably gonna do it again!"

Another gasp flew out of her and she gaped up at Matt Tanner and his scraped and bruised face, wanting to flat out strangle him with her bare hands...but at the same time, wanting to hug him really, really hard. It took her a couple of seconds of actual serious thought to decide which option to choose, but in the end, she grabbed him and gave him another hug, putting some force behind it.

"You dumb butt!" she shot at him, swept by the urge to kick him in the knee. "I did not want you to do that!"

"I had to do that. I can't let anybody get away with hurting you," Matt told her seriously.

She let out a hard breath. "Well, thank you for avenging me.  But, you're still a dumb butt."

"I know. But, I'm the dumb butt who won the fight," he stated somberly.

By the looks of him, it seemed he'd barely won the fight. "So, how pissed is your dad?"

"Not that pissed, actually. Not after he heard what Brody did to you," Matt revealed.

Well, then she needed to thank Mr. Tanner for not coming down too hard on his son. Maybe she'd take both Tanners out for a nice, edible dinner.

"I'm glad you're...mostly...okay," she said truthfully. "I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you."

"It'll take more than Brody Hyatt to knock me down," Matt assured and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Sheriff Benton almost knocked you down. He was going to level a really serious charge against you. If Shep had stepped up and told him what Brody had done, he would have," she stated firmly.

"Well, Shep doesn't have any problem with helping his guy friends. Its the women that he doesn't have much consideration for," Matt pointed out.

"Yeah, about that..."

"What?" Matt asked, regarding her with wary eyes.

"Sheriff Benton said something that might make it really hard for me to talk to Shep again," she said and then filled him in on the conversation that had taken place in the kitchen.

Once she'd finished, Matt lifted a shoulder in an off-handed way. "There's no way Shep believes that you're...psychic. I mean, probably nobody would believe that. Not really."

"I don't know. I mean...he looked kind of uneasy," she returned.

"If he's done something wrong, he might be unnerved a little, but I'll bet his pecker will outweigh his nerves when it comes right down to it," Matt opined.

"So, you think I should try to talk to him again?" she wondered, realizing that she still had her arms around his waist, so she dropped them and stepped back.

Again, Matt lifted a shoulder. "I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying that if he thinks he has a shot with you, he'll probably ignore whatever he thinks you know about him."

Matt might have a point. And she did now have the perfect excuse to talk to Shep again, since he'd spoken up to try and help Matt. So, if she had the chance, that's what she'd do. She would keep going because...she was at least half certain that Shep's presence in the house that morning had been behind Tessa Wright's sheer desperation.

"Well, your mom has some food ready in there. We should probably get back," he suggested, wincing.

Lovely. Inedible food served up with a side of denial. Who wouldn't want that.

Just as she started to take a step in the direction of the house, Matt suddenly reached out and took hold of her shoulders, stopping her short. Before she could react, he was leaning down and touching his mouth to hers...stunning her so that she couldn't do anything but stand there, frozen stiff, her mind completely blank.

When she didn't immediately push him away, Matt pulled her closer to him, so close that she was right up against him. And then he was kissing her in earnest, moving his mouth over hers in a way that had her stomach clenching and her heart skipping a few hard beats.

Kissing Matt wasn't like kissing Julian...but, it was a close second. And she found herself rather dumbfounded that Matt Tanner could kiss a girl in a way that had her body reacting within only a matter of seconds. She was also rather dumbfounded when she found herself leaning into the kiss, her hands going up to the front of his shirt, where she could feel his heart thumping beneath her fingertips.

He kept her there for a few minutes, kissing her in that steady yet slightly soft way and then he pulled back, looking down at her with furrowed brows. "Would you rather be kissing Julian?" he asked gently.

She wasn't sure how to answer that question. She certainly was feeling...something...toward Julian Donovan. But, she wasn't with Julian. She wasn't with anybody, not really. Which meant she was free to do as she pleased.

"I know you're going through some hard stuff, Clydie, and I don't want to push you into anything," he told her seriously. "I mean, you have to know how I feel about you? But, I can wait."

She nodded as he moved back from her, but then reached for her hand, pulling her up against his side and starting them both toward the house. She was struck with a slight twinge of guilt for kissing Matt after she'd only just been kissing Julian, but she shoved that guilt aside. She didn't belong to either one of them, so why should she not explore what was a clear connection with Matt?

In another life, Matt Tanner was absolutely someone she would have chosen to spend her time with. In another life... And she so wanted to get back to that other life, or at least some semblance of it.

But, since she couldn't do that, her only hope was to try and fix this life. If that was even possible...