The next day.

Taeyeon and I went to school.

She seemed quiet than ever. She barely replies to me, just nod and shake her head.

I shrugged it off and not really care about it. Maybe she's just kinda moody today.

But I get worried when she started ignoring me or more like avoiding me. I had a bad feeling about it. I hope it's just nothing and I'm just thinking too much.

Then someone put an arm around my shoulders and I startled a bit.

"Hey biatch, what's up? Where's your girlfriend huh?" It's Yuri. I rolled my eyes.

"What? Did she reject you?" Yuri asked then I glared at her.

"She's my girlfriend," I confidently said.

Yuri pulled her arm away from me and over reacted "Whoaaa, seriously? You got yourself a girlfriend biatch?" She teased.

I scowled "Bitch," yay! It slipped.

Yuri laughed "Easy. I'm just teasing you Tiffany. So, when can I meet your girlfriend huh?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

I sighed. I don't know but I feel like Taeyeon's avoiding me. It made my mood down. 

"What? You don't want? Are you afraid that she might like me?" Yuri smirked playfully.

"I don't know Yul, she's kinda avoiding me. I feel like there's something wrong," I explained.

"That's fast, LQ? Well if you think there's a problem, you should talk to her and ask her. Simple, don't complicate things biatch," Yuri advised as she patted my shoulder.

I nodded "You're right-"

"Of course I'm right, always am," Yuri cockily said.

I tried not to but still, I rolled my eyes "Biatch."

"You love me I know that," she winked.

"You wish," but yeah, I love this biatch. She's my best friend.

"Aisshh... fine. Go find your girlfriend," she slightly pushed my back.

"Talk to her and clear things to her," Yuri shooed me.

"Thank you biatch, see you later!"

Yuri just gave me a dismissive wave then walked opposite my way.

I smiled, I'm lucky to have a friend like Yul. Even if she's kinda bratt, I know that she loves me too.

The day passed by easily and I confirmed that Taeyeon was avoiding me. She didn't sit next to me and she never looks at me.

Something's up to her, this made me eager to converse with her.

After our last class together, I quickly dragged her to the rooftop. She kept her head down and never bother to look at me.

"Taeyeon, what's the matter?"

Taeyeon didn't say anything as my heart was pounding to its limit.

"Is there something wrong? Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?" I shot questions and it sounded begging for answers. I need to know, it's killing me inside.

"Please Taeyeon..." I don't know but my tears began to form at the side of my eyes.

Taeyeon sighed then slowly looked at me, in split second I saw her eyes softened but it changed to blank.

"I'm sorry," she gestured.

"I'm not mad Taeyeon, I'm just confused with your actions," I hurriedly replied. Why was she apologizing? I just want to talk to her and I'm not mad, I just need answers for why she's doing this.

Taeyeon shook her head "I'm sorry but it's not what I mean." 

Then what was it for? My eyebrows snapped together in confusion "What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore," she didn't even look me in the eyes. What? She couldn't bear to look at me.

"W-what?" My voice was broken and I felt my stomach tightened.

"I'm sorry but I'm not a lesbian. I thought I like you but only as a friend. I'm not your girlfriend, I still haven't answered to it... But now, my answer is no." Taeyeon apologetically looked at me.

I felt tears were streaming down my cheeks "No? You said we're dating and- and you keep leading me on!" I shouted madly but I'm not mad at her. I can't, I'm just confused and hurt with the situation.

It hasn't fully sunk in yet.

"That's why I'm sorry-"

"I don't need your fvcking sorry! So what now? What do you want? You want me out of your life just like this? Huh?" I asked rudely. I couldn't control my emotions.

"You don't like a leabian like me around you because you're fvcking straight? Am I disgusting? Are you afraid that I might infect you? Fvcking answer me!" I know I'm kinda rude but this is her effect to me. She's driving me nuts.

"I'm really sorry but I think it's best for us to go separate ways."

"Is that what you really want?" I asked pleading.

Taeyeon slowly nodded "Thank you for everything. Good bye," she was about to leave but I held her arm and pinned her to the wall.

"You want to get rid of me that easily? Huh?" I put my knee between her legs. "Why? Why this happened so fast? You're different now."

Taeyeon shook her head "D, y, k, e. I'm not like that. I can't take it. I feel dirty being with you. I'm uncomfortable when you're around me."

Every word was like a bullet that shot straight to my heart.

"You're a very kind girl but please stop this. This is wrong, I'm sorry." I gave a short, mirthless laugh.

"You're right. This is wrong! Wrong that I fell in love with you! You gave me hope, happiness and feelings that I can't explain but with just a snap, you take it all away. You're selfish saying to my face that you immediately want me out of your fvcking life! You're unfair Taeyeon... What do you think of me? A toy? And you will just dump like this! Fvck!" I cried, sobbed like an idiot.

I should be mad at her but I can't because I know it's not her fault not to love me back.

It's actually my fault because I assumed that she loves me. I'm so pathetic! An absolutely idiotic fool!

"I want you to stay away from me, I'm sorry," and with that I lost my control.

I positioned my knee up to her sensitive bottom and grinded it. Taeyeon tried to push me but I didn't budge. 

I'm stronger than her.

I forcefully placed my lips to her and kissed her aggressively. The kiss was rough, uncomfortable.

Taeyeon was fighting back but she couldn't move from my grip. I know, I'm hurting her with this but I don't know why I'm doing this either.

Knowing that she wants me out of her life makes me scared. I want to stay in her life, I don't want to go away. Just thinking of that makes me miss her so much.

And there's something happened that made me weak.

"P-please..." I stopped kissing her.

We both stopped moving.

I stared at Taeyeon, shocked and confused. She was already crying and she looked frightened.

"Taeyeon..." I softly said.

"P-please... d-don't do t-this Tiffany..." Taeyeon stammered. She talked! Oh god. I heard her angelic voice even if it's like a whisper.

"Y-you speak..." I managed to say.

Taeyeon shook her head and she's also shocked like me. She couldn't believe it, she was trembling.

I let her go and pulled myself away. Shit! I made her talk in this rude way! 

You're so bad! Fuck you Tiffany. I shouldn't have let my emotions took over me.

"I-I'm sorry Taeyeon... fuck... I'm sorry... If- if you really don't wanna see me, I will do it for you. I'm so sorry," I wiped my tears harsly. "Good bye," I quickly walked away.

I'm feel ashamed for what I did, Taeyeon doesn't deserve that kind of action. What did I try to do? Force her? Take advantage of her? I can't forget her reaction, I feel so bad.

And this one thing that will haunt me for the rest of my life, I made her talk because she was terrified. 

Oh gosh, I feel like a monster.

This is the end for us.

I will not bother her anymore and I can't face her again, I feel so guilty.

I have to give up because this is what she wants.

I fucked up, I deserve not to be happy.

*****