I went home after the incident at the rooftop, I didn't go to my afternoon classes because I feel so empty. I can't focus on anything, my mind was completely blank and the only thing I want to do is be alone.

Now I feel like my heart broken, I can feel like it's the end of everything. No amount of pain I've ever felt so unbearable or concentrated, it's like a huge hole was pummeled into my chest with no hope of repair.

And this heartbreak is worst than a fvcking breakup.

I feel down thinking what's wrong with me? Am I ugly? Am I not enough for her? Is it really disgusting being myself? Why do I need to be always compared with that word? Lesbian.

And she viciously said that I'm a jerk right on my face because I'm listening to what my heart wants. Perhaps, I'm really selfish because I do what it says. Is it wrong to be happy? Should I change my perspective?

I was in my room, all I could see was dark. I didn't care to turn on the lights. My tears were already dried on my face but I still feel like crying. Physically, I'm weak like someone punched me in my stomach and all of the air got out of me. It's overwhelming, as if my whole body were abruptly in Rigamortis.

I know, I'm exaggerating things but it's all I could feel and think of. Why do I need to suffer like this? We just met yesterday but she left me with massive pain in my heart.

Still, I'm not mad at her. 

I can't force her to like me. And it's my fault to have false hope, she didn't say that she like me so why did I assume that she does?

All of the lights in my apartment turned on, I squinted my eyes because the lights dazzled me. Wth? The door was opened and someone barged in. 

Guess who?

Of course none other than my biatch, Kwon Yuri. I scowled looking at her, she's disturbing my little sanctuary.

Yuri pinched the bridge of her nose then stared skeptically at me "What the fvck Tiffany? You look ridiculous!" She commented.

I just shrugged.

"Why did you skip classes huh? This is so not you. What's the problem biatch?"

I didn't answer but my tears threatened to fall, Yuri gave me a concern look then she sat on my bed.

"Tell me? What happened? Is it the barista girl?" How did she know that? I wonder if she could read my mind. I nodded in reply.

"What did she do? Tell me everything," she demanded.

"I-I asked her on a date but she rejected me. Sh-she don't like me Yul, I'm so hurt," I said with my throaty voice. I was like a child snitching her to my mother.

Yuri shook her head "Is that the reason why you're acting like this shit? I thought there's something wrong like your pet died or whatever," I glared at her. I have a pet named Prince, he's in Cali.

She rolled her eyes "I will accept that reason biatch. But with what you said? She just rejected you, you know, you just met when? Yesterday. Really Tiffany?? Yesterday and it looks like your world will end, are you serious? Or this is just a prank? Where's the camera?"

"I don't know," it's all I can say because even myself don't know what's happening to me.

"You're such a newbie biatch, yes, she rejected you so move on. Your life will not stop okay? There's a lot of people who's head over heels to you, gosh. Don't be stuck with that mute, weird girl, maybe she's blind too not to see your worth," she said with an attitude.

"I really like her Yul," I immediately wiped my tears that fell. It makes me sad remembering what she did.

"Move on Tiffany, come on, let's go to the club. You need to party and forget that freak!" I know she's just mad at Taeyeon because of what happened.

"I don't feel like going," I shook my head, no.

Yuri stood up and held my hand then she dragged me up. Aisshh, she's too strong for me and I slouched.

"You lazy biatch! Come on! Let's party! Move! Come on! Come on!" She yelled and it irritates me, I glared at her but she didn't care. "Move biatch! Clean your messy face and dress up!" She commanded.

"Fine," I sluggishly walked into the bathroom. I can't say no because she will just force me. I know her very well, she will not give up until I said yes so why argue for nothing?

"Good! I'll wait you in the living room! Be quick!" She yipped and I silently sighed.

In the club. 

I smelled sweats and alcohol mixed everywhere. Music was blasting all over the place. Geez, I don't like this place.

I was sitting in front of the counter, I feel tipsy already 'cuz the moment we got here I started to drown myself in alcohol.

I believe I needed this. 

I want to forget her even for just a short period of time but it was useless. She's still in my mind, in my heart.

I could still feel the pain.

I was just alone here though many people, mostly, guys approached me but I just ignored them. Yuri left me here and I guess she's dancing with the crowd. Party girl she is.

I thought this was a good idea but I feel even worse.

Taeyeon, what did you do to me? I want to be mad at you and forget you but I can't.

I can't accept the fact that she rejected me, I will never accept that she's not the one for me. I'm really stupid to think like that, I know.

I could feel her, she likes me too but what happened? All of a sudden, she changed.

A girl sat next to me, I could feel that she's staring at me but I pretended to be more interested in my shot glass as I was playing on its rim. 

"Hi," she greeted me.

I took a shot of my JD then put it down, I looked at her. I was shocked but I just put my poker face. She's pretty, pretty confident.

"What?" I asked flatly but she gave me sweet smile.

"I want to buy you a drink miss beautiful, what do you want?" she smirked.

I rolled my eyes, she reminds me of Yuri. Too much cockiness. I didn't answer her and just looked at my JD, I poured some in the shot glass.

"I guess it's a no?" She stood up then leaned closer to me "But I like it," she slid something in the pocket of my jacket "Call me," after that she left me.

I shook my head and smirked in disbelief. I will never date again, I'm not saying this because I'm drunk. And I'm not drunk... am I? But I don't think so, just a little tipsy.

"Tiffany?" Someone called me, I looked on the side then saw uninteresting shit, sorry. I want to punch him but I don't know why. Geez.

Of all people, really? Nick? Yes I'm tipsy but I'm not drunk. I said I'm not drunk! Yeah?

I gave him dismissive wave but instead of leaving me alone, he sat next to me and ordered something to the barista.

"You look so much different Tiffany," he commented.

I was grinding my teeth.

"I know, I'm wasted. Sick. Terrible. Whatever it is," I said sarcastically.

"Are you okay?" He held my shoulder, I quickly shoved his hand.

"Do I look like okay to you? With this appearance? Are you blind? And don't you dare touch me with your filthy hand!" I almost yelled at him, I couldn't handle my emotions.

"Tiffany-"

I interrupted him "Shut the fvck up! Your best friend rejected me! Are you happy now? Yeah... fine, you're right! She's not a lesbian! But even if she did that, I still like her and I will never like you! Keep that in your mind!"

Actually, I'm quite guilty for saying those words to him. I'm hurt but I still don't have rights to hurt others. I know.

"I'm sorry, just leave me alone Nick." He just reminds me of his best friend, Taeyeon.

"I guess you really like Taeyeon," he half shrugged.

"Now you finally comprehend, gosh," my jaw clenched.

"You know, I'm here to be a friend. I'm sorry Tiffany," he looked concerned.

"I just want to be alone, please," I insisted.

"Tiffany if you rejected me as a date, I will accept it but this time, I swear I want to be a friend to you," he affirmed.

I wiped my tears, shit shit shit! I didn't notice that I'm crying again. My vision became blurry because of my tears, I bit my lower lip to resist my sobs.

"It's okay to cry, I can feel you Tiffany, we're just the same," his face showed how sorry he was.

I shook my head, he's unbelievable. I don't know if he's being sincere or something.

Yuri grabbed me then hugged me, I buried my face to her shoulder. I sniffled and cried with all my heart. 

I was hysterical.

"What happened biatch?" Yuri asked petting my head.

"I wanna go home," I muttered.

"Aisshhh,"

"Please Yuri," I begged.

Yuri sighed "Okay okay, you don't have to please me. I will take you home now."

I didn't bother to look at Nick, we left the place right away.

*****