"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

- Mark Twain

~

A new beginning.

A start over again.

A life without her.

As my feet touched the ground where I came from, I smelled the fresh new chapter of my life. A fresh new start for me.

Somewhat I feel so alive being here, I feel free and there's no burden in my chest. That's a good start right?

We went home but my parents weren't there, they were on business trip as always. It's not that I'm mad, I understand them. They do everything just to make our lives better.

I don't want to complain, I have what I need and they give us what we want. Even if we barely see each other, I can still feel their love for us. They never fail to show their love that's why I can never be mad at them. They are responsible parents and I love them. 

Besides, Seolhyun is here for me. She take care of me and guide me. She helps me with everything. I'm happy because I have a sister like her.

Ever since we were young, she always protect me so I won't be hurt. She's the best sister for me.

I was in my room and Seolhyun helped me to unpack my things.

Suddenly, I recieved a text from Yuri.

"Biatch, did u receive my msg on IG? Look at the picture!"

"Shit!" I shrieked. My phone died, it was totally drained.

I rummaged my bag to look for my charger but I couldn't see it.

"Fuck," I mumbled. Where was it? I didn't know where. Geez. Sign of aging?

"I heard you Tiffany," Seolhyun yelled from my bathroom.

I pursed my lips and said "Sorry." She don't want me to say bad words. I'm not a kid anymore.

"Can I borrow your charger?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, it's in my bag! I guess," she replied.

I looked around and saw her bag on my bed. I quickly grabbed and opened it.

The first thing that I saw was a piece of paper. It was crumpled. I don't know but my heart started to pound wildy in my chest.

I just stared at it, I sensed something on it.

I slowly took and unfold it.

I gulped when I saw the writing.

It's Taeyeon's writing. My eyebrows snapped together in confusion.

How? I unconsciously sat on bed.

Wait. The dinner. I remember the dinner when I went to the restroom. They talked? Seolhyun can't understand her that's why Taeyeon wrote on this paper.

I read it in mind.

"I really like Tiffany"

"I promise I will try my best to bring back my voice"

"My father is a teacher"

"I know we're not rich"

"But my intention is good"

"Yes I don't deserve Tiffany I'm no good for her"

"I think I love her"

"Yes I understand"

I gaped at the piece of paper. It looked like Seolhyun talked to Taeyeon to leave me alone.

No, it can't be! That's absurd.

Seolhyun went out of the bathroom and looked at me confused "What?" Then she glanced to my hand as I was holding the piece of paper.

She walked to me "What happened to you?"

I stood up and showed the paper. Terror crossed her features but she managed to hide it.

"H-how..."

"What is this? So you told Taeyeon to leave me alone?" I accused.

"Tiffany it's not what you think-"

"Answer me!" I shouted.

Seolhyun skeptically looked at me because it was the first time that I shouted mad at her.

"Just answer me, please tell me the truth," I pleaded.

"Fine. Okay..." Seolhyun took a deep breath. "Yes. I asked her to break up with you. She don't deserve you Tiffany. We're not in the same class, they're poor. Besides, she's mute. I don't like her for you," she confessed.

"No... no..." I shook my head incredulously.

Now it's all clear. I remember the night before Taeyeon said that she wanted me out of her life.

That night was full of love, I can't be wrong. I felt it, she loves me.

Fuck! This is fucking shit! I really messed up! I fucked up! I didn't listen to her when she wanted to talk to me at school. I'm so stupid!

"I did it for you Tiffany. You're so blinded by love! You're wrapped around her finger! She's controlling you and you don't see it," Seolhyun commented.

I shook my head "I love her and she loves me, that all matters. I don't care about their status in life. I don't care if she's mute and to clear things, she's not mute. She just can't talk-"

"That's the same thing Tiffany! Goddamn it!"

"No it's not! She just can't talk! And you don't even know what happened to her before! But you just judged her! I fucking love her and this is my life. Why? Why did you ruin it?" I asked crying.

"Ruin? I just want the best for you!" Seolhyun raked her fingers through her hair. "What did she do to you? She's really bad for you!"

"She loves me and accept me for who I am! She gave me chance to show the world who I really am. She makes me happy and she gives me a lot of positive energy. She's my happiness but you took her away. I can't believe it Arhi... of all people. Why you? I trust you," I was shaking uncontrollably.

"Tiffany... she's not worthy. Even mom and dad will not accept her and her family. I just helped you to move on before you get hurt more. Our family will never accept them. Face it baby sis, Taeyeon doesn't belong with us," Seolhyun explained.

I didn't know this side of Seolhyun, it's new to me. What's happening? I feel like I don't know her anymore.

"If she doesn't belong with our family then I will adjust myself because I belong to her," I retorted.

"Can you hear yourself Tiffany? She changed you!" She blamed Taeyeon.

"No! It's just me. I changed myself for the better. And you Arhi, why do I feel like I don't know you anymore? This is not the sister I know, she's kind and very considerate person unlike you, you're heartless bitch now," my tears continued to escape from my eyes like an open faucet. I tried to wipe it but it's futile.

"Tiffany, I'm sorry okay? Please don't be mad at me," Seolhyun tried to hug me but I pulled away.

I shook my head "I'm not mad at you but I'm mad at myself for letting you ruin my relationship with Taeyeon. I can never get her back again because of what I did. I hurt her a lot, I deserve this. Maybe I deserve not to be happy and thanks for making me more guilty," after that I rushed out of my room without turning back even if Seolhyun was calling me. She's unbelievable!

I lost the love of my life, my happiness.

What is the sense of being alive if you're not happy anymore?

I will never be happy without her.

I always fuck up, I hurt Taeyeon and I deserve not to be happy.

*****