HE monitored attentively as the puffs of tobacco bypassed those plush lips of the elder, black-haired male, his own jaw slackened a bit as if to welcome an invisible pipe in between the brace of his teeth. The smoke was thick, white, and had an annoying yet addicting sting to its scent whenever it'd tickle his nostrils due to such a close seat near his lover.

He watched as the cloud-like clumps of air diffused into the atmosphere before them, and how the latter didn't once hesitate to replace the wood in between his lips. The sight was so intoxicating, so mesmerizing, and the most beautiful at the same time.

Watching his leman slowly and ignorantly kill himself with such deceitful drug was maybe supposed to ignite some form of concern in his well-educated head, but Peter was entranced. He was amazed by how the man could make the most sinful and dismissible acts so, compelling.

He snuggled further into the woolen coat that they had brought along to that secluded spot on his father's felid, young eyes not once leaving the unbothered expression on the other's face and, hand unable to resist the sudden urge to reach up and poke the male's cheek ever so childishly.

The man coughed lowly, eyes darting to the illegal lover at his side before glancing back up at the setting sky. "You wanna try, baby?"

"S-sure."

"Sure. I'll try," Han mumbled upon inhaling in a heavy cloud from his pipe, leg lifted to the railing of his veranda and eyes subjected to a gaze out at the open land in front. And he couldn't help the tear that slid down his cheek at the short rendition of just a part of his memory- one of the good ones, at least.

He pulled in as much tobacco as possible to be able to watch and smile as the thick smoke left his lips. It's end brought sorrow but at least just that part; that part of the memory was sweet. He closed his eyes for a brief moment to let those god-like features repaint themselves behind his eyelids.

First love. They never leave the heart, do they? Even on attempt, something or someone must word implications to trigger the memories that one had with their first lover. And for Han, his adulterous partner, though ignorant, did just that.

His ignorant neighbor did nothing but provoke his dormant demons that had just seemed to find peace upon developing a secret, sex-oriented relationship with a man too foolish and fearful to say anything to anyone about it. But Bang just had to ruin it.

Bang just had to call him by that pet name and Bang just had to question the root of his sexual knowledge. He just had to bombard Peter with the question even when the younger man made it so, so clear that he was not comfortable with answering-

"Dad?"

No response. Just the sight of his dear father performing the very act that was promised to never occur again to him and his mother. Smoking. He watched as the man laid slumped back in his seat with eyes closed and a pipe in hand, thick, addictively toxic smoke quivering his lips.

Jonathan strolled up closer to his parent, face scrunching at the unpleasant scent. He outstretched a hand to poke the elder's arm, mentally preparing himself to flinch at any sudden violent movements, fueled by fright, made by his father.

"Dad. Are you okay?"

Flinching and coughing violently at the scare, Peter slapped one hand over his chest, the other laying the pipe somewhere near his chair on the ground before cupping his mouth in an attempt to silence the sounds and not wake the third member of their household.

"Jonathan," he gasped, eyes glossed from his throat's discomfort, matched with the unverbalized confrontation from the son who just witnessed the very contradiction to his claims made years before. "Jonathan what are you doing awake? It's far past your bedtime."

"But you promised."

"I promised what?"

"You- you promised that you'd walk with me this evening, so I stayed awake. But when I figured that you forgot, I went to yours and mom's room, and you weren't there. And then I saw the lamp light on outside," the boy spoke timidly, fingers fiddling with each other at his back and voice periodically cracking with his words due to the arrival of puberty. "So then I came outside, only to see you here... I thought you didn't smoke anymore."

"Don't tell your mother."

"What?"

"Don't tell your mother that you saw me smoking and, I'm sorry for not walking with you. I forgot. I'd make it up to you tomorrow."

"Well, alright then," Jonathan hesitated before speaking again, lips trapped in between his teeth and eyes claiming uninterrupted focus on the action of the elder's hand; shamelessly picking up the still lit pipe with one hand.  "May- may I have a try?"

"No! Hell no, Jonathan. Smoking destroys people. Not even I should be doing it, I'm aware. Now go back to bed!"

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"Jisung. Hannie, breathe. Just breathe."

"How- how do you do this so effortlessly," the dark-haired youngster sniffled, eyes red and glassy from the violent coughs leaving his throat just seconds before. "You make it look so easy."

"It takes practice. And you'll get used to it if you keep up."

"I can't... my father may recognize the scent and scold me..." Han pouted subtly, tone soft and hormones reeking havoc at the unexpected contact of a pair of tender lips with the center of his forehead. "Didn't- didn't your father grow angry when he first found out?"

"I'm a grown man, Jisung. My father can't grow angry at me because of my decisions anymore."

"Hmph..."

"What is it now?"

"Can I- can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

Sucking in a deep, skeptical breath, Han closed his eyes for more mental courage to ask, fingers tightening their aimless grip on the hem of the thick blanket hugging his slim frame, and head leaning sideways onto his partner's shoulder. "Where- how did you learn to do... what we did last night?"

"Past."

"What?"

"Everybody has a past, Jisung. Some are dark, some are bright. Some so bad that... you just can't be proud of it no matter how much you try."

"So... are you proud of your past?"

"No. And I have a tendency to make people ashamed of theirs, just as I am of mine."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see in the future."