I woke up in the early morning after another shuddering dream. I got up and looked at the bed before sighing and turning away. I went to the bathroom and took a shower before going to the kitchen. I didn't really want to eat but I forced myself to have some toast and milk. I put on my boots and walked down to my job at Joe's Record Shop. I unlocked the doors and locked it after me. I swept the floors and turned on all the lights, music and registers before completely opening up the shop.

I sat on the stool behind the counter, doing a sudoku in my little book. It doesn't usually get busy until afternoon, which completely works out perfectly. I'm always up by six in the morning and no one else wants to wake up for the morning shift and I don't want to interact with people. So, I always get the opening shifts when it is the least busy. But when the door opened at quarter to ten, I felt my heart start racing. It could be anyone, what if they need help? What if I don't know the answer?

There were soft footsteps around and I saw the person pass a shelf and get into my view. I couldn't see anything more than the black hair at first that contrasted with her white skirt and light blue sweater. She looked over, tucking her hair behind her ear with a small smile on her lips.

"Gee," I said in a small voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Hey," she said, walking up to the counter.

Gee had the cutest little smile where her pink lip gloss reflected off the lights.

I swallowed and took a deep breath. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Oh, I just wanted to pop in and say hello," Gee said. "It was fun having you at Ryan's party, Frank."

"Oh, y-yes," I muttered. "It was...fun."

"It's okay if you didn't think so, it might not be the most ideal place for everyone," she said. "And Ryan is a bit of a talker."

I nodded, biting my lip.

"I guess I was just wondering if you wanted to grab coffee," Gee said.

"Oh, I'm working," I said.

"I-I kind of meant another time when you aren't working," she said.

"Oh," I mumbled.

There was an awkward silence and she took a step back.

"You know what, I guess I'll just see you around," she said.

She gave me a small but disappointed smile before leaving. I pulled out my sudoku and continued working on it until Ryan came in to join me for his shift.

"How has it been?" He asked.

"Dead," I said. "Your friend came in, Gee."

"Oh, how was that?" Ryan asked.

I looked at him and shrugged. "She was probably looking for you but asked if I had wanted to get coffee with her."

"Oh, nice, when are you guys going?" He asked.

"I'm not," I said.

"You told her no?" Ryan asked.

"I just didn't say anything," I said.

"You didn't say anything?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as I nodded. "So she asked you out and you just stared at her."

"Unintentionally," I said.

"How do you do that unintentionally?" He asked.

"Panic," I said.

"Well, you should call her up and ask her," he said.

"No, that's okay," I said.

"So you don't want to go out with her?" He asked.

"No," I said.

"Okay," Ryan mumbled as he looked in the register.

I looked over at him. "What?"

"Nothing, I just don't know why you always do this," he said. "A perfectly cute girl who's into you tries to make a connection and you always just act like this."

I stared at him and he stared back before sighing. He walked past me to unpack some of the new boxes of shipment. My heart was racing as I took a few deep breaths. I took a drink of water and smiled, making Ryan look at me weird.

"Can I have her number?" I asked.

"Yeah, you can go on break too," he said.

He wrote her number onto a sticky note and I went into the staff room. I sat down, typing in her number. I stared at my screen for a solid five minutes before finally hitting the call button.

"Hello?" Gee asked.

I didn't say anything, everything just fell from my brain. Every single little thought vanished.

"Is someone there?" She asked.

"Hi," I whispered.

It was quiet. I wasn't sure if she even heard me at all.

"Frank?" She finally asked.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"No, no, it's okay," she said. "I was actually hoping for a mysterious call from a cute acquaintance."

"Oh, this is good then," I said.

"So, I was wondering if you were still wanting to grab a coffee or something?" She asked.

"I'm on break right now," I said.

"Perfect, I'm still in the area," she said. "I'll meet you outside the store."

I said an awkward goodbye before hanging up. I grabbed my jacket and my wallet before walking out.

"Finally," Ryan sighed. "I thought you were going to die alone or something."

I gave him a small wave before waiting outside. Gee walked up with a small smile and a polite little wave.

"I'm glad you agreed to join me," she said. "I was wondering if I was gonna have to dangle like a damsel in distress."

I nodded and we walked to the coffee shop on the corner. It was normal at first, we made small conversation. Well, mostly she made small conversation. And then her phone lit up with a notification. It didn't bother me, sometimes checking your phone is okay, even if you are on a weird date thing. It didn't bother me when she answered the text. No, what bothered me was her phone background. Gee was talking but I stopped paying attention a while ago as I stared at the screen that had gone back to black more than a minute ago.

"Is that your niece?" I asked.

Gee stopped talking, looking at me before glancing down at her phone. She smiled and tapped the screen, holding it up for me to see the wallpaper of her with a little girl.

"No, she's mine," she said.

My stomach dropped as I nodded.

"Her name's Bandit, she's two and a half and super sweet," Gee said.

Her face was glowing, she was radiant. I thought I was going to die.

"My break is about to end," I said, standing up.

Gee looked taken aback and a little hurt. I dropped some cash onto the table and walked out. Before I knew it, I was running down the street while cold air nipped at my face. I felt like I couldn't breathe, everything was just closing in as I stepped onto the train. My phone rang and I pressed it to my ear.

"First of all, you can't leave in the middle of a work day, I'm still your boss," Ryan said. "Second, why did Gee call me sobbing about how you ditched her when she told you she was a mom? I didn't think you were one of those--"

I hung up, leaning back in my seat. I tried taking calming breaths but everything was moving faster than it should have. I sat down at the grave in front of me and cried. I just cried. Back in New Jersey in the middle of a cold night. Nothing in my life ever seemed right. I tried to stop thinking about the racing thoughts going through my mind but I knew they couldn't be stopped for anything. My lip quivered as I tried to stop thinking, tried to stop thinking about Jamia. Tried to stop thinking about Gee. I just wanted it to all stop.

There were some messages on my phone from Ryan as he became less angry and more worried. I called him back at around one in the morning, hoping that maybe he was asleep and wouldn't bother even answering. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hey, Frank, are you alright?" He asked.

"I-I won't be able to make it to work tomorrow," I muttered.

"Okay, is everything okay?" He asked.

"I'm in New Jersey," I said.

"Oh, okay," he said.

I hung up, wiping off the headstone. I walked to my parents' house, knocking on the door. My dad answered the door, tired and disheveled.

"Paco?" He asked.

"C-can I crash here?" I asked.

He nodded and I went upstairs to my childhood bedroom. It was clean now but still looked the same. There were posters all over and random records on the shelves. I curled into my bed when there was a knock before the door opened. My mom came in and sat on the end of the bed. She rubbed my back gently as I cried.

"Did you go to the cemetery?" She asked and I nodded. "It's okay, sweetheart."

I shook my head, burying my face into the pillow.

"She trusted me," I whispered.

"It was an accident," my mom said. "You need to get some rest, I'll make you pancakes in the morning."

She kissed my head before leaving me alone in the cold, dark room. Alone with my thoughts wasn't better. I tried not to think so I grabbed my old guitar. I ended up playing all night, crying in the windowsill until my fingers were bruising. I assume I eventually just passed out in my bed because the next thing I knew my mom was waking me up and the sun was shining. I didn't feel any better, though. I was tired and worn out. My fingers hurt like hell.

I poked at my food at the table while neither of my parents spoke. Maybe it was better this way, I didn't feel like speaking back to them. And I didn't speak for the rest of the day. I'm not really a talker. But I knew Gee was a talker. Maybe she could do enough talking for the both of us.